"Hey, what're you doing after shift?" Emily leaned around her locker and looked at Sylvie, trying to judge her mood. It had been a rough month since the chaplain had broke up with her and Emily was trying to rally as much moral support around her as she could. "Nothing, probably just staying home with the guys, sleep, and watch TV until next shift." Sylvie sighed as she put her bag in the locker and closed it; she hadn't been in a mood to do anything fun.
"Well, me and Stella are trying to put together a ladies night at my place tomorrow, why don't you come? It'll be fun." Emily put on her best pouty face trying to make Sylvie laugh. "I'll think about it, let me see how I feel tomorrow." Sylvie said as she tried to plaster on a smile.
The bells sounded calling for ambo, both girls took off running, Emily jumping in the drivers seat. "God, I hope it's a quick call, I'm not in the mood for socializing at the hospital today." Sylvie was staring out the window watching the city fly by. "Hey, I'll do the paperwork, you can come back out after we transfer if you want." Emily knew Sylvie was trying to avoid the chaplain at all costs; she was still hurt from being blindsided.
"You know maybe it would cheer you up if you just jumped right back in and went on a date." Emily suggested. "I think I'm done for a while, I have the worst of luck with guys." Sylvie was picking at her fingers, not wanting to look at Emily. "If you say so but you'll eventually have to get back out there, I'm just saying sooner rather than later might be good."
They pulled up to the scene; it was a police assist call where the suspect had been injured. Sylvie jumped out and grabbed the bag from the back and headed toward the apartment when she suddenly spun around and stopped. "Dammit, Intelligence is here." She whispered. Emily gave her a weird look, "Why does that matter? They come to the firehouse all the time." She snapped her fingers in Sylvie's face when she didn't answer.
Sylvie took a deep breath and spun back around, "It's fine, I'm fine, let's go." She took off toward the detective by the car parked out front. "Hey Upton, where are we needed?" Sylvie asked looking around to see if she spotted him, she didn't see him so maybe he wasn't there she hoped. "Ohh…, Brett, right…umm…inside, the suspect was shot in the leg. Up the stairs, second apartment on the right." Hailey looked nervous and kept shifting her eyes from the apartment back to Sylvie, Emily noticed the odd behavior and noted to ask Sylvie about it in a minute when they were out of earshot. Sylvie took off toward the apartment with Emily following behind.
"What was up with the detective?" Emily asked as soon as they reached the stairs. Sylvie shrugged, "Upton? I didn't notice anything. Why, what was she doing?" Sylvie was playing stupid and Emily could tell she didn't want to talk about something. "Never mind, I guess it was nothing." She shrugged it off and followed Sylvie down the hallway.
Antonio was kneeling on the floor applying pressure to the wound on the suspect's leg; he heard commotion at the door and looked over his shoulder, his heart stopped. He hadn't seen her in over a year; he actively avoided Molly's and the firehouse, in hopes of not running into her. He knew he was staring but couldn't help himself, she was there and all of a sudden he missed her more than he ever had, he thought the feelings had gone away but there they were in full force. "Hi." She said careful not to look him in the eyes as she kneeled down across from him. His head followed her but he couldn't get anything out, he stood, backing away but continued to stare as she worked.
"Hey, Detective, we're ready to go, can we get help getting him down?" Emily was talking to Antonio but he didn't hear, his eyes were firmly glued to Sylvie. "Detective?" she said louder, still no answer. Sylvie sighed, "Antonio!" she said and his mind snapped back into focus, "Yeah, sorry, what?" he stammered, embarrassed. "Can we get manpower help down the stairs?" Emily was a little peeved this was taking longer than it should and the awkward tension in the room wasn't helping the situation at all. "Yeah, I'll help." He said as he moved to grab the stair chair from Sylvie.
Emily watched as he moved toward Sylvie, Sylvie went stiff as he brushed against her trying to take control of the chair handles. They obviously knew each other and were close, exes maybe, if she didn't know any better but Sylvie had never mentioned him, she thought to herself.
