"You look like shit," Louis mused, watching as Zayn shuffled into the kitchen, midnight blue tie slightly crooked against his shirt.
"And you look surprisingly chipper for somebody about to spend the day listening to people moan."
"Zayn," Louis sighed, placing the near drained mug of tea to the side. "What have I told you about talking about my patients with respect? They have issues they feel they need to resolve and by coming to see me-"
"Cut the bullshit, Lou. They moan about their clean cut lives and flashy cars and perfect children and faithful partners and pick at the smallest thread to unravel a problem that doesn't even exist," the Bradford man growled, carelessly smothering a piece of toast with butter.
"Okay, maybe they do but, my sweet friend, it pays the bills!"
"Yeah, yeah," the younger sighed. "What time do you think you'll be home tonight? School lets out a little earlier today, so I was hoping we could finally go see a movie and do something fun?"
"We have fun, what are you talking about?" Louis inquired blindly, sorting through a small stack of papers he didn't quite understand.
"Oh yes, sitting home every night with a box of take out watching Toddlers and Tiaras is the most fun I've ever had!"
"Hey!" Louis croaked, pointing an accusing finger to the shorter male. "You love that show, don't blame me for that! Anyway, my last patient should finish around 3, so I'll meet you back here and we can take your car to the cinema, saaay sixish?"
"It's a date!" Zayn cheered, slipping his leather jacket over his shirt and pressing a mock kiss to Louis' cheek. "Have a lovely day, sweetcheecks!"
"You too, buttercup!"
The busy London streets didn't cause Louis much trouble; in fact, it was something he rather enjoyed. Despite the fact the buzz drowned out the music blasting into his ears, he enjoyed analysing flustered faces and creating a scenario in his head for why they were like that.
It was quite obvious that Louis adored his job. His mother and father had insisted Louis train in another field, expressing their thoughts on how difficult the job market was and how nobody would wish to pay him £300 an hour to drone on about their miserable little lives – but they were wrong. Louis couldn't believe how many stuck up arseholes there were crawling through London, sat opposite him each week, sniffling into a tissue and sobbing about how their bosses were insisting they had an affair or how their child only wants to learn two instruments instead of three. Louis didn't mind, though. As long as he could make a difference and afford tea bags each week, he figured he was doing alright.
The day crumbled away quite slowly for the Doncaster lad. His 1pm cancelled on account of a funeral, which Louis couldn't wait to dive into next time and his 2pm and had done nothing but talk about last night's episode of Made In Chelsea and how it'd made her emotional. She had, thankfully, told Louis they must finish ten or so minutes early which left Louis sitting at his desk, typing out a text to Zayn with a cup of tea steaming beside him.
Hey mate, hows your day going? Still on for tonight? – Lou x
Zayn's response was frightfully fast.
Yeh mate, but got somethin' you might wanna take a look at? – Z x
~ 10:35am, Harrow College ~
Zayn sat grading endless creative writing pieces which seemed to be overtaking his life recently, enjoying the soft murmur of his student's chatter. With a short while of class time remaining, Zayn had ordered them to begin their own writing pieces, in hopes of achieving a higher grade.
One or two conversations made themselves more popular throughout the group, the first making his skin crawl, something about Josh's dick and a can opener. The second, however, had a similar effect, only this time, it seemed to freeze Zayn's hand over his paper as he focused all his attention on the two boys, whispering furiously near the front of the chairs.
"Did you see his newest video? The one he posted last night?" the Irish boy whispered excitedly. He felt a pound of guilt ripple through him, he couldn't recall the blonde boys name.
"Of course I did, Niall!" Liam chuckled. "He's so brave! That lighter must have hurt!"
"I-I tried it, too. I mean, he just looked so at peace with himself while it was burning him – I wanted to feel like that, too. It just really hurt me, though," Niall sighed, frowning down at his sleeve.
"Ni.."
"No Liam! I didn't get mad at you after you cut yourself when we watched his first video, remember? He's-he's our inspiration, yeah?"
