Sewerage Situations.

A/N: I actually have a confession to make, I have had this random piece of 'story' sitting on my laptop for a while. I've just been too lazy to upload it. I got my prompt from a first line challenge forum, I just don't remember where exactly. You have been warned its unbeta'd & slightly random piece of work I wrote at some ungodly hour of the night. Enjoy

SGASGA

Rock, paper, scissors was a hard game. Don't let the simplicity of the name fool you people. It seriously is a hard game. It is also the reason; I drew the short straw, so to speak, and ended up crawling up the sewer line. Trust me, it's not fun; especially when someone decides to use the toilet, despite the massive out of order sign. Honestly don't people read anymore?

"Yuck!"

The radio crackled to life as Major Lorne commented, "At least they remembered to flush." Who I might add was stifling a laugh and was the reason I am in this mess in the first place.

"Did I say that out loud? I meant to say I'm coming to kill you when I get out of here." Laughter followed my comment. "And stop laughing!"

"Yes Ma'am," came the reply, followed by more non-existent laughter. I swear I am dealing with three year olds some days.

"Hunt, are you there yet?" McKay and his annoying I-am-smarter-than-you-and-I-know-it voice broke into my thought. Scratch that part about some days, make it most.

"Almost," was the only answer I gave as I continue to squeeze up the pipe, towards the problem area. How in the Pegasus Galaxy this happened I will never know. Maybe I should start at the beginning. McKay has somehow managed to clog up the sewerage system and guess who was walking past at that moment. That's right, me. Evelyn Hunt, Australian Ambassador and believe me this was not in my job description nor am I paid enough for it. I need to get a new job.

"Ew," That's just gross, I'm not even going into details. It's just horrific what you find in a sewerage pipe, I tell you I have lost my appetite for the next day at least. Maybe more.

"Speaking out loud again?" Lorne commented from his nice dry, clean position a couple floors below me. So not fair!

"What's taking so long," interrupted the impatient voice of you guessed it Rodney McKay.

"Wait, I think I see something …" Yuck what is that. Clawing my way towards the disgusting blockage, all I could think of was: this is never going to come out my hair! Lame I know, but I really don't feel like walking around smelling like a loo and I like my hair the length it is.

"What is that?" I exclaimed out loud, upon reaching my target. I somehow managed to balance & started to pull at the mystery object that had caused me to spend my morning crawling through the sewerage lines of Atlantis. I can honestly say that at that point in time I was so glad I didn't have long times. It wouldn't be pretty. Tugging at the object more, its slowly became lose.

"It's coming loose," I said out loud, more for McKay and Lorne's benefit than my own, "I think."

One last heave and the mysterious article came loose. Unfortunately for me, there was also a load of crap – literally- clogged behind that fell direct onto me.

Spitting I exclaimed, "Disgusting! That is repulsive!" Taking a look at the object that had cause me so much grief, I noticed one tiny detail. "It's a teddy bear?"

Lorne snorted, and for once I agreed. "A bear, as in a soft toy teddy bear?"

"Don't know if the soft part comes into play here, but it is definitely a teddy bear," I replied to an amused and shocked Major below. I definitely wasn't expecting what happened next.

"Matilda!" exclaimed McKay. You have got to be kidding. McKay has a teddy bear.

"Matilda?" questioned Lorne only to go unanswered. Deciding I had had enough, I slid back down the shute to where I had entered to find a slightly amused Major and a clucking Doctor.

"You need a shower Evie," a smug Lorne commented as he helped me out of the pipes. Glaring at him, I headed directly for that nice hot shower. He however wasn't going to find that out. I learnt a very valuable lesson that day. USAF Officers cheat at Rock, Paper Scissors.