Antonio helped load the suspect into the ambo and Sylvie jumped in. Hailey walked up to the side of the ambo as Antonio was about to shut the door, "Hey, you good?" she whispered to him. He nodded. "I'm going to ride with." he tilted his head toward the ambo about ready to jump in. "You sure that's a good idea?" she was worried after everything that had happened this year; she didn't think this was the best situation to be putting himself into. "Yeah, it's fine, I can handle it." He tried to reassure her, she nodded "Okay, you know the drill, check in with Kim in an hour." She reminded him and walked away. Antonio turned to jump in the ambo and saw Sylvie with a gun to her head.
Antonio drew his gun as panic rushed through him, "Put the gun down and let her go," he yelled as he kept his gun trained on the guys' forehead, he didn't have a clear shot. "Let me and him walk and she'll be fine." The suspect gestured with his head toward the guy on the gurney.
Antonio saw Hailey move around the far side of the ambo, he didn't think the suspect had seen her so he was careful not to acknowledge her and kept his eyes on Sylvie trying his best to let her know she would be fine. "Put the gun down and let her go, this isn't going to end well if she gets hurt." He yelled again as the suspect dragged Sylvie further inside the ambo. "Tonio!" Sylvie screamed, tears running down her face, as the suspect pulled her by her hair. "Shut up bitch!" the suspect yelled in her ear as he yanked her head back.
"Sylvie, just look at me okay? I'm right here, keep your eyes on me, you'll be fine I promise." His hands were starting to tremble, he was starting to lose control, he could see the fear and panic in her eyes and it was almost too much for him.
He decided to try to gain the suspects trust, "Okay look, I'm putting my gun down, just let her go and I promise you both can go." Antonio bent down slowly, not taking his eyes off Sylvie, and placed his gun on the ground. The suspect yanked Sylvie's head back again and she began to sob, "Why should I believe you?" the suspect asked as he positioned Sylvie in front of him and moved slightly toward Antonio. "Hey listen, I would never lie and put her life in danger, you can trust that, so put the gun down and just let her come to me and you can go." Antonio could see Hailey through the side door Sylvie just needed to move a little more forward and Hailey would have a clear shot. The suspect was getting nervous and fidgety, "Come on man, look I'm not armed, just let her go, you haven't hurt anyone yet." The suspect pushed Sylvie toward Antonio.
Antonio heard a shot; he panicked and lunged for Sylvie. He grabbed her arm pulling her out of the ambo and into his chest, the force of her body hitting his nearly knocking him to the ground. He watched the suspect crumble to the floor. He held Sylvie back from him and checked her over before grabbing her face and making her look at him, he couldn't help himself his emotions were in control and he kissed her, "Thank god you're okay, I thought I lost you." He whispered and pulled her back against him as she sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder. He could feel the tears streaming down his face as he buried his face in her neck and just held on as tight as he could. Neither attempted to move from where they were, they were completely oblivious to the world around them; at that moment nothing else mattered.
Emily stood beside the ambo watching the pair as police and detectives swarmed the area but everyone just walked past them as if it was completely normal. She was sure Sylvie had never mentioned this guy before; the only exes she was aware of were the chaplain, Cruz, and some high school sweetheart. She saw Hailey approaching and turned her attention to her, "Umm, Foster right?" Hailey asked. "Yes, my chief is on his way, he doesn't want me or Brett questioned until he gets here." Emily motioned between her and Sylvie and Hailey's head followed her movement. "Brett, oh she won't be a problem, Antonio will probably take her statement." Hailey informed her while staring back at the two with a worried look on her face. "Okay, well just come find me when Boden gets here and we'll figure everything out." Hailey started to walk away when Emily stopped her, "Hey, can you tell me who that detective is to Brett?" Emily hoped she didn't over step but she wanted answers.
Hailey sighed, contemplating whether or not to answer, it really wasn't her business but decided it probably wouldn't hurt, "Antonio Dawson, he's Gabby's brother and her ex, umm…anything else you'll have to ask her." Hailey gave her a small smile and walked away.
It felt like they had been standing there an eternity in their own little bubble, Sylvie's body was still shaking but her crying had quieted a little. He loosened his grip but she was still wrapped around him, he wanted to move her somewhere more quiet and private, so she could cry without an audience. "Hey, we're going to move to my car, okay?"
