AUTHOR NOTES: Yeah, I should be working on Blood Types right now, but I can't. Writer's block and personal issues. So I wrote this. It's more me and less Near, but I essentially melted myself with Near and twisted the situation to fit him and Matt. There's a lot of fiction and fact weaved into this. It's kind of a raw piece for me (for lack of better wording). But it's pretty hard to figure out what's "me" and what's "Near" because I tried to keep it as in character as I could. The song is weaved in there because I've had it on repeat for an hour. I don't know why, it's just a calming song.
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Near or Matt. The song is "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. The only thing I 'own' is a few pieces of the story.
And I'd give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.
I wonder what goes through your mind when you're not playing video games. When those hopeful, emerald eyes glance out the window, looking past the street and out into the world. I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
Or do you still think about him? The accursed blond that walked out because he couldn't swallow his pride long enough to help benefit the world. No, he was simply too narrow-minded, too prideful, to look at the bigger picture. It was just a race to him to see who could be number one. Damn the rest of the world, and damn doing it for the greater good. But of course, he did hold your heart for quite a long time.
Perhaps you're hoping he'll come back. He probably won't. And if he does, we both know it'll be nothing but trouble.
And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.
But even if you're not thinking about him, that certainly doesn't mean you're thinking of me. And if you are, is it good things? Are you thinking about all the times we've shared, the times that if he were still here, he'd certainly kill us for? Those moments, they still bring a smile to my face. Even if it's hard to believe that I smile, I do. And it's because of you. You make me smile.
Like the time, you decided we had spent too much time pent up inside our rooms, and you decided that we needed to go out. How the hell did we end up where we did? You and your wandering around, it certainly gave us a night to remember.
And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.
I wonder what you're thinking about right now. About twenty minutes after my long winded confession. I certainly didn't know I could talk so much. Apparently, I'm not as quiet as I lead people to think I am. But if you want to know something, I meant every word. I do like you, a lot. Probably more than I should. And I guess that caught you off guard.
But you confessing to me that you did indeed like me too made me smile. But you didn't want to be together, least not in that sense. You valued our friendship, and don't get me wrong, I understand that. Trust me I do. Way more than you possibly know. I value it too, more than anything in this damned orphanage.
And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
I guess I'm still hoping we could be more than just friends. At least give it a try, because, hell, you never know what it could be. After all, the greatest detectives need somebody at their side.
But then you said that you didn't want to be more because you were afraid of losing me. And I understand that as well. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. It makes complete sense. The logical part of my mind is fully content. It pieced together everything, made sense of it and moved on. It's the emotional part of my mind that's unhappy. I never really cared about anybody, you know that. But you changed that for me. You made me care.
And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
And just know, whichever way this goes, I do love you as a friend. And I care about you more than you'll ever realize. And I'm glad that I met you, and I'm glad that you're my friend. And I'm happy to know that you like me too. And you'll never lose me, I'll make sure of it.
And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
I just want you to know who I am.
More Author Notes: I'll update Blood Types ASAP.