and when the moon falls, he howls to her
Someone was chasing her.
Jinora's heart pounded in her throat as she ran through the woods. She never should have gone in alone. She never should have left the village without a weapon. She never should have gone in at night. And now she was going to die. She just hoped it would be quick, even as her stomach churned and searing heat scorched her muscles, but some part of her doubted it. She had heard some wolves liked to play with their food; poor old farmer Caboge had been a prime example, and if Jinora closed her eyes, she could still see the grisly stumps the search party had brought back, all that remained of the old man for his family to bury.
She choked back a sob as she leaped over a log and her cloak snagged on a branch. Her fingers flew to the clasp and she cursed, fumbling with it, before finally undoing it. Still, those few seconds had cost her precious time, as she picked herself up from the forest floor. Her vision blurred with tears as she ran past trees, not used to the thick underbrush. She had never been this far into the woods before, and wondered how much longer it would be until she hit the wolves' territory. Perhaps she was already in it. Perhaps the whole pack would rip her to shreds.
She tripped over a slippery rock and skid forwards, as the pounding paws on the grass and dirt slowed down, yet grew louder, as did the growling. Jinora turned over onto her back; if she was going to die, she wanted to see the wolf that killed her. Her body was trembling as she managed to crack her eyes open. Through the dark, she saw a pair of luminous green eyes, and the moonlight cast the wolf's body into the light as it stepped out of the shadows.
It had a dark, creamy brown coat. It was a handsome creature truly, yet not a real wolf; her father had told her the strange wolves in their woods were much larger than the regular wolves in the South, and she figured it had to be true. This wolf was massive, and she cringed as it padded over to her.
"Please," it came out as a whimper, her voice hoarse and thick with tears. She curled up into a shaking ball as the wolf stepped closer, sniffing her. She shuddered as she felt its warm breath on the back of her neck, waiting for the moment it would dig in its teeth and rip it out. "Please...don't kill me..."
The wolf stepped over her, the soft sound of its paws hitting the ground cutting sharply into her ears as it placed a paw on either side of her head. A ring of slobber hung from its lips, peeled back in a snarl. Jinora couldn't help it as she started breathing heavily, as if her body was trying to make up for all the breaths it would never get, as soon as the wolf killed her.
Their eyes met, and Jinora didn't flinch as her brown ones bore into the green ones of the wolf. They seemed strangely human, although that was absurd. The wolf's eyes seem to flicker, the mindless urge to kill fading for a moment, but Jinora cringed as the wolf's snout and maw touched her neck. Any second now, she'd be dead.
She was sobbing, but she managed to say, "Please...just let it be quick."
The wolf pulled away - to go in for the kill, she was sure - but it never came. Still crying, Jinora cracked an eye open. The wolf was circling her now, as if conflicted. She barely dared to hope maybe it wouldn't kill her and watched the wolf intently; any large movements could provoke it.
The wolf growled at her, and then turned around and in one bound, disappeared into the surrounding trees.
Jinora's lungs gulped down air as she shuddered, her chest heaving as she lay on the forest floor, the feeling slowly returning to her numb body. Oh God. She was alive. She was alive. The wolf hadn't killed her. Why hadn't it killed her? They always killed humans. Always. Why was this wolf different? Why was she different?
She managed to pick herself up onto her knees, and promptly threw up. The vomit scorched her throat, but once it was out, it was somehow easier to breathe. Very slowly, she stood up, not fully trusting her shaking legs to support her body. She wrapped her arms around herself, taking a deep breath, before she started back towards the village, coming to the worn dirt path in another fifteen minutes, picking leaves and clumps of dirt off her clothes.
What would she tell her family when they asked where she'd been? They'd never believe her. Hell, she had seen it with her own eyes and she still had trouble processing it. No, she'd have to keep this a secret, and figure this out - whatever this was - on her own.
As soon as she arrived at her house - a large, red-brick two storey, not far from the town square and the butcher shop, although her family were vegetarians - she stumbled up to her room and crawled into bed, still shaking. She felt ill and feverish, but strangely, more alert of her surroundings than ever.