He started walking her towards the car when he saw her partner coming towards them, "Sylvie are you okay?" Emily said worriedly as she placed her hand on Sylvie's back. Sylvie's body stiffened at the contact and she tightened her grip on Antonio, Emily removed her hand. "She'll be okay, I'm taking her to my car, will you let Boden know she's with Antonio when he gets here?" he answered. Emily nodded and gave Antonio a sad smile, "Are you sure? I can stay with her if you need to get back to work." Emily offered. He looked at Sylvie, she was still crying and there was no way he could leave her now, "No, I'm sure, anyway, it's Sylvie, my team understands, thanks though," he assured her and continued walking them to the car. Emily watched as they walked away completely confused, everyone seemed to know about this guy and their relationship, so why had Sylvie never mentioned him before?
Antonio got them situated into the backseat of the car; Sylvie was sitting in his lap wrapped around him with her head buried in his neck, he was running his hand up and down her back. She had stopped crying but she didn't want to let go, she felt safe pressed against him, like the world couldn't touch her. "Thank you," she mumbled into his neck, his hand stopped moving, "mmhmm, it's my job," he started rubbing her back again, " I'm always going to try to protect you, no matter what." He needed her to know that she would always be important to him even if they weren't together.
Sylvie pulled back from him and looked him in the eyes, "Well that and this, the taking care of me part, you didn't have to do this." Antonio nodded his head and sighed, "that's my job too, or at least it used to be." Sylvie didn't know how to respond, her mind wasn't in the right place to have this conversation with him; she just wanted to concentrate on feeling safe and comfortable right now with him so she decided to change the subject. "I'm feeling a little better but can you stay with me at least until Chief gets here? If not I can find Emily." she knew he would stay just out of obligation but she wanted him to know that he had a choice to say no. "I'll stay as long as you want me too." he whispered as he squeezed her a little tighter.
Antonio heard a knock and opened his eyes, he saw Boden standing outside the car. He remembered Sylvie had fallen asleep, he must have fallen asleep too he thought to himself as he checked his phone for the time, it had only been about forty-five minutes. "Sylvie, Boden's here, he needs to talk to you." Sylvie opened her eyes confused for a moment that Antonio was in her face.
"Oh, sorry, I fell asleep on you." She apologized as she tried her best to scoot into the seat next to him. "No, no, you're fine but Boden is here and I think I'm going to go find Voight and the team and let you talk to him, is that okay?" he didn't really want to leave her but this was all getting way too comfortable and if he stayed any longer he may not be able to leave her at all and she had already made it clear last year he was not what she wanted. "Yeah, sure, that's fine and thank you, you really didn't have to and I appreciate it, really." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
Antonio got out of the car and leaned in, "You're welcome Sylvie, I think we should talk later if you have time, can I call you?" he was a little nervous and starting to feel like he wouldn't be able to walk away so he started to back away from the car. "That would be okay." She said as she nodded. Antonio nodded to her and spun around and nodded at Boden and walked away.
Antonio saw Voight and made a beeline for him, "Hey bro," Antonio said as he slapped Voight on the back. Voight turned and looked at him and raised his eyebrows, "You good? Because we're not going down that road a third time, I won't pull you out again, do I make my clear?" Antonio nodded his head, "I'm good, she was emotional and I'm familiar, she trusts me and latched on that's all, anyway she's with Boden now and I'm here, end of story." Hank stared at him for a minute and then nodded. "You better be, I understand it's Sylvie but don't let this thing with her mess with your head again, she's a big girl and has friends that can look after her." Antonio nodded, "Got it."
"Hey earth to Brett!" Sylvie snapped her eyes open not realizing she had closed them and looked over at Emily who was driving. "Sorry, yeah?" Sylvie apologized. "Okay, where's your head at? I know it's been stressful but this seems a little more than that." Emily was concerned about Sylvie it had been two weeks since the incident and she was an emotional wreck, she cried randomly, freaked out if someone left her in a room alone, and she was still staying with Stella.
