A/N: This began as a chapter in my other JoelxEllie story, "The Women".
However, I felt another ending, as well as some other changes, would fit better. So, here it is!
I did not include any sexual content in the other story, as I had not wanted to focus on that aspect. However, I am not opposed to it, as long as it is done well (as I hope I have done). So, here is an alternate ending to Chapter 11, I suppose.
EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD...FAIR WARNING...AND ANGST. If JoelxEllie isn't your thing, I respect that, but I urge you not to read if you're simply going to flame in the reviews.
(Note: in the story, Joel has just gotten Ellie to sleep the night before, after she comes home drunk. Sexual tension has been building between them for months, and there is a lot unsaid between them, so he's just read her diary to understand what's been going on in her head).
2038
The deed had been done, and in turn, Joel's fears were confirmed.
Joel forced the journal shut into his lap and stared into the distance, fists balled tightly to maintain his composure. As though he were a bystander who witnessed a tragic accident, he could not prevent himself from his spiral into the obscure, train wreck of a climax in Ellie's journal.
Now, as he sat there, he felt himself grow nauseated at the entire thing.
First off, a part of him wished he had not read anything at all. A teeny, tiny part of him was intrigued as she sang his praises in the beginning, and he admired her strength, but he felt his face grow red with blush as her entries became more...emotionally charged. All those pent up feelings were geared toward him, as he had always suspected for the past year or so, but, much to his horror, he now knew she was in love with him.
That was what worried him before he had even started to read; he knew there was no way to undo any of that from her young mind. Love, Joel often thought, was traumatic. It forced one to behave in ways they normally would not, and in turn, it changed a person entirely. None of those feelings were necessarily negative, but in this specific case, he could not imagine it would end well for his companion.
What could a hardened, bastard of an old man provide for a young...woman...who was so optimistic and bright? Ellie had a future in Jackson, she could settle down and have children if she wanted; Joel, on the other hand, was just killing time before his borrowed time on Earth ran out. Although she had provided him with a reason to survive, he could not help but consider that he was just too old and too tired to care anymore. Fifty-three, in this world, is just too god damned long.
Of course, he had found real happiness here, but even that was short-lived. Joel would be damned if he would take Ellie down with him as his own ship sunk due to his own accord. No matter what, he would have to convince her to give up this little fantasy of hers and move on, even though he knew it was too late for that kind of progress. Either way, they were destined for a bleak future: if he gave her what she probably wanted, he would not even live long enough to see her reach her forties, but if he refused her, how could he expect that not to have some emotional damage for her?
No...she's still young...maybe I could convince her to move on, for my sake.
With all these thoughts, Joel suddenly realized he had never explicitly made it clear in his own mind about his new found opinion of Ellie. Although his obvious love for her was no surprise to him, he never allowed any physical opinion about her to form his mind. That being said...she was very beautiful in her own way to him, but beautiful did not necessarily mean sexual attraction. Yes, she had supple hips and a round bottom, and a certain pout to her lips, not to mention that although small, she had a very French appearance to her bosom, but none of that meant anything.
Right?
Right?
Fuck, who am I kidding, that little girl became my dream woman somewhere down the line, and I can't even put my finger on when it happened. Of course I have feelin's for her, and I've dreamed about it...but dreamin's for the weak minded, and we live in the fuckin' real world. Get your shit together, Joel.
Surprisingly, the age difference did not bother him because it was frowned upon by others. Joel never gave a damn about the opinions of others, and he was not about to start this late in his life. That being said, what did bother him was that she would inevitably watch him die. After all the loss she had experience in her young life, Joel knew that if something were to happen to him, she would never recover.
After all, if anything happened to her, he knew he would not last an hour. On their travels, Joel had decided that should any misfortune fall upon her, he would have to pull the trigger on himself as quickly as possible.
But, if he died as a father figure, that could be more bearable for her. Children are aware that they outlive their parents. But, the death of a life partner involved much more pain, especially when she would have no one else to turn to for comfort. Of course, Joel would probably not outlive Tommy and Maria, but even though they would be alive to keep Ellie company, and even though she loved them, they could not even compare to the bond that he had with her.
Ellie was so much like Joel that it frightened him, and it often made him feel bad for the poor old soul, stuck in the body of a nineteen year old.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Ellie mumbled across the room, and Joel jumped. The sun had started to rise in the window. Jesus, your dumb ass lost track of time.