The bell had sang before Zayn could catch the ending of the conversation, but from what he could grasp, both boys had inflicted harm on themselves. As the students filed out of the room, Zayn called them behind.
"Liam, Niall, can I speak to you both for a moment?"
He perched himself at the edge of the desk, watching as the nervous boys slowly took their seats again.
"Did we do something wrong, Mr. Malik?" Liam whimpered.
"No…well, I-I couldn't help but overhear the conversation you were having during class. I hope you don't think I was eavesdropping, but what I heard concerned me. Am I wrong to believe you've both participated in harming yourselves? It's okay to open up to me, guys. I know I'm your teacher and all, but you can always talk to me, you know?" he shrugged ,awaiting their response.
"Mr. Malik, you need to understand that the reason behind our-our acts of, you know, wasn't because we're like, you know, depressed or anythin', we just wanted to try it cause Styles does it! He's amazin'!" Niall grinned.
"Styles…?" Zayn pondered, quirking an eyebrow. Liam spat a grunt at the blushing boy.
"That's his name…" Liam began. "He, he runs this website thing, and he just makes a bunch of videos that a lot of people watch. He didn't get too many views at the start but now things are starting to pick up for him, I guess. Listen, Mr. Malik, you aren't going to tell our parents, are you?"
"As your teacher, I do have a duty of care-"
"No! We promise we won't ever do it again and, and if we want to we'll talk to you instead! Is that okay, sir?" Niall pleaded.
"Alright," Zayn nodded. "But before you go, tell me the name of this boy's website."
When Liam and Niall had disappeared, Zayn quickly typed in the website address on his website, thankful he had a free period. The page soon began to load. It's background was a darkish grey colour with dashes of crimson throughout. Large, bold and swirling writing appeared at the top of the page.
Styles…
Links fell down to the left of the page. Zayn eyes quickly scanning their labels.
Home
Ask
Archive
My Face
My Pictures
Advice
Videos
He hurriedly clicked videos and gasped as he read through several of their titles, beginning from Style's first video from 2010.
Posted 2010: My first ever live cut
Suicide techniques
Favourite insults
Other ways of self harm
I haven't eaten in 4 days
Vomit day 2.0
First suicide attempt
I'm stuck in hospital
"Oh my God," Zayn whimpered, tears huddling along the horizon of his lashes. "I've got to tell Lou about this."
With slow movements, he slowly hovered over the hyperlink for the video for My First Ever Live Cut. He didn't want to watch this, but it was for the protection of his students. The video began to play and a broken, soft voice spoke out.
"Hi…my name is Harry Styles and I don't know why I'm making this video. I've been cuttin' myself for a while now, really and I know that I think it looks really pretty, my blood and, and I just thought I'd share that with other people."
He scooted further away from the camera so his full arm, littered with scars, was in view of the slightly fuzzy camera. The boy brought his right hand towards his left wrist, a glint of a razor tinkling through the camera. Zayn chewed his lip nervously.
"Here goes nothing," Harry had whispered, before pressing the blade tight to his skin and slowly and roughly dragging the metal across. Before the blood began to trickle, Zayn had slammed his laptop to a close.
"Jesus Christ!" he cried. "Who the fuck would post somethin' like that, let alone watch it? Oh God. I need a smoke."
It wasn't until later that afternoon after Louis had sent him a friendly text did Zayn pluck up the courage to hand Louis is information.
Okay? Should I be worried? Are you okay? – Lou x
I'm fine, Lou. Just, go on your laptop and type in .com and just, look at some of the videos and stuff on there, ok? A few of my students were talkin about this lad today and told me they'd self harmed after seein' his vids. I dunno what to do, Lou – Z x
Let me check it out and I'll get back to you at the flat, okay? Don't worry – Lou x
Okay mate – Z x
Louis did as Zayn had requested, searching the website address and allowing the page to load. Clicking on the tab for videos, Louis allowed his eyes to scan over the titles.
"Oh my God."