[ATONEMENT]
by McLanche
DISCLAIMER!
I do NOT own Naruto, or any of the canon characters, nor am I profiting from this story in any way. This piece is for entertainment only. I do own
the plot.
WARNINGS AND REMINDERS!
This story will contain scenes of violence and offensive language, and can as well have implicit or explicit sexuality.
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[CHAPTER ONE - HIS LIFE]
How many times did he stood alone in the battlefield? Countless times. He couldn't even take an accurate guess. Certainly, it was too many. But for far longer he had been alone outside the battlefield. At home. At the academy. Training. Eating. Sleeping. Always alone. Even when surrounded by people. Even when surrounded by team mates. Always the loneliness. And for a long time he didn't took notice of that. He lived his life in pursuit of his vengeance, and the path he walked led to a place so wasted and sad that he almost regretted it. It would be wrong to say that he hoped his vengeance would bring him happiness in the end, but yes, he expected to be fulfilled by it. But it the end he didn't. He felt void. Empty. Sad. And alone. Because he did it. He had his vengeance. He killed his brother. He killed the ones who plotted the death of his family. Itachi, Danzo, the other two members of the council. All dead in his hands. And the price he paid? The price was to do the unforgivable.
But he was forgiven. Not by everyone. By far, he was one of the most hated people in his home. It didn't bothered him, as he knew he deserved. But he wasn't alone anymore. He had important people. He was important to a few. And that fact now made all the difference. It gave him strength to move on. Even with the sadness. Even with the pain, and the guilt. Because he had been forgiven by the ones that really mattered to him. It was enough for him to be satisfied and to give him the strength he needed to pursuit his new objective. Now, the one who lived half of his life pursuing revenge, took another road. Now he was a man in pursuit of atonement. Because he had killed innocents. Because he had killed a friend.
Looking at the ceiling of his dark room, Uchiha Sasuke moved uncomfortably in the bed. His body, moist by a tiny layer of sweat made the sheets stick to him. He should be asleep by now, resting his mind and body, but as always the same nightmares awoken him. Then as every night, his mind wandered about his life as the sad loneliness of the night overcome him. With a soft sight, he looked at the two naked women fast asleep beside him, one each side, surrounding him. Both of them extremely beautiful. A blonde and a brunette. The air in the bedroom was hot, and the scent of their sins still lingered in the room. He loved none of the two, but he eventually found out that sex was one of the few things that could pleasure him. That could satisfy him, even if for a short time. And it wasn't hard to obtain. Even hated as he was, his handsome features and the right lines could get him pretty far. And so he sought comfort in the warmth of women. But he knew that too was empty. An empty act of love, meaning nothing more than his selfish way of seeking pleasure and comfort. He never lied to them, tough. He never said he loved them. He would have sex with them as long as they wanted, but he would never say he loved them. Because he didn't. The only one he loved, was forbidden for him. Untouchable. True love was already out of his reach, since long. For him, all that was possible, was the temporary fulfillment of the void.
While his thoughts slowly came to that sad end, he saw through the window that the sun was starting to rise to the sky. The day was starting. He had a lot to do, as always. He got out of bed, without a sound, looking a last time to the beautiful pair still asleep in his bed. After that he took a quick but refreshing shower, dressing his casual clothes, and then went to the kitchen in the first floor, where he started to cook breakfast. It was a traditional breakfast, with rice, fried fish, miso soup and natto. It was the only breakfast he could do that tasted good. He decided to learn how to cook after coming back to the village, and little by little was improving, although he thought it was harder than ninjutsu. So much for the great Uchiha survivor. Defeated by frying pans and spicy sauces.
He prepared three places in the table, and served it, sitting to eat his own. The girls would eat when they woke up. He was in the middle of his breakfast when noticed the sound of steps in the stair. The brunette entered the kitchen, now covered with one of his t-shirts, that covered her entire body to her tights. She never lost the bad habit of taking his clothes and using them. Seeing him, she smile brightly, walking to him and embracing him, from behind the chair, her arms enlacing his neck. He felt the cold metal of her glasses softly pressed against his face.
"Good Morning, Sasuke-kun" - she whispered in his ear, kissing him lightly in the cheek soon after and then sitting beside him. She never let go of the "kun" either. Even after they became lovers.