"...How you feelin'?" he managed to choke, as this was the first sober conversation they had had in months.
"Like shit, but only half of it's from the whiskey, asshole," she spat, and sat up in bed to glare at him. Joel stared her down, until he lost his confidence, and took a deep breath.
"Listen, I haven't been treatin' you well, and I know you're angry. You deserve to be angry. Figure I owe you one hell of an apology," he mumbled, somehow fascinated that he had pushed his previous, secret thoughts away, and looked into his hands. I'm too good at avoidance.
Instantly, his eyes fell to the diary that he still clutched, and he heard Ellie gasp as she noticed at the same time that he did.
"You son of a bitch. If you wanted to know what was on my mind, all you had to do was ask," she said, and her words cut through him like glass.
"I saw it next to your bed last night...after I got your drunken ass to sleep," he managed to yell back, though he did not feel real aggression. The man was doing his best to shift her attention. Ellie's eyes narrowed, and instantly he knew she would not fall for his attempt to sidetrack her from the subject.
"Don't pull that shit with me, Joel, please. Talk to me."
"Now, listen-" he began.
"-No, you listen. You're a nosy fuck and you shouldn't have read any of that, but I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I know more than ever that I need you Joel. Let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain. You have a crush; all little girls have a crush now and then, ain't no harm in it as long as you get over it quick," he lied through his teeth, and felt his heart break.
Of course he knew she loved him, and of course she was a grown woman, but if he said those words out loud instead of inside his head, it would confirm it... and make the situation real. Joel needed more time to think. Suddenly, he felt emotion bubble under his cool exterior, and it seemed to consume him.
"You're lying again. But that's okay, I always know when you're lying," she hinted, and he felt as though he needed air.
"Ellie, I'm not ready to have this conversation, okay? I need time," he choked, and her face softened when she realized how unstable he felt. Tears almost pricked at his eyes, and he coughed to make them go away.
"Joel...please, I know I love you. And I know you love me too, and I don't see why we can't start living our lives together like a couple!" she said quickly, and moved toward him before he flinched.
"No! No, god dammit!" he yelled, now aggressive, and she stared at him. "I was doing just fine...just fine," he said, and his voice caught at the end.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, slowly.
"Why can't you just leave me alone? Can't you see this is hard?"
"Let me understand."
They sat there together in silence for a long time as Joel paced the room. Numerous expressions formed across his face, and he felt like that past 30 years were on repeat in his mind, up until the point where they both stood today.
"When Tess died, I resented you. I damn near wanted hate you for it...and then..." he gestured with his hands, and the wrinkles around his eye increased as he struggled to continue. "...Then I felt myself gettin' attached like I shouldn't."
"Like...romantically...like it felt inappropriate because I was so young?"
"No! No, it wasn't even like that yet, but it was worse than that. You became my life, and it felt good to care about someone again...to take care of someone, because we only had each other. I hate myself for it, and I hate that I met you because you made me feel this way," he accused aggressively.
"You're blaming me for your feelings? So you regret it...you regret me... you regret everything..." she stated, without an actual question. Joel's face softened, and his eyes grew wide.
"No, I...I don't regret anything. I just… wonder how in the hell we got here is all, and I can't fathom any favorable outcome for either of us," he said, voice full of sorrow, with a shrug of his shoulders.
"But you do blame me."
"Well, yeah," he finally admitted, after a long sigh.
"Joel, that is the most incredibly stupid and juvenile thing I've ever heard," she spat, brow furrowed and arms crossed. Joel glanced at her as though he had been slapped.
"I know that! I'm tellin' you the truth, it's how I feel. Thought you might appreciate that," he scoffed.
"Why are you struggling so much with this?" she nearly begged, and he blew it off with a wave of his hand, in order to deny the truth of her words.
"Those feelins' of attachment made me weak. I was doin'...I was doin' just fine. Things got even better once we got here, and then you spring all this shit on me and I'm forced to deal with it! Can't you just be happy with someone else?" his voice boomed.
"No!" she almost squealed in outrage. Ellie had effectively anticipated the sort of reaction that he expressed, but the suggestion was still ridiculous. The way in which she stood her ground with without hesitation, however, shocked Joel, and he stood glaring at her for a long time.
