This was originally my one-shot 'Some Things are Better Done Directly' (which is why Gin-san is sick in here…again), but I changed it up to form this multi-chapter story.
Disclaimer: GinTama is owned by Sorachi-sensei, and I make no profit writing this.
I'll correct any mistakes later.
[Edited 3 January 2014—Mistakes Corrected]
…
The murky, humid scent of summer air flowed, bringing in its breeze the noisy kiii-kiii of the cicadas and the gentle rustle of leaves bowing under the wind; almost sweltering and heavy, like the weight of the burdens he gladly carries—his family. They were a light that had poured into his dark-greyish life, bending the tints into a blinding brightness, spreading about a warmth no fire could radiate—he was suddenly plunged into a heaven of sorts, and, looking back at the past now, life almost seemed hazy, drawn in colours he sometimes feared remembering.
And then he came into his life, producing an emotion that tumbled in the pits of his stomach in flutters of a butterfly's dusty wings and rumbled in his chest to force his heart to palpitate in search for the stolen breath, constricting him until he very nearly fainted. Hijikata "Toshi" Toushirou the Demonic Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi they called him; and this demon of a bastard always crawled under his skin, stretching him apart till he was made to lay bare, exposed and naked. Luckily for him, the mayonnaise-obsessed idiot was too stupid and dense about anything concerning feeling—freaking feelings, a thing Gintoki never entertained the thought of nor ever expected to be bestowed with—so Gintoki managed to fool the other into believing his flustering (Ah, the humiliation!) face was the cause of the seasons or some unknown disease. At least, he hoped it was so.
Nonetheless, his heaven was sometimes—once a year, to be more precise—tainted by the hell of the past, strewing about an ugly shade of pitch black; for, no matter how much Shouyou-sensei had desired for his happiness, as ironic as it was, his mentor's death—his head, dirty-blond locks stained with the deep red of his own, exhibited like an artwork, dripping and dribbling fresh blood—haunted him more than awakening as a starving child amongst piles of rotting corpses. If only he had made it several minutes earlier, and Yoshida Shouyou would not have become a presence of the past; if only he had not been weakened and fatigued by the incessant battle of two days and three nights; if only I…
"It's all your fault…"
He awoke with a startled gasp, the cold sweat of Nightmare curling across his neck, plastering his hair against his unhealthy pale skin. His chest heaved, glistening crimson-irised eyes slowly regaining orientation at the pace of a racing snail. He inhaled whilst snaking a shaking hand through his drenched locks, a mantra of it was just a dream…another dream escaping faintly past his dry lips; the breath he then released wavered, hitched, and brewed into a coughing fit, forcing him to curl into himself, and the lack of proper intake of air gave way for a wave of dizziness—almost nausea—to wash over him.
The coughs halted with a punctuating wheeze, perspiration layering on his skin like a shower's water causing his clothes to cling uncomfortably. A shiver wrecked his frame despite the intense, thick heat of the summer night permeating through the window left ajar, and he cursed mentally when the shiver developed into a constant chattering of the teeth that the blanket he wound tightly around himself was incapable to ward off, as if his body had been thrown into a frozen lake, slowly withering under an intense hypothermia.
"Damn…"
Overtaken by a sudden weariness, his lush, silver lashes fluttered as he succumbed into the throngs of a restless slumber.
…
"We need him, that Yorozuya, permanently on our side. In other words, make him join the Shinsengumi."
Hijikata nearly choked on his own spit. "Wh-what?! Are you serious, Kondou-san? That guy fought in the war against the Amanto—like hell he'll join the government that abandoned its soldiers." He chewed several times on an unlit cigarette (those glares he was receiving lately whenever he was about to smoke was seriously getting on his nerves), as if rolling away the immediate dislike that sprung whenever that certain, naturally-permed idiot popped up, which was often much to the aggravation of his increasingly shortening patience.
"We need him, that Yorozuya, permanently on our side. In other words, make him join the Shinsengumi."
He's ignoring me…
"I'm serious, Toushi." There was an unwavering fire in his eyes that only sparked when it concerned owning up to his title, an unusual characteristic for someone so…ape-like. "We need his strength."