"Good Morning, Karin." - he replied, calmly. - "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, I'm as good as new!" - she said, looking at the food, and then smiling - "Oh, what a surprise! Rice and Fish!" - she teased playfully.
"If you're unhappy with my food, you can try wake up earlier and do it." - said the black haired man with an slightly annoyed sigh.
"No thanks..." - said the Karin with a happy smile. - "I like being spoiled by you when I spend the night."
He sighed again, but smiled a little. He knew that. It was not like Karin would mind to cook for him, if he asked her to. On the contrary, she would probably be happy to do so. But he enjoyed the time he spent cooking and after all he put her through, it wasn't a big deal to cook the meal for her too. Even if the breakfast was always the same, with rare exceptions, when he made simple toasts.
"You're going to work soon?" - She asked after a while, a time she took to savor the food. It was simple, but tasty.
"Yeah..." - he answered simply.
And they stood in silence again. He had nothing to talk about. It wasn't as if he didn't like her company. He only didn't had anything to say. And she knew it was usually quiet around him. It didn't bothered her. He would give her plenty of attention in other occasions. They both ate in silence for a little longer until Sasuke finished his meal. He got up, putting his dishes in the sink and was ready to start washing the dishes when the bell rang. Karin looked at him still eating and he shrugged slightly, proceeding to answer the door.
"Yo, Sasuke!" - shouted the bright and clear voice of the blonde man in the porch, who entered the house without any ceremony, a big smile on his face.
"You're loud as ever, Naruto." - complained the Uchiha with an annoyed look, while he caressed his ringing ear. The blonde smiled at him, full of energy, waving his hand, as if saying for him to not care about minor details. - "What are you doing here so early?"
"Oh! I come to pick you up!" - he announced brightly, giving the raven haired man a thumbs up.
Sasuke sighed.
"I can get to work on my won, stupid." - replied the Uchiha.
"What kind of reaction is that?! You dickhead!" - shouted Naruto, with fire in his eyes.
"Whatever, calm down..." - the dark haired raised both his hands chest high, as if surrendering.
"That's better!" - said his friend, with his usual smile.
Karin then got out of the kitchen, and looked at them, smiling and waving for Naruto. Given her close relation with Sasuke she ended up getting to know his best friend, and even with his position in the village, she could be informal enough with him.
"Good morning, Hokage-sama. You're up early today." - greeted the girl with a smile. He smiled back.
"Ooooooh." - Naruto gave Sasuke a mischievous smile, exaggerating his reaction. He was already aware of his friend's open relationship with Karin, but it was a different story to caught her at his house, barely dressed. He had to tease a little. - "Good morning, Karin-chan. Nice outfit!"
That made Karin blush slightly, remembering she wore nothing but Sasuke's t-shirt.
"Ah, yeah, I... err... I'll going to... change" - she said slowly quickly making her way to the stairs. Naruto smile just got bigger, showing how much fun it was for him to make her embarrassed.
"Did you have to do that unnecessary comment?" - asked Sasuke, after an annoyed sight. Naruto just waved his hand in his usual 'don't worry about the details' sign and turn his attention to a small conversation upstairs, looking puzzled to Sasuke.
That was until he saw a blonde woman show up in the stairs, making her way down, wearing nothing more than Sasuke's white bathrobe. She looked at them and blushed, awkwardly. Then she bowed to them, respectfully.
"Good Morning, Hokage-sama. Sasuke-san." - she said in a soft, if not meek, voice. Then she quickly evade to the kitchen. Naruto looked while she left, amazed, managing to mumble his own greeting.
"Good Morning, Saori..." - replied the Uchiha, nonchalantly.
"Damn, you bastard." - said Naruto after she disappeared in the kitchen. - "I envy you so much right now..." - Sasuke just smiled, as he walk to the front door, Naruto following right behind.
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They walked in silence while they made their way out the Uchiha compound, still as empty and sad as it was before. Sasuke knew the reason why Naruto was quiet. It was a painful matter for both of them, and it seemed that Naruto was avoiding it as much as him, for as long as he could. Outside the compound, they walked until the main street, watching as men and women left their homes to work. Everyone one of them greeting Naruto with affection and respect. It was visible how much his best friend meant to them. He was a hero among heroes. Sasuke was mostly ignored, eventually being greeted or glared at. He greeted the ones who did the same with a calm smile and a simple hello, and ignored the glares of hate and disgust. He deserved them. He knew it.
