Title: Your Ex-Lover Is Dead (1/5)
Author: only_because3
Main Characters/Pairings: Quinn/Rachel, Quinn/Puck
Rating: T (for now)
Summary: AU Set in the 1940s. "Have you ever thought about what you would've done if you hadn't had Beth? What you'd be doing now if we hadn't met?"
Author's Note: So this is sort of a fill for a prompt I saw on the glee_kink_meme over on livejournal but not really. The prompt was really basic and this turned into an epic monster lol I was going to wait until I finished it completely and post it as a oneshot but I told myself I'd finish before I went back to school but unfortunately, I didn't finish up the ending. So I figured I'd break it up into five parts (so I have a little more time to tweak things and finish it up). Anyway, I tried to get this as historically accurate as possible (though this part doesn't have many specifics). Enjoy!
The first time Quinn ever sees her is when she's seeing her husband off. She's dressed in an off-white suit that's more masculine than her own feminine one; Instead of a skirt, she wears high waist slacks (that, when Quinn studies the woman further, makes her appear taller than she probably is) and her suit jacket is relaxed and open. Her hair is in brown curls and she hugs the man she's with tightly (he buries his face in her mess of hair and looks like he doesn't want to let go). She's the first to pull away and Quinn notices just how hard the tall man is trying to keep it together here at the train station. Poor boy, she thinks. She'd be scared shitless if she were being shipped off to a war too.
"I can't wait to kill those fuckers." She narrows her eyes and turns to Noah, slapping his shoulder. "What? Come on Quinn, you've heard what they're doing to people."
She sighs and nods, hands moving to straighten his tie (goodness he can barely tie his tie, how on earth is he going to make it overseas?). "I know but that's no reason to use such language in front of me." She lets out another breath and then adjusts her small hat, hands moving then to run down her neatly pressed yellow jacket and skirt. The train whistle blows and she fakes a smile, her white teeth poking out from behind red lips. "Please come back alive Noah."
He smirks like the cocky bastard he is and tells her that of course he'll come back alive. "I'm ten times stronger than half these dudes." He kisses her one last time before grabbing his duffle from the ground. "I love ya Quinn."
Her smile becomes a little less fake. "I love you too."
He trudges off and ends up walking with the tall boy who was with the small brunette. She takes a deep breath and holds it in, only releasing it once she can no longer see the boy she's known since she was 13. She clears her throat and tugs on the hem of her suit jacket, gloved hands smoothing over the fabric even though it's perfect. Her eyes raise and meet that of the tan young woman who can't be much older than her, if that. She gives Quinn a crooked smile, hands shoved into her pant pockets. Hazel eyes widen in surprise for a moment but then she finds her voice and calls, "Husband?"
She shakes her head. "Boyfriend." Quinn nods and the other girl strolls over to her, extending her bare hand. "Rachel."
"Quinn Puckerman," she answers, gloved hand grasping the extended one. Rachel raises an eyebrow, eyes inspecting the pale blonde's face. "Husband." She tilts her head in the direction of their long gone men and Rachel smiles.
"Well, it's nice to meet you Quinn. Let's hope that we'll see each other here again when our boys come home." She smiles and Quinn does too, eyes focused on the naked lips in front of her.
And then just like that, she walks away, leaving Quinn and a handful of other abandoned women behind.
The next time Quinn sees her, she's wrestling with Beth just outside the supermarket. Her 'bundle of joy' has been fighting with her tooth and nail the whole way to the store because she's getting to the age where this whole stroller thing isn't working for her anymore. "Out!" Quinn sighs tiredly and leans down, pushing her daughter back in her seat.
"You won't be able to keep up with me if you walk," she lectures, watching as Beth struggles again with all of her one and a half year old might. The older blonde gives up momentarily, grabbing her purse and pulling out the rationing coupons she's been given. She's running low on the clothing coupons she realizes now, frowning as she thumbs through the booklet. She looks down at Beth who's trying to escape once more, inspecting the clothes the little girl is wearing. Quinn may have to start tearing apart the outfits Beth has already grown out of and sew her some new ones if she keeps growing as fast as she is.
