Prologue

Hi. I'm Victoria, but my friends call me Vicky. I'm 13 years old. My last name is Goodwin, ironically. My parents are NOT good people. From the time I was born to when I was 8 years old, they would abuse me, physically and emotionally. They would lock me in my room, sometimes for weeks when they didn't want me around, which was never. I wouldn't be allowed to have food or water during those times. I was extremely grateful that I had a bathroom in my room, because if I didn't, I'm sure that I wouldn't have been allowed to use any other bathrooms.

Sometimes, when I forgot to do something, like my homework, or the dishes, my mother would hold me down while my father would beat me. I have plenty of scars from that. But my pain ended when one of my neighbors found me when I was 8 years old. My parents were arrested, and I was sent to an orphanage. I was wrong. My pain didn't end. Every day, I would wonder about what it was like to be loved and wanted. But one day, that thought changed.

Chapter 1

I'm sitting on my bed, at the Sunny Day Orphanage in Phoenix, Arizona, doodling in my sketchbook when Talia, my roommate/best friend bursts in, yelling, ''Someone wants to see you! Someone wants to see you!'' I cover my ears. Wow she's loud!

''Okay, Okay. Tell them to come up,'' I say in a much softer tone. Talia leaves the room, and a few minutes later, there's a knock at my door.

''Come in,'' I tell the person. A tall, handsome man walks in. He has greenish-hazel eyes, along with sandy blonde hair. The stranger smiles warmly at me.

''Hello. You must be Victoria.''

''Yep. That's me. And you must be...''

''Oh! Where are my manners? My name is Cody. Cody Harris.'' I smile and get up, holding out my hand. He shakes it.

''It's good to meet you. So...you look kind of young to be adopting.'' Cody chuckles lightly.

''I'm not that young, actually. I'm 29. My birthday was just last month.''

''Oh. Well, I just turned 13 last week. You know, if you were actually my father, you would be old enough.'' I grin. By this time, we were already sitting across from each other.

''I don't think I would have liked to be a teen dad,'' he says.

''Nobody does!'' We laugh. Cody and I talk for a little while longer, telling each other about ourselves. I found out that Cody is a writer. He writes about fantasy and horror. Then he asks what I want to be.

''That's easy! I want to be artist.''

''That won't take long,'' he says, going over to my wall of drawings. ''You already are one! Vicky, these are amazing!'' Vicky? How did he find out about my nickname?

''That's what my friends call me. Vicky.''

''Oh. I'm sorry. I won't call you that anymore if you don't want me to,'' he says with a worried expression on his face.

'' No! It's fine. Besides, you are sort of like a friend,'' I say to reassure him.

''I have to go now, but it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again soon.''

''I hope to see you again soon too,'' I say, smiling. He goes to the door and opens it.

''Bye, Vicky.''

''Bye, Cody.'' Then he leaves. Talia comes bouncing back in. Here it comes!

''WHO is he?! HOW is he?! How old is he?! Is he NICE?! He sure looks nice! WHAT is he?! I want answers now!'' she hollers in my ear.

''Jesus Christ! My ears, Talia! Calm down, and I'll tell you,'' I say, rubbing my poor ears.

''Okay. His name is Cody Harris. He's pretty cool. 29 is his age, and yes, he's very nice. Oh, and he's an author,'' I explain to her, covering my ears, bracing myself for her reaction.

''Cool? Dude, he's HOT!''

''Talia, I can't think about a potential foster parent like that!'' I lecture.

''Okay, Okay. Well, did he tell you why he wants to adopt?'' she asks me. I shrug.

''I don't know. I'll ask him next time he's here.'' Then, Talia starts squealing. Oh Talia...

Chapter 2

It's been a week since I've seen Cody. I've been really eager to see him again, but we never really set up a date. Talia and I are on the couch in the TV room at the orphanage watching Mama. We're hugging each other tightly, blubbering like helpless little babies. Suddenly, we hear a door creaking, and it's not coming from the movie. We watch the door in fear, expecting the worst. It pops open and we both scream. Our screaming stops when we realize that it's just our caretaker, Karen. She shakes her head at the sight of us.

''Girls, I've told you so many times not to watch horror movies in the mornings. Anyways, I just came to tell you that breakfast is ready. Mr. Harris will be joining us,'' she tells us. I grab the remote and pause the movie. Talia and I follow Karen to the large dining room, where there is a large buffet table. Some girls are already eating. Only about thirty girls live here, since it's only a small orphanage. Cody is also there, eating at the long table. One of the oldest girls here, Leona, also one of the meanest, is sitting next to him, flirting. After getting our food, Talia and I take a seat at the other end of the table, not wanting to deal with Leona's crap today.

Noticing our arrival, Cody moves to sit across from me. With our bad luck, Leona follows him, sitting next to him, across from Talia. She scrunches up her Crayola face at us, saying, ''Why would you want to adopt this loser? She's so worthless. Nobody wants her, so why would you? She has a bad past and trust issues. You can do so much better than that.'' I just stare down at my lap, because I know it's true. Cody frowns at her.

''You know what? I want her. I know for a fact that Vicky would be the perfect girl to adopt...'' He pops out of his chair and goes over to Karen. I look at Talia, with a confused look on my face. She shrugs. A few minutes later, Cody comes and kneels in front of me.

''Guess what?'' he says.

''What?''

''You're coming home with me tomorrow.'' I just stand there in shock.

''Y-Y-You're adopting me?'' I ask. He nods grinning at me.