They saw the stores in the main street opening for the day and academy students running for class. Young housewives out to shopping and young men heading for work. A nice sunny day in Konoha, that could enjoy an every day peace, all thanks to the man by his side. The one who ended the war. The one who granted him forgiveness, even when he couldn't forgive himself. His best friend.
After a while, walking to the Hokage Tower, Naruto finally decided to speak.
"You... remember what day is today?" - he asked, looking to Sasuke, his hands still in his pocket. The happiness he showed before, seemed to have vanished completely.
Sasuke took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment, as a sharp felling of guild pierced his chest. This day was carved into his mind, and he would remember it forever. He opened his eyes and nodded.
"Yeah, I do. It's her birthday, right?" - He was sure of it, but asked for confirmation, anyways.
Naruto just nodded. He then asked after a while.
"Will you visit her?"
"Yeah, like every year." - the Uchiha answered without hesitation.
"I bet she would be glad that you do so..." - said Naruto, nodding to himself.
"Would she now?" - Sasuke asked, while looking to the sky. Naruto knew it was a rhetorical question, but answered it anyway.
"Yeah, she would."
Sasuke turned to face him for some seconds and then turn to the street again.
"How about you guys?"
"We'll get together and drink something. Wanna come?" - Naruto asked casually.
"You know I won't be welcomed there. I'll pass." - answered the dark haired man.
"As you wish. It'll be at the barbecue shop, after work, in case you change your mind." - said Naruto. He still hoped all of them would forgive him for what he did. They wouldn't, and Sasuke knew it.
They kept walking until they reached the Hokage Tower, and Sasuke followed the popular blonde Hokage to his room. Naruto went in, and Sasuke stayed sitting at his desk. That was his everyday work. The Seventh Hokage's assistant. After all the power the Uchiha had achieved he ended up as a secretary to the one that once was his great rival. And he was satisfied by it, somehow.
When he was exonerated from his crimes by the Konoha Council, after Naruto's speech and public demonstration of mercy and peace, that moved most of Konoha's citizens to tears, a lot changed in Sasuke's life. He was forbidden to carry any kind of weapons, and wasn't accepted in any ninja rank. Of course, no one would want to fight alongside the Uchiha traitor, even if he was the strongest ninja in the village, after the Hokage. After all that, it proved hard to find a place where the former shinobi could work. That's when Naruto arranged for him to be his personal assistant. The former Sasuke would be horrified even by the slightest thought of this destiny, proud as he was. But the new Sasuke knew how great his best friend was. It bothered him a little in the beginning, but now he was used to it.
Now, he was an efficient assistant. As always, in all he did, he would give his all to do it perfectly. It was an trait in his personality that he was proud of, and tried to keep. He was particularly good at making the lazy Hokage get his work done, which was in fact, the main responsibility of his work. Apart from that, he would take some scrolls for Naruto to sign, help in organizational details, one or two advices, and finally, follow any orders Naruto would give him. Except the idiot ones, of course, that would come in a regular basis. He was an assistant, not the coffee girl.
Soon, a soft alarm ringed at his desk, and Sasuke got up to answer the call of the Hokage. It was early in the morning and his job was only starting.
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The afternoon was finally ending, as Sasuke finished organizing his desk, and got up to go home. Naruto was standing by his desk, watching annoyed as the former Konoha ninja, arranged things in his desk millimeter by millimeter. Finally, the blonde got tired and put his hands on his head, Shaking it violently. "Argh! I can't take it anymore! Leave the damn desk be and let's go!" - he screamed, making Sasuke close his eyes to withstand the sudden noise pollution.
"Don't scream in my ears, idiot." - replied him, opening one of his eyes and looking at his friend and getting up.
