This is for Katie (Oblivionokay), bc I know you love this song ;) hope you all enjoy! x
As I walked through the double doors of the ED, the morning after, with my head pounding and my mouth sticky with dehydration, I couldn't help but feel a smirk tug at the insides of my cheeks, feeling their eyes on me, watching me with curiosity and intrigue. Where did I disappear to last night? Who did I go home with? Could they ever get me to admit it?
I kept my eyes down, walking past the reception desk towards my office as they all eyed up the tell-tale turtleneck I wear beneath my uniform. It was a cold winter, and I would have no trouble in convincing the patients that that was the reason. The staff on the other hand…
Once I was safely inside my office I finally allowed the laugh that had been building up inside my chest at this ridiculous situation to burst out, cupping my hand over my mouth to muffle the noise. Still in semi-disbelief, I let my mind wander over flashing memories of the night before; her lips on mine, the taste of her skin as I grazed my teeth across it, the scent of her perfume that most likely cost more than I made in three months. Butterflies crept up inside me at the thought, my heart hammering and my cheeks flushing, my fingers trembling so much that I could barely flick on the small kettle I keep on top of one of the filing cabinets in my room.
When I finally managed to make myself a warming cup of tea, I flopped down into my chair heavily, giddily, and finally allowed the memories to take hold, the wide grin never leaving my face.
The night before…
Music blared almost deafeningly as we arrived at the swanky new nightclub on the west side of the city which Robyn had chosen as the venue for her birthday. Despite it only being just gone half ten there was a large queue beginning to form outside, and the signs on the doors promoting six shots for four pounds let me know that this was going to be one hell of a night. But my shift the next day started at half eleven, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and enjoy myself.
We got fast tracked entry, because Robyn had pre-booked us as a party, and so it wasn't long before we were inside and the drink was flowing. The club was dark and secretive, anonymous, and through the already growing crowd I could not see one face clearly. Even after an hour, I could feel the alcohol beginning to seep through my veins and make me loose and careless, and I swayed around the dancefloor unreservedly, dancing with whoever I happened to come into contact with, laughing all the time.
It was when I was at the bar for my eighth round of drinks that I spotted her, in a booth in the corner chatting to whom I assumed to be her out-of-work friends. I recognised one of the women - Jac Naylor - but the rest of them were a mystery to me. That familiar sensation of pure, unrestrained hatred bubbled up inside me, twisting my stomach and making my grind my teeth. She infuriated me, enraged me, made me want to scream and shout and tear things apart. I quickly turned my back, for fear that in my drunken state I would shout something insolent at her that I would be unable to take back in the morning.
But then, just as I was going back over to where the rest of the staff were standing, I risked another glance up, only to meet her eyes and notice the flash of recognition, quickly followed by apparent revulsion, and I couldn't tear my eyes from hers. The venom I felt for her creeped into my every pore, and I felt almost shaky with fury at the prospect of her ruining my night. Through this, niggling away at me in the back of my head, my reason was telling me to use this informal setting as a way of building bridges with her. I could go over there, offer to buy her a drink, maybe even apologise if I was drunk enough by then, but this small feeling was quashed by the overwhelming hatred she stirred up in me. It was only when Jac, noticing the fierce expression on Connie's face and following her line of sight to finally see me, stood staring blankly like a deer caught in headlights, that I was snapped out of my trance and almost ran towards my friends. But I still saw the words formed on Jac's lips. "Is that her?"
My mind was racing now. Did she talk about me to her friends? Were they all in on this little vendetta she had against me, and were now enlisted to aid her in making my life hell? Questions buzzed through my brain, so much so that I had to order another round of tequila just to help me forget again.
It was nearing 2AM now, and I was well and truly in the thick of it on the dancefloor. All around me were different gyrating bodies, so tightly packed that I wondered to myself how on earth this passed health and safety regulations. I was more relaxed now as the last time I had gone up to the bar I could see Connie's table entirely vacated and so, as one of her friends was heavily pregnant, I assumed that she, at least, would not be heading up to dance, and therefore thought that they had left for the night.
How wrong I was.