She just couldn't shake the feeling that there had been something so human about the wolf's eyes.
"Where did the wolves come from?"
Her father looked up from his paper in surprise, folding it and setting it aside as she sat in the armchair across him in their house's small library. "What brought this on?" he asked, regarding her curiously and stroking his pointy, brown beard with flecks of gray. His face was heavily lined, a result of being the mayor of a village plagued by wolves, she supposed.
"Nothing in particular," she lied easily. "I'm just wondering. Maybe we can send them back where they came from, after all."
Her father sighed heavily. "Well, the wolves aren't exactly...wolves. Or at least, not fully - according to legend, anyway. The myths say they're werewolves - half man, half wolf, able to transform at will, and most powerful the greater the moon grows in the sky. A woman named Yue was the mother of the first werewolves, after she fell in love with a wolf and bore his children," Tenzin explained. "Whether it's true, or not, nobody can say. But the villages down South say their wolves aren't nearly as big, nor as intelligent - as intelligent as a mindless beast can be, of course. Nobody knows where their home truly is, and either way, ending the violence they bring upon the village isn't going to be as simple as sending them away."
Jinora nodded, letting the information sink in. Werewolves. She had met a werewolf. It had spared her. But it still didn't explain why. Was there some humanity in those green eyes? Tenzin had still referred to them as mindless beasts. The wolf part must have been much, much stronger than the man. She was probably just silly, thinking otherwise.
"Does that answer your question?" Tenzin asked, studying her. She forced her face into an reassuring smile.
"Yes, thank you," she stooped down to press a quick kiss to his bony cheek before leaving him alone with the paper, heading to the next house over, which was her own. Tenzin had reluctantly allowed her to move out when she had turned 18 to a little cottage of her own, partially because her younger brothers Meelo and Rohan had to share a room, and with two growing boys it had been getting cramped. Meelo couldn't wait to train as a Hunter, brave young men and women of the village who alone were courageous enough to face the wolves outside in the woods. A few of her family friends, Mako and Bolin (a pair of brothers) and Korra, one of her neighbours, were Hunters. Maybe they knew more about the werewolves. How to track one.
She paused with her hand on the doorknob of her door. What was thinking? She was lucky enough to have survived one encounter with that werewolf. Who knew it wouldn't kill her again? Or that she'd even be able to find it again? It-it was insane.
But why did it let you go?
She sighed, the question repeating in her mind in a sort of endless loop as she tried to sleep that night, and in the morning, she had made her decision: she'd try to find the werewolf again.
The slab of meat was slimy and cold and she tightened her grip on it, her fingers digging into the tenderloin. Purchasing the largest steak the butcher had had not been cheap, but Jinora figured it was a fair price if it kept her alive. Besides, her parents would never need to know what she had spent some of her allowance on anyway. The butcher never asked too many questions, thankfully.
And now she was here, alone in the woods, trying to find a werewolf in the dark. Jinora had always prided herself on being a very smart person, but this, this was without a doubt the stupidest thing she had ever done. How did she know that another werewolf wouldn't find her and finish her off? How did she know the wolf's mercy hadn't just been a fluke?
How did she know there was more humanity than monster? A flash of green eyes, a spark of mercy, that was all she had to go on, all that she was betting her life on? Why was it when she needed to be logical more than ever, her heart drove it out of her?
She nearly dropped the meat when she heard the quiet snap of a branch, and whirled around to see a wolf stepping out from the trees. It had the same creamy brown coat, the same piercing green eyes. It was her wolf - well, not her wolf, but -
She tightened her grip on the steak. "H-hello," she croaked out, and then cleared her throat as a low growl emanated from the wolf. "I-I brought you this," she held up the meat. "Uh, thank you...for not killing me." She swallowed hard as slowly the wolf took a few steps forward. "Please, don't kill me this time either, I... I asked my father, about the wolves. He says the legends tell us that you're werewolves. Is that true?"
The wolf's growling grew louder and Jinora's heart sank. This had been a mistake.
