Hello Angel: Chapter One

Ponyboy's P.O.V.

For some people, two months may seem like lightning. So many events take place in your busy lives each day; participating in multiple activities, learning in school, studying the information you learned at school, and in between all of that you have to manage your social life. By the time you slow down and think, those two months are gone and you find yourself wondering what happened to them.

I wish that was the case with me, but it's barely been two months since I lost my two buddies to the cruelness of the world, and it already seems like an eternity has passed. I wake up each morning thinking Johnny and Dallas have been gone for years, thinking that I should be much older than fourteen and have long since learned to deal with the fact that I would never see them again. When I arrive at school reality hits me hard. It is then I remember I'm still the same as I was before; and now I'm living in a past in which I can not escape and a future I don't want to face.

Sighing I pushed these thoughts from my head and concentrated on the feel of the hot water from the shower running down my back. Track practice has been long over now, but just five minutes ago I found I was still sitting on the metal bench in the guys locker room, as I had been an hour ago, staring into space. I wondered why nobody had bothered to try and get my attention, but if I had thought about it, it would have been plain as day; nobody on the track team speaks to me anymore. If you wanted to know the truth, nobody speaks to me anymore; they haven't since a few months after I came to back to school, apparently I'm some psychopathic murderer who wants to kill all the pretty girls boyfriends. I wish I knew who started that rumor so I could give them some advice on rumor spreading.

As the water grew cold I exited the shower, wrapping a fluffy white towel around my waist and dropping down onto the bench, beginning to pack my track clothes into my blue duffel bag. In an act of stupidity I picked the bag up upside down, causing a variety of things to clatter to the floor. Letting out a groan I started picking them up, shoving items into my bag with surprising anger. When my hand clasped around the cool metal of a switch blade, one I had acquired from the back of Darry's car without him knowing, I stopped, looking at it while thoughts brewed in my mind.

'You know you want to.'

I jumped as the voice whispered inside my head, causing the blade to drop, sending eerie echoes around the room. I suddenly realized how alone I was, and I wasn't just talking about being the only one here. School wasn't the only place I was being ignored; at home Soda and me didn't talk as much as we used to and Darry was always working nowadays, trying to pay off the collection of bills he had gathered. Two-Bit still spoke to me, but it wasn't the same, and Steve never spoke to me anyway; so that wasn't much different.

'They don't want me,' I thought bitterly, picking up the blade once more and twirling it idly in my fingers, 'they wouldn't care if I was gone.'

I flicked the blade open with a flick of my wrist and stared at it, how enticing that sharp object looked, how beautiful.

'It could be my escape.'

I placed the metal against my wrist, giving it one drag, slowly, so if it hurt I could stop quickly. Surprisingly, I felt nothing, so I pressed deeper, and threw my head back against the bench; who knew a blade could be so satisfying. It was like my favorite candy mixed with chocolate cake. Like a million sunsets in the country with my mom and dad with me. I could think of thousands of words to describe it. I continued to bring this comfort to myself until I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and my slashing grew slower until finally the blade fell from my hand as I fell into a world of darkness.

I woke up to a dull pounding in my head, which gradually increased. I blinked and flashes of light entered my eyes, causing me to groan and turn over. I looked around the white room, realizing that I was in a hospital. Two blurry figures were sitting besides my bed, and I blinked again so they would focus better. It was Sodapop and Darry, and by the looks of their faces, they had been crying.

"Hey Honey," Soda whispered quietly and slowly brought his hand out to touch my face, "how you feeling?"

I opened my mouth to talk, but no words came out, only a small moan. I felt Soda's fingers move through my hair and I tried to remember what happened to me. The school locker room flooded into my mind, then the image of the blade against my wrist.

'Why am I still alive?' I thought vaguely, 'They must be mad at me.'

I willed my mouth to move, "Are," I coughed weakly, "you mad?"

Soda shook his head, as did Darry, "No, we're not mad." Darry told me, moving over and taking my hand in his. "We just want to help you."

I nodded and closed my eyes, I was awfully tired.

"Listen Pony," Soda whispered quietly, "they ain't lettin' us stay with you tonight cause' your in intensive care or somethin'."

My eyes snapped open and I looked at Soda with slight panic, "why?"

"Well, visiting hours end at ten o'clock and it's already eleven. The nurse let us stay till' you woke up, but not after that..."

"I don't want you to leave," I said quietly, feeling hot ears fill my eyes.

"I know. We'll be back first thing in the morning, okay? But I have to go now, so you be brave all right?"

I nodded although I didn't think I would be brave. I hadn't slept without Sodapop in ten months, not counting that time in Windrixville because I had Johnny then. I had to bite my lip from crying out as both of them left, Darry giving my hand a reassuring squeeze before exiting.

It took me awhile to fall asleep that night, and when I did my dreams were haunted with thoughts of burning churches and wrecked cars.

Sometime during the night I awoke with a strange feeling I was not alone. The hospital room was dark except for a faint light coming from the hallway. It was then I noticed my door was cracked open slightly, and I was sure it was shut when I fell asleep. Trying not to panic my eyes searched the room and I saw the silhouette of a girl on the wall opposite me. I turned my head slowly and let out a small scream as I saw a girl with eyes so blue that they pierced through the darkness. She was looking down at me with such curiosity it scared me. She jumped back as I scream, I don't think she realized I was awake.

"Who are you?" I whispered, as curious about her as she seemed to be about me.

"You look exactly as he described you," she spoke more to herself then me, "less blonde maybe, and definitely paler..."

My eyebrows came together, "what are you talking about?"

She looked as if she was about to answer, but the sound of footsteps moving down the hallway caused her to spin around, looking frantically at the door, "I...I have to go." She muttered.

"Wait," I reached out to stop her but she was already gone.

I turned over and tried to sleep, wishing the darkened room hadn't prevented me from seeing what she looked like; but those eyes were enough to seal her picture in my mind forever. I feared sleep would not come tonight, so I just lay there, wondering who this mysterious girl could be.

Oh my, three stories going at once? Yes, yes there are. I have ideas, and I'm on Christmas break, and trying to find which one out of the 3 is going to do the best.

So please review.

Avec amour,

Honey Dew.