The music slowed, fading into a more trippy, sensuous beat that turned the manic jumping and twirling and pumping into smoother, more intimate rolling of the hips, the soft pressing of bodies together, breaths hot and mingling but lips not quite touching, teasing each other into closing the gap. And then a spotlight flashed on her, for less than a millisecond, and I saw her face, gazing towards me with lust and hunger in her eyes are she swayed to the music. I felt my heart climb up to my throat, throbbing almost painfully as I desperately tried to think of what to do. Did she realise who she was provocatively sliding her hips against? I came to the conclusion probably not, but that didn't stop me from carrying on, only now choosing to up my game, push her as far as I could before she pushed me away, or realised who I was.
But she met every thrust, every grind with equal enthusiasm, her hands gripping my hips almost painfully as she slipped her leg between mine, and ran it tantalisingly along the inside of my thigh. I in return pulled her neck down towards me, brushing my lips ever so gently across the delicate skin of her neck, right up to her hairline where I made sure to tickle her ears with my hot breath, before placing a light kiss on her temple. Her thumbs, whilst her hands remained firmly on my hips, tentatively dug beneath the waistband of my jeans, untucking my top and reaching underneath to touch the cool skin of my sides, tickling me slightly and making me squirm with the sensation. This only served to spur me on further, and I began to place wet, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline, reaching out my tongue every now and then to taste the salty perspiration that lay there.
Through this, I felt a deep vibration which could only have been a moan radiate from her throat, and I found my own knees starting to feel weaker, and suddenly noticed the intense throbbing between my legs that she was causing. My heart hammered quicker as I suddenly realised that, far from it being simply a game, a wind up to see how far I could push my boss into going with who she thought was a random stranger, I was getting off on this. I was aching, wet and ready and it was all for her. It was only now that I realised that this was exactly what I wanted, perhaps what I had wanted all along, and I wanted her more than anything.
My every nerve seemed to come alive and I was aware of every contact between us, and no matter how close we got all I wanted was more. I pressed my breasts against hers as we swayed, releasing a gasp despite the little friction I gained being nowhere near enough, and moved my lips dangerously closer to hers. Dare I take the plunge and close the gap between us? I could smell the sweet scent of wine on her breath, almost taste it, and was dying to know what those perfectly rouged lips felt like when mingled with mine. Our foreheads touched lightly as I worked up the courage; there was no going back after this.
But then suddenly the track changed and so did the mood, and by the time I had steadied myself against the shock she had gone.
After standing gormlessly in the middle of the dancefloor, processing what had just happened, I moved away to try and find the rest of the team. I was completely shellshocked, not to mention the fact that I was now ridiculously aroused and had no one I could take it out on. And even if I did, I doubt that, at that moment, anyone but her would have satisfied me.
I met Lofty, Cal and Max at the bar and joined them for another round of shots. My head was swimming at this point, but I wasn't particularly in the mood to care. My eyes scanned the crowded room almost manically, looking for any sign of my boss but finding none. Had she realised it was me, and rushed off home in disgust? Had she found someone else to press herself devastatingly close to? Was she on her way home with them right now?
Jealousy twisted in my stomach. I wanted her so badly, and the thought of her going home with someone else made me feel sick. I was shocked at myself for this sudden change of feelings, all because we had danced together. The anger which I had been feeling earlier threatened to arise again as I found myself edging closer and closer for blaming her for me feeling this was, although I realised it was ridiculous. She didn't even know that it was me that had been dancing with her, how could she have possibly set out to spite me?
It was about fifteen minutes to three when I decided to brave the no doubt packed to the rafters club toilets. Surprisingly, however, they were fairly quiet; there was a few women washing their hands and touching up their makeup but only one other cubicle was occupied. As I sat down and realised from the sensation of moving whilst still definitely being still that I should probably go home after this. All the excitement had worn me out and I was desperate to relieve the still throbbing arousal which had refused to calm down after the dancing. I wondered how I would manage to look her in the eye tomorrow, especially since we had a meeting scheduled about the staffing levels, knowing how she had made me turned on to the point that I had seriously considered getting myself off here and now. Would she see the hunger in my eyes? And would she react to it? I imagined the flush of her cheeks as she realised, my drunken mind conjuring up an impossible fantasy in which she would lean across, pull me towards her and fuck me right on her desk.