"Alright, alright," she said quickly, beads of sweat trailing down her neck as her heart pounded in her throat. "We don't have to talk about that. But, er..." Her hands were shaking as she held out the slab of meat, and then went an extra mile and tossed it in front of her. It hit the forest floor with a dull thud, and she watched as the wolf cautiously approached it, its black nose wiggling as it sniffed it. She let out a soft sigh of relief as the wolf picked it up in its mouth and began eating it.
Once the wolf had finished, it looked up at her and snorted, and somehow she understood what it was trying to tell her: it wasn't going to eat her.
"I have to ask, though," she said hesitantly, as the wolf shuffled almost nervously, pacing from side to side (probably just to have something to do, she reasoned). "Are you...a boy or a girl?" The wolf tilted its head. "Girl?" A shake, shaggy fur whipping from side to side. "Boy?" The wolf jerked its - his, head, in a small kind of nod. "Alright."
"I-I wanted to find you again," she told him. "I...couldn't get you out of my head. What you did. Why...? Why did you spare me?" He paused in his pacing, turning his head to look at her. Jinora stiffened, watching as the wolf slowly dropped into a sitting position. It almost seemed like he was wondering the same thing.
Jinora wasn't sure what to do, as they sat there in silence. She hadn't really thought she would make it this far.
She should probably be heading back to the village soon, she realized, as it had taken her almost an hour to find this place again (although she was sure next time she came - if there was a next time - she'd be able to find it much easier).
"I'll come back tomorrow," she told the wolf. "I'll bring some stuff to show you, alright?"
As she found the courage to turn her back to the wolf, she wondered if he would show up again the next day. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to or not; if he didn't, this confusing mess would be over before it began. But if he showed... well, maybe it was already beyond her control, maybe it had already begun.
And maybe she wasn't sure if she wanted it to stop - at least not until she got her answers.
The wolf showed, padding into the clearing and looking up at her while she entered. Jinora hadn't been able to afford more meat, but she had worn a cloak and used it to sit on the grass, and she had brought a book of fairytales. The similarities to the story of Little Red Riding Hood weren't missed on her, even if her cloak was a light grey instead of red.
"I'm going to read to you, if that's alright," she offered, startled as the wolf slowly padded towards her and prodded the book with his nose. "This is a book of old stories," she explained, gradually relaxing as his wet nose pressed into her fingers, before he pulled away and sat beside her. Still far away enough they weren't touching at all, however, but as Jinora read aloud and turned the pages, she wondered what his coat would feel like. Silky and smooth, or thick and coarse? It was hard to tell.
She wondered if he really was a werewolf, and this was just his wolf form. He certainly seemed intelligent, listening with rapt attention to the stories, particularly Little Red Riding Hood.
He growled when the wolf in he story died and she winced. "Yeah, it's not a very happy ending for the wolf. I should have thought better of it, I'm sorry." He stopped growling and she took it as a good sign. "Would you like me to read more to you?"
He let out a soft woof and she managed to smile. "Alright then," she turned her attention back to the book.
Once the light faded from the trees, it was a struggle to make out the words. She marked her page and turned over to the wolf. "I'll come back and read more to you tomorrow," she promised.
The next day he went so far as to sit right beside her. The fur that brushed against her hands and wrists was soft and smooth, but Jinora focused on her reading. How reading to a werewolf would help her understand why he had spared her, or protect her village from his kin, she wasn't sure, but she didn't know what else to do.
So she read, and he listened, and as the days passed, she looked forward to escaping to the woods for a few hours - never long enough for her family would become suspicious. She was still careful, as was the wolf, but she thought they had reached an understanding, or at the very least, neither would kill the other.
On the day she finished reading the book of fairytales, almost two weeks after she had started, she named the wolf. She found the name in the story of The Beauty and the Beast, as Kai was the true name of the Beast. It was fitting, she decided, and although she never said it aloud, it was easier than referring to Kai as the wolf all the time.
She smiled when she spotted him the next day, his tail wagging at the sight of her. She reached out first, hesitant as always, and her hand scratched behind his ears when he padded over to her. She sat down on the ground and he plopped down beside her, and did something he had never done before: he laid his head on her lap.
