Author's Note: I wasn't sure if I should post this or not because I got mixed reviews from my friends and it wasn't exactly my favorite, but I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Animorphs
My name is Jake.
I'm the leader that nobody follows.
They expect me to hand out orders, to hold votes. I think they all say yes because it's an automatic response. Easier to let me think for them. I see the glances they give each other. I've become the new problem. Rachel was the loose canon. But now I'm the leader on the verge of breaking.
Crayak wants me destroyed, Visser One wants my head on a platter. They want a leader. I want my soul.
I'm just a teenager. I should be trying to find a job. Trying to get my driver's license. Instead I am what stands between earth and total enslavement. Sure, Marco, Cassie, Rachel, Ax, Tobias, they all do their jobs. But I'm the center. If I were allowed to be human the entire thing would fall apart.
I try not to think anymore. I don't know where that will lead to in the end. They all have their individual ideas of what needs to be done. I know we all want out. After so many years of this we're all ready to just stop. Stop all of it. Forget all of it. I'll never forget. They wont let me. I take all the responsibility so that when this is all over they can sleep a little easier knowing they didn't make the crucial decisions that got people killed.
And even though I do all this, and they know it, they still, still, think of me as the problem. Why haven't they bailed yet? You don't allow an insane person hold your life in their hands. Maybe we all gave up something. My soul, their individuality. All of our minds. We're all crazy in our own unique flavor. I don't even think I'm making sense anymore. I told you that I try not to think anymore. It's just easier that way.