Hidekaz Himaruya owns Axis Powers Hetalia. If you see any spelling/grammatical/historical/cultural errors, please do correct me! While most of my stories are blunt, this one is one of the bluntest (it doesn't help that this was my first to this fandom). I hope it still reads well.
Were You Looking for an Answer?
In yet another instance that involved everyone at the world meeting room. Well, almost everyone. No one was fooled by Germany's attempt to explain how not empty a certain seat was. A piece of paper with a half-assed scribble of Italy's face sitting on his vacant chair did not qualify as Italy existing there at this moment for the rest of the countries.
"Even my stick figures look better than that." France bragged to Germany. "In fact, my stick figures have been known to swoon men, and make women cry in ecstasy-"
"Will you shut your God-dammed trap, France?" England growled as he slammed his hands against the table causing Canada to whimper. "Nobody bloody cares!"
"But my dear stupid England, everyone cares about France!"
"No we don't!" "Go to hell!" "Fuck you!" "I hate you!" and "Become one with Russia!" Echoed all around the board. Well, except for the last one. It was said by one man. But considering his size and how his voice tended to travel it was much the same as if there were multiple Russians.
God forbid.
"It doesn't matter anyways," England groaned as America jumped up from his seat and kicked it away, instantly grabbing everyone's attention with the sound of splintering wood, "because everyone loves America best!" He cheered, punching his fist into the air.
Laughter rung through the board shortly followed after, "I hate you!" "You're kidding!" "Fuck you!" "You're worse!" and "Become one with Russia!"
"How could this be? I'm such a wonderful person!" America attempted to shout louder than Russia. He was close, but didn't succeed the wind chill factor.
"Just get a new chair and shut up, dammit." UK hissed at America.
"Fine, I'll get a chair." America huffed. "And it will be the most awesome chair ever!"
"Whatever." England sat back down.
"Good luck~!" France giggled. America, who has thus far ignored all negative comebacks, gave France a thumbs up before searching the room for 'an awesome chair'. But considering how crowded the room was, each chair seemed to be claimed.
"Hey, hey Japan." He poked the small country on the shoulder.
"Why, good afternoon America." Japan gave America a nod, "What is it that you need?" America almost went cross eyed suddenly being showered with politeness.
"Can you make me a chair? Or can I have yours?" Japan, who overheard the conversation (read: shouting) from earlier, already planned for this possibility. He hated to do this, but there was no other option. He hoped Italy would understand...
"Why America, there is a free seat over by Germany." Japan gave a small motion with his right hand. His left was hiding the latest issue of Jump magazine. He wasn't in terms with himself why he enjoyed the things he did, so for now, he kept such things a secret from the other countries. Alas, Japan had no idea what the other countries already knew and thought about him.
Closet fan.
"True..." America stroked his hairless chin. "But I thought, you know, we could share a seat or something."He grinned. "I'd even let you sit in my lap!" Japan swallowed a gasp and felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn't sure why, but whatever it was he decided it must've been dread. He crammed the magazine between his legs and the chair.
"W-wouldn't that be terribly rude of me?" Japan managed to fumble out.
"Rude?" America rose an eyebrow. "You Asian countries and your politeness! I'm the one asking here! So do not worry!" America laughed, Japan shifted uncomfortably. He wasn't sure how to tell America to 'Just please go away'. Because all the other hints were not working.
"My chair is but a prototype right now," he attempted plan C, "It will not handle our combined weight. Italy's chair however, is very nice..."
"So modest Japan!" America laughed and began to pat Japan's head. "Such a perfectionist!" Japan's hand itched for his sword, but as his hand touched air he was reminded it was left in the next room with Hungary's pan, America's nukes and Austria's glasses. After the last meeting, China and UK insisted that bringing such things was annoying and too dangerous.
"Of course, that means you can't bring your stupid little sticks England..."
"They are called batons, you French bastard!" UK flipped the blond off.
"Yea, you tell him!" Switzerland encouraged.
Meanwhile, at the front of the table, Germany was arguing with South Italy.
"What have you done with my little brother?"
"Nothing!" Germany barked back. "Really, it's nothing!"
"If it's nothing then why did you hide the fact that he isn't here?" He shoved the drawing into Germany's face, "Explain yourself!"
"W-well..." As the thoughts of what happened the previous night rushed into Germany's mind a sea of blush ran over his face. "It's none of your business! W-we have more important matters to-" South Italy narrowed his eyes.
"Do you want to know what true pain feels like?" South Italy nearly shouted. America blinked, he recalled Lithuania telling him something vaguely similar...
"It's Russia! He's back! Ahhh! Oh God Russia!"
Something happened after that, but America couldn't remember what. It was like it was too terrifying to remember and so forgot about it. Which confused America, as he thought there was nothing he couldn't handle. Lost in thought, he sat down on Japan.
"A-America!"
"I wonder what happened to Italy?" England might as well have said it to himself, considering how quietly he said it. He looked back over to America, who was now staring out into space with a distressed Japan underneath him. Which didn't bother him one bit, he told himself. America can do whatever he likes to Japan...
But UK wondered what America thought about on his rare occasions of silence, just sitting there looking at the sky as if there wasn't a ceiling in between. He also wondered why on occasion America would have sparkles floating around him, or what seemed to be a small fog around his face. It reminded him of those old romance films...
As soon as that thought entered his mind however, he mentally slapped himself and tried to focus at the matter at hand. Whatever that was.
"I believe Italy and Germany are actually having a quarrel." Grinned Prussia farther down the table. No one knew why he was there. "Serves him right."
"Oh dear." Hungary pouted as she tugged on Austria's arm. 'Germany and Italy seemed to be getting along so well recently! Have my plans of a Germany/Italy/Austria spread all but failed?'
Meanwhile, Austria pondered if he could sit in the empty seat.
'It matters not why he isn't here,' he thought, 'it's none of my business. Besides, I'm a better adviser for Germany anyways-' As he attempted to get up however, Hungary's iron grip held. To his horror, her grip tightened the greater the distance was to his ass and his seat. Sighing, he sat back down. Her grip relaxed, if only slightly. Austria wondered when he would be able to feel his arm once more.
He also wondered when this meeting would end.
He missed his piano.