''Yeah. I just have to sign the papers and you'll be Victoria Harris!'' In sheer joy, I jump into his arms with a wide smile. I'm shocked, totally shocked. For years, I've believed what Leona says. That I'm worthless. Nothing, because my parents sure made me feel like I was. Then something pops into my mind.

''Can you come up to my room for a second?'' I ask.

''Sure,'' he says. When we get to my room, I gesture for him to sit down.

''What's wrong, Vicky?'' he says, reading the tense look on my face.

''Before you adopt me, I think you know my story.'' Cody nods slowly. So I tell him my story, and in the end, we're both in tears.

''Oh, Vicky. I'm so sorry,'' he says, getting up and embracing me in a tight hug. ''No one deserve the very best.'' I smile as we pull apart.

''You know, I'm actually very surprised that I trusted you so quickly. Usually, it takes a while for me to trust someone,'' I tell Cody.

''So that Leona girl was right? You have trust issues?''

''Yeah. But that's not the only thing Leona was right about,'' I say. Cody gives me a look.

Cody stays at the orphanage all day, chatting with all the girls. When he leaves, I go up to my room with Talia. She helps me pack. She doesn't say a word to me, and I hear occasional sniffles. I go over to her.

''I'm going to miss you so much!'' she blurts out. A few tears threaten to fall from my eyes.

''I'm going to miss you too!'' I hug her. ''Thanks for being there for me. I'm still going to visit, you know. You'll always be my best friend,'' I tell her. Besides Karen, Talia is the only person here that I trust.

Chapter 3

The next morning I'm downstairs, ready for Cody to come and sign the papers. I glance at the clock anxiously. Finally the main door to the orphanage opens and in walks Cody. I walk over and hug him. He kisses my fore head.

''Hey, sweetheart. Okay, it will only take a few minutes to sign all the adoption papers, and then we'll go. Wait here,'' he tells me.

Last night, I did a lot of thinking. This whole thing is to good to be true. I know I've been acting like a normal, everyday girl, but I'm not. I've been bruised, and I've been broken, and I can't believe that I've put up with all this pain. My parents didn't want me- I've been reminded of that ever since I was a little baby. So Leona was right. Why would Cody want me, or anybody for that matter. I've been so broken from the hurt that my parents made me feel. They made me feel like I was incapable of being loved, and I still feel that way.

People at school think they know my story, but do they really? Everyday, I'm called names by all the other girls here, except Talia. Bitch. Slut. Emo freak. Waste of space. And much more that that. And yes, I cut...I know that it's bad to self-harm, but I can't stop. I've just done it so many times now that it doesn't hurt as much as it did when I first started.

So many people have made me feel as if all I deserve is pain. To be hurt. To be unwanted. I might have told Cody my story, but I didn't tell him my whole story. No one will ever know about that part of the story, and I'll make sure of that.

Cody walks out of the office. He tells me to go and get my stuff. I go and get my suitcase from my room, checking that I have my diary, and grab my backpack too. I go back downstairs.

"Hey Cody, can I go say goodbye to Talia?" I ask him.

"Yeah, go ahead." Talia is right behind me. I wrap my arms around her neck in a right embrace. Her tears silently fall.

"Don't worry.I'll keep in touch, " I say, rubbing her back.

"You better," she replies with a slight smile. I release her.

"Goodbye, bestie," says Talia , in between sniffles.

"Goodbye to you too, bestie," I say back. Then I walk away, fearing that I may burst into tears at the sight of her tear-stained face.

"Ready to go?" Cody asks me. I nod my head. He picks up my suitcase, and we walk through the main door. Cody leads me to his car, which is a red Mini Cooper. I've always wanted a Mini Cooper. We get in the front after setting my stuff in the back. Cody starts up the car. I'm very surprised when Cody tells me that he lives a few blocks away. We pull into a driveway about 15 minutes later. I get out of the car. and take in the beautiful sight infront of me. It's a large brick house with a huge abundance of plants in the front. My mouth drops open. ''Wow,'' is all I mange to get out.

''I know,'' says Cody. I jump, surprised that he's right next to me. ''It belonged to my grandparents. They left it to me when they passed away.'' I smile at him sympathetically.

''I'm sorry,'' I mumble. He shakes his head, chuckling. ''No need to be sorry. Anyways, why are we wasting time here when I could be giving you a tour of the house? Sound good?'' The widest smile appears on my face.

''Yes!'' I exclaim. Cody takes my hand and drags me into the house. The entrance is beautiful, with green wallpaper and a long flight of stairs leading upstairs. Loads of pictures are hanging on the walls. The entrance leads to a long hall. The first room is the living room, which is painted brown. There's a fireplace, along with antique furniture, and a large flat-screen television. It would actually be really cool if the furniture really was antique, I think to myself. The room across from the living room is the kitchen. It's pretty large. Next is the downstairs bathroom. Then there's Cody's office, which is also very spacious, and finally the dining room.

Next, he shows me what's upstairs. There's the library room, loads of guest rooms, and a whole bunch of bathrooms. Cody tells me that when his grandparents were younger, they ran a small guest house. Wow. That explains all the rooms. After that, he shows me his room. Then he tells me to close my eyes. He guides me to a door. Opening it, he pushes me inside.

''Okay. You can open your eyes now,'' he tells me. The sight that meets my eyes causes me to gasp. It's a room with blue wallpaper, a large closet, and a king-sized bed with a pattern of pink and blue polka-dots.

''Oh my god! This is amazing! Thank you so much, Cody! This is perfect!'' This really is too much. ''No one has ever done anything like this for me before.'' Cody smiles brightly.

''You're welcome, Victoria. Besides, you deserve it.'' Then he turns around and steps outside of my brand-new room.