Dark Comedy again. Are we having too much of these? Well even if we are I don't care
Dark Comedy
The ultimate showdown
Max, Monica and the Firbits were sitting on the edge of a clearing, waiting.
wait
wait
wait
After a lot of waiting that we won't go into, a woman in an extremely tight dress entered from one side of the clearing.
Max and Monica both jumped up.
"Elaine, please don't do it, it's not worth it!"
"Don't go!" Max shouted "I LOVE YOU!"
Everyone stared.
"Well she is my mother for goodness sake." Max insisted, while Elaine stopped just before the centre of the clearing.
"But you haven't seen her in like ten years." Monica pointed out. "Plus I thought I was supposed to be your one true love?" Monica's eyes turned red.
While Max tried to assure Monica he only loved her, another figure wearing a stupid hat entered from the opposite side of the clearing.
"No Holly!" yelled Conda.
"Please don't Holly, we love you! We all love you!"
Holly sent the Firbits a looked of revulsion and said "Don't be perverted. You're only kids." Which cause the Firbits to become silent with confusion.
When she stopped just before the centre of the clearing, a figure magically appeared between them wearing a hard hat to protect his head for the woman's glares cutting though his head. Everyone groaned as they noticed the stranger's looooooong coat and half cyborg body.
"Not you…" one of the Firbits said as she stared crying (the rest of them became really freaked out when they realised there was a female Firbit among them but they were ignored)
"Welcome to the clearing in the wood!" SPG inc. howled to everyone, apparently no worse for wear after the last time he met up with Dark Chronicle characters. "And today Elaine and Holly are here to settle a terrible dispute, even if it means one of them has to die…"
"Mother, you can't do this to me just because of that fat cow!" Max shouted.
"Shut it rich kid!" SPG yelled while Elaine ran over to hit him. "It's all your fault this happened anyway. Look at this."
Dark Chronicle cut scene
That reminded me of the potato pies you made for me when I was a kid. They were so warm eating them would always cheer me up. The most delicious potato pies in the whole world.
End of cut scene
"That's right." said SPG. "This whole thing is about who makes the best potato pie."
Max and the Firbits started yelling for Elaine and Holly not to do it, while Monica shook her head at the stupidity of it all.
"And since I don't like cooking programs on TV, instead of having a predictable cooking competition, I've decided there'll be a massive fight to decide it instead." SPG cackled evilly.
"And while this happens, I'm gonna go amuse myself by getting mugged. Ah, what a great world Dark Chronicle is. If someone robs you, you can just chase them and smash their head into the ground and they won't fight back."
SPG inc. walked out of the clearing to find someone to rob him, leaving Elaine and Holly with a clear run at each other. In seconds they were having a cat fight (Xiao came running up at that point to try and join in, but fortunately someone, probably Paige, fired a gun at her and she ran off).
So they fought. They were both pretty rubbish but everyone knows Elaine a lot cooler than that stupid butterfly/ woman wannabe so Holly was getting pasted.
Then Holly got her hat knocked off, revealing…… that she was bald and he hat was stuffed with toilet paper. Then she got real mad.
"You'll pay for that!" she yelled as she threw down a Pokémon ball.
"RAINBOW COLOURED BUTTERFLY!!!!!!" she yelled
"Rrrrrrrrrrainbow coloured butterfly." Conda began practicing his rumbling voice, "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrainbow coloured butterfly." and continued till the Firbits mobbed him.
Meanwhile Holly had turned into a huge butterfly and was getting really ticked off at Elaine laughing her arse off.
"A giant butterfly!?" she howled. "Since when in gaming history has someone been defeated by a giant, colourful butterfly!? What you gonna do? Flutter me to death?"
Then Holly really lost it and split into seven smaller butterflies which began mobbing Elaine.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!" Elaine began hitting herself with her duster. The butterflies flew away a turned back into one big butterfly again, but since the feathers on Elaine's duster kept tickling her she thought she was still under attack and kept hitting herself.
Holly then began making heroic poses while the Firbits put on multi coloured clothes and poms and began cheerleading.
"This is hopeless!" Monica complained. "Isn't there someway we can cheat?"
"I've got it!" Max yelled, surprising Monica by coming up with an idea within the hour. He grabbed something out of his pocket, yelled "MOM!!!!" at the top of his voice, and threw the object.
-The next few scenes are shown in slow motion for dramatic effect-
The item arced though the air.
Max yelled "SHOW THAT BITCH!!"
SPG ran over and started hitting Max with a bongo drum.
Elaine dived forward and grabbed the item before realising it was a…
-End of slow motion-
"A loaf of bread. What-the-HECK, am I supposed to do with this!? And stop swearing!!" Elaine yelled
"Smash it against your duster! It will give it fire power!" Max yelled back.
Since she had nothing better to do, Elaine tried just that, and was surprised to see the bread go multicoloured then shatter on the duster. Then she ran forward and hit Holly's wings, which instantly burst into flames, causing her to flap around going "ARGGGGGHHH!!!" which also led to the crushing of several Firbits.
Max and Monica cheered wildly as Elaine walked back over to them.
"I never doubted you for a second Mother!" said Max.
"It's official- your pies are the best." agreed Monica
"They certainly are. So what's say we go celebrate with a potato pie feast?" said Elaine.
Max shrugged and said "Err, actually I've decided I don't like em anymore".
Someone killed Max.
The End?
Yay! Dark Comedy number 4. If your reading this, please, not only leave a review but be on the look out for the prologue my Dark Chronicle novelisation. The first and only!!!! Thank you!