"Hey!" Both Quinn and her look a like spawn glance up, eyes focusing on the brunette she had seen at the train station a week ago. The next thing Quinn notices is the elderly woman behind her, wrinkled hand falling quickly back to her side. She moves the rations booklet to her chest, pushing Beth forward as she takes a huge step away from the elderly woman who glares past her. "Go away old woman!" Rachel marches up to the blondes, hands on her hips as she stares the woman down.
Eventually the woman, who reminds Quinn an awful lot of Grandma Fabray, stalks off, rounding the corner once she reaches the small hardware store. She turns to thank the brunette but is cut off when she notices that she still looks angry. "Keep those close to you. People have been stealing them left and right," she lectures and Quinn nods. Rachel glances back to reassure that the old woman is gone before turning her attention back to the two girls in front of her.
Rachel smiles down at the little girl, running the back of her index finger along Beth's rosy cheek. "She's a cutie," the brunette muses before she stands back up. "Just like her mom."
Quinn ducks her head slightly, blushing as she murmurs a thank you. She watches Rachel curiously, noticing how relaxed and non-judgmental she is around Beth. Not many people accepted the fact that she had her daughter so young; she had been 16 when she got pregnant and her entire family forced her to marry Noah once they started speaking to her again. And she's seen the looks she gets in stores when Beth calls her momma, those looks that make her feel like trash. But Rachel, this woman she's only met once before, is standing here making funny faces at her little girl in the stroller like it's completely normal for an 18 year old to have an almost two year old child.
Beth giggles from her seat, small hands reaching up for the shorter woman. "May I," Rachel asks, Quinn looking at her daughter wide eyed as she nods. Rachel picks up the tiny blonde, smiling as Beth starts playing with chocolate curls, baby teeth in full view.
"She likes you," Quinn says, obviously flabbergasted by the sight before her. "She doesn't like anybody… She barely likes me sometimes."
"You're her mother, she loves you."
Quinn smiles before she glances at her wrist watch. "It's almost noon! I should let you go about your day."
"I wasn't up to anything today. I'm not up to anything anymore actually, now that Finn's gone. If you'd like, I can help you with your shopping. Keep Beth entertained and keep away any greedy old women," she offers lightly, placing the small girl back into the stroller.
"I don't think I've noticed your accent before." It's Rachel's turn to look down, kicking a pebble on the ground. "Where are you from?"
"Germany." Quinn clutches the stroller so tight that her knuckles turn white. Her whole body tenses as she looks at Rachel closely. She knew that Rachel was Jewish, that much was obvious, but Quinn assumed that she was from somewhere here, somewhere that Quinn hadn't been and therefore couldn't place the accent.
"Is your family here with you?"
She shakes her head. "They sent me over here about four, four and a half years ago. They're still in Germany."
Quinn swallows hard, leaning down to run her fingers through Beth's silky strands. She wants to ask if she's heard from them but Quinn's not stupid. She knows that there is no hope when it comes to anyone different in Nazi occupied Europe. So she settles on asking the next question that comes to her mind. "Who are you living with?"
"I'm staying with Finn's mother. I'm trying to help her while he's gone but there's not much to do around the house since we're both home and Finn isn't there to dirty it."
Quinn nods before turning inside the store, motioning for Rachel to join her.
She sets up Beth with a few toys in the middle of the kitchen before she turns her attention to the groceries she bought. She didn't buy much but she still spent two hours walking around the store with Rachel. That girl was definitely something different. Maybe it's because she's not from here or maybe it's because she just doesn't care, but she's a lot more candid than anyone Quinn's ever met.
While they were in the store, she asked an older woman at the end of the aisle what she was starting at and then proceeded in explaining just how rude it was to openly gape at someone, especially someone who was busy trying to shop and take care of her child. That was another thing Quinn noticed, how well versed Rachel was in the English language. ("Finn and his mother spent a lot of time helping me with it. I already knew a little thanks to my father but they helped me with my pronunciation and everything."
"Are you this verbose in German too," Quinn asked as politely as she could and Rachel gave her a small smile.
"I talk a lot in both languages. I'm sure if I was given enough time I could talk your ear off in any language.")