Jinora looked at him in surprise, and he looked back up at her, and she smiled softly. She stroked his fur for a few moments, before opening the new book she had brought, and beginning to read. His head was a pleasant warm weight, his fur soft under her fingers as she continued to pet him.
She didn't only read, sometimes she talked to him. She told him about her family, and friends, and now when she said werewolf he wouldn't growl at her. Very rarely, they'd play a quick game of tag or one-on-one hide and seek. Kai's eyes gleamed with amusement and affection when he looked at her, and Jinora looked at him in fondness and trust.
Whatever this wolf was, he was not a mindless beast like her father had said. He was, dare she say it, a friend. Tentative at best, dangerous in every sense of the word, but... he would not harm her. She knew that now.
What if the rest of the wolves were like him? What if they too could be friends, one day?
It was probably wishful thinking. Dangerous thinking. Kai was probably a fluke. He never should have spared her in the first place. She was sure any other wolf wouldn't have. Any other wolf hadn't, with anyone else in her village. A merciful werewolf hadn't existed, until now.
And whatever she and Kai had wouldn't stop the war between their peoples.
Like they always did, the wolves attacked the village on the full moon. Protective walls had been erected around the entire village, with a stone wall around the Church, which held all the children and those that wouldn't be fighting. The Hunters stood along the walls, rifles and pitchforks clutched in their hands.
Jinora lit one of the last candles in the church, the flickering flame casting shadows over the children as they huddled together in a fearful clump. "It'll be alright," she promised them, and hoped tonight's attack wouldn't make her a liar. The raids had been getting worse and worse this past year; each time the wolves advanced further into the village, and less of them died, meanwhile more villagers than ever were being injured.
She wondered if Kai would be part of the attack. Had he killed people? He must have. He had been about to kill her, once, after all. Would he kill someone tonight? In front of the other wolves, would he kill her? She wasn't sure. She hoped she wouldn't have to find out.
A lump formed in her throat, as she prayed for the safety of her family, her friends, and her wolf.
Jinora almost didn't see the limping wolf on the outskirts of the village. It was early morning, the air cold and crisp - autumn was well on its way - and she had decided to to the butcher's and get a little something for Kai, seeing as the previous night was likely a rough one.
She took the back route from the butcher's shop, down a more deserted lane back towards her house, the brown and orange leaves crunching under her feet when she noticed a dark brown mass near the forest's edge. She squinted, cautiously stepping closer. It couldn't be... Her eyes followed the narrow and short trail of blood leading up to the wolf, when it turned back and looked at her.
Kai's green eyes met hers and she gasped. She dropped her package of meat on the dirt road and rushed over to him. "Kai!" It was the first time she had called him by the name she had given him, but it didn't even register as she dropped to her knees, placing her hands on his furry neck. "Oh damn," she hissed, wincing as she pulled her hands away and saw the blood on her skin.
It didn't seem like a bullet wound, thankfully. A knife or pitchfork, maybe, had speared it, but it didn't seem deep either. Still a problem, but hopefully something she'd be able to handle.
Jinora wished she had the strength to carry him, but she knew there was no point in trying; even if she did have some real upper body strength, Kai was massive and surely weighed a ton. Korra, who was the strongest person she knew, probably wouldn't have been able to carry him. She had to get him somewhere safe though, and the closest place was definitely her home. Kai would never make it to the werewolves' territory, and even if by some miracle they did manage to get there, there was absolutely no way the pack wouldn't kill her.
"I'm gonna get you patched up, alright?" she said softly, and Kai whined; pity swelled up inside her as he tread carefully, not putting his full weight on one of his paws. "I know it hurts, c'mon, just a little further..." She picked up her meat from the butchers, and guided him back to her home, constantly paranoid that someone was going to spot them. What would she do then?
But luckily, no one found them. They made it safely to her back door, and Jinora unlocked it and the door swung open with a creek. She and Kai stepped into her simple living room: a couch and a rug set up by the fireplace, with a whole wall of bookshelves, brimming with thick and thin volumes alike.
