fI need to tell you this, I need to get this off my chest. Because to be honest it has been killing me since the moment we met. I need to tell you how I feel, and you need to know what you have done to me. And I am not talking about spells or anything of that kind, because spells are insignificant to this. Even though these are the hardest words for me to say, they are the only ones that matter. I need to know, why don't you love me?
From the second we met it was clear, the roles were displayed and neither you or me was able to change it. My father always told me about the great Harry Potter, the wizard who lived. Of course he never put it that way. He never called you great, not even with sarcasm in his voice. And quite frankly he never called you Harry. But he did told me things about you. The way you lived and our "lord" disappeared. The way he hated you with every fibre in his body. That is what he taught me. At least, that is what he thought he taught me. I was fascinated with you, I was always fascinated with you. The way didn't die when that curse hit you, the way you were famous. I had to get to know you, I had to be with you, one way or another. But I guess my education got the best of me. I guess you saw too much of my father in me. I guess, from that moment on, we would never be.
But then on our way to Hogwarts, I just had to try again, how could I not. So I offered you my hand, I offered you my hand in friendship, in companionship and in so much more. However you didn't forget, you were already all of the above with the Weasel, you were out of my reach. You declined my offer and destroyed all that I had been dreaming of since the moment my father had spoken the words: "bloody Potter". And so the years began.
Every years I watched you in awe, I watched as you somehow managed to fight your way through school, puberty, friends and a sworn enemy. No I did not mean myself, because even though I acted like your enemy I never was, no I was talking about …you know who. The first year I never saw you enter the great hall without a smile on your face. You were always goofing around with your friends, always enjoying yourself. Just because it was the best time of your life. Until of course you found out that … you know who… wasn't really dead and he was coming back and you had to stop him. Which you did, mighty may I add. After that you changed a little, no longer unworried about things, no longer innocent. But still, always smiling.
Then second year came around, from the beginning I could tell that you couldn't be happier to be back, back to the place you've come to love. You never looked so happy as those first few days, to see your friends again, to have your life back. After that you discovered that…you know who… was once again not letting you be happy and leave you alone. He was once again taunting you in a way. You had to fight again, fight for all you knew, all you thought was right. Which you did, mighty may I add. After that you changed a little, no longer always smiling, no longer trusting until you'd been given a reason not to trust. But still, always smiling.
Third year came with a lot of revelations for you. You found out what really happened to your parents (or at least more then you thought you knew) you found family and you found an enemy. You had to fight the past that was pushing into your present and on to your future. Your friends let you go a little bit for the first time, they knew that unlike the other things you had faced that this was something that was personal, that they couldn't be a part of. You had to fight through a lot of personal stuff. Which you did, mighty may I add. After that you changed a little, no longer trusting what you thought you knew, no longer sharing everything just because somebody asked. But still, always smiling.
Fourth year was brutal on you, you had to do so much things you didn't want to do. You had to fight a fight you didn't want to, and I am not just talking about the tournament. Your best friend temporarily left you in one of the hardest times in your life. You learned a lot that year, because you had to do a lot on your own, and even though you almost lost a friend, you gained a few new ones. The end of that year was specifically hard, you lost someone close to you (literally)and you enemy rose from the dead (again literally).But you had to fight a hard fight. Which you did, mighty may I add. After that you changed a little, no longer confident that nothing could come between friendship, no longer believing you're safe. But still, that smile.
Then the fifth year, you lost the one person you could trust fully, that would stand behind you no matter what. You lost the one person you would do anything for to protect. The one person, who could bring you closer to your parents. The one, and he slipped through your fingers. And the miracle happened again, while an other died, you somehow lived. I could tell it was hard for you. I could tell you were hurting. But you wished I couldn't see, you tried to hide it, you tried well. You fought an inner battle, but you lost. I could see through you. Not only did you lose faith, you also lost that beautiful smile.
