Stay With Me
~Chapter One – For My Sake~
~~~*~~~
"Nii-san!"
"Yes, Otouto?"
"Come play with me? Please?"
"I have a mission to attend to,"
A jab in the forehead…
"Maybe next time, okay?"
"..You always say that.."
Broken promises… but I knew you really loved me.
"I know, but I promise, okay? We'll play when I get back."
I don't want you to go. You might not come back.
"Okay…"
Even if you do come back, you'll just ignore me, anyways.
"I'll be seeing you."
"Be safe, Nii-san…"
But I still love you most.
XXX
A sigh escaped my frozen lips, and I vaguely noticed the steam that rose from my breath. It was a cold winter morning, Mid-December, and the streets were bustling with crowds of eager civilians.
Maybe it would snow again today, too. It'd been a long time since we'd had so much snowfall here in Konoha.
I remembered when we used to run outside and play in this sort of weather. It's melancholy to me now – but back then it was my favourite thing in the world; when he and I would spend all day outside together.
Just the two of us.
As I sat on the roof of the apartment in which I lived, I watched swarms of people move about the streets and clutter together, a sense of cheer and anticipation drifting in the air.
My skin was pale, and bitterly cold. I ignored it; I hadn't had a winter coat in almost four years. There was no need to waste money on one now, winter was never usually this cold, and my thick hooded sweater more than sufficed.
Sitting still, and in deep silence eventually gets to everyone. With that thought in mind, I stood, and jumped down into the street among the hordes of people. Though I tried and avoid the larger crowds, the sudden frenzy of voices served its purpose in distracting me momentarily from my thoughts.
Five years. It was more than five years ago, I returned home from the academy to find my home in ruin and cold slaughter.
My world had shattered that day. Everything I was, everything I wanted to be, had been murdered along with my family.
And all that I am now, is nothing but the broken pieces… that were left behind.
XXX
"Are you cold, Sasuke?"
The morning air bit at my skin. Frost lined the edges of the outside of all the windows; it was a cold winter morning. I nodded meekly.
"Here, wear this so you don't get sick. It's cold today."
He draped the heavy blanket over my shoulders as I nudged my head further into his chest, relishing in the comforting moment.
"I don't have any missions today. I said next time I'd play with you, right?"
I couldn't help the bright smile that spread across my face, excitement building up.
"I want to make a snow-angel with you, Nii-san."
XXX
The snow that was piling up was steadily becoming deeper. I took note of how much had fallen since yesterday as my feet trampled it down, leaving prints behind me with each step.
There were no missions today, nor group training taking place. It's a pretty safe bet to say Naruto is either practicing on his own or at the Ramen shop. Probably both. If Kakashi wasn't on some important Jounin mission then he was training or reading his stupid orange book. Sakura would probably be doing many pointless things of no interest, as usual.
Another sigh escaped me as boredom fully set it. I lost almost complete awareness of where I was going until a familiar sign caught my eye.
'Uchiha Complex'
Glancing at the sign and then the gates of the complex, I silently cursed myself for being careless and letting my feet take me wherever they wanted.
A quick 'hello' couldn't hurt.
I didn't bother to stop at my old house or any of the other buildings as I made my way through the dull, lifeless streets. The only place that was worth visiting was in the back, away from the broken homes and unwanted houses.
The graveyard.
I slowly walked up and down the aisles of graves, brushing off the pile of snow upon each stone. As I made my way up and down the rows of dozens of graves, I temporarily let my guard down like I did every time I came here.
My gloved hands brush against the smooth, hard surface of each grave that I swept, and I took little pride in noticing that I could almost name every person buried here. Almost.
And when I at last approached the graves of my Mother and Father I stopped, and knelt down to be eye level with the names engraved on the stones.
"Hey Mom, Dad. I came to see you…"
I whispered it softly, and to myself. I didn't care if they heard it or not. It's comforting for me, at the least.
Closing my eyes and bowing my head, I think to myself the same prayer and vow I always do, relieving a bit of my anxiety.
And as usual, I let myself wander back to the vault in which I store all my memories, and the first memories I dig out involve me, and my older brother.