The two of them proceeded to the exit, leaving the building soon after. Sakura was waiting there, bathed in the warm sunset light, as she waited for them. A manner of speaking of course. She was waiting for Naruto. Sasuke just happened to tag along everyday. He looked at her while the walked in her direction. Her hair was long once more, and she tried to keep it from hitting her face as it flew in the wind. Her green eyes, still as bright as they were when he left, as she looked at them. Her smile still had the same warmth. She was taller now, and her body was full and beautiful. She was the same dream of two different man. But one of them had realized his dreams. The other had fulfilled empty ambitions.
"Hey handsome. Looking tired." - she smiled, kissing Naruto in his lips, and hugging his waist, soon after looking at the dark haired man by his side - "Probably your fault, huh Sasuke-kun? Did you over work him again?" - she smiled, happily.
"Just the necessary." - He replied with a smile of his own.
"Which is a lot..." - complained the Hokage, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, with a sigh. Sakura chuckled a little, and Sasuke smiled calmly. As soon she stop her laugh, she asked.
"So, Sasuke-kun, you're coming with us?" - as one would expect, she was the other who hoped everyone would forgive him.
Sasuke shook his head, nonchalantly as always.
"No. I don't want to cause trouble. You guys go and pay my respects there. I'll just visit her..."
Both of his friends looked at him with a hint of sadness in their eyes. They saw the pain in his own. It showed whenever they talked about her. And that made them both sad. Even after everything. They knew he wasn't proud of that, that it was as painful to him as it was to everyone else, or maybe even more. And they could do nothing about it.
"Sasuke-kun. It was not your fault." - She said. All three of them knew she was lying. - "You didn't knew..." - she trailed of.
Sasuke turned in his heels and started walking.
"Yes, I did...." - he replied in a sad tone, waving softly to them with his hand as he walked away. Sakura and Naruto didn't move, clinging to each other as they watch their friend leave.
The couple only moved after Sasuke was out of their sight. They broke the hug, and he took her hand, as they walked down the street to the barbecue shop.
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Sasuke entered the cemetery a little while after parting with Naruto and Sakura. He was walking slowly, without rushing himself. He had no other place he had to be. No one was waiting home. He could take his time in his visit. He walked past thousand of graves, as a cold wind past by him and threw his hair in waves around his face. It also brought to his nose, the sweet scent of the flowers he carried with him. He had bought them on his way there, planning to put it on her grave.
He saw the grave he came to visit, and walked to it. Another person was standing right in front of it. He recognized the woman, but didn't halted. Silently, without interrupting the raven haired woman in front the grave, Sasuke dropped to his knees, and proceeded to deposit it along with other recent flowers that stood there in her memory. The voice of the woman made him stop.
"Don't." - she said, her voice full of hatred.
He stood up again, the flowers still in his hand.
"I'm paying my respects, Yuuhi-san. I'm allowed to do it." - he replied, unemotionally.
She glared at him, intently.
"I won't allow you to put this flowers in her grave. Step back."
Sasuke sustained her glare, not knowing how to respond to that. He always left some flowers there, on that date. He didn't want to leave without doing it. It was a tradition of some sort. He liked that.
"I have the right to do it." - said the Uchiha, as calmly as he could.
The woman moved fast, closing the distance between them so fast that one could say she teleported. Sasuke saw all of the movement but didn't react. She grabbed his kimono and lifted him slightly. He didn't defended himself nor he countered it. Just stood there, looking at her, blankly. Her eyes were full of anger and hatred, and tears were forming in the corner of her eyes. He had hurt her so deeply that any pain she could be able to inflict him, wouldn't be enough to satisfy her.
"You don't have the right to do nothing, you scum!" - she screamed in rage, shaking him violently. - "You should be dead! You should've been executed!"
"I know." - he said, simply. Her eyes still pierced him. - "But I'm not dead. She is. And..."
"BECAUSE YOU KILLED HER!" - shouted the genjutsu mistress. - "YOU AND YOUR QUEST FOR REVENGE! YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM US, YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED HINATA!"
He didn't said anything. It was the truth.
He killed Hyuuga Hinata.
[CONTINUES]
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[AUTHOR'S NOTE]
That's it for the first chapter. I hope you all like the fanfic. As I always said, I'm Brazilian, so please, ignore major grammar mistakes that I'll eventually make, ok? I still have no idea about pairings and such, so suggestions are welcomed!
Reviews are highly appreciated and will definitely be taken into consideration.