Jinora got the fire going, figuring Kai would appreciate the warmth if he had been stranded out in the cold all night, and then put the meat in her icebox. Next, she filled a basin with water and heated it on her stove, before taking a rag. She knew she had bandages in the cupboard, but first she had to clean the wound. She only had her back turned to him for a few moments, so imagine her surprise when she turned around and found a naked man on her rug, sitting in the same spot the wolf had been curled up in only a moment ago. She nearly dropped the bowl of water; it slipped through her fingers slightly, but she managed to catch it in time.
The man had dark skin, reminiscent of Kai's creamy brown coat, just a few shades lighter, but his tousled hair was the exact same shade. He glanced at her, and their eyes locked, green meeting brown. It was him.
Jinora managed to find her voice. "So you are a werewolf," she said faintly. She flushed. "And naked."
She was just grateful his back was to her, so she couldn't really see too much. His back was heavily scarred, the glimpses of she got of his chest was all lean muscle.
"Is this form shameful to humans as well?" he asked curiously. His voice was deep, and slightly rough, as if he didn't use it often, and Jinora supposed he didn't.
"No, no," she said quickly, her blush deepening. "I just - humans usually cover up more, wear clothes," she gestured to herself, stumbling over her words. She couldn't manage to look away from him, although perhaps that was partially because her friend had an entirely human, very attractive, completely new form for her to get used to associating with him. "Like me, er, I-I'll go get you some clothes, okay, just wait here - I'll be right back-"
While Jinora went up the stairs to her room (the only room on the top floor) she did her best to collect herself. She reminded herself that Kai was injured - there was a bloody gash on his back and some blood on his chest, staining his dark skin - and it allowed her brain to clear as she rummaged through her closet. There had to be something Kai could wear... finally she stumbled upon a pair of old pants she had been sewing up for Meelo, only for him to outgrow them before she finished. They should be big enough, as both Kai and her brother were tall.
She raced back down the stairs and tossed the pants over in Kai's direction, surprised at the swiftness of his hand as he caught them. Any regular human wouldn't have been able to in time. But, she had to remind herself, Kai wasn't a regular human. Or really human at all. He was a wolf. A werewolf.
She tried to wrap her head around it as she told him, "Put those on," and turned around for him to do just that. There was a faint rustling sound and after a few moments she asked, "Done?"
"Uh huh."
Slowly, she turned back around to face him, and wanted to kick herself for feeling a twinge of disappointment that he was now wearing the pair of grey pants. She winced at the sight of blood on his chest, and took a rag from the kitchen, soaking in the warm water before wringing it out, leaving it damp. She looked up at him nervously.
"This might sting a bit," she warned, trying to keep her hands steady. She walked over to him and sat down on the floor behind him on her knees, as the wound on his back seemed to be worse than the one on his chest. His skin was marred with scars, most of them thin, faint lines, others running down his shoulder blades. It seemed like this new scar would just be another added to the collection, and Jinora was confident it would heal nicely, with a little medicine.
One of her hands rested near his right shoulder blade, as the other gently cleaned out the wound after she poured some rubbing alcohol onto it. She could feel him breathe, his skin warm under her hands while she worked. His hands tightly gripped the rug underneath him, his knuckles turning white, but he never cried out, even though she knew it must have hurt quite a lot.
Once the blood had been more or less cleaned out, Jinora decided to give it some exposure to the air and time to dry, and turned her attention on the cut on his chest. Now that she had to face him, she felt heat flood her cheeks and tried not to look at his face, even though his eyes - the green ones she had grown to know so well - were trained intently on her face. It didn't help that she was kneeling in between his legs, her hand on his shoulder, and she could feel his warm breath, see every rise and fall of his muscled chest while he breathed.
Her throat went dry and she mentally swore. What was happening to her?
"You called me Kai," he said softly, after a long stretch of silence.
"Well, I didn't want to keep calling you wolf in my mind," Jinora shrugged, flushing. Giving a werewolf a name seemed very silly now that she was sitting with him in his human form. "What does the pack call you?"