I really needed to get home now.
However, as I unlocked the door and walked round to the sinks to rinse my hands, I stopped dead as I saw her standing there, reapplying her lipstick in the mirror, looking slightly dishevelled with the effort of dancing and utterly irresistible. I swallowed thickly, attempting to calm down my racing heartbeat before taking steady steps forward, trying desperately to appear indifferent. My hands trembled slightly as I ran them under the tap and as I lathered the soap across them I could feel her eyes burning into me, as she made no effort to leave despite having finished touching up her makeup.
I felt self-conscious as I stepped sideways to dry my hands. The hand drier was shrill and powerful, filling my ears with sound almost as loud as the music that blared outside. I let my eyes fall closed momentarily, willing her to leave, whilst simultaneously wanting her so stay. Her presence was electric, and despite being a good couple of metres away from her I could feel the sparks flying between us, making me feel slightly dizzy and elated.
When I turned around, she was still there, gazing at me blearily, leaning casually against the counter whilst surveying me intently. I didn't know where to look, squirming under her gaze, and offered her a slight uncomfortable smile. Her eyes had a slight glint in them, as if in amusement, and I wanted to walk out but I was seemingly glued to the spot. I couldn't even bring myself to blink as our eyes met, absolutely mesmerised by her. When she finally spoke I almost jumped.
"Care to finish where we left off?"
I froze, her words shooting straight to my core as a fresh wave of arousal flooded through me. How could I possibly resist?
"Only fair, I suppose," I replied, attempting to sound nonchalant but failing miserably as my voice trembled and my tongue poked out lightly to wet my lips.
She smiled knowingly. "Yes it is," she said lightly, stopping for a moment before lifting herself from where she was leaning and taking four painfully slow steps towards me. I held my breath as she stood before me, her eyes hooded and her pupils dilated.
I kept my hands by my sides at this point, terrified that if I allowed myself to touch her that I would be unable to stop myself from tearing her clothes off. She leaned forwards towards me slowly, her eyes flickering between my eyes and my lips, and I returned the action, holding out for as long as I could before closing the gap between us. As our lips met for the first time, a deep breath rushed out of me, as though all the tension which had built up over the past few months was draining away, and I felt myself melting into her, my now more confident hands gripping firmly on her hips.
We kissed tentatively at first, almost savoringly, tasting each other for the first time. She tasted like wine and tequila, which paired with the natural taste so unique to her sent me overboard, and soon I was devouring her, pushing my tongue almost forcefully against hers as I pressed myself flush against her. I bit down on her bottom lip hungrily and the moan bordering on a growl which she released in response sent my knees weak, prompting me to slip a leg between hers in order to bring some desperately needed friction to my aching centre.
As I ground down on her thigh I brought my kisses down to her jawline, sucking and licking as I went along, not caring about any marks that I left. I kissed my way down her neck, all the time rolling my hips against hers, before delicately grazing my teeth across her collar. The groan she emitted then made me gasp, and I ached to taste her, at the same time knowing that this was too public a place. As I deliberated on how to overcome this obstacle, home seeming like too far a distance for me to bear, she made the decision for me, taking me by the hand and pulling me into the nearest cubicle.
She locked the door behind us and pressed me against it, her own lips on my neck now, and I bit back the urge to cry out in pleasure, conscious that someone might hear. My hands ran up and down her body, pulling her blouse out from where it was tucked into her high-waisted trousers and feeling the smooth flesh of her ribs for the first time. I groaned into her mouth, my arousal now bordering on painful as I reached upwards to find that she was braless. I grazed my fingers gently over her nipples before deciding that I needed to taste them, hear her whimper as I pulled them between my lips, and lifted her blouse over her head, not stopping to think about whatever might be on the floor as I tossed it aside and leant down to capture her in my mouth.
Her hands ran through my hair frantically, pushing me ever closer against her skin as I nipped and sucked on her right nipple, releasing it every now and then to allow the cool air to hit the moisture there, making her shiver, before recapturing it in my lips. My hands kneaded the supple flesh of her arse as I did this, pulling her against my arousal and grinding myself against her thigh until I decided that I needed more, and moved my hands around the front of her waist to undo the zipper that lay there.
