Logan looked down at his laptop's clock for probably the 100th time. 3:06 a.m. He didn't know why he was torturing himself on a school night, but it was just one of those night where he couldn't sleep because of it, so he did something about it.
He brought the hand towel he had sitting on his lap up to his mouth again as he took a deep shuddering breath. He didn't want to wake up his step-dad, and he really didn't want his step-dad to realize he was crying.
He didn't understand why he was still crying over it. It had been two years since it happened, nearing three. It was stupid, in his opinion, to still be crying over it. But he couldn't help it. It just hurt so much some nights.
He lifted the headphones back to his ears, and continued listening to "Love Song" by "Five for Fighting." This was probably the 20th time he had listened to it, and it still brought tears to his eyes. The subject was hard for him.
"She says, 'Maybe it's over.' He says, 'There's plenty of fish in the sea.' I say, 'Don't go away, don't go away, please don't go away from me.'" Logan sang along to the song. That was exactly what happened, although the roles were reversed on his parents end.
Logan still didn't really understand what had happened. He didn't understand why his parents got a divorce.
He still couldn't believe his parents had gotten a divorce. They had kind of sprung it on him. They hadn't been fighting or anything. One day, his mom had told him that they were moving down the street. Just her and Logan, and just for a little while. Logan agreed, not really putting much thought into it with his 10 year old mind.
But one day, his dad came over, which was kind of shocking. Logan didn't really have time to go over to his dad's in the year he moved, and they grew apart greatly. Kendall, Carlos, and James had been over at the time; they had just been chilling and watching TV. Logan's mom had been at work.
His dad had said that he had gotten a call from the post office, saying that he had an important letter that he needed to go get. He said it was probably Logan's mom filing for divorce. Logan hadn't taken him seriously, because his dad made cruel jokes that all the time. Logan never really minded.
But when his dad returned about 30 minutes letter, and showed Logan the divorce papers, Logan broke down. He didn't remember when or why his dad had left after that, he just knew he was gone. Kendall had hugged him while Logan cried. Carlos sat nearby, waiting to be needed. And James, for some reason, had called Logan's mother. When James gave Logan the phone, she told him that Logan's father had no right to tell him about the divorce like he had. She said she had planned to sit him down and tell him. At the moment, he was all but furious at his mother for not telling him about it sooner. He was glad his dad had come and told him, and he still was.
It hadn't been long after that, maybe a month, that the Logan's mother started talking about getting married. Logan didn't even have a feeling about that information, but he was mad about one thing; he didn't even know the man. He probably met him twice, and if you had asked Logan his name before he was informed that he was going to be his step-dad, Logan wouldn't have been able to tell you answer.
Put now it had been two years, and he knew his step-dad well. They were close, sorta. And he had made 3 new best friends in the new town in the new state. They were all close, probably beyond close, but he still couldn't help but missing his old friends from time to time.
Speaking of his new best friends, Logan thought about going to Kendall's. Kendall lived probably about 3 miles away, but he was the only one Logan was willing to spill all this stuff to. He told James and Carlos, but neither of them seemed to get how much it hurt Logan.
Logan looked at the clock again 3:39 a.m. Wow, a half hour had passed. That's what happened on these nights. Anyway, if he got his bike, he could probably make it to Kendall's house in like 45 minutes. Counting on if he didn't get hit by a car.
Logan decided against going to Kendall's house, knowing well that Kendall had his window and door locked, so he would have no way to get into his room. And Kendall had recently broken his cell phone, so he couldn't use it.
He would've texted James or Carlos, who live completely on the other side of town, but he knew both of them were asleep and wouldn't be answering their phones.
He hated that he didn't have anyone to talk to about how he felt. He did once morning came, but once morning came he had gotten his emotions in line, so he didn't have a point to be telling them.
He hated his parents' divorce. He hated having to split his holidays. He hated having 2 addresses. He hated that his last name was different from his mom's. He hated that he only got to see his dad every other weekend when it wasn't a holiday. He hated not having his dad around to help him with his homework. He hated everything.
He hit the replay button on "Love Song" and listened again, tears flowing down his face, again. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't want to read the new book he got, because it reminded him of the time he read the whole previous series at his dad's. He considered going back to bed so he wouldn't fall asleep during history the next day, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it quite yet.
He pushed the laptop off to the side slightly and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil, both which were just randomly lying on his desk. He took a deep breath, trying to relieve some of the pain he felt in his chest, and started writing.
I don't know what exactly love is,
So I can't tell you how it starts,
But I can tell you how it ends.
Love should never end,
It's something beautiful and alive.
But when love ends,
It turns into something dark and dead.
It carries that darkness into the ones who were apart of the love.
Most can ignore it.
I am one who can't.
The darkness, like previously said, is dead,
It eats at my soul. It hides in my tears. It messes with my brain. It lives in my heart.
The end of one love has ruined my love. I'm scared to love.
I shouldn't be, but I am.
So, I can't tell you exactly what love is.
But I can tell you the end of it
Logan stopped. What was the end of love? He knew what it was, he just couldn't put it into words.
Deciding on taking a break, he went back to his computer. He looked over his Facebook to see he had a notification. His dad had liked one of his statuses.
Smiling, Logan went to his chat box and went back online, seeing his dad was online.
Hi. Logan sent him.
Hi. Why are you awake? His dad wrote back.
Had a dream, I guess. Can't remember. Was wide awake and got on here.
Well, it's good to talk to you but you need to go back to sleep.
Logan couldn't help but smile as two more tears ran down his cheeks. Okay, okay. I'll go back. Love you.
Love you too. Bye.
Bye.
Smiling and crying, Logan took the piece of paper in his hands again.
But I can tell you the end of it kills.
Yeah, I know that was pretty horrible, but this story is completely based of the night I'm having. If you parents are divorced, listen to "Love Song" by "Five for Fighting" It's a really good and I've been listening to it non-stop since midnight. It's 4:09 now.
Divorces suck. I'm super sorry for everyone who's gone through them, especially the older children, because for them, one minute the parents there, and the next there gone.
So, review. I thank you if you've read this much. G'night.
