Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It
Chapter One: A Forgotten Memory
Kim Crawford, cheerleading captain class president lifeguard feminist senior editor Pokémon master, was bored.
This was not a normal occurrence for her. Kim kept so busy during the school year that there simply was never any time for her to be bored. She was, after all, a member of every single student organization in the high school (as well as a few community ones), and of course she had karate. But at the end of the spring semester when the final bell rang to dismiss everyone for the summer, most of her clubs were put on pause. And though Kim hooted and hollered with the rest of them as they all loaded onto the buses to go home, by the time she got back to her room the cheery smile had all but melted off her face. All she could think was, well—what now?
Kim's parents were not very sympathetic. When she complained of her plight, they simply rolled their eyes and suggested that she eat her food a little faster before it got cold. They had both already devoured their raw steak like the ravenous animals they were. It was a wonder that Kim had turned out as polite and normal as she had, having been raised by two anthropomorphic wolves after her birth parents had mysteriously disappeared when she was two.
Suddenly, Kim's doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" shouted Kim, racing to perform the task. Her hands had been starting to tremble from lack of accomplishment.
Standing at the door was none other than Kim's (crush no boyfriend no lover NO) friend, Jack. Jack was a relatively tall boy who had never quite outgrown the Tony Hawk craze that had swept the nation a few years back. He still wore beanies and carried his skateboard everywhere despite the fact that it tracked dirt, and he still held himself with that laid-back skater boy cool attitude. Kim knew that Jack made it a point to rumple all of his clothes before he wore them. Achieving the effortless look did not come without effort.
By far the most intriguing thing about Jack Brewer, however, was his hair. Jack Brewer had magic hair. It grew at an absolutely astounding rate of one inch per minute. Jack had no choice but to carry a pair of barber's scissors with him at all times and to constantly cut it to prevent it from getting completely out of control. Most of the time he kept it swept up in a manly bun to try and manage it, but frequent trimmings were still necessary. If one ever needed to find Jack, one could simply stare at the ground and follow the trail of brown hair clippings until one reached him.
"Hey, Kim," smiled Jack, shifting from one foot to another, "can I come in?"
It was hilarious whenever Jack phrased his requests as questions because everybody did whatever he wanted anyway. Jack called it "The Jack Effect." Kim hypothesized that it was simply a side effect of his magic locks. Nevertheless, she nodded, curious as to why he was there but mostly grateful for the stimulation. She closed the door and ushered him into the kitchen where her parents still lurked cleaning the dishes. They all exchanged greetings.
"Well, kids, sorry to dash, but the full moon is out tonight and your mom and I have got to get in at least two hours of howling before it gets too late and the neighbors complain about the noise," announced Kim's dad matter-of-factly, "but it was good to see you, Jack!"
"Domo arigato Mr. Roboto, Jack!" added Kim's mom before she and Kim's dad both dropped to all fours and scuttled away. Kim's mom had taken the fact that Jack had once lived in Asia way too seriously. It was embarrassing.
"Man, Kim, your parents are hilarious," Jack chuckled good-naturedly, "are they ever going to take those costumes off?"
Jack was under the misguided impression that Kim's parents weren't actually wolves but instead very dedicated furries. Kim, not wanting to deal with the fallout of correcting him, had been steadily going along with Jack's theory since the first time he had voiced it. "Uh, I'm not sure," she replied, "They just—"
"Well anyway," Jack interrupted, "That's enough dialogue. Kim, I came here for a reason."
Kim's heart started pounding. She knew exactly what this was. She knew that Jack had finally realized that they were meant to be together and had come to confess his feelings and eternal love for her.
"See," Jack continued, brushing a loose strand of shimmering hair back behind his ear, "this past year I noticed that we've been getting really close. I trust you more than anybody else in my life. That's why I feel comfortable bringing this to you…"
Jack hesitated. Come on, Kim thought while licking her lips, get on with it!
"I think one of our friends has gone missing. And it's not Jerry or Milton or Rudy, if you count Rudy as a friend."
Kim's mind froze, completely caught off guard. This certainly wasn't the declaration she had been expecting. Still, she recovered quickly. Improv club had made her a master at reacting quickly to surprises. "What are you talking about?" she asked carefully, "Milton and Jerry and Rudy are the only people we hang out with!"
Jack shook his head. His hair had overflowed from his bun and grown to the middle of his back over the course of their interaction so far. "I thought that was true for a long time, Kim, but it's not. There's another boy who used to hang out with us. For some reason nobody can remember him. Even I was tricked, and I thought that was impossible. But I caught sight of this on the dojo floor the other day, and everything came flooding back to me."
Jack reached his hand into his back pocket and dug out a small object. He slowly and theatrically uncurled the fist he had clenched it in to reveal the item to Kim.