He huffed, removing the cigarette from his mouth to stick it at the center of the Hijikata Special meant for Sougo to ch—…eat later. "We can manage without him more than fine; I see no reason, even if he is admittedly quite strong, why we would need him. Besides"—he waved his hand around dismissively—"all positions are filled in."
Kondou exhaled a heavy sigh, his previously impeccable form falling askew when he slumped forth, head lowering wearily. "I know that, Toushi; I do. But once the old man settles on a decision, it'd take a universe times ten Otae-san's to force a change of mind." He begrudgingly returned to a straight posture, hands fisting the black fabric of his pants. "He took notice of Yorozuya's strength—physical and mental—and became quite intrigued and slightly obsessed with it, going as far as to send one of the Oniwabanshuu to keep track of his every move, not that it would change much, considering Sarutobi already stalks him. To put it into his own words, he wants 'Sakata Gintoki permanently on the Shinsengumi's side' and for us to 'take all measures necessary to keep him bound to us, even if we have to force Toushirou into seducing him'."
All colour immediately drained from Hijikata's face. "Why me?! I'm a guy!"
"It's what the fangirls want, Hijikata-san," chimed Sougo from some mysterious corner of the room, followed by an explosion that nearly scalded Hijikata to a crisp, instead managing to splatter the Hijikata Special all about. "…Tch. I missed."
"I heard that!" He grunted a sigh. "And I don't believe shit of what Matsudaira is saying about being"—he raised his hands to form air quotes—"'quite intrigued and slightly obsessed' with that sugar freak."
Kondou hummed in thought. "You are probably right as always, Toushi, but it is not our place to go against his word." He casually wiped away a huge chunk of mayonnaise from his eye against his pants, pretending nothing was amiss. "Put aside all of your duties, Toushi, and convince Yorozuya by all means necessary to join the Shinsengumi." Noting the addressed about to protest, he clamped Hijikata's shoulder, a cascade of tears streaming down his face. "Please. My p**** is at stake here!"
Finding he could only resign, he stood, patting away invisible dust and straightening his vest. "Fine, fine." He turned away, pointedly ignoring the "I hope Danna kills you, Hijikata-san" resounding in the background. "You owe me one, Kondou-san."
Nodding, "All the mayo you want, Mayora-13."
He dragged his journey to the Kabuki District as long as his lazy, long strides would allow, dreading the meeting with the silver-haired bastard; he knew—no, could feel from the depths of his soul the underlying vexation the other always seemed to ignite would flare out of control, leading to a physical wrestle Gintoki never took seriously despite their seemingly equal amount of aggravation, ending in the shattering of Hijikata's sword—how the hell the other managed to break steel with wood would perhaps forever remain a mystery. The first time that had occurred, he feared the curse of the sword would arise once more to haunt him, but he was proved otherwise when the sword mended easily—it was a clean cute, after all, unlike the time of his and Gintoki's first encounter—and Tosshi did not reawaken, much to his relief. Henceforth, he made it a point to carry two swords with him: the cursed one and a normal-perhaps-a-bit-below-standards one, the latter of which had to be constantly replaced by another of increasingly better quality until he belatedly realized most of his earnings were going towards a new weapon every week or so, leaving little room for precious mayo and addicting nicotine. He was bordering on withdrawal now, his hands becoming a shaking mess.
He ground his teeth and buried his hands deep into his pockets, grumbling and scowling at the general vicinity.
"Oh? If it isn't Hijikata-san." Glasses-boy who tended to hang around Yorozuya found his way into his line of vision, a friendly smile on his plain features and waving in greeting. "How are you?"
If this guy's here, he must be somewhere near. He inspected the area briefly before settling his stare on Shinpachi. "Yorozuya?"
The smile on his lips seemed to waver. "Ah, Gin-san stayed behind at home." His smile withered entirely as he leaned in closer to Hijikata, a certain weariness in his eyes. "Just for today, would you mind leaving Gin-san alone? He is…" He averted his gaze, the weariness giving way for what Hijikata could only describe as depression with a hint of concern. "Right now, Gin-san is not in the best of moods, so it is best to let him be for the meantime."
Hijikata couldn't help the curiosity that arose. "'Not in the best of moods'?"
