Awesome minds think alike- the origins of the Bad Touch Trio

Part 1

((A/N: This idea occurred to me one morning when I was bored. I was thinking about Hetalia, and suddenly thought, 'I wonder how the Bad Touch Trio met?' So, this is my take on how it might happen. Also I'm sorry for my fail attempt at accents here. I tried, really.))

Something was wrong. But England couldn't put his finger on what it could possibly be. Something was missing, he knew that much. He ran through the last week in his head.

'What on earth could it be?' He wondered. Sitting in the meeting room, waiting for the others to arrive, he searched his memory. His train of thought was interrupted by the door opening. England's head snapped up, to see France walk in, and take his seat.

'That's strange', though England. Usually, France would make lewd comments or harass England when he entered the room. But France was being uncharacteristically quiet and reserved. England ran through his thoughts again, and realised what was missing. France. More specifically, it had been weeks since France had harassed, disagreed, or even spoken to England. And as much as England loathed France, he was worried. He got up and walked over to France.

"Oi, Frog", England jeered at the Frenchman.

France slowly looked up at England. To England's surprise, France didn't laugh or frown as he usually would when England called him this.

"What can I do for you, England?" France said simply, his face impassive. This threw England a little. France was usually full of emotion, and very expressive. But in that one sentence France had looked so... alone.

England sighed, "France, are you okay? It seems you haven't been yourself lately".

France merely raised an eyebrow, "I wouldn't of thought you of all people would be interested in my wellbeing".

England frowned, "I'm not! It's just you haven't made a move on me or anyone else in over a week! I figured you might be sick for that to happen". At last France showed a little emotion, a tiny smile played on his lips.

"Ouí, I suppose you are right. When you put it that way, I seem... how you say- out of character". The smile quickly disappeared, and France became impassive again.

"England, there iz no need to worry about moí. I just..." France trailed off, and England could of sworn he heard France mumble, "I just wish I had a friend". But that would make no sense. France had friends, right? For what seemed for the thousandth time that day, England shuffled through his memories. In every meeting, France was seated with the rest of the allies, next to England. But that was it, and to be honest, France was most definitely not England's friend. They had fought for years. Even when the Allies went out to drink, France bothered England. But other than that, France was left to his own devices. England had never noticed before, but France was... alone. And it seemed that this had also become apparent to France himself. France had made moves at nearly all the countries, and as such, no-one really trusted him. They thought he might... 'take advantage' of them if they were left alone with the Frenchman. But as much as France was lewd, he would never do anything without consent. So, he was lonely. England returned to his seat, and glanced back at France.

'What am I going to do?" England found himself wondering. Sure, he and France were enemies, but life wasn't the same without France making lewd suggestions and such. The only problem was, who was perverted enough to be friends with France?

The meeting passed, and England had been deep in thought. He had gone through every country that had attended, and couldn't think of even one that could be a friend to France.

"England, are you alright?" a voice cut through England's thoughts. His head shot up, and he saw Germany there, looking at his curiously.

England gave a nod, and looked around.

"Where is everyone?" England asked. Most of the other countries (including France) had left.

"Veren't you paying attention? The meeting is over", Germany replied simply, "But that doesn't answer my question England. Vat is wrong?"

England paused for a moment. Germany had been an enemy in the past, but for now, everyone was at peace. Besides, if England told him, he might know someone who could put up with France.

"Well..." England started, but he was cut off by an angry yell.

"HEY! Potato bastard!" A very angry Italian stormed up to Germany.

Germany let out an irritated sigh. "Vat is it, Romano?"

The scowl never left Romano's face. "I have a problem, and because it's your fault, YOU need to fix it".

"Vat on earth are you-"

"Shut up and listen!" Romano cut in, "Spain is sick or something. He is mopey, grumpy and hasn't harassed me or bragged about a tomato in days!"

"And how is this my fault?" Germany asked what England was wondering.

"It just is! Now fix it!" said Romano grumpily.

England spoke for the first time since Romano arrived. "Romano, I think you-"

But England was cut off again this time by Romano yelling, "AHH! It's England! Hide me bastard!" and cowering behind Germany. England sighed. It may be Romano they were dealing with, but Romano was still Italian. "Romano, I won't hurt you. We're at peace, remember?"

Said Italian poked his head out from behind Germany. "Oh. Right", was the reply. Romano stepped out of the German's shadow.

Germany looked at Romano and said, "Look, Romano, I don't have time for your nonsense. I have my own issue to deal with".

"Oh? And what would that be?" asked England.

"Mein bruder. He has been... vell, not himself", Germany said frowning, "He's been unusually quiet, and he hasn't used the vord 'awesome' in over a veek". A little smile appeared on Germany's face at his point, as he added, "Considering mein bruder, this is quite concerning".

Something clicked in England's head then. What if these other countries were like France? That is to say, alone? Maybe...

"Hey, Germany, Romano. Would you guys describe the two guys you're talking about as... well... perverted?" England said curiously.

The look England received from the two nations made him re-think what he just said.

"Wait! You don't understand. See... You guys seem to be having the same problem as I'm having with France. And from what I've gathered, he sounds lonely".

Germany nodded, following what England was saying.

"So? Where are you going with this?" asked a frowning Romano.

"Well, if the nations you guys are talking about are anything like France-"

"Spain? Hell, he's as perverted as anyone I know!"

"Bruder? Yes, I suppose he is rather like France..."

England replied, "Then I think I can fix all of our problems at once".

Germany nodded, "If it will help Prussia, I'll do it".

Romano let out a sigh, "Anything to fix that stupid Spain".

England gave a evil little smile. "Alright, here's the plan..."

TO BE CONTINUED