Written tired and high on sugar (Pepsi will kill me, people!) while battling rabid Lubies off my Samka prey and talking to a friend online. Originally published in AEB, but might as well find its home here, too! :) I think it would also be fair to point out that out of possible fandoms, I'm anti-Luby and anti-Lusan. Carby I don't mind, Samka I love.
I
was also pissed off at some Abby worship, and this is me lashing out
at those who bug me. :) I don't like the character of Abby. Never
have, never will. Don't bother commenting I'm a stupid b-tch just
because you don't agree. My opinion is just as valued as yours, Abby
fan. This is not a personal attack.
:)
------------------------------------------------------------
Hiding
a rant amidst a verse
There
once was a girl called Abigail Lockhart.
They tried to sex her up,
she was nothing but an old fart.
So they hooked her up with some
sexy ol' guys,
To whom she could tell only half-assed lies.
Til
they both got sick of her and traveled quite far
To get away from
her tendency to drink down a bar.
So now she ducklips alone, her
misery not ending
So TPTB decided to do a little mending...
They
sent her to med school to fail all her boards
And lose ER fans by
masses and hoardes
Til they brought Sam in, the ratings were
dropping
But with her appearance, viewers were hopping
Who is
this gal? This feisty little thing?
And with which doctor will she
first have a fling?
Perhaps Romano? He sure needs to get
laid!
Or perhaps Pratt, the slightly over-paid?
Perhaps she's
for Kerry for some lesbian fun...
If she's for Morris, girl, you'd
better run!
But I have a guess, an educated hunch...
With whom
she will end up from this doctoral bunch.
He's from Croatia, and
he's rather moody..
But not for long, after some Nurse Hottie
booty!
But Lubies, they say, he's with her for her
son...
Alex, oh, he's a scary little one!
Dissecting pets in a
diabetic haze
Giving Luka's eyes that horny little glaze!
We
all know in Sam, Luka sees his daughter,
Jasna was her name, lost
in war and slaughter.
And I'm quite sure he's just replacing
Abby,
Because let's face it: she's not only crappy,
But
incompetent too, not to mention quite lame
But our Luka, well, he
wants his girls tame!
Except not, but that's ok for
some!
Close your eyes, scream, when the plotline ain't
fun.
Because we all know ER exists for a reason
And anything
other than Luby is treason!
But, oh, how will they handle the
sweet EL kiss?
Or the first night together in absolute bliss?
Will
they ignore Sam's jealous little streak?
Or will they point out
that Sam is too weak?
No, they go for the low punch right
there...
They say Sam's too mighty to care!
They tell her: "Get
off your high horse right now!
Abby's much better than this stupid
little cow!"
It makes me wonder how easy it must be
To
live in a world of fan fic fantasy!
Who cares if Abby's issues are
bigger than Sam's hair?
"Can't you see the chemistry? It's
right THERE!"
And let's forget for a moment; just a pause in
my rant;
That Luka would have chemistry with a damn potted
plant!
If all Abby can do is whine, bitch and pout
And Sam,
pardon the expression, is so totally out,
Who will Luka end up
with? Who will share his life?
That would be Susan, his soul mate
and wife!
Except there's no love, or affection to share
But
Lusans are way too ignorant to care.
And maybe I'll stop
writing, right now is a good time.
Honestly, I can't think of
things that will rhyme!
Comments bring more poems (of varying quality...)