Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue. Deal?
Believe in Love
"Hey guys, you know what?"
"No, but I'm sure the fabulous Mr. Prongs is about to tell us the newest news of all."
"Umm… Padfoot? Are you aware that 'newest news' is a really strange expression?"
"Oh Remus, do you really have to give us lessons now? I mean, it is almost midnight and even Professor McGonagall wouldn't try teaching us anything at this time of the night. She would more likely tell us off for not being asleep yet. So stop teaching us things about word choice."
"Leave Remus alone, Wormtail! We don't tell you off every time you make a stupid joke either. Besides, McGonagall wouldn't be able to complain about us right now. We are in bed, the lights are out and besides, we are in seventh year, not in first year."
"You do tell me off every time I tell a joke, Padfoot. But sorry, I didn't want to attack Remus or anything; you don't have to protect him."
"I'm not protecting him! You just always start commenting on everything he says and it's really annoying. Sometimes I wish you were still like you used to be, a silent tag along!"
"I was never a tag along! Maybe quiet but I didn't do everything you wanted me to do!"
"You were just too afraid or you would have!"
"Can't the two of you ever stop arguing? I was trying to say something."
"Sorry James."
"Would the greatest of all brave Gryffindors, the noble James Horace Potter, accept the humble apology of the lowly Sirius Orion Black and continue with his magnificent speech?"
"Do you have to point out the fact that my middle name will always remind me of a certain potions teacher? Anyway, what I was going to say is that I'm in love."
"Do you really think that is great news? We all know that you've been in love with Lily since the middle of second year."
"It is great news, my dearest Moony, because she just happens to like me back."
"How did she show it this time? Did she slap you, hex you or really decide to ask the giant squid out?"
"Believe it or not, Padfoot, we had a real conversation today and she admitted she likes me and agreed to come to Hogsmeade with me next weekend."
"You do know that the Imperius curse is forbidden?"
"Ha ha, very funny, Dogbreath. I'm serious, it is true."
"You're really going out with Evans? With Evans? I can't believe it!"
"Calm down Peter, it's James that is going out with her, not you. And I think you should start calling her Lily now that she and Prongs are Hogwarts' newest couple. Anyways, I'm glad for you, James, though it really was only a matter of time."
"Yeah, I'm glad too, like Moony said: but for our ears. I was getting sick of all this talk about how much you love her. I'm glad that is finally over, even if we have to watch you stick your tongue down her throat every day now."
"You almost sound bitter, Padfoot."
"Ooooh, somebody is jealous!"
"I'm not bitter, Moony, and whatever you say, Wormtail, I'm definitely not jealous. It's just that I don't believe in love. I guess it might be nice for a while if you have somebody but it doesn't last. It is only an illusion that you will love somebody for all your life and will live together happily ever after, or at least until you die. I don't believe in that fairytale, it just doesn't happen."
"You can tell me anything you like, Sirius. Lily and I will, you will see. You probably just haven't met the right girl, then you will feel the same way."
"I won't, and I doubt that there is such thing as 'the right girl' for me out there."
"Come on, you don't really believe that yourself, do you? You are only trying to convince yourself that you don't need anybody else to be happy. I was doing the same before I met Marissa."
" I know that I need others to be truly happy; I need you guys. But you don't have to point out again and again that you were the first of us who really had a girlfriend, Wormtail."
"What about all those girls you keep going out with, Sirius? Wasn't there anyone you cared about?"
"No, there wasn't anyone, Moony."
"Nobody?"
"Nobody."
"Then why did you go out with them?"
"Boredom. I just felt like it. And you don't have to ask so reproachfully, Moony, they all knew what I'm like and that it doesn't really mean anything, so I didn't hurt any of them by it."
"I wasn't reproachful."
"Oh. I just thought you sounded a bit like it. Sorry."
"Maybe if you stop jumping from one to another, you will find a girl that really means something to you."
"I won't, James. I told you that already. There just isn't any girl out there that will change my mind about this topic."
"But do you really feel like never staying with the same girl for more than a few days at the most? Do you want to go on like that until you are old and grey?"
"I don't know. But if I don't feel like it anymore I can just stay alone, can't I?"
"I guess you can but you'll probably be lonely quite soon."
"Well, then I can start my old habits again. And anyways, I'll always have you guys, won't I?"
"But most of us already have girlfriends and then you will probably feel left out because you don't have all of our attention anymore. You will be an annoying prat, even more than you already are. I don't think you want to be the only one left without a partner."
"Moony doesn't have anyone either."
"But he doesn't object to the idea of a girlfriend as you do and there are plenty of girls waiting for him to take the first step."
