I see Gale on television time to time, and notice his stare getting further into the distance with each passing year. Even the smallest memories bring flashbacks that leave me curled up on the floor until Peeta finds me. Hunting, the one thing I can't avoid, never fails to send the shock through my body. We were so young. We were so brave. Now I'm nothing but an empty shell with robotic movements. I avoid the gazes of district twelve as I pass through the gate. After the second rebellion, doors were installed in order to expand our resources. For me, it's just a pass to grab my bow and run. It's strange not hiding from the authority, when that's all I've done my entire life. I take down the first squirrel I see and drop to the forest floor before I can take another step. His smile. His gray eyes. His rough hands. I grasp to the two things I know to be true. Gale killed Prim. I will always love Gale. My head starts to spin before my vision goes black.
I wake up, stripped of my muddy clothes, and in the protection of my own bed. It's evening now, and I'm sure Peeta is downstairs preparing dinner with Greasy Sae. I slip into a robe Cinna left in my closet for the wedding day prep. I can't help but hug my body to embrace the red silk material. This is the closest I will ever be to Cinna. Before I relapse, I run out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen. Peeta wraps his arms around me without a word. The point is mute. Everyday I die over Gale. Everyday Peeta brings me back to life.