XXX
"Itachi, come over here. I need to speak with you,"
Our father hollered from the front entrance, interrupting Itachi and I as we were about to begin our snow-angel.
"Okay," Itachi called back, standing up.
"I'll be right back, okay? Start without me and we'll finish it together when I come back."
I wanted to protest as Itachi walked away, but I kept silent knowing that it was the more mature thing to do.
After waiting for a few minutes, Itachi finally came back outside, an apparent frown etched upon his features.
Of course, I hadn't moved since he left. I wanted to make this snow-angel with Itachi entirely – so that it would be our creation.
"Sasuke…"
I looked up at him slightly surprised. He hardly ever called me by my name – and he sounded strange when he said it, too.
He closed his eyes and sighed, before sitting down in the cold snow next to me and looking me in the eyes,
"Father insists that I go on a mission with him. He wants us to leave immediately."
My heart sank.
What point is there in believing Itachi? I knew he'd never keep his promise.
Looking down at the ground, I knew my face was set in a deep scowl, my eyes narrowing into a glare that looked more sad than angry.
"I'm sorry, Otouto. We can play later. I won't be gone long."
Standing up, I looked Itachi in the eyes as my glare deepened.
"Just forget it, Itachi! Why don't you ever pay any attention to me?!"
I turned and ran as fast as I could, considering the heavy snow clinging to me and the weight of my heavy, damp clothes.
Screw maturity.
XXX
Standing up with a sigh, I began to make my way back to the complex.
I didn't want to be here any longer.
But a sudden sound stopped me – a rustling, and a twig snapping.
As I came to a halt, I scanned the area for the source, my eyes darting around suspiciously.
Nobody around.
The graveyard is surrounded by a thicket of trees, and only one path leading to and away from it that takes you back to the complex.
But someone was here. I could feel it.
My eyes gazed around me once more, before I decided to shrug it off and keep going. Whoever they were, they wouldn't be much of a threat now that my guard was up.
Entering the mouth of the long, thin trail, I grew slightly more anxious with each passing second. I could feel eyes on me, and I knew that there's someone following me. I casually stuck my hands into my pockets, my right hand clutching the cold, smooth metal of my kunai's hilt.
A gust of wind brushed past me somewhat forcefully, causing my body to shiver and tense. I looked up at the dark, looming clouds overhead that had started to send drops of white, frozen water softly spiraling down.
Standing still for moment, I kept my eyes glued to the flakes that were slowly heading down towards me. The cold, ironic burn they caused on my skin as they land and melt on my cheeks and face was surreal, yet somewhat expected.
XXX
I come to a halt soon after my mad dash. I'm far from home now. Far from Itachi. It's always like this! He never keeps his promises… every time he says we'll spend time together, something else comes up and wrecks it!
And every time he promises me… I believe him.
Panting heavily from my run, I plopped down in the snow with my back against a tree. I was in the small forest surrounding the Uchiha Compound, but no one could find me here. Not that anyone's going to come looking.
The snow fell gently; the soft, white drops clutched to my frozen cheeks and melted, leaving a light burning sensation behind. I loved the snow… it was always so comforting - so special, yet so ordinary…
I closed my eyes and rested the back of my head against the tree. It was getting dark now – the sky was covered in heavy, black clouds that veiled the stars, making it feel later in the day than it was.
How many minutes had passed before I opened my eyes again, only to find my body completely enclosed in snow?
I really didn't want to run from Nii-san, but… it seemed that he could never find any time for me anymore.
Was I… becoming a hindrance…?
Tears welled and pooled at the corners of my eyes, so I closed them to prevent the drops from falling.
As quickly as they had closed, they snapped open at the sound of a familiar voice calling my name.
"Sasuke,"
I looked up and into my brother's eyes, unable to hold back the tears any longer.
"Let's go."
XXX
Making my way briskly through the complex, my anxiety level was sharply rising. The sense of being followed lingered heavily around me, causing my composure to falter slightly as I continued to walk down the empty streets.
Knowing that the sooner I could get home the safer I'd be, I made my way towards the edge of the compound; where the forest was.
I'd make my way through the forest then over the estate wall – from there, it was only a few blocks back to my apartment.
