Konnichiwa everyone! I am so sorry if I didn't update my other story "it is YOU". I became busy because of school works. I hope that you will like this one! Please feel free to make a comment. Enjoy! JA!
Feelings…
For all who will read this letter please don't think anything bad. I just write my feelings because I cannot share it with other people. Right now, I feel stupid for liking him because I know that his heart cannot be mine. I shouldn't listen to my stupid heart. I shouldn't let him be my friend. He is so insensitive that I want him to be gone but I cannot stop my stupid heart for liking him. Of all people that I will like, my heart chose him. I thought that we will be good friends despite the distance, your status and many more but I was wrong. The first time that we had this little argument, I feel guilty because it's like my fault even though I became honest with you. I thought that you will never talk to me but you said that you didn't get mad, you just feel sad because of what I said. You know I felt relieved and happy because I know that you are not mad in me. I hate the feeling that I know someone is mad at me and even though it is not my fault I easily feel guilty. After that we talked like any friends will do and you asked for my number, you know I was so happy because this means that we can text when we are not online. One day you asked me who is my crush and I was so shocked that I cannot explained what I feel that very moment. But in the end you know my deepest darkest secret. I was relieved because you didn't stop talking to me but the way you text, I feel that it is too much, too flirty for your current status. I told you that don't be such a flirt because your special someone might get mad at me or at you. But the way you reply, "I didn't said you should flirt with me, I said you should be more tender with me." I get mad because you didn't see what my reason in telling you that. I was just concern but what did you do? Tell some things that truly hurt me. I was so mad that I deleted all you texts and I am saying bad words behind your back. You know you are the first one that I cry over. It really hurts even though we don't have anything special. You said sorry and I was so happy but it feels like it is not sincere. I fell asleep crying but when I wake up, I remember the things you said and this put me into tears again. You are such a flirt! You are so insensitive! I hate you! I don't know why I am so hurt like this, is it because like turn to love? This can't be. It can't be. You know what hurt the most? I heard that you tell something bad about me. I thought you were so kind. But I was wrong, very wrong. You know I just want to kill you and bury you to the very core of the earth. My guilt feelings turn to dust when I heard that rumour. Guilt feelings became hatred toward you. Sometimes I ask what I liked about you. I think it is so funny that I am wasting my precious time for a flirt, insensitive guy like you. This shows that I don't really know you. I realize that you are not worthy for my love and time but I would like to congratulate you because you captured my heart and break it in only one night. It's funny right? We are not even in a relationship but you managed to break my heart by your words. Maybe you are not like that in the one you really love but I just wished that you and you girlfriend will stay strong. If you read this, I hope you will have guilt feelings and you will realize that I don't deserve the things you done to me. I am truly sorry too if for me it is a big deal. Remember that I said that I like you? I think it's not like anymore, its love, I love you. I hate the feeling that someone is mad at me or anything that is not good. I am sorry because it's like my fault again. It's always me right? I am sorry if my words will hurt you. It's what I feel and what I observed and I will admit that I know you and I don't have the right to judge you and with this I am sorry but please don't judge me. Thank you because by this I realize many things. I hope you are happy even though I am not. I just hope too that there will be no hard feelings for each other. I hope someday I can look into your eyes and talk as if nothing happened. Good bye Hiiragizawa…
Your Unrequited Love,
Daidouji