Your last year at Hogwarts was brutal as well. I realized that you needed something someone to hang on to. I really thought I was that person. So I started the year well, I thought it was well. I went up to the Gryffindor table and I apologized to you, in front of everybody. I said I was sorry for everything that happened, and everything that you had to endure, whether that came from me, my father or the one that my father serves. I told you that I would do my utter best to support you, help you no matter what. You said thank you. And I guess you meant it, however it ostracised me with Slytherin which was to be expected. That year I finally did what I couldn't do those years before, I became your friend. I told you what I was meant to do, and we found a way to stop it. To bad we couldn't foresee Dumbledore's illness. You lost your mentor that year. I could tell you started to put screens up around you. You didn't smile anymore. You didn't tell me anything, you didn't tell the Weasel or the…Hermione anything.
Last year, you did it. Or actually we did it. We defeated him. We destroyed his horcruxes we found a way to get people on our side. And then finally it was time to fight the battle. And we did it, we killed him. Okay granted it was a little more your work then mine. But still, I was there by your side the entire way, I was there when the fight began. And I was there fighting him and his followers along side of you. However when you defeated him, I didn't see anything in your eyes. No relief, no pain no…no nothing.
We kept in touch after Hogwarts, I guess you decided that I was the only one you could ever be honest with. Last week I did what I wanted to do for so long. You came over looking depressed like you did the last few years. When I told you I loved you, you said you didn't understand. I told you that I had loved you for so long now, that all I could do was think about you. And find ways to make you happy, and that I wanted to do was be with you. You told me that you didn't understand love, that you didn't know the feeling. That love was, a trick of the mind, not real. And that you were one of the people who were better off, not being tricked by the mind. I felt so sad then, I felt defeated and down. And I did the one thing I would regret for the rest of my life. I kicked you out, and after you tried to make contact for the thousandth time, I didn't react. I didn't react to a single one of your cries for my attention.
Three days ago I went to you funeral. You had killed yourself after leaving a note simply reading: Sorry, don't mourn, I hated spending my life mourning. Don't hate life. I got a personal card from you, reading:
Dear blondie,
After all of the things that were expected of me, after all of the people I knew, loved and lost. After all of that, I never expected to lose you. Now that I have hurt you too somehow, lost you too somehow. I couldn't anymore. I just want you to know that, the first year at Hogwarts I wished we could be friends…and if you had told me that you loved me then, maybe I would have been able to love you back. But you have to realize that I was to far gone, I had lost to much. Right now, as I hope to take my last breath I am finally happy. And I just want to let you know you were great, and you are in no way to blame for the way it ends with me.
Writing this with a smile,
Messy Hair (for my name you never said to me)
So it took me a few days before I could get out of the house again. But I had to, because I received a card, your funeral card. I went, I gave my condolences to Hermione and Ron (yes I know their names) and all of your friends that survived the war. I didn't once look at the way you lied in your casket, I walked out, turned to the sky (because you're defiantly in heaven) and said: "I love you"
Today I am sitting in your house, at least it is still your house. In a few days I am sure it will be sold. But right now I am sitting on your sofa, writing this. Doubting to put the phrase: 'to whom it may concern' at top or not. I think I landed on not. You left me a note, now I am leaving you one. Even though you will never be able to read it. I had to tell you, maybe not face to face, because you never gave me a chance. But I had to tell you, how I felt. Even though after writing this, I no longer need to know why you couldn't love me. Because it is no longer relevant. If someone up there likes me, I will see you soon. If I have dug my own grave, I will be thinking about you down there. All I need you to know is that I am writing this with a smile on my face, because it will soon be over. How you have faced years of living knowing that the ones you love are dead I will never know. All I know is one week was enough for me. Harry, I love you, I have always loved you, and tonight is my Romeo and Julio moment. You're dead, I don't want to live anymore.
With a smile on my face … Harry, I love you.
--
Draco Lucius Malfoy was found in Harry Potter's apartment on 7th of May. He had killed himself in the exact same position in the exact same way as Harry Potter did a week ago. The only thing of his possessions that was found was a letter. It went as followed:
I need to tell you this, I need to get this off my chest. Because to be honest it has been killing me since the moment we met…
--
As the years passed by, all that remained of the two were the many stories in the history books and two head stones standing in an empty field. Simply reading.
Draco Lucius Malfoy, Harry James Potter
Beloved son, wonderful friend, loyal acquaintance. Hero, the boy who lived.
Great Person. Great Person.
--
Author's note: I AM SOOOOOO SORRY I killed them both, but I really needed to write a sad story, I hope you still enjoyed it!!