"Patsuan!"
Glasses turned to face the closing-in figure of China. "Are you done, Kagura-chan?"
Kagura, widely grinning with pride, held up her hands to show off the many plastic bags overflowing with cartons of strawberry milk and chocolates. Hijikata guessed the obvious: it was all for Gintoki, who apparently was down in the dumps for some reason or another. To think the same Gintoki who always managed to crawl under his skin needed cheering, and those wards of his were not spilling their guts as to the reason why someone as resilient as Sakata Gintoki could possibly ever need a shoulder to lean on. He cursed silently at his luck—this only gave him more reason to meet Gintoki.
Recently noticing his presence, she greeted, "Oh? If it isn't Mayora. Has stupid Sougo killed you yet?"
His brow twitched with unconcealed annoyance. "You're some witty brat, aren't you?"
"I learn it from the best, uh-huh! Shinpachi, let's go."
"All right." He turned to face Hijikata, giving the latter a meek, apologetic smile. "Sorry, Hijikata-san. I'll tell Gin-san you were asking for him."
Just as they both turned to leave, Hijikata stopped Shinpachi by the arm. "Wait." Noting Shinpachi was about to decline, he fixed his scowl fiercely on the younger, hand unconsciously tightening around the other's arm, effectively shutting Shinpachi up. "I have important matters to discuss with him—and it can't wait."
Shinpachi couldn't find it in him to refuse. He gently removed his arm from the other's grasp. "Just…just, whatever you do, don't—just don't bother Gin-san; it's bad enough as it is."
Hijikata briefly pondered how bad of a mood Gintoki was if it seemed the latter was not even trying to conceal it.
…
"No."
His brow twitched. "I haven't even said anything yet, bastard."
Gintoki turned on his side, pulling the covers over his head so only some wavy strands of silver pocked out. "I'm not in the mood. Go away."
Hijikata invited himself to plump onto the space between the futon and the shoji. He pulled at his ascot cravat, a glittering droplet of sweat sliding down the side of his neck. "Tch. Why is it so damn hot in here? As expected of a lazy, dead-fish-eyed freelancer…"
Thoroughly expecting a retort and perhaps a pillow to the face, he blinked in mildly surprise when he was greeted with silence. Is he expecting me to leave after being continuously ignored? Hmph. Not happening, silver freak!
Then, quiet and nearly imperceptible, cough-cough.
His curiosity heightened to dangerous levels. He wasn't a nosy person at all—rather, he was the type to say "not my problem"—but to see his nemesis in such a poor state—sulking, almost—he could not help but want to pry; he begrudgingly admitted seeing the opponent whose strength he secretly admired so…so weak hurt his pride. Dangerously close to pouting, he settled himself against the shoji, tilting his head back in order to scrutinize the orange-blue sky's clouds streaked with the sunset's tints.
A long silence passed between the two, broken only the occasional shift of clothing and the noisy clatter and chatter beyond the sliding doors.
Eventually deciding to untwist his tongue to ask the question plaguing his mind, he broke the hardened silence with a long sigh, his Thorny personality struggling with the words. He began awkwardly, "Listen, Yoro…Sakata…-san." He wove a hand through his obsidian locks, a blush of sorts settling on his handsome features. "If you need someone to speak to…" This was seriously difficult to say; whoever said speaking one's mind was a piece of mayo? He dragged his hand down his face, futilely attempting to extinguish the burning in his cheeks, stumbling over his words. "…I'm h-here…for y-you." He was screaming internally at this point, dying of embarrassment; his blush spread to the tips of his ears and down his neck, and veiling it behind his hands was not helping much. Aaah, someone kill me! I'll give 300 yen to whomever kills me this instant!
Gintoki suddenly burst into laughter, coughs mixing into the fit of amusement. Hijikata noticed his cheeks had turned a fine shade of roseate, however, and pondered briefly about the blush: was it just him or was Gintoki blushing an awful lot around him? The other tended to blame it on 'being too hot' or 'it's just a fever', but Hijikata knew better—he could only ask why, though, for the reason of such a reaction seemed to be…extremely farfetched.
Hijikata was as red as a crab dipped in tomato sauce now. "D-don't laugh, bastard!"
