A/N: Lyrics between sections from MGMT's "Kids"
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Before the fall through the well, before the past and future collided and destinies were rewritten, there was a family. A daughter who loves her grandpa and mama, tolerates her baby brother, part of a whole. They catch fireflies in glass jars in the summer, rake leaves to roast potatoes in the fall, every year, all of them together. They are smiling and they are joyful and they are ihappy/i because they deserve to be.
you were a child
crawling on your knees toward it
It's spring and Kagome and Souta are running through the tall grass that covers the back yard, plucking up sticks and throwing them around. One day, Souta finds what looks like a cicada clutching the trunk of a tree. It is big, bigger than his hand; he cries and tugs on Kagome's skirt as if fearing the bug will leap into his face and harm him. So Kagome grabs a good solid stick from the ground, swallows, and sharply jabs the cicada, which falls to the ground, dead.
"'S only the husk," she points out, and Souta angrily says he knew that before kicking the ground and running off, Kagome running after him. They run after each other until they are tired and Mama calls them in to eat ice cream in the shade of the house.
And sometimes Kagome wanders too close to where the well is, the scary hole in the ground that Grandpa tells her not to touch, and it feels like a ghost is clutching at her shirt. It takes her a cup of fizzy soda and a hug from mama to make the strange feelings go away.
making mama so proud
but your voice was too loud
It's summer and Kagome does not have a father any longer. Mama sleeps all day and spends her waking hours weeping in the kitchen; Grandpa has drawn back into his room, taking Papa's childhood things with him as if they will bring his son-in-law back. Souta seems angry at everything, even the earth and sky, takes it out on everyone but himself.
Kagome just feels lost. As if a small hole is in her chest, and she just noticed it was there, cold and unmoving. She sits on Papa's side of the bed, touches his books and tea cups, trying to remember where he went. When she realizes the truth, Papa's never coming back, she cries and cries and cries until Mama tells her to be quiet, and they both cry together in the stillness of a house in mourning. So Grandpa sets up a small shrine in the living room, with a portrait of Papa and a place to light incense and pray.
Kagome doesn't know how to pray; this is the year Grandpa begins her training as a shrine priestess. The first prayer she learns is the prayer for peace --- "Why are there constant troubles in this world? " --- and she says it in front of Papa's picture, knowing that he'll hear her, somehow.
we liked to watch you laughing
you picked the insects off plants
no time to think of consequences
It's fall and Kagome is just entering middle school and the club she wants to join most of all is archery. Souta just wants to play soccer and hang out with his new friends while playing Zelda. Mama tells Kagome she'll have to practice extra hard if she wants to stay in club, and she agrees. So she goes and practices her bow kills with Grandpa, who is a master marksman herself. Grandpa sits with her in the dojo, holds her arms steady as she holds up the bow, places the bulls-eye in her target -- and misses. Second time: misses. Third time: misses.
Grandpa wipes the tears from Kagome's eyes and declares a break. They sit in the dining room and drink barley tea until Kagome stands up and says she's going back to practice and get it right this time. He can't stop her; there's a spark of determination in her eyes that says "no breaks, no nothing". Just like her mother.
In the dojo, she steadies her arms, raises her bow until the bulls-eye target is directly in her line of fire, and releases the string. There's a twang as the arrow flies through the air, then a cry of excitement from Kagome as it hits the target straight in the middle.
Grandpa hugs Kagome fiercely and realizes that maybe there's more to her interest in the archery club than he thought.
control yourself
take only what you need from it
It's winter and Kagome is fourteen years old. She's looking forward to the end of middle school, to entering high school and then --- who knows? She helps Mama bake cookies and Grandpa keep the shrine clean and Souta with his algebra homework. Sometimes, Mama lets her go to the arcade after school with her friends as long as she's done all the chores the day before. Kagome loves hanging out with Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi, even though Hojo sometimes comes around and hangs off them like a stubborn spirit in limbo.
The floor is cold under her feet as she climbs out of bed. It's a little past midnight, and she knows she should be in bed but she can't sleep. Bad dreams; Kagome hasn't had a nightmare since she stopped wetting the bed years ago. This one, however, is different. The more she's awake, the more Kagome forgets, but what she can remember is this: running through a forest, being chased by a dark shape with hot breath; the sound of arrows whizzing past her; in the distance, a woman weeping. They cause her to wake up in the middle of the night, alone and afraid.
Kagome stands in her bedroom at night, not moving, because she doesn't want to wake up Souta or cause Mama and Grandpa to fuss over her. She's fifteen now and almost an adult. She can take care of herself when she has bad dreams. So she crosses over to her window and looks out at the night sky, hoping that some star counting will make her feel better.
Tonight, the moon is full and bright. Looking at it, Kagome feels her spirits lift considerably. There's no one chasing her anymore, no one crying unseen; the fright of a past dream fades away in her mind, replaced by happier things. In the morning, she will race Souta to the bathroom, eat breakfast with the family while Mama puts together her bento box, walk to school with her girl friends while they talk of homework and the cute boys in their classes. But for now, Kagome looks up at the moon, and her heart flutters with something akin to affection.
a family of trees wanting to be haunted
It's spring, again. Kagome is in her room doing homework that's due the next day; Souta is in the den watching cartoons on television; Mama is preparing dinner in the kitchen; Grandpa is sweeping dead leaves off the porch.
And then there is Buyo. Little kitty Buyo, covered in brown splotches like countries on a map, is in the backyard, looking intently at the little wooden house that holds the old well. He sniffs at the air around it before ducking his head and shuffling away. Maybe next time, the cat seems to be thinking, giving one glance back at the house before pawing his way back home.
Kagome is in her room, Souta is in the den, Mama is in the kitchen. Something shifts underneath the well and only Grandpa feels it, like something is there but has not broken through yet. It sweeps through his bones with the familiarity of an ancestor come to visit. Tomorrow, he decides, will be a good time to tell Kagome about the Shikon No Tama. It will be a good day for it, he thinks; it will be the day before her birthday, after all.
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control yourself
take only what you need from it
a family of trees wanting to be haunted