Greeting everyone! I am working on the sequel. It is eight pages and growing at this point. Working on it on and off. However, the one-shots like this one keep creeping into my brain at the wee hours of the night. Silly death knight crack combined with a friend going gaga over yaoi, had this silly piece born. That and I like to torture poor Darion. No harm in that!
Excuse the grammar mistakes. I wrote this at midnight when I was half asleep and did a half-hearted editing job. Because as an author, I have my momments to be lazy like that.
Anyways, this story will change your life so don't read it unless you are ready to be enlightened. Please enjoy another short silly fanfic...
Ode to an Empty Seat
written at a sleep deprived hour by Le Pomme
Thassarian sat back with Koltira and Darion, the three drinking in silence at a table for four. They were at the Ebon Hold at their usual table. It was their table since the creation of the knights under the Lich King. When Acherus was made, this table was blessed as their table and it was inscribed in the stars that no one but those of the sacred table's secret brotherhood may sit at it. It was an unwritten ancient covenant between man and table. Or more, death knight and table. Whatever the case, it was their table.
Yet, after the battle of Light's Hope Chapel, it hadn't been the same. There was an empty seat that just could not be filled. It was a void in their table that none of them wanted to talk about but keenly felt it. Thassarian glanced sideways at the empty spot. Darion glowered at it. Koltira stared at it in a contemplative manner as he sipped his drink. The empty seat remained empty.
Thassarian let out a sigh, "I know Orbaz is the enemy and he betrayed us...but..."
"It just isn't the same without him," Koltira finished with a sigh, "I feel the same. We always sat together. This was our spot,"
Darion snorted, "Oh we can replace him. Just get a bastard with a bad attitude and the emotions of a rock,"
"You mean you?" Koltira drawled with a smirk, earning a glare from the Highlord.
"Mmmm...maybe we should replace him," Thassarian said, "It is so odd to have that empty spot and to keep thinking he is going to be sitting there,"
The Highlord rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a moment, "...could always kill him and raise him as a ghoul,"
"No...no ghouls at the table," Koltira said with a frown, "They always manage to make the air smell like decaying cabbages and sweltering dead skunk,"
"true,"Thassarian said, "Maybe we could just take his armor and make like...an Orbaz dummy?"
"So we can have tea parties? Shall we make an Instructor Razuvious and Lich King doll while we are at it and pretend we are all little mindless peons again?" Darion said snidely rolling his eyes, "Who cares about the swine Orbaz?"
"Yeah yeah...you know, I always wondered why he fled with the Scourge," Thassarian said idly.
Koltira shrugged, "Probably promises of power and what not..."
Darion remained silent sipping his drink, "No..." he paused. He knew the reason why Orbaz Bloodbane had fled with his tail between his legs.
It had begun right before the charge to Light's Hope Chapel. In those days, Darion had been akin to a vegetable. A crabby vegetable. Thassarian always claimed that during those days he thought Darion was part man-eating eggplant. Why an eggplant, he didn't know. It was probably being under the Lich King and being unable to form the most coherent thought. That was just how things were. You tried to be witty and the wit died as your brain just decided to spout garbled garbage. Anything that didn't do with the Lich King's will came out ridiculous was Darion's thoughts.
They had been sitting there, waiting for the signal. Orbaz had rode up next to him with a grin Orbaz always had been at his side like a shadow, always watching him and like a cat. At times Darion had wondered if he was going to jump into his lap and purr like one nuzzling him for pets. The thought was disturbing to say the least. Perhaps that is why he said what he did.
"Looks like a slaughter doesn't it Highlord?" Orbaz said eagerly.
Darion turned to stare at him blankly. He just kept staring as the smile slowly faded from Orbaz's face and the other death knight arched an eyebrow at the Highlord. The air was still as Darion pursed his lips and leaned forward jabbing Orbaz in the chest, "I hate your face," he bluntly drawled.
Orbaz blinked, eyes widening a bit, "...what?"
