After the End
Chapter 1
A/N: This is my first Lost fic and even though I am a fan of Sawyer and Juliet, I also like the Sawyer and Kate affair. Sawyer and Jules might be meant for each other, but the Skate pairing is just hot. This story is set after "The End" and before the afterlife reunion.
As the island disappeared out of sight, Sawyer couldn't help but let out a sigh. He had spent such a long time in that God forsaken place that he didn't really know how he was going to survive in the "real world" again. The island seemed like home, but it had taken so much from him that there was no way he could have stayed, even if it threw him back in time again. The pain was too fresh, too close to the surface.
Juliet was only the second woman he had ever loved; the first sat across from him in this plane. He couldn't really look at Kate anymore. A part of him still cared for her, but another part of him felt as though any feelings for Kate were wrong; a betrayal of Juliet. He knew she would want him to go on and live, but he was sure she would be a little disappointed to know that it would be with Kate that he would be living if he let those feelings rear their ugly head.
Besides, he thought to himself, she had professed her love for Jack only a few hours earlier. There were surely some feelings that would never fade in correlation with the good doctor. He really didn't need to continue along the thought track to know that there were some things he really didn't want to have to deal with.
Sawyer sat back, letting his body relax into the seat. He wasn't sure he wanted to see any of the people on the plane with him after they landed in the US. He did have some things to take care of with a few people from his past, though. His first order of business was to visit his daughter. Cassidy might just shit herself when he showed up on her front door step after several years of her thinking him dead, but she was bound to let him see Clementine. Clementine didn't feel like a betrayal and he most certainly wanted to see the little girl whom he had never had the chance to get to know.
He focused his attention on the thought of making things right for his daughter until he was snapped out of his reverie by Claire clearing her throat. She had been silent for the duration of the flight thus far and so it was only natural that he start at her noisemaking. "Do…do you think Aaron will know me?" she asked Kate quietly. Sawyer blanched at the situation in which Claire was firmly rooted.
"I'm sure he will," Kate responded, though she didn't look quite convinced. "He's been with your mom and I'm pretty sure she would want to show him photos of you. When he sees you, he'll know."
Claire nodded, but didn't say anything else and Sawyer knew that she was dreading the reunion as much as she was looking forward to it. It was exactly how he felt about seeing Cassidy again and meeting Clementine. His daughter deserved better than to have never known a father. Four years with just a mother must have been difficult.
Sawyer spared a glance at Kate against his better judgment and saw a flash of pain in her eyes before she pasted a smile onto her face. He knew that she had passed Aaron off as her son for three years, and knew that giving Aaron over to Claire was going to be difficult for her to see Claire reprise the role that she had held for such a short time before she wandered off into the jungle with the man in black disguised as her father. He felt bad for Kate, but there was really nothing to be done. She would at least be able to help out with Aaron though.
The feelings that were buried deep for Kate were starting to come to the surface as Sawyer thought about how hard things were going to be for her. She had gotten under his skin and though he wanted Juliet to be back more than anything, a twinge for Kate was still there. He wanted to protect her, but he knew that protecting her would lead to other things…things that were most certainly a betrayal of the woman he had lost. He knew that it was a slippery slope and if he allowed himself to feel protective of Kate, then he would want to be near her until he was certain that she was ok…that would make him revisit his feelings of fondness and caring and would devolve into love, or at the very least lust and if he let that that happen he would hate himself.
Sawyer closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat. The last thing he needed was to help Kate Austin. He tried to force his mind into a blank state and eventually, he fell asleep to the sound of Frank Lapidus giving them a rundown of how things were probably going to go. When he woke up they were nearing a runway and Frank was explaining that they were stopping for fuel.