The Joke
The episode opens with a shot from behind Pam's desk, showing Jim leaning over and talking to Pam softly as the rest of the office operates normally.
-Jim: "Seriously, you have to choose."
-Pam: "Oh, I'll take the Smurfs any day over Scooby Doo."
-Jim (Quietly outraged): "Seriously?! You were a Smurf kid? There was only one girl in that entire village! How could they ever expect to carry on their Smurf legacy?"
-Pam: "But you know she was never lonely on a Saturday night."
(Pause as Pam quickly reflects on her life, and looks at the camera with a guilty expression and a nervous cough)
-Jim: "Well despite your completely outrageous cartoon bias, I was wondering if you would maybe want to come with me to one of my friend's 'holiday' parties tonight. I was going to go with another friend, but then he ended up canceling on me…super complicated. But anyway, I thought that we could go together, you know just a couple of uh… people"
-Pam: "I'd love to go, but I think that I'm going to be busy tonight with…"
Roy walks in the door and towards Pam's desk
-Jim: "Well, whatever, no big deal. Just get back to me on it."
-Pam: "Sure."
Roy nods his head at Jim as he walks back to his desk, Jim sheepishly returns the act
-Roy: "Hey babe, you ready for the Steak-n-Shake tonight?"
Switch to Interview with Pam
-Pam: "Every Friday night Roy and I go out to dinner on a sort of cute little date. We try to go to different places every time, but we seem to go to Steak-n-Shake a lot… (looks off into space) In fact, it's most of the time…(stares into the camera with a sense of hopelessness)
Switch back to the office
-Pam: "Sure, Roy"
As Pam is agreeing, Michael bursts out of his office in an angered state with Toby following close behind
-Toby (trying to calm Michael): "It doesn't change the fact that it was an inappropriate joke Michael…"
-Michael (yelling indignantly at Toby): "Just because it's almost Christmas does not mean that a joke about a Jewish person is inappropriate!"
-Toby: "All that I am saying here is that you should try to be more understanding of other people when you're making jokes around the office. That's it."
-Michael: "Oh I understand Toby. I understand that you have turned into a Benjamin Arnold…"
Camera looks to Pam, who whispers to the cameraman
-Pam: "I'm sure he meant Benedict…"
Interview with Michael
-Michael: "People today are too uptight about what's 'Politically Correct' in this country. Last week, I was speaking to one of the guys in my improvisation class and I made a joke about a …black… guy who liked to smoke a little bit of the crack, and guess what? He laughed. (Wisely as he stares off into space) And you know what they say: there is a pound of truth in every joke. (Emphatically) A pound! (Chuckling) That, is a lot… (Silence as he stares into the camera)
Switch back to office
-Michael: "Ok Toby, fine, lets open up the flood gates. What other holidays should we celebrate here besides Hanukkah? Anyone?"
-Dwight: "Question: does the force count as a religion?"
-Michael: "Sure, great, whatever. Lets just let every crackpot thing in… Stanley, how about Martin Luther King?"
-Stanley (not even looking up from his work): "Once again Michael, Martin Luther King is not a religion, he was a person."
-Michael (angrily, as if he hadn't heard Stanley): "Fantastic! Toby, how about Mr. Grinch's birthday? (Spitefully) You sure would like that one…"
Switches to interview with Toby
-Toby: "I work here because I represent the corporate Dunder-Mifflin office. I am their eyes and ears on the ground. But what I've learned from being around Michael, is that you sorta just have to pretend to be blind… and deaf."
Switches back to the office
-Michael: "Ok Pam, did you get all of that down? We're gonna need decorations for all of those"
-Pam (Distractedly): "Sure did."
Camera pans over to show her working on the word jumble from the newspaper
Switch to the interview
-Pam: "Every day I give Michael the Junior Jumble and I save the regular Jumble for myself. Pause I think it makes us both feel better about ourselves."