"Which he hasn't taken. As long as Moony doesn't have anyone yet, I won't either."
"Zzzzzzzz…"
"Moony, is that you? You've been silent for so long."
"No, I was listening to you and James discussing the absence of my love life. That has to be Peter."
"And Moony wouldn't have been able to answer you if he had fallen asleep."
"Oh. Right."
"Anyway, I think Wormtail has the right idea for once. I'm going to fall asleep in the middle of a sentence if we don't stop talking soon. 'Night, Padfoot. 'Night, Moony."
"'Night."
"'Night."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Moony? Are you still awake?"
"Mmm."
"Do you believe in love? You didn't really say anything."
"I don't really know. I know that there is something like love but it is one of the most cruel and sarcastic things there are."
"Sarcastic?"
"Well, you see I think there is something like deep love that makes you want to do anything for the other person but love always twists things in such strange ways that you keep getting hurt and that the other person will never fall in love with you. You have to watch how almost everybody in the world has a better chance than you of getting even a simple kiss. And still, you can't help loving that person."
"You feel that way about somebody?"
"I'm afraid I do."
"So you don't really believe in love?"
"Not in the kind of 'and they lived happily ever after love' that James and Peter believe in, no."
"I see."
"What you said about love… it's because of your family, isn't it?"
"…"
"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"No, it's okay, I was just thinking about it. I haven't really thought about it that way. "
"I was just thinking when you and James were discussing. After all, you sounded as if you were extremely disappointed by love but on the other side, you really never seemed to have cared for any of those girls."
"It probably is, my family consisted mainly of arguments, what else can you expect with pureblood marriages? The only times when my parents really agreed was when they told me to stay away from the other Gryffindors and spend more time with purebloods instead. You are right, I never had a positive example of what love can be like."
"So you are still under their influence in a certain way."
"I just don't want to let anybody come too close to me. That's why I dump all those girls after one or two days; being around them for a longer while starts making me restless and it just doesn't feel right. I'm disgusted by them and by myself so I break up and move on before anyone gets hurt."
"I always thought you just got bored by them."
"No, it wasn't boredom. The only people I can stand being close to for a longer period of time are James, Peter and you. And Peter also has a way of acting that I just have to get away from sometimes. So does James when he acts like he is better than everyone else. It is only you, I guess. It's just different around you, I don't even really know why I'm telling you all this."
"You have the same effect on me. I can tell you my twisted thoughts like what I think about love and still feel comfortable because I think you understand me."
"So… do you feel the same way about the person you love?"
"Well, I think that would be another thing love is about, besides being torture. And you think that you really are not able to believe in love?"
"I'm not sure. If I go along with your explanation of love, I think I might be able to say that I do think love is possible in a certain way, yes."
"So you think you might feel that way about somebody?"
" Actually, I think I do."
"You do? And it isn't one of those girls you snogged with?"
"It isn't, I wasn't lying when I said that they didn't mean anything to me. I wouldn't just go and snog this person, the whole thing means too much to me. I wouldn't want to ruin everything by being that stupid."
"I think our other friends might say that that's what it's about."
"But you don't, Moony, do you?"
"No, I think that's another thing we have in common. I think that what I have is wonderful the way it is, even if it really hurts sometimes. As you said, I wouldn't want to go and ruin it by doing something stupid."
"Moony?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you think it's funny we have such similar opinions on love?"
"I don't know… maybe it's because we are such close friends."
"Either that, or we are such close friends because we have similar opinions."
"Maybe."
"Moony? You know, sometimes I wonder how strong our friendship is. You know, if I could do something really stupid and our friendship still wouldn't be ruined. Do you think you would still be my friend even if I make a real mistake? Be honest."
"Padfoot, I think there is nearly nothing worse than what you did in fifth year and I forgave you."
"So you think we could really tell each other everything?"
"If you feel the same way about that question, I think we can."
"You know, that person I was talking about earlier… it isn't a girl."
"Actually, neither is mine."
"Can I tell you something?"
"I thought I said so already."
"Well… it's you."
"You really are being honest, aren't you?"
"I've never been more open and honest than now. As we already said, you do that to me."
"Well, then what are you waiting for? Get over here because I just happen to feel the same way."
"So will you teach me to truly believe in love?"
"I think I can try. And I guess James and Lily aren't Hogwarts' newest couple anymore."
"Poor Prongsie. He seemed to be getting so fond of his new title."
So there it is, the little story that has been waiting in my computer for some time now. I wrote it when I was feeling slightly annoyed of people saying they didn't believe in love. Let's just say that was a few months ago and many opinions can change in that time. I just thought I'd post it anyway.