Since When is Danzo the Voice of