"Why don't you try, dammit," he finally growled, visibly irate.
"Joel, did you expect to live your life like some emotional fucking cripple? I know it was necessary for survival, I get it! But you need to stop using it as a crutch...I mean, look at us now. We're allowed to live our lives and try to move on," she urged.
"No, Ellie, just-"
"-no, fucking shut up for a second. You always preach to me like some fucking invalid who doesn't have a say, but I have a say now Joel. This is my life too! Isn't that what you always told me? Things happen and we move on. Stop being such a hypocrite and move on! Not just for your sake, but for mine. Please," she said.
Joel stood erect, totally frozen, with his jaw clenched, before his emotions got the best of him. The words soon began to fall out of his mouth, like some release had occurred.
"What can I give you that some young buck can't? You gonna watch me grow old and die before you're thirty-five? Assuming the infected don't get me first. You gonna wipe my ass and the slobber from my mouth when I'm too god damn old to even recognize who you are? You ain't never seen old age, Ellie, I don't think you get-" he taunted viciously.
"-Stop! Joel, I can't be with anyone else and neither can you. We've come too far now! And as for everything you've just said...I mean, I'm a little offended that you think so little of me. If you ever got sick and old, I wouldn't want anything more than to take care of you. You always took care of me…"
"Exactly, and that dynamic ain't never gonna change if I have any say," he spat, firm and stern. Ellie scoffed angrily, before she took another moment to prepare her argument.
"Don't fucking play this off like you're only concerned for my well-being. I know my well being is your main priority, and a part of me is glad for that, but a lot of these feelings you have are just your way of shutting yourself down because you can't deal with all these changes! You're so used to not feeling anything...and you can't handle this. You're protecting yourself," she accused.
"Ellie, this conversation ain't goin' no where, and it's just gonna drive us further apart. Let's just prete-" he started, completely over the conversation.
"-Oh...I get it now, this is all to soothe your selfish ego because you don't wanna look fragile. Well, Joel, lemme tell ya, I've never seen you more weak and pathetic than you look now. Trying to avoid me when I pour my heart out to you because you're scared of your feelings. It's okay, I don't feel rejection… I know you better than that. I'm stronger than that. I'm stronger than you."
They stood standing in each other's faces, breathing heavily due to the adrenaline associated with the subject, before Joel leaned in. The expression on his face was some mix of anger, fear, and desperation all into one, and she had admittedly never seen it before.
"...What difference would it make if I told you I loved you? That's nothing you don't already know. I can't imagine what more you want from me," he whispered as a plea, brow furrowed.
In his heart, he felt a stab of pain when he realized what he had just admitted, and he thought he saw a similar reaction from Ellie, but she seemed preoccupied with other thoughts to act on his admission.
"I want you in every way, not just with your words. And, none of this is just about what I want Joel. It's about what we need. Don't you understand the difference?" she whispered.
"What you need, is someone who can be there for you the rest of your life. And I can't give you that," he choked, tone final.
"What about what you need? Don't you need someone to love you...make you feel significant...I know there are emotions under that hardened face, Joel…you've never fooled me with that shit before," she accused.
"Emotions get people killed, Ellie," he warned.
"Not here in Jackson, not anymore," she denied without hesitation, and he was frustrated with her lack of compliance.
"Emotions won't get you physically killed here, but they can still kill you in other ways... you have no idea," Joel whispered, somehow miraculous that he had recalled some faint quote from Oscar Wilde, and forced down bile in his throat at their significance.
"If that's the case Joel, you're already dead if you refuse my proposition."
"I've been dead inside for a long time."
"No, you clearly fucking haven't! And the fact that you avoid it so much proves my point even more. You may have been brutal, and you may have done awful things, but you're still the best person I know Joel," she expressed her need affectionately.
"Am I supposed to feel better now that you've said that?" he scoffed bitterly.
"Okay...another point then...what if I told you that by not being with me, you'd be ruining my life? Would that change your mind? And don't you think you owe it to me to give me what I want after you lied to me all those years ago? I never pressed you about it, because I knew you wouldn't tell me. You see, I value your feelings more than I value my own. So I left it alone! I think it's time you start valuing me more than you value yourself, you selfish fuck."
Her words set his eyes ablaze.