Switch back to the office
Michael walks over to the giant inflatable Santa Claus in the corner of the room in order to take it down. As he walks in front of it, he triggers the "Ho, Ho, Ho" it produces when people walk past it.
-Dwight: "What are you doing Michael?"
-Michael: "I'm destroying the Santa, just like Toby would like to do in real life."
-Angela: "Thank God."
Switch to interview
Angela: "That Santa is clearly disruptive to work. Every time Jim or Michael get up to go get water I have to listen to it go off. It could drive someone insane…" (Angela gives a psychotic look to the camera)
Switch back to office
Michael starts to kick and punch the Santa in his fury as he lets it deflate
-Jim (with a smirk on his face): "Oh wow that thing is going down fast…"
(Jim immediately looks into the camera and mouths as Michael says)
-Michael (Angrily as he is walking away from the santa): "That's what she said!"
Michael goes into his office, slams the door and closes the curtains
Switch to interview with Michael
-Michael: "The reason I hate Hanukkah... and this is in no way anti-Semitic... is because it's about Jews. Jews who refuse to celebrate the national holiday of America: Christmas." (Camera zooms in disapprovingly on Michael's face)
Switch back to the office
-Dwight: "So, just for clarification, is Santa dead or not?"
-Jim: "He isn't, for now…"
-Dwight (demandingly): "Explain yourself."
-Jim: "No, really, it's nothing."
-Dwight: "I order you to tell me, or I will take you down with one of the three deadly Japanese martial arts."
-Jim (sarcastically): "Whoa, Jesus Dwight, fine…" (Jim leans in close) "You can't tell anyone I gave you this but…" (Jim passes him a folded note) "They're holding him hostage here."
-Dwight: "Oh my god… that's halfway across the state!"
-Jim: "I know, it's not like you could ever make it there in time…"
-Dwight: "Oh I'll show you Halpert." (Dwight grabs his jacket and swiftly walks out the door) "Tell Michael I'm taking a sick day."
-Pam: "Sure… Dwight."
Pam looks over at Jim as Dwight leaves
-Pam: "What address did you give him?"
-Jim: "The Pennsylvania capital building."
(They both guiltily laugh at the situation.)
-Pam: "Oh God, I hope the state police are on alert."
Cut to Michael in his office still stewing over what Toby said while talking on the phone to Jan
-Michael: "This is ridiculous Jan, how can I possibly be expected to work with these people when they don't respect what I have to say."
-Jan: "Well first of all, Michael, it doesn't sound like you've been doing much 'working' at all today. Secondly, no one should have respected what you said, it was incredibly inappropriate for a work environment and Toby was completely right. "
Michael starts to make static sounds
-Michael: "Pssssssssh, what's that Jan? I can hardly hear you, I'm going through tunnel and I'm not getting any reception."
-Jan: "Michael, I know you aren't on your cell phone, I called you. If it didn't work the first time, why would it now?"
-Michael (quickly): "Psssssssssh, oh God, here comes another tunnel – I'll call you later Jan."
Michael hangs up the phone
-Jan: "Mich-…" Jan's voice cuts out
Michael looks at the camera in a half-proud, half-guilty way
Cut to later in the day as everyone is leaving, Jim walks up to Pam's desk. The desk as well as the office is now decorated with Menorahs, a Merry Christmas banner and ornaments, and even a tie fighter suspended from the ceiling
-Jim: "So Beasley, what's the verdict on tonight?"
-Pam: "Umm…" (She stares down at her cell phone anxiously) "The verdict is… I would love to."
-Jim (Over excitedly at first, then calms himself down): "Nice! I mean, that's really cool. So you wanna head over right now?"
-Pam: "Sure, I'll just meet you downstairs in a second."
-Jim: "Alright, I'll see you there."
Jim walks out as Pam picks up her cell phone and proceeds to leave a voice mail
-Pam: "Sorry Roy, I can't go out tonight, there's this thing at work that I have to take care of for a while, so I'll be home late. So… I guess I'll see you then…"
extended pause
-Pam (kind of reluctant): "I love you."