Another thing Quinn noticed was how… careless Rachel was about her appearance. Quinn rarely left the house without some form of make up on her face (her mother always told her that leaving the house with a naked face meant that she was either lazy or poor and Fabrays were neither) and her hair was always done if she was leaving the house. The brunette on the other hand let her hair fall around her shoulders in a curly mess, though she did have her hair pinned on the sides of her head in order to keep the brown locks out of her face. Rachel's face, on both occasions, were void of make up, making Quinn believe that she didn't wear make up ever (or at least not on a day to day basis). Not that she needed any. Quinn thought that she looked beautiful both times she's seen her.
Quinn finished putting away all the groceries and glanced at the clock. It was a little past four meaning that all the extra time she spent at the store had completely ruined her routine. "Beth, do you want to help me pick the veggies?" Her daughter looks between the doll in her hands and Quinn's outstretched hand before sighing. Quinn stares at Beth curiously, watching as the small girl walks to the back door, dragging her doll behind her. "You, my child, are quite peculiar." Beth looks almost annoyed that they haven't gone outside yet and Quinn sighs before grabbing their jackets.
Once Beth is bundled up, Quinn opens the door and attempts to help the toddler down the steps but the tiny blonde ignores the outstretched hand. Instead, she sits down on the edge of the first step before turning around and crawling down the first step backwards. She repeats the process with the second step and when her feet hit the dirt, she stands up slowly, looking quite proud that she made it down the steps on her own.
"Sometimes I think you don't even need me," Quinn mumbles to herself as she follows her daughter to the garden. It amazes her sometimes just how independent and distant Beth is from her. She asked her mom once when Beth was a little smaller if she or her sister had been so distant and, judging by the look on her mother's face, neither of them acted like this. Quinn hasn't decided yet if this is a good thing or not. On the one hand, it sort of crushes her heart that Beth almost always wants nothing to do with her. Beth is her daughter and she is her mother. Shouldn't little girls want to spend time with their mother? Quinn knows she's not an amazing mom but it makes her feel like she's failed when Beth wants to do something on her own and away from her.
On the other hand, a sense of relief washes over her when she realizes how independent Beth is. Quinn has always been dependent on someone. First her mother, who literally provided her with life and food for the first two years of her life. Then her father, who always spoiled her and her sister and made sure they always had enough of everything. And finally Noah, who is providing her with everything she could need now. Honestly, it's horrible knowing that she's never been able to stand on her own to feet. She's always had a man to catch her if she fell, to give her food when she's hungry, to clothe her when she's naked. But here her daughter is, not even two, and already fending for herself more than Quinn ever has.
"Momma!" Quinn blinks, snapping out of her daze and bends down to look at the zucchini in Beth's hands.
Later that night, Rachel stops by the house with a loaf of banana bread in her hands. "I hope you don't find it rude that I stopped by," she says when Quinn opens the door.
"Of course not! I told you to stop by whenever. Come on in. Have you eaten yet? I just served Beth and me."
"I wasn't sure if you really meant for me to stop by whenever or if you were using an expression. That is an expression isn't it?" Quinn smiles and nods, taking the bread from Rachel so that the brunette can take off her coat. "I would love to have some dinner if you have enough to spare."
"I haven't gotten used to only cooking for two quite yet." Quinn motions for Rachel to follow her and tells her to sit down at the table. "Do you eat meatloaf? If not I have plenty of mashed potatoes and peas."
"I'll eat whatever you have to offer. After I moved here I realized it wasn't realistic to keep the diet I had back home." Quinn nods and fills up a plate for her new friend.
"Next time I'll make sure I cook something you can eat guilt free. Whenever Noah's mother and sister come over, I have to cook a kosher meal. I have to prep everything a little earlier than I normally do, but it's not any trouble."
"That would be really nice. Mrs. Hudson tried to make latkes once but that didn't end so well." Quinn puts the plate down in front of her before returning to her seat. "She's a wonderful cook but it's hard for her to learn new things."
"I moved in with Noah's family when I was pregnant and she would teach me a new meal everyday. She's very proud of my latke abilities actually," she answers with a small smile. "Where is Mrs. Hudson? I would've assumed that you two would eat dinner together."