"Beta," he answered, his syllables short and sharp, just like his gleaming white teeth that she only caught a flash of while he talked. Some piece of Jinora's brain remembered wolf rankings: Alpha, then beta, some more rankings, and at the very bottom, omega. Kai was second. Skilled, surely. Definitely strong.
She still refused to look at him. "Do you want me to call you that?"
He looked at her and she nervously met his eyes. They were still so intense, like they were seeing straight through her, like she couldn't hide anything (not that there was something she was trying to hide). "You shouldn't call me anything. We shouldn't meet again, we never should have met in the first place." He went to stand and his legs wobbled. "I should go now, before-"
"No." Jinora put a hand on his chest over his heart, pushing him back into a sitting position startled at the way heat flooded her fingertips and ran up her arm, and she quickly took her hand away, glancing up at him and biting her lip. What had that been about? "You're still hurt... how long will it take for the pack to notice you're gone?"
"Two days. It always takes a few days for everyone to regroup, after an attack."
"Then you'll stay until tomorrow evening," she said firmly. "And give yourself a chance to heal properly before going back."
He frowned at her and crossed his arms over his chest when it became clear she wasn't going to budge. "Fine."
She worked a little while longer on the wound, and once she found it to her satisfaction, she grabbed the bandages from the cupboard and wound them tightly around the injured areas. "Now," she said, stepping away and standing in front of him. "You should get some rest."
"I am not taking your bed."
"It's alright, really." she insisted. "You're injured, and I'll sleep on the couch downstairs, and that way I'll know right away if someone tries to come in." She figured logic might sway him, and she was right as he sighed and nodded.
"Fine," he said again.
"Is that your favourite word?" she teased. "Fine?"
"Is that what humans call joking?" he asked, tilting his head to the side, his frown fading.
"Yes," she smiled, and then tried to look stern. "Now get some rest."
"I'm not tired. The pack walks for days straight, sometimes," he said, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbows. She decided not to fight him on it and sat beside him. He studied her, his eyes growing thoughtful. "Why are you doing this?"
She raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"You're risking your life to help me," he said quietly, his brow furrowing. "Why?"
Jinora fidgeted with her fingers. "You spared my life."
"You didn't kill me either."
She snorted. "I wouldn't have been able to kill you."
"I didn't know that."
They fell silent, the only noise the sound of them breathing and the crackle of the wood in the fireplace, the flickering light casting shadows over their faces. Finally, Jinora spoke, her voice small but clear as she asked, "Why did you spare me?"
Kai glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "You answer my question first."
Jinora sighed. "Fine. I'm helping you because you're my friend." It felt strange to say it out loud, even if it was the truth. Now that it was out there in the open, there was the possibility of rejection, and Jinora stared at the crackling fire, not having the guts to look at him.
"I spared you because you were different." She turned towards him, their eyes meeting. "I-I have killed humans, before," he admitted, and as much as her stomach squirmed, she still felt oddly safe with him. "And they always shut their eyes. But you...you stared right at me. And if I had gone through with it I would've had to see the light leave your eyes and I...I couldn't do it." His voice grew softer. "Even after you came to visit me, that first day after, I regretted it. But I don't regret it anymore."
"Because I'm helping you?" she asked, her voice wavering.
He shook his head slightly. "No. It's because I would have done the world a great disservice, taking away a soul as kind as you..." she blushed and smiled a little. "I still don't know your name."
"Jinora."
It felt even stranger to have to introduce herself to a person she already considered a good friend, and when the friend in question already held her in similar esteem.
"And you?" she added, after a moment of silence. "Don't you have a real name?"
His smile faltered. "I am not considered worthy of one," he said, the bitterness in his voice surprising her. "I am not a real wolf."
Her brow furrowed. "Not...?"
"I was bitten, as a cub, not born."
Jinora paled as an old story, a hazy memory, rushed back to her. A baby boy had gone missing when she was very young. His parents had been killed in a wolf attack, the house destroyed. The villagers assumed the baby had perished, either by the wolves or the elements' hands. Over the next few years the sad incident had never been spoken of, the only reminder the stone wall of the house that still stood on the eastern edge of the village, never rebuilt or used again.