She was panting now, completely and utterly undone by my attentions, and as I ran my fingers across the smooth satin of her underwear beneath her trousers I found that her wet had already soaked right through it. I groaned again, almost gagging to taste it but realised that that might be just a little too complicated to do here. Instead I gently pulled her knickers to one side, dipping one finger inside her teasingly before reaching it up to my lips, and gazing into her dark and heavy eyes as I flicked out my tongue tauntingly to taste her juice on my fingers.
I felt her shiver against me, another deep moan escaping her lips as she watched me, her hips bucking involuntarily. When I was done, I leaned forwards to capture in a tender, sensuous kiss, allowing her to taste herself on my lips as I again dipped my hand beneath her waistband, this time pushing straight into her underwear in order to brush my thumb against her clit. She almost squealed at this, and I grinned against her lips in satisfaction, circling the soft bump as she pushed herself wantonly against my hand. As I began to work up a pace, I began to again place rough, wet kisses behind her ear, along her jaw and down before fastening my lips on the tender skin of the meeting of her collarbone and neck, sucking and nibbling at it as she gasped and moaned. I pushed two fingers into her, curling them back towards myself as I could feel her coming to a fast climax. Her hands were on my shoulders, using them to hold herself up as her legs quivered and her hips bucked. She pushed me back up to her lips, capturing mine in a biting kiss until she finally came with a scream. I continued to pump my fingers in and out of her, relishing the sensation of her muscles contracting around me as I kissed her with all my might, not being able to get enough of her, never wanting this to end.
When her breathing eventually slowed, I carefully removed my fingers from her, my lips still never leaving hers as I reached behind her to wipe them on some toilet roll. She pressed me close against her now, her arms wrapped around me tightly as we kissed savoringly. It felt so good, having her like this, after everything. It felt so right, like this was something we had needed to do always but we hadn't realised it. All that anger, all the hatred, was being cleansed with this, flowing out of us with every second that went by. It was almost emotional, this; it felt redeeming, and all the pent up frustration was finally being dealt with. And I was impossibly happy.
She gave me one last, hard press of her lips before pulling away gently, and instead turning her attentions to my neck. I shivered, suddenly remembering my own arousal, and letting out a deep breath and she kissed her way upwards, her lips ticking my ear.
"Take me home."
It was almost a growl, and it awakened a fresh wave of hunger in me that almost sent my head spinning and my legs ache. All I could do was nod.
We untangled ourselves from one another, and I quickly peeked through a crack in the door to see if there was anyone outside.
"There's a queue!" I whispered to her, lifting a hand to my face to stop myself laughing. "What are we going to do?"
She brushed past me, her face crumpled as she tried not to giggle, and looked through the crack. "Oh my god, Louise is there!" She gasped, turning to look at me. "Do you think anyone heard us?"
"I don't know," I chuckled, tightening my hand over my mouth as I could no longer control the laughter bursting out of me. She tried to shoot me a warning look, but instead a loud snort escaped her and we fell into one another, desperately trying to calm the giggles which had taken hold of us.
"Shh!" I whispered, attempting to sound serious but failing. "Oh my god. We'll never live this down if Louise sees!"
She covered her face with her hands. "I know, I know," she mumbled, shaking her head to herself, the curve of her grin still apparent beneath her palms.
I looked at her contemplatively, then had an idea. "You're ill."
"What?"
"You're ill. I'm looking after you. That'll work!"
"Why am I ill? I can drink you under the table any day," she said pointedly, holding herself just that tiny bit higher in a way that made me chuckle.
"They'd never believe that you would look after me," I replied, looking straight into her eyes.
She frowned. "Why not?" She asked. I raised my eyebrows, and she sighed. "Fine, I'll do it."
I grinned. "Let's test out your acting skills then."
I lifted her arm over my shoulder, holding her up as she slackened slightly in my arms. I risked a glance at her face and saw that she had quickly adopted a spaced out, sluggish look that made me have to fight not to get the giggles again. I took a deep breath, quickly checking that both our buttons were completely done up, and unlocked the door.