"Obviously I value you more than I value myself, god dammit! If you don't know that by now then you don't know jack shit," he replied, eyes dark.
"Well then, I guess there's nothing left for me here. You aren't going to budge, and my needs aren't going to disappear."
"What are you suggesting?'
"Since you can't give me what we need, and since you obviously want to torture yourself, I'll let you wallow alone. That's what you want, isn't it? Isn't that what you wanted from the beginning, when I was just cargo?"
"Ellie, now just hold on a minu-"
"-I don't have any time left to waste, Joel. I've already wasted five years of my life. I'm gonna leave now, okay? Don't worry, I won't come back," she stated honestly.
"Are you threatening me?" he pressed, unsure of her words.
"I would never threaten you, I'm just giving you what you want."
They stared at each other for a long time. For a moment, Joel thought she had attempted to bluff to get a reaction from him, but then he realized that she was not that type of person. Conflicted emotions ran through his mind as he searched her face, but he considered that she might be better off if she left him. Maybe she could move on...isn't that what you wanted?
"If you wanna leave-"
"-I don't want to leave, but I think you'll be happier if I go…" she replied with a shrug, with tears that threatened to spill over, and turned to walk upstairs to pack her things.
I won't be happier, kid, but I think you might find something better.
It was settled to her, that the entire duration of their relationship had been built up this far for nothing. All the sacrifice, all the pain…maybe they were both so beyond repair that it was no longer worth the fight.
C'mon…you'd better get a goddamned grip on this situation before she leaves your sorry ass.
Joel took a deep breath, as though he needed to courage to call out her name.
"…Ellie…stop," he called softly, after a moment of consideration, having experienced the same thoughts. The ideas in his conscience raged against each other, but he knew that for now, what was most important was for both of them to calm down before he lost her forever.
"Pfft," she simply ignored, almost all the way to the steps.
Something in his mind snapped.
"Ellie…" he called more loudly with his teeth gritted as a warning, eyes glued to her figure, and slowly began to walk toward her.
Without even a glance of acknowledgement, she increased her pace.
"No…no, you don't get to fuckin' walk out on me like this after all the shit we been through!" his voice boomed behind her, as he quickly clamored up the steps to follow.
Joel's strides were much larger and powerful than her own, and as she sensed the aggression in his voice, the emotions of their argument caught up with her. Her arms trembled, and angry tears flooded her eyes, but as she increased her speed and rounded the corner toward her room, Joel's hand caught her arm.
She spun around to face him in his grasp.
"Get off me, Joel!" she yelled, and they glared at one another.
Once he had put enough fear into her, he released her, for fear of having gone too far.
Then, in a moment that shocked both of them, she pushed him, hard.
Joel bounded backward, eyes wide, before aggression colored his features. This push was different…she was bigger than the time at Tommy's, after all, and though he was accustomed to her physically lashing out, there was a certain rage in her eyes that he had never seen.
It almost hurt his feelings…but not quite.
"Are you done?" he growled.
Ellie stared through him, not quite finished, before she lunged again.
"Fucking asshole!" she spat, and pushed him again, even harder.
Joel stumbled backward into the wall, before his eyes went black.
"Ellie!" his voice boomed, before he grabbed her arms to keep her from hurting both of them.
She writhed in anger (though most of it was anger from regret on her own actions) before she finally stopped.
There was something there in his eyes, with him so close to her, which so closely resembled lust as a need, that it took her breath away.
Of course, anger mimicked arousal, and she could not be sure, but she felt the need to have him right then and there smolder as it spread from her throat to in between her thighs.
As her thoughts flowed, her lips parted, and suddenly Joel became aware of what it was that she felt. Truth be told, he did not know what feeling burned in the pit of his stomach, until her brow furrowed together, and a small, animalistic whimper escaped her lips. In response, his heart beat increased, and his eyes darkened, before the most obvious sign of arousal began to pulsate against the denim of his jeans.
Joel swallowed hard, before he tried to back away, but then Ellie lunged toward him, mouth full of some mix of sweetness and want as it met his. Soon, her hands ran through his hair, and she started to grind herself closer to his groin. Almost caught up in the moment, Joel continued to kiss her deeply with his hand on the small of her back, before her thigh rubbed against his erection.
He pulled away with force.
After he had glared at her long enough, he opened his mouth to speak.