Sylvie turned her head to stare out the window and sighed, "I'm fine, will people please just quit asking?" she huffed. "You're not fine, that's why I had to drive you to you're apartment to get some of your stuff because you can't do it alone. So you can either tell me what's wrong or I'll just leave you at Stella's and not wait with you." Emily was playing the tough love card hoping it would pay off but scared it would send Sylvie into a deeper hole.
Sylvie huffed but decided she better talk or Emily would keep her word and just leave her, "I'm really not sure, I don't feel safe no matter what I do, I'm scared all the time, I don't sleep, and nothing helps." She kept her eyes out the window so Emily couldn't see the tears forming. "See that wasn't so bad was it?" she smiled over at Sylvie and squeezed her arm. "So tell me when was the last time you felt really safe?" Emily had her suspicion but she wanted to know if Sylvie knew.
Sylvie shrugged her shoulders and didn't answer, she was trying her hardest not to cry. Emily pulled in the driveway and turned to look at Sylvie, "Look, you're going to have to eventually talk to someone about it. I can tell you're hiding something and I have a feeling of what it is and you need to deal with it." She was trying to be sympathetic but firm, she didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was.
Sylvie didn't want to continue this conversation and she needed to escape the confines of the tiny car, she grabbed her stuff and climbed out as fast as she could and made a beeline for Stella's apartment. Emily watched her run from the car, Stella's car was there so she could leave if she wanted to but she decided to go in and apologize for pushing her.
"Hey, Sylvie?" Emily said as she opened the door. Stella was standing at the kitchen counter and pointed toward the restroom door. Emily went over to the door and knocked on it, "Sylvie, I just want to say I'm sorry for pushing you like that, I shouldn't have." Emily turned and looked at Stella who had a questioning look on her face. "What did you do?" she mouthed at her. Emily rolled her eyes at Stella and knocked on the door again. "Come out, please." She was about to resort to begging when the door opened and Sylvie scooted past her and plopped down on the couch.
"I'm not stupid, I know the last time I felt safe and I also know that's not an option anymore, so I'll just have to deal with it." Sylvie was cranky and didn't know how to deal with this whole situation. "What are you two talking about?" Stella asked as she sat on the couch next to Sylvie and turned to look at Emily standing against the wall. "I pushed her a little to hard in the car, I'm sorry Sylvie, we can talk about it when you're ready." Emily moved to set on the couch on the other side of Stella.
"You're not wrong but you also don't know the story, it was complicated and messy and it didn't work and I thought he loved me but he obviously didn't, he walked away." Sylvie was trying her best to not cry; she kept her head down and concentrated on picking at her fingers and lint on her pant legs.
"Are we talking about Antonio?" Stella looked at Emily and she nodded. "You think he didn't love you honey? He was absolutely in love with you, everyone could see that, he followed you around like a puppy dog." Stella was confused as to why Sylvie would think he didn't. Sylvie shook her head, "No, he broke it off, I was going to tell him I wanted to try again and he ended it before I could say anything." She mumbled as she started to cry.
"Oh honey, I always thought you were the one who ended it the last time, you were the one who wanted to keep it casual and didn't want feelings involved, even though you did a horrible job at it, might I add, and you ended it the second time because you said he was getting too serious. That man never wanted casual, he just wanted you and was willing to agree to anything." Stella said sympathetically as she wrapped her arm around Sylvie. "No, he didn't, he told me he was going on a blind date and that we would talk soon and never called." Sylvie was getting agitated.
"Umm, if I can put my two-cents in…from what I witnessed, that man was not just a friend or an ex who was concerned, he was a guy trying to protect and comfort the person he is in love with, trust me I've seen plenty of them." Sylvie looked up at Emily to see if she really meant what she said. "It's been over a year since we even talked, he could have called at anytime and he didn't." She pouted.
"Okay, so it's been a year since you've had a full conversation but it has only been two weeks since the last time he kissed you." Emily decided to point out to her. "What are you talking about?" Sylvie was shaking her head confused, she hadn't kissed Antonio.
"He kissed you right after he pulled you out of the Ambo, remember?" Emily was staring at her like she had lost her mind. Sylvie shook her head "I don't remember much of that at all." She was trying to think but couldn't remember anything after hearing the gunshot, except Antonio hugging her.