"Sorry, sorry," he apologized lightly, pushing himself by the elbows into a sitting position. He cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable as he played with his curly locks draping over his nape; his flustered state decreased to a light pink. "It's just…you reminded me of something sensei told me before…" He trailed off, gaze wandering inwards, as he lowered his hand onto his lap; and Hijikata watched the deep grief play in other's crimson irises in mild shock, astonished the other would openly display such an emotion before him, someone who was by no means on a personal level with Gintoki.
Silence lingered between the two for a few moments, Hijikata having an internal conflict as to whether he should…I don't even know what I am supposed to do in this sort of situation!
Gintoki shook his head away from dark, incredibly vivid memories and then turned to listen to the chatter of Kagura and Shinpachi mingled with Sadaharu's occasional bark, his eyes softening as a small smile stretched on his lips. "I've been an ass to them lately, haven't I?"
Hijikata recalled the excitement dancing in Shinpachi and Kagura earlier; the cartons and cartons of strawberry milk—Gintoki's favourite, he knew—and the many packs of chocolates of almost every flavour thought of; the stern 'don't worsen Gintoki's mood by riling him up like you both tend to do to one another'; and he honestly did not know where exactly 'being an ass' had put either of those two off in any way. "What do you mean?"
Gintoki regarded him silently then, his crimson eyes seemingly flicking off layer by layer till Hijikata felt strangely…naked. Apparently satisfied Hijikata would not run off his mouth—whom would he tell it to, either way?—he confessed, "I get moody around this time of year; my health depletes; and to Kagura and Shinpachi…" He lowered his head to shield his eyes with his bangs, shame washing over him. "I ignore them, tell them to go away and leave me alone."
How he did to me when I came in, and I hadn't even said anything yet. "I know. But they don't seem to take it to heart."
Gintoki remained unbelieving.
He stood to saunter in front of Gintoki and sat before the other; he flicked Gintoki on the forehead, forcing their gazes to lock whilst Gintoki cursed at him, complaining, "What will you do if Gin-san's lovely face is inextricably damaged, huh?!" to which Hijikata rolled his eyes at. He took Gintoki by above the elbows, and the other blanched, apparently having an internal panic attack for reasons unfathomable to Hijikata. And was that a blush again? Yes, he confirmed, a very dark blush had spread over Gintoki's peculiarly attractive face, a feature he found oddly suiting on the Silver Samurai. "Listen to me, Yo—Sakata…-san. Kagura and Shinpachi have never once taken it to heart. Rather, they are only focused on offering you support and trying to lift your spirits."
Averting his gaze to stare anywhere but at those intense, cerulean eyes, his blush deepening its already dark hues, he slapped the other away. His mouth remained stubbornly sealed despite his internal turmoil, lower lip trembling slightly in utter nervousness. He gulped thickly, eventually regaining his ability to speak, and questioned so as to divert the conversation elsewhere, mixing in English, "N-nee, Mr. Vice-Commander-san, what brought you here? Surely it was not to visit poor Gin-san and laugh at his sorry state, was it?" He cursed at his initial light stutter.
Hijikata debated how he should go about persuading Gintoki into becoming a Shinsengumi officer: now and blunt or later and subtle? He considered the seriousness of the situation—after all, Kondou-san's manhood was at stake here—and pondered his course of actions. Surely, Gintoki would straight-out refuse him (they weren't very keen about being within each other's presence for extended periods of time) and perhaps even throw a punch his way, refusing with something along the lines of "Like hell I'll join you bastards!" Perhaps the best strategy would be to grow beyond simple acquaintances and learn about one another; though, he was pretty certain Gintoki knew at least eighty percent of what there was to know about him, considering the many times the other had intruded into his matters, ranging from official Shinsengumi matters to the intimately personal level (like that time with Mitsuba). Tch. Nosy, indeed. He surmised his best course of action would, then, be to 'warm up' to the other to then easily convince Gintoki to join the Shinsengumi, as per request of the second-to-highest word of the government—easily said but difficultly done. He seriously did not want to go down the 'seduce' path; he wasn't g-…gay, for Mayonnaise's sake! "Do I need a reason to visit you?" he countered.