"Your face it is so...it looks like an ogre's ass," Darion stated, "It wider then an abominations stomach, paler than the breasts of a banshee and...I just don't like. In fact, I've never liked your face,"
The lower ranked death knight was flabbergasted. He sat back in his saddle, a flicker of genuine hurt seen on his face, "My...my Highlord! Have I not been loyal? I've eaten at the same table with you for years! We are brothers in arms!"
"...I don't like you. I never did. I think you are trying to hit on me now," Darion drawled, not aware of where these thoughts were coming from. He attested it to stress. When he got moody he had a habit of not shutting up and speaking his mind.
"Darion! You are talking nonsense! You don't mean what you are saying!" Orbaz sputtered in alarm, "Why would you say such things-"
"I always mean what I say and no, I don't want to kiss you," the Highlord snapped, "Because your face is horrible. Maybe if you wore a paper bag on it a ghoul would sleep with you...just...go away. Your face is making me want to kill myself,"
Orbaz silently stared at Darion, eyes narrowing and he leaned forward angrily, "I didn't say I wanted to kiss you! I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last unliving thing on Azeroth you pompous ass! I've never liked you either! You have all the personality of a whinny bitch!"
"...takes one to know one," Darion sneered back, "And I'm the Highlord, Orbaz and now because of your stupid face and your insubordination, when we get back, I'll have you in the kitchens...doing something. Something awful, but I just have to think about it..."
The Highlord edged his mount forward to the top of the hill pondering, "Hmm...wonder if that living mold is still trying to eat the ghouls. You could scrub that off with a toothbrush...or maybe we can remove your face. Yes...that would work..."
Orbaz only gawked at Darion, fear and hurt clearly etched on his face as he slumped down in his saddle. The Highlord just sighed and pulled out the Ashbringer, raising it high in the air as the appointed hour of the attack fell upon them. He would think about it later.
Yet later turned out to be a long time later. Orbaz had already fled thinking that Darion's mind was still on punishing him and that the Highlord despised him for no good reason after they regained their sense. The fact was Darion didn't even remember what the whole thing had been about. He was only reminded it about when he got a letter from Orbaz much latter in Northrend that had been a pretty lengthy accusation of how Orbaz claimed Darion had been leading him on. The letter was a declaration of scorned love. It had been actually...a little bit creepy that Orbaz had honestly had a crush on him. It would explain why Orbaz always had stalked him back in the days under the Lich King...
"Darion?" Thassarian asked, noting the Highlord's pensive expression.
Darion jolted and looked at Thassarian, "It was nothing. I was thinking about why Orbaz left. I think it is because I told him his face looked ugly. He took it personally I think, very personally,"
Koltira snorted, "Heh, he never was as pretty as us eh?"
Thassarian snickered, "Oh yes, a trio of pretty single death knights. Orbaz just joined us one day. Always thought he was kind of clingy. Always following Darion around..."
"Oh yes," Koltira chuckled, "His man crush on the Highlord, yes?" he joked.
Darion rolled his eyes, "Actually he did,"
There was silence at the table before Thassarian and Koltira burst out laughing. Darion sat back smirking slightly, "Well, I guess it couldn't be helped. I am pretty damn gorgeous," the Highlord said with a smug look, "I knock the living and unlving stone cold dead,"
"Until they learn how much of a jackass you are," Thassarian put in with a grin. He laughed as Darion kicked at his chair with a scowl.
Koltira shrugged leaning back, putting his feet on the table, "Maybe we don't need Orbaz. I'm sure we can find someone else to replace the spot at our table,"
Thassarian nodded, "Yeah...one day. Not a major concern now,"
"Yeah," Darion agreed, pausing to take a sip of his drink, "I prefer the silence of the company now,"
Thus the table fell back into that comfortable silence, the gap for now, ignored again. However there was something hanging over the table, specifically over Thassarian. His brow was furrowed in thought. He turned to Darion, "You know, Orbaz having a crush on you finally explains why he used to be yelling your name in the bathroom..."
the only sound then was the Highlord Darion Mograine choking on his drink and Koltira laughing until he started to cry. It was just another normal day at Acherus.