"Hey sweetie, you don't have anything to lose if you just go talk to him but wear clothes this time or don't." Stella winked at her and laughed. "What?!" Emily questioned laughing.
"Well, our little Ms. goody good Brett here…" Stella paused and looked at Sylvie who had her face covered with her hands. "Please don't Stella, it's embarrassing." Sylvie begged her not to tell the story. "Sorry I have too, I already started." Stella laughed. "Well, she was the one who chased after Antonio, she asked him out and he turned her down, so she cornered him at Molly's and made him get drinks with her, and when he didn't call her for a couple weeks after that…she took it upon herself to ambush him at his place in only a coat, boots, and unmentionables. She pushed past him to get inside and just stripped in the middle of his living room as she gave him some corny speech and one thing led to another and you know where this is going." Stella could barely contain herself telling the story, she was laughing so hard.
"I'm never telling you anything again, I never even told Gabby that." Sylvie huffed. "That's because she wouldn't let you and I don't blame her, I wouldn't want to hear about my brother either." She pretended to shudder. "OMG, and here I thought you were all pure and sweet." Emily was thoroughly amused by this information. "It was awkward, I had never done that before and I'll never do it again with anyone else." Sylvie was pouting sitting there picking at the lint on her pants.
"But seriously Sylvie, what happened there? You two were great together even when you were pretending to just be casual, you guys really did click I thought." Stella's mood turned serious, she really did want to know. Sylvie sighed and pulled her knees to her chest, "Ugh, we just never could get back on the same page and like I said he walked away."
"Just go talk to him, you really don't have anything to lose. Have you ever actually sat down and talked about everything?" Emily asked. Sylvie shook her head, "No, we didn't do a lot of talking." She laughed and started to think about it all. "I'm not sure I even want to know what he has to say." She was being honest; she was terrified of what he would say.
Antonio leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands down his face, he had been staring at his computer for two hours straight. Kim sat across from him watching, he looked stressed and tired and she was starting to worry. "Hey, Tonio, break time." She whispered at him. Antonio pulled his head up and looked at her with his eyebrow raised questioningly. She motioned her head toward the door and mouthed 'now' at him. He hated this but it was a rule and he didn't have a choice, he got up and followed her toward the locker room.
"What?" he snapped at her; clearly annoyed that he had to do this. "Something's wrong, you're stressed and you look like your not sleeping, frankly you look like shit and I'm worried. So you know the rules, you either talk to me or we can talk to Voight." She laid it out.
"It's nothing, I'm fine, I've had a little insomnia lately, I promise." He held up his fist to give her a fist bump and she just looked at it. "Bullshit, try again." She could see right through his lies; he forgot she knows him better than anyone. "What do you want Kim? It is the truth." He was getting frustrated, he didn't want to talk but he knew he had to.
"Yeah, okay, so it has nothing to do with Sylvie?" She questioned staring him straight in the eyes. He shifted his body and looked down at his hands. "Why would it have anything to do with her?" he stuttered, he knew she had him figured out. "You kissed her, that's why." Kim was still staring at him and he peeked up at her with a guilty look on his face, "So, why, after everything you've been through this past year, would you put yourself in that situation again? And before you go getting pissy with Hailey, she was concerned and came to me, your best friend and partner, because she knew I wouldn't judge you for it." Kim knew she needed to get straight to the point so he couldn't have a chance to lie to her again.
"It was in the moment and it just happened, it didn't mean anything, that's the truth." He sighed and sat down on one of the benches. Kim stood in front of him, "I get and I know you love her, but you've been through hell this past year and you two were all over the place last year, I just don't think it's a healthy place for your head to be at right now." She placed her hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her. "I thought I was over it but seeing her with a gun to her head, I don't know Kim, it terrified me worse than anything I've seen or been through." he looked down at his feet and shook his head. "If I see her, I'm not going to be able to stop myself." He sighed and laid back on the bench.
Kim sat on the bench by his head, "Look Tonio, I love you and I want to see you happy, I just don't think this is the time. Maybe give it a couple months and see if the adrenalin from the shooting has worn off or not then make a decision, just don't be impulsive. Ultimately, it's your decision and I have your back no matter what you decide, okay?" she leaned over him and looked him in the eyes. He nodded, "Okay" he said and sat up.