"Normally we do but she's volunteering at their church tonight. She's helping them set up for some function and is also cooking dinner for everyone else who's volunteering. I would just eat at home, I don't care to go to their church though I'm sure it's lovely, but I had such a nice day with you two that I figured I would come by."
"At least she's finding something to do with her time. Is Mr. Hudson in the war too?" Quinn notices Beth's plate is still relatively full and so she uses her own fork to scoop up some mashed potatoes and holds them in front of Beth's mouth.
"Actually Mr. Hudson died in the first war."
"Oh…"
Rachel shrugs and takes a bite of the peas on her plate. "I think that's why Mrs. Hudson is trying to do so much. She doesn't want to think about him possibly not coming home like her husband."
It's quiet between them for a bit as Quinn tries to get Beth to finish her dinner and Rachel picks at the small slab of meatloaf on her plate. "How long have you known Finn?"
"I met Finn the day I came to America. I docked in New York and wandered around for a few hours. I was supposed to meet my uncle but I never found him. I ended up walking around the city and ended up in front of a corner store. Finn came out, he had been visiting his grandmother, and asked if I needed help… I've been with the Hudsons ever since."
"They just took you in?" Quinn's parents would never do that. They only look out for their own, everyone else be damned. "Did you ever find your family?" Quinn almost apologizes for all the questions but Rachel doesn't seem bothered by it at all.
"Mrs. Hudson is a wonderful woman. She didn't even consider leaving until I found my family or went back with them. And since I couldn't track down my uncle, he probably changed his name when he came here or they changed his name, whatever the case, I decided to come back here with them."
"You look about my age… You must've been a child when you came here."
Rachel nodded, setting her fork down on the edge of the plate. "I was thirteen. It's wasn't too bad. Scary but I'm sure me being lost in a new country isn't as scary as where I'd be if I stayed in Germany."
Quinn swallows hard. It's weird to hear the other girl talk so lightly of what's happening to her home, to her parents, her people. She just sounds so detached for someone who should care more than anyone. It's almost like she's adopted the American view of the way. When Quinn hears people talking at church or on the radio, they talk more about the Japanese and what's happening over there rather than what's happening in Europe. She supposes it makes sense, that Americans would be more concerned with the people that actually bombed their land rather than the evil happening in Europe.
Or maybe Rachel's just stopped thinking of Europe, of Germany, as home. And honestly, Quinn can't blame her for wanting to revoke that place as her home now.
Rachel wipes her mouth with her napkin before placing it back in her lap. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable Quinn. It's just easier to act like I don't care most of the time than admit that I know my parents are dead already or in one of those camps."
Quinn's eyebrows scrunch together, a frown setting into her perfect skin. "I…" She sighs and wipes some mashed potatoes off of Beth's cheek. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be apologizing for."
"I'm sorry that you're in this situation. Nobody should have to have a thought like that in the back of their mind. Though I suppose that's not really something that can be pushed to the back of your mind."
"No, no one should. But it's something we both have to deal with. Surely you must worry about Noah fighting over there. He's Jewish himself and he's going into the heart of it all."
Quinn opens her mouth to say that of course she's worried about her husband (he is off to fight in a war) before she stops herself. "Oh." she whispers, not even reacting when Beth drops a few peas onto Quinn's dress. Truth be told, Quinn hadn't thought about it like that. Noah wasn't just a soldier fighting in a war; he was Jewish and fighting in Nazi occupied Europe.
"Quinn?"
"I hadn't realized that… Oh my goodness."
Rachel gets up from her seat, swatting Beth's hand as the little girl tries to drop more peas into her mother's lap. "I'm sorry Quinn. I just thought…" Quinn waves her hand in the air and takes in a deep breath.
"I should have realized that. I don't know why I didn't. I think I was just so focused on the fact that he was a soldier. Not that he was Jewish." Rachel squeezes Quinn's shoulder and the blonde smiles carefully before looking into her lap. "Beth!"
The little girl giggles next to her as Quinn gathers the vegetable on her dress. "At least we can go through this together, hm?" Quinn nods, her cautious smile getting a little bigger.