"Oh my god, Rita!"
Louise spotted us straight away, and I winced.
"It's okay Louise," I said calmly, trying to appear at straight-faced as possible. "She's just had a bit too much to drink."
"Do you want me to get someone?"
"No, it's fine," I said quickly. Maybe too quickly. "It's fine. I'll take her home."
"Are you sure?" Louise persisted. "I can call Charlie-"
"It's fine, Louise," I said firmly, cutting her off. "She's fine. She just needs to sleep it off. I was on my way home anyway."
She looked like she was going to say something else, but then simply nodded.
I gave her a brief, relieved smile. "Thanks," I said, grinning at her. "Have a nice wee."
Connie snorted in my arms and I again struggled to stop myself from collapsing in a giddy fit, so quickly I rushed out of the toilets and out of the club.
We quickly made our way to the nearest taxi rank, linking arms to help us steady ourselves as we tottered along in our stilettos, practically doubled over laughing. She had the most amazing laugh and I was mesmerised by it. It wasn't long before we were in the taxi and on our way back to my place.
My arousal was burning, and this only got worse the longer our journey went on. She leant back against the seat heavily, her cheek resting on the rough fabric as she gazed at me in the dim light, her eyes undressing me there and then. I returned this, feeling heat rising up to my cheeks as I ached to touch her, but knew that this wasn't the place. She poked her tongue out to wet her lips and I let out a deep, shaky breath, fighting with all my strength the urge to pull her to me.
When the taxi finally pulled up outside I tossed a twenty-pound note at him, in too much of a rush to care about getting my change. I pulled her along by the hand up the path fumbling in my bag for my keys.
As I stopped to unlock the door, I felt her lips already on the back of my neck and I shivered, my fingers trembling as I desperately fumbled with the lock.
We were barely inside when I felt her lips on mine, already pushing my jacket over my shoulders and tossing it to the ground. I kicked the door shut behind me, reaching up to unbutton her blouse. She lifted my top over my head, unfastening my bra almost at the same time and I made a mental note to ask her if she had done this before, since she seemed to be such an expert and removing a woman's clothes.
Now both fully stripped to the waist, I dragged her upstairs with me, filled with desperate need to fuck her senseless.
And that, I definitely did.
"RTC. ETA seven minutes. One paediatric trauma."
I was snapped out of my memory by Lofty poking his head around my office door. I nodded at him blearily.
"I'll be there," I replied, putting down my now cold, barely touched tea on my desk before dragging my hands tiredly over my face. I smiled as I realised that it would most likely be Connie in resus with me, and I bit my lip as the memory of last night's screams filled my ears. She always walked around so composed, so supercilious, and now I had seen her completely undone and exposed it filled me with an odd sense of triumph. I had been the one to make her weak, begging for me as I poked my tongue torturously slow in and out of her.
I quickly stood up, wincing slightly at the pain in my head and making my way to the main entrance, patting my hair into place as I went. I arrived and Robyn was already stood there waiting, along with Zoe and one of the HCAs.
"Where did you disappear off to last night?" Robyn asked immediately, her eyes flickering down to my turtleneck pointedly.
"I think I must have peaked too soon," I attempted, avoiding her eyes. "I felt a bit unwell so I went off home."
"Yeah, right!" She laughed. "Why are you wearing that then?"
"I think I'm getting flu," I said flatly, hoping she would see I wasn't in the mood and drop the conversation. She didn't.
"No chance," she persisted. "Come on, tell us! Was he hot? Do I know him?"
"No, Robyn," I replied, looking up at Zoe for help out of this conversation, but she simply smirked at me knowingly. "You do not know him, because he doesn't exist. Can we drop it now?"
"Alright," she grinned. "Don't think I won't be continuing this later though."
I sighed, looking at my watch. The first casualty should be here any moment. I was going to take the driver, since his were the most life-threatening injuries and we had a lot of agency nurses on today. Hopefully, Robyn would be taking a different one.
"Hi, Rita!" My blood went cold as I heard Louise's voice as she walked past us towards the lift. "Did you and Mrs Beauchamp get home alright last night?"