Again with the blushing. The sugar freak at least covered up nicely by annoying him with his usual, stupid comebacks: "The Shinsengumi's demonic Vice-Commander is being social—the world is ending!"
"When is the world ending, huh?!"
Hearing the commotion, Shinpachi poked his head inside the room, scowling at Hijikata when he found the former holding Gintoki in a one-armed choke. "Hijikata-san, please refrain from killing Gin-san. You'll worsen his fever." He smiled, nonetheless, when he found the usual Gin-san back, struggling and colourfully cursing at the raven. Perhaps letting Hijikata-san come wasn't such a bad idea, after all. Ah, now I feel indebted. "Hijikata-san, would you care to stay for dinner? I should warn you it consists of sweets only, though, since we ran out of money for anything else."
Hijikata noticed the obvious lie—they probably spent a ton of money on all of those cartons of strawberry milk and chocolates—but couldn't find it in him to point it out. Staying for dinner, however? He sneaked a peek at the silver samurai, who had perked up immediately at the mention of sweets, and briefly considered leaving, but, on further inspection, he found such an intimate event amongst the Sakata family to be a perfect chance to grow closer (as begrudgingly as it was) to Gintoki. "I…guess I'd like to stay," he murmured just loud enough to be heard and couldn't help the pink dusting his cheeks, warming them slightly.
It threw him off when he witnessed the rapturous, sparkling glow in those crimson irises.
…
Shinpachi was beginning to see a strangeness in Gin-san's conduct towards Hijikata-san throughout dinner: the way Gintoki's eyes would linger in a sort of longing on the unknowing Hijikata; the manner in which the former would flinch whenever he accidentally brushed by the latter, or how he would flush a fine shade of red when caught staring or when their eyes met; and the light, embarrassed grumbling of Gintoki whenever Hijikata would poke fun of the other, particularly his physical features concerning his naturally wavy locks. It was disconcerting, to say the least. Well, at least Gin-san is not down in the dumps in the more—rather, he seems like he is in heaven right now with the way he is sparkling and all; I guess it is true when they say people turn more beautiful when they fall in love.
He blinked.
And blinked.
…And blinked.
Then, in all of his suddenness, his strawberry milk splattered over the edge and across the table, plates clattering, when he jolted to his feet, face completely aghast. "I-i-impossible!"
All eyes turned to stare up at him, the minor discussion between Gintoki and Hijikata over whether mayonnaise or sugar was better coming to an abrupt halt, the latter stopping his process of pouring a mountain of his preferred food in the former's cup of strawberry milk.
"What's wrong, Shinpachi-kun? Forget something?"
Almost robotically, mouth still agape, he turned to Kagura. He quickly came up with an excuse—"I-I completely forgot about the new Otsu-chan CD I wanted to show you, Gin-san!"—as he reached down for the youngest to haul her up and away.
Gintoki and Hijikata could only stare in confusion as Kagura was dragged away against her will.
…
"Will you tell what is wrong now?"
Shinpachi had ran at full speed downstairs, nearly tumbling down the stairs in the process and bringing Kagura along with him, and turned to hide in the alley, scaring away some cats rummaging through the garbage in search for food; ignoring her protests and her demands to know what had suddenly overcome the brunet as he gasped for air, seemingly almost hyperventilating.
Once he managed to catch his breath, he clasped Kagura on the shoulders and shook her lightly. "W-we are in serious trouble, Gura-san!"
Kagura merely blinked in confusion and peered around, looking to see if there was indeed trouble brewing but found the area deserted except for the occasional drunk wobbling down the street. "What trouble?"
Exasperated by her cluelessness, he whisper-shouted, "Gin-san!"
She frowned. "What has my stupid son done now, huh?! That troublesome prick never listens to anything I say, I tell you, uh-huh!" She pushed her sleeve up, stretching her shoulder in circles in preparation for a good whacking. "I'll show it to that ungrateful, rebellious brat what happens when he disobeys his father, uh-huh!"
"Not that way, Kagura-chan!" He lowered his tone into barely above a whisper, hesitating with his words. "I'm afraid Gin-san…he…
"Gin-san is in love…with Hijikata-san."