"Oh my gosh, are those eyebrow tweezers?" Kim's own eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Jack nodded solemnly. Suddenly everything came rushing back. The torrent of memories slammed into her like a truck.
"No way," she gasped, "Edgar!"
On the other side of town, Jerry, Milton, and Rudy were hanging out in the dojo. Without Jack or Kim around they couldn't practice any karate, so instead the three had wheeled in an old TV and were gathered around on the floor watching an old Jackie Chan movie.
Well—Rudy was watching the movie at least. Milton Krupnick, certified N-E-R-D nerd, was not paying attention at all and instead had his head buried in some brick of a novel. Milton was red-haired, freckled, and skinny enough to make any girl jealous while repelling them at the same time. Milton served as the source of information in the small friend group whenever a situation called for obscure facts or scientific prowess. This wasn't often, but Milton kept his arrogance and sense of superiority sharp by pointing out whenever his friends were wrong about something and by constantly playing (and winning) trivia crack games on his phone.
Jerry did not have his eyes on the screen either. Instead, two females sitting at a picnic table just outside of the dojo occupied his attention. Jerome "Jerry" Martinez considered himself to be very handsome. He spent most of his time fulfilling Hispanic and bad-boy stereotypes, but underneath all of that he was remarkably loyal and fun.
Rudolph "Rudy" Jervis Gillespie, the only one currently viewing Jackie Chan tear it up onscreen, was the middle-aged sensei and owner of the dojo that they all belonged to, the Bobby Wasabi Martial Arts Academy. Rudy had a large forehead and an even larger pile of regrets that he liked to ignore by hanging out with people over twenty years younger than him. He was not a pedophile, though he had been mistaken for one so many times that he had formed a rather close relationship with one of the cops, Joan, who was always getting worried phone calls about him. Rudy was useful sometimes.
"Ugh, why won't you guys watch the movie with me?" whined Rudy, "I wish Jack was here. He would watch the movie with me."
"Hey what's up dudes," announced Jack, sweeping into the dojo with Kim trailing right behind him.
"Jack!" shouted Rudy, Milton, and Jerry simultaneously.
"What a perfectly convenient time for you to show up here," stated Milton enthusiastically, slamming his book closed.
"What it do, girl?" Jerry leered at Kim. Jerry had a bit of a crush on Kim. So did Milton, and all of the other boys at school other than Jack apparently.
"I missed you guys!" exclaimed Rudy. "Watch this movie with me!"
"No thanks," replied Jack. He was all business. "We have an important matter to discuss."
"But what could be more important than Jackie Chan?"
Jackie-Chan, thought Kim, glancing at Jack not so subtly.
"This," stated Jack shortly. He thrust his hand outward and revealed the eyebrow tweezers to the trio. All of them gasped at once, as shocked as Kim had been.
"Edwin!" Jerry wheezed, "I completely forgot about him! Where is he?"
"We don't know," said Jack, "That's what we want to find out."
"I can't believe you forgot about Earl!" accused Rudy, glaring at Jerry. "How could you?"
"What? You forgot him too, man!"
Rudy ignored this. "And you!" he snapped at Milton, who was sitting there red-faced, "Aren't you supposed to have a photogenic memory?"
"Photographic," corrected Milton in a stunned voice.
"What if he's dead?" asked Jerry.
"He's not dead," said Kim.
"How do you know, can you sense it?" Jerry placed both palms on his breast. "In your heart?"
"Well, okay, I guess he could be dead."
"He's not dead!" Jack inserted. Everyone calmed down a little bit at that—Jack was never wrong, after all. "He's gone somewhere, or he's been taken. It doesn't matter, because now we're going to find him." Jack smiled. His hair trailed across the floor. "C'mon guys, we can do it. We're the Wasabi Warriors."
"Bring it in," added Rudy, wiping a tear from his eye. Each of them reached out a hand and stacked it on top of each other's. Kim made sure that her palm lingered on Jack's.
"The hunt for Edward starts now," declared Jack. "One, two, three… WASABI!"
Meanwhile in a small and dimly lit room…
A slim man with shockingly white skin was currently reclining on a bed of nails, brooding about overpriced coffee and the decline of My Chemical Romance. A door nearby suddenly creaked open forebodingly, and a cloaked figure appeared and approached the first.
The cloaked figured bowed. "My lord," it whispered in a raspy voice, "I am sorry to interrupt, but I have been receiving several reports that people from my former life have finally noticed my absence."
"Ah," replied the slender man, "I see. It was only a matter of time... a ridiculously long time in this case, ha, they must've really hated you!"
The man cracked up laughing. The cloaked figure shuffled in place awkwardly until he had finished. "Well, anyway," chuckled the man, "They should make things interesting. Obviously we cannot let them succeed in finding and retrieving you."
The man stood up dramatically. He ran a hand through his green hair and his bright eyes flashed like a cat's.
"It's time to assemble the squad."