Nostalgia laid a heavy burden on my mind as I ventured through the small woods. Unable to suppress my wandering mind, I became lost in my thoughts once again, until I came to a sudden halt, realizing that this was the exact place from my forceful memories.
The same snow-covered Earth, the same dark sky, the same soft snowflakes floating to their deaths. The same tree.
The same place.
Heading towards the tree, I masked myself in the memories that I had banished from my mind so many years ago.
And as I sat in the cold snow, my back pressed to the slowly freezing bark and my head resting against it, I felt ambiguous.
Neither complete, nor lacking completion. Just… alone.
Closing my eyes, a small, sad smile spread across my frozen lips - daring God to strike me now with his wrath and end this pathetic attempt of mine at living.
But the same sound as before again snapped me out of my makeshift bliss.
A twig was once again snapped to alert me. How many innocent pieces of vegetation was this guy going to mutilate?
My eyes remained closed, even when I heard footsteps approach from in front of me. Even when my mind screamed for me to throw the kunai that I was still tightly grasping, and protect myself. To save myself.
No, I didn't open them. Not until I heard his voice, saying my name. Saying it to me; for me, for my sake.
"Sasuke,"
My eyes opened then, quite shocked. Surprised; startled, even afraid. I gaped at him, standing in front of me, draped in a silken robe of black adorned with red clouds; his hair tied back, half of his face hidden from me. His expression blank – his eyes burning into my head like a bullet.
And all I could do was stare, horrified, stricken with grief and loneliness. Hating my mind for playing such a harsh trick on me – hating all the Gods in the world for their cruelty, hating my brother with all the power I could muster.
Refusing to believe that he was really standing before me now. Denying that he could have called my name like he used to – rejecting the possibility of this actually happening.
He would never have come back for me.
But he smiled a small smile; I could tell from the way his eyes softened. He looked at me thoughtfully, either uncaring or unaware of how he was ripping apart the fabrics of my mind, pushing me further into insanity, making me doubt the last five years of my life.
Making me doubt my own existence.
I looked up at him, scared, hurt, angry, confused… it seemed all my emotions were swelling together like a whirlwind inside my head, making it spin and fill me with a sense of dizziness.
"Let's go."
XXX
"What about your mission?"
I asked, somewhat bitterly, not yet moving from my spot in the snow.
He sighed quietly and knelt down to be eye level with me, making sure I was looking at him and paying attention.
"I refused Father, so I could come find you."
My eyes widened, but not from happiness or shock. Brother gave up an important mission for me? Because I had thrown a tantrum?
Because I had… burdened him again…?
I looked down, anything to hide my face from him. I couldn't face him now – not after what I did.
"I- I'm sorry, Nii-san…"
It was a whisper, and it was followed by cold tears cascading down my cheeks, chilling my skin as the cool wind whipped at them.
Itachi's expression softened, his smile holding a sense of concern. He placed his hand atop my head, gently ruffling my hair. I brought my hands up to wipe at my eyes with my coat sleeves, as Itachi scooped me into his arms and stood, cradling my frozen, drenched and trembling body against himself; his heat instantly melting away my heart's pain, and drying my tears.
I clutched helplessly to my brother's coat, grasping onto him for dear life. I didn't want him to leave, to go anywhere, or to ever leave my side.
"Don't cry, Sasuke. It's alright,"
"B-but…"
He brought his hand up to rest against my cheek, and angled my head so I was looking at him.
He smiled then, and leaned in, his warm, soft lips touching gently to my freezing forehead.
I blushed slightly at the small contact, embarrassed and a little confused.
He whispered, with that same warm smile still on his face,
"It's alright, Otouto. I forgive you."
And I found myself smiling along with him, reveling in this moment, cherishing the Angel that was my brother.
Praying that nothing would ever interrupt us, he carried me home.
And I couldn't help but feel sleep tug at my eyelids, as the night had fully begun now, and I was warm and safe, in my brother's arms.
Leaning up briefly to return Itachi's kiss, I shyly pressed my lips to his cheek, and whispered happily before falling asleep,
"I love you, Nii-san."