"Now, I know it sucks but I have to ask, when was the last time you used?" he rolled his eyes, "December, last time I went to a meeting was yesterday, and the last time I went to therapy was last Tuesday." He threw the answers to all the questions she asked him regularly together and fished his chip out of his pocket and handed it to her. She turned it over in her fingers; it was his three-month chip. "I'm really proud of you, I really am, but I need you to just trust me enough to come to me instead of me having to pry it out of you, please? I really hate having to do this."
Antonio leaned into her, "Do you know why I chose you for this?" Kim turned her head and looked at him, "Not really but I'd do it for you no matter what." she said as she gave him a small smile. "Because you're the only person who hasn't let me down or given up on me, you've always had my back, even when I didn't have yours. So please never stop prying and I promise I'll try harder." He looked at her and gave her a small smile and bumped his shoulder into hers.
Antonio rolled over in bed and grabbed his phone to check the time, it was ten o'clock and someone was knocking on the door. He climbed out of bed and pulled on sweats and made his way to the front room, "Hold on." He yelled, thinking maybe Eva lost her key. He unlocked the door and started to open it, "Honey, why didn't…" he froze, Sylvie was standing there, she looked disheveled, her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was in sweats and a too big hoodie. He couldn't move he just stood there staring at her, "Oh, um, I'm sorry were you expecting someone?" she stuttered, embarrassed that maybe she had misread the way he acted at the shooting.
Antonio gained his composure, realizing what she meant, "No, no, sorry I thought it was Eva, sorry." He was confused by her presence at his door. "Are you sure? I can come back or just call?" she was starting to lose her nerve. Antonio shook his head, "No, you're fine, come in, it's cold out there." He moved out of the way and motioned for her to come and watched as she wandered into the living room and shut the door. She turned to face him and his heart stopped, he couldn't do this, it was too much having her here in his apartment. "Sylvie, I'm..." he started to speak but she cut him off, "No, I need to say something and I need you to listen and not interrupt, okay?" she looked so damn determined that he couldn't say no, he just nodded his head and motioned for her to continue.
Antonio watched her, she looked sad and worn, like she hadn't slept in awhile, he thought. She looked down at the floor and started fidgeting with her fingers nervously. He heard her start to speak and he focused all his attention to what she was saying, it was obviously important to her if she came all the way over at night in her pajamas. "I messed up last year and I realize that I hurt you. I didn't mean to, I was scared of getting too close to you again and getting hurt all over." She was speaking fast as if it all needed to come out right then, she looked at him and the look in her eyes damn near killed him, she started to cry and it took everything in him to not just go to her, he was trying his hardest to not react to anything she was saying.
"I'm so incredibly sorry, I fell in love with you and didn't know how to handle it, so I kept pushing you away but I figured it out, I really did the night you told me you were going on the blind date." She looked like she was going to start sobbing at that thought. "I was on my way to find you and tell you I wanted to be with you but when you said that I panicked and just let you walk away, I thought you didn't love me, that it was all in my head and right now I'm really hoping it wasn't because this is by far the most embarrassing thing I've ever done." He watched as she gave a little hopeful smile that he couldn't resist, he could feel his mouth pull up into a tiny smirk, as he remembered the last time she was standing in front of him giving an embarrassing speech.
"I know I don't deserve it after how much I've hurt you but I'm really hoping you can forgive me and maybe, just maybe we can try again because I'm miserable without you and I'm tired of pretending I'm fine when I'm not and now I've laid it all out and I'm going to leave it all up to you, I'm in love with you and I want us but it's your decision." He didn't know how to respond, she was standing there staring at him like a lost puppy, crying, he knew he needed to make a decision. He was contemplating when he saw her turn and head toward the door; he panicked and was behind her in two steps as she opened the door. He pushed the door shut and spun her around and pinned her against the door and kissed her hard. He pulled back breathless, "No, I'm not letting you walk out of that door again, I've made that mistake and it won't happen again, I've been in love with you since the back of that ambulance and nothing you say or do will ever change that, I'll be in love with you forever." He whispered in her ear.