"…Don't go doin' things you can't take back, girl," he warned, profoundly upset, though he was not sure if it was because she had done all this against his permission, or if it was due to the fact that he had found it to be so pleasurable.
Ellie's lips twisted into some devilish smile, before she pawed against his bulge. He swallowed hard, unable to understand how they had gotten here after all that had happened, but knew that his conscience was very near the point of being obsolete if she continued on in a similar fashion.
Fear of her own inexperience frightened her, but based on Joel's reaction, she had done something correct. After all, it was a basic animal need, and it had always formed naturally between people since the beginning of time.
After a moment of consideration, she began to toy with his zipper, before she moved up to the buttons on his shirt. The softness of her fingers on his skin left a tingling sensation that he had not felt in years, if ever, but soon he caught the slight gleam of panic in her eyes that signaled her own lack of experience.
"If this is what you want…I ain't fightin' you on it anymore…" he began, like he was putty in her hands, as a warning if she were to change her mind.
"It's what I want, Joel. I don't know how more clear I need to be," she said in exasperation, with a husky tone.
It was all he had the patience to wait for.
How much could a man deny his own feelings, when she had begged for it for so long? He had full out rejected it for so long, even before she had admitted it, so he refused to feel guilty any longer.
Panic swarmed in his eyes, before he huffed loudly.
Before she knew what had happened, he had aggressively swooped her up in his arms, facing each other, so that she could wrap her legs around him. With one hand under her behind, the other had made its way up her back, beneath her shirt. The skin on skin contact made her shudder from satisfaction, and after she had thrown her head back with a low moan, she met his mouth again.
Their mouths moved with one another until Joel had carried her into his room, and he threw her down on the bed in impatience.
He began to undo his own shirt, and in turn, Ellie assumed she should take her clothes off as well. They fumbled to get their clothes off quickly, as the need increased, and finally Joel lunged toward her on the bed, and pulled her ankles toward him.
The warmth of his hands caressed her breasts, before he took a nipple into his mouth. As he suckled, she found herself overwhelmed with heat, and put her nails on his back. Joel winced from the sudden sensation, before a small smile teased the corner of his lips.
Ellie almost felt herself blush from the sheer joy she felt from his happiness, but was ripped back into the rushed need to relive the throb between her legs. Like he had read her mind, Joel used the side of his thumb to rub against the wetness of her swollen want, and she arched her back from the touch.
As his fingers went deeper inside her, and she began to verbally moan in ecstasy, he suddenly paused, and pushed her legs up.
"What…" she murmured, unsure of why he had stopped, but suddenly yelped once she realized that he had moved his head between her thighs, as his tongue teased her flesh. The movement of his mouth consistently increased, and she felt some sort of thread begin to tighten, as her muscles turned to mush, like some slick, jelly-like wetness had encompassed her entire being.
Panic almost consumed her, as she felt her head spiral out of control, but then she suddenly realized that, not only was he in charge, and not only would he take care of her, but that she could let go without fear.
The small lapping sounds that came from his mouth, under her, paired with her own escalating climax, turned her small groans into pants. She felt Joel stop, before he sat up with a small frown, and placed his hand against her stomach.
"Are you coming?" he murmured softly, his voice alone seduced her, and she thought hard as she tried to clear her head.
"I don't know…it's like…I'm losing control…" she tried to explain, though it was evident to both of them that she was on the cusp of sheer pleasure.
"Nothing wrong…I just…" he thought hard, before he began to kiss her again.
What the fuck did you expect, Joel, she's never done this before.
"Umm…is it bad?" she asked, somewhat distracted.
"Shhh…no, no. Are you okay to suck me off for a minute?" he asked bluntly, and immediately felt inappropriate, before it faded away. Ellie's eyes widened, as she was not accustomed to Joel being explicit with her, but she smiled.
As she sat up, and took him in her mouth somewhat awkwardly, he had received his answer.
"Ahh…"
A slew of moans emitted from his mouth, and she was not sure if it was good or bad. She assumed it was because she had used too much teeth, so she tried to work on that without him having to say it.
In order to continue her charade of false confidence, she continued on for a few minutes. There was something powerful about it, as Joel's grunts of gratification urged her on, and she began to move more quickly as she felt him clench in her mouth.