"So you were human," she said softly.
He looked at her, and then down at his hands, flexing his fingers. "The pack says our human form is weak, shameful, just like humans themselves are, so we stay in our wolf form for as long as we can."
Jinora frowned at him. "Humans are not weak or-"
"What the pack says," he corrected her. "Not necessarily what I believe, or what every wolf believes."
"I disagree with the pack on another matter," she said, staring at him intently. "I think you are worthy of a name, even if it's not the name I gave you."
His lips twitched upwards. "Thank you, Jinora... And you can call me Kai."
She smiled slightly. "Alright, Kai." He yawned, and her smile grew. "Now are you ready to go to bed?"
He nodded. "I think so."
Having a werewolf in her house was a strange experience. Jinora curled up on her couch and watched the fire die, long after Kai had gone upstairs to her room. Her brain wouldn't shut up, running through worst-case scenarios in her mind... someone coming in and finding Kai. Would he kill them? Would they kill him? What if the wolf pack grew suspicious? What would they do then?
She still hadn't fallen asleep when she heard the creak of her stairs, and set up, looking curiously over her crouch to see Kai standing on the steps, his frame illuminated by light. "Already up?" she asked softly.
He gave her a sleepy smile. "Got restless. I'm not used to sleeping all by myself."
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, you...have a mate?"
Kai laughed and shook his head. "No, no, not like that." He flashed her a grin. "The pack all sleeps in the same clearing, you know, so I'm used to just being around them. It's weird not having them there... Nah, I don't know how humans do it, but courting in the pack is a really serious thing. Werewolves mate for life, so," he shrugged, "it's kind of a big deal."
She made room for him on the couch and he sat down beside her as she drew her knees up to her chest. "It's the same with humans, more or less. Most people court one or two people - or sometimes a lot more or less - before they settle down."
"You don't have a mate yet?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.
"No," she answered. There were a few boys in the village she thought were attractive, but none had ever really caught her eye.
He looked at her curiously. "I find that hard to believe."
She blushed. "Well it's true." She expected Kai to look away from her once she had stopped talking, but he continued to keep his eyes on her. Her blush deepened. "Something wrong?"
Kai quickly looked away. "No, it's just...I am not around many humans for long periods of time. Like I said, our human forms are considered weaker. Shameful. So we stay as a wolf for as long as possible."
"How long can you stay in it?"
"A few weeks usually, without changing," he replied. "I shift in the night sometimes though, in my sleep. The pack shames me for it."
She frowned at him. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged. "There's nothing you can do. Besides, I'm used to it."
"Well, if you're not going back to sleep, I can fix up the meat I bought earlier," she climbed off the couch and walked over to the kitchen, Kai turning to watch her. "You ever have cooked meat before?"
"Once, but I do prefer it like that," he watched her pull the meat out of the icebox with a grin on his face. It was nice to be out of wolf form for once, especially since now they could have real conversations, not just Jinora talking. "We got a fire going one day a few years ago - it was Tarrlok's idea, to try and eat it the way the humans. His father was furious with him, so nobody's eaten it cooked since then."
"Why? Is he really important in the pack?"
"You could say that." Kai half-smiled. "He's the Alpha."
Jinora's face fell. "Oh... I'm guessing that's not exactly a good thing?"
Kai shook his head. "Not really. He's not a bad Alpha...just not a very kind one. One of his sons, Tarrlok or Noatak, will be Alpha once he's passed. They may be Betas like me, but they're both idiots. Probably Noatak, or maybe Hama - she's a she-wolf but she can still be Alpha, if she challenged Yakone. She'll probably wait until one of his sons are Alpha, 'cause they'll be easier to beat."
"So a wolf can challenge the Alpha, and if they win, then they're the new leader?" she clarified, and he nodded. "Humans use a voting system, and candidates, and things like that."
Kai's lips twitched upwards. "I'm afraid werewolves are a bit more barbaric."