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and resisting the urge to scream as I felt both Zoe and Robyn's eyes fall on me in shock.
"Yes, Louise," I said testily. "We got home fine, thank you."
As she disappeared into the lift, I felt like I could almost die of embarrassment.
"Oh my god!" Robyn gasped excitedly, and I knew it would be around the whole hospital within thirty minutes.
"It's not what it seems," I tried to defend myself, but it was pointless. She knew I was lying.
I was relieved of the situation by Iain pushing the first patient - my patient - through the double doors and into resus. Thankfully, Connie had taken the paediatric trauma, and so I was spared the mortification of having Robyn watching us like a hawk from the other side of the room as we worked. The man had fractured both femurs, and had a pneumothorax in desperate need of draining. Luckily, this was enough to occupy me for most of the rest of the shift.
Until the rota meeting, of course. My stomach twisted as I realised it was only half an hour until I was due in her office. How would she act? This morning she had disappeared by the time I had woken up, so I hadn't had chance to speak to her yet about last night, but I had awoken to a large glass of iced water and two paracetamol on my bedside table, along with a note which read: 'Got an early meeting. Hope you're not too hung over! x'
I didn't have the energy or the concentration to analyse it at the time, but now it was buzzing round my head like a wasp on speed. What was the kiss for? Were we friends now? Lovers? What was she expecting to happen? What was I expecting to happen?
As I knocked on her office door I held my breath, my stomach doing somersaults and my head swimming.
"Come in," she called. That voice…
I opened the door and stepped inside, clicking it shut behind me. The air felt thick as I sat down, unable to think of any words to say. She was tapping away at her computer and I waited patiently, fiddling with the pieces of paper in my lap.
"So," she began, looking at me finally. "Nursing rotas."
I glanced up to meet her eyes, but they were unreadable. I tossed the draft schedules on the desk.
"Jacob is on holiday next week," I said as she began sifting through them. "Charlie and Lofty are going to take a couple of his shifts, and I've got agency to cover the rest."
She nodded, her eyes never leaving the crisp white papers. "Okay," she said in agreement. "I think we might need a couple more people on Sunday afternoon though. Holby City are playing Millwall then so I expect we'll be a bit busier than normal. Especially if we lose."
I smiled briefly. "Yes," I agreed. "I'll put Robyn on as well then, and a couple more HCAs."
"Sounds good," she replied, still staring at the rotas. I held my breath.
"Robyn knows," I said tentatively. She looked up.
"What?"
"Louise told her," I explained, watching her for a reaction. She sat back in her chair.
"Have you admitted it?" She asked slowly, looking at me penetratingly. I swallowed.
"No, I haven't."
"Good," she smiled. "She's got no back up then. Louise only saw us leaving because I was unwell. I'm sure you can work your way around that one." She raised her eyebrows at me, her eyes twinkling in the dim light.
"Of course," I replied, relaxing somewhat. "I would never tell them anything about… you know."
She smirked at me. "I have full faith in your discretion."
"Good, it'll be our secret then," I replied softly, and we both remained in silence for a few moment, scanning each other's eyes as we searched for what to say next. I wanted to know what last night had meant, what her feelings about it were. Did she want to do it again? I certainly did, although I would never have admitted it.
"Connie," Charlie burst open the door, making me jump slightly. "Henrik's on line one. He says it's urgent."
"Okay," she smiled and nodded at him, and he left. She looked back at me. "Sorry. Those rotas look fine. If you'll excuse me…"
"Yes," I said hastily, standing up quickly and grabbing my rotas off the desk as she reached for the phone on her desk. "I'll get them sent out tomorrow morning."
"Thanks," she nodded at me, and I rushed towards the door. I was just about to pull it closed behind me when I heard her voice.
"Oh, and Rita?" She called. I poked my head back around the door. "Are you on a late or a twilight?"
"Late," I replied, frowning at her. She smirked at me, her eyes dark and sparkling.
"I get off around seven," she said steadily. "I'll be waiting."
I blinked in confusion for a moment as she went back to her phone call, then grinned.
What a beautiful secret this would be.
Please review and let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed :)x