"Uhh…I ain't gonna last much longer if you keep at it," he mumbled.
Ellie stopped awkwardly at the end of the bed. Joel chuckled slightly at the sight of her.
"C'mere darlin'," he urged her toward him, and she obeyed.
Once she was closer, Joel placed her under him, and kissed her softly as he fondled her breasts. Truth be told, he was trying to gain more stamina for what was about to come next, but Ellie's coos of delight suggested to him that she did not mind in the slightest.
After a moment, he grazed his palm upward along her wetness again, and it was slick, almost dripping.
"Wet for me, huh?" he taunted dangerously, and she swallowed hard.
"Yes, Joel. I…uh…I'm burning. Please," she gulped, not quite sure what she was begging for, but knew that he would understand how to interpret, and in turn fix, her problem.
With a glance of warning, he looked to her, and she nodded slightly. He moved his body closer to hers, and took his erection into his hand, as he guided it to her base. It effectively slipped inside somewhat, though her tightness prevented him from full entrance, as he suspected.
One last look of caution was thrown her way, before he thrusted quick and hard against her, and he ripped through as a yell escaped her mouth. Joel's hands continued to caress the various parts of her upper body, as he moved slowly inside her.
"You all right?" he asked above her, his brow furrowed in worry, and she nodded.
Soon, she placed her legs against his buttocks, and he continued to thrust effectively as she matched his rhythm. Some sort of extra need consumed him, as though he needed to pound more aggressively to effectively release himself. Yet, as he increased his pace, he could not sense what was the matter. Ellie continued to moan against his neck, but could feel his breaths quicken, as he grew frustrated on top of her.
When she pulled back to look, his face was snarled, and he quickly pulled out. Before she could ask, as she was very near her release, Joel spoke.
"Turn over," he grunted, and there was something so demanding and animalistic in his tone that she shuddered.
On queue, she did as she was told, and arched her back in confusion, before Joel gripped the sides of her hips, and suddenly slipped inside her from the new angle. The weight difference seemed to relive him, and he had found what he was looking for, as he realized he could effectively move harder and faster this way.
"Ah…there we go…there you are baby," he murmured with relief. The shaky tone of his grunts increased.
"You like that, hmm?" he added, as he heard the tone of her moaning change.
"Yes," she managed to agree, as she edged closer to some sort of explosion.
"Good, baby…good. You gonna come for me soon?" he asked, and placed one hand against her belly for support.
"I think so…I dunno…it's…" she tried to explain; her vision blurred, and she felt her insides twist to the rhythm of their fierce pounding.
"Let go…I gotcha. Lose control if you want. Go crazy," he urged her on from behind. Then, he moved the other hand to massage against her clit.
"Joel!" she emitted softly, like a gasp of air or a cry, as her muscles turned to jelly.
"C'mon…there you go baby…you're close," he promised through gritted teeth.
Suddenly, he felt her suck in a large breath, before he felt her walls convulse around him forcefully. He felt himself grow hot amid her own fluids, and Joel felt himself begin to lose control.
"All right...I, uh…I'm about to come," he swallowed hard, unsure of himself.
"Please…go ahead," she begged breathlessly.
Something about the demand sent him over the edge, and with a loud grunt, he tightened all his muscles and released himself inside her. Waves of joy, and warmth, and the smell of sweaty musk held them together as they rode out their orgasm.
Joel pulled out and lay down next to her, as he assessed her features with her eyes closed.
Fuckin' beautiful…
With a hand affectionately placed on her belly, he got closer to her, and planted a soft kiss to her forehead.
"You're a dream…you know that?" he mumbled, knowing well it was stupid and sappy, but feeling the need nonetheless.
"…I bet you say that to all the girls…" she deadpanned, still breathless.
They lay together in content silence, before Joel recalled what had brought them here to this very moment.
"You still mad at me?" he asked after a moment.
"I dunno…jury's still out," she whispered, before she shot him a knowing glance, and he chuckled.
"Everythin' changes now…you know that, right?" he began.
"I do…but let's just enjoy this while it lasts," she finally agreed.
"All right then," he mumbled, closing his eyes, before he felt her turn and snuggle her back into him.
Whole god-damned world can fall apart, but it's me and you til' the end, girl.
My updates have been so sporadic and crazy lately...but, oh well! Hope you enjoyed.