"You don't seem barbaric to me," she reached for his hand, taking it into her own and giving it a squeeze, a little alarmed at the rush of heat that shot up her arm at the contact. His palm and fingers were rough and calloused, but warm, pressing into her smaller, smoother hand.
He smiled, but there was no humour or happiness in it. His eyes grew sad as he dropped her gaze. "I'm a werewolf, Jinora. Humans say I'm a monster... and they're right."
"No, they're not." She didn't know exactly when she had become separated from humans as a whole, or why she hated seeing him sad so terribly much. Her free hand lifted his chin and forced him to look at her. "You are not a monster, Kai. Those...those monsters and villains in the fairy tales were horrible, cruel, selfish people. You are none of those things."
"I am selfish," he corrected her, pulling his hand out of her grip. "I'm making you risk your life for me-"
"You are not making me do anything." A lump formed in her throat as he stood up from the couch and went to talk towards the door. "Kai, no-" She wedged herself in between him in the door, managing to stop him in his tracks. For how long, she wasn't sure; he was certainly much stronger than she was, although how much of that was his natural strength of being a werewolf, or just his earned abilities, she didn't know.
But she knew she could not let him leave. He wasn't healed enough yet.
"Jinora, let me go. I'll be fine."
"No, you won't I..." her voice died suddenly as he gently brushed his fingers over her cheek and she met his eyes. She forced her voice to work again. "We had a deal. You're staying until tomorrow evening, nobody will notice anything. I'm usually by myself during the day, my family won't question it. It-it's fine. Besides, if you left now, someone would see you for sure and you'd be killed as soon as they realized what you are... they do see as a monster, but you're not one Kai, I promise you."
Kai surveyed her, and she could see his eyes soften as his resolve faded. "A werewolf never breaks their promise, ever. If you give me your word, that you truly believe that, and that you'll let me leave, tomorrow evening, without a fight - then I'll stay."
"I-I promise." She swallowed hard.
He stared at her, trying to detect any hint of untruthfulness, before he finally sighed. "Then I'm staying." He noticed a stray curl falling in front of her eyes, and tucked it behind her ear. Jinora stared back up at him, wide-eyed as he pulled his hand away, gently trailing his fingers over the curve of her cheek while his hand dropped, her heart pounding in her throat.
"G-good." She turned away from his eyes, which were still intently trained on her, and looked around for a distraction from their close proximity. She found one, seeing the meat in her oven. "Oh, looks like the meat's done," her voice sounded faint, but she felt like she could breathe properly as Kai stepped away, allowing her more space.
Apparently werewolves didn't understand the whole personal space thing the way humans did.
Kai took a seat at her kitchen table as she took the meat out of the oven and tilted it onto a plate. "Is it strange," he began after a couple of bites, "seeing me in human form? It's different, isn't it?"
"It is different," she admitted. He didn't use the cutlery, digging into the meat with his bare hands, juice oozing out of the steak. "But it's a good different. It's...nice." To look at, certainly. The thought came before she could stop it. "To be able to have real conversations, now especially."
"I know what you mean," he smiled.
Jinora slowly returned it.
It was harder than she had thought it would be to let Kai go.
Jinora cautiously opened up her door and poked her head outside. Nobody was out; it was dark enough that everyone else had already turned in for the night, her little village set aglow by street lamps and lights in windows. "It's all clear," she whispered. Kai stepped out behind her onto the dirt road. Her fingers latched onto his wrist when he went to step in front of her. "Wait, Kai..."
She even surprised herself by pulling him into a hug.
His arms slowly wrapped around her, his grip loose but reassuring. Jinora could feel what remained of his back injury underneath her hands. They had healed well - not well enough that the pack would be suspicious, Kai had assured her - even after she had removed the bandages. Kai told her he would store the pants in a hollow tree near their clearing as well, for when they met up again, although he had warned her it might be a few days before it was safe.
"Be safe," she said, her voice soft and small.
Kai grinned at her. "Of course. See you soon."
Jinora watched him run towards the woods, until he disappeared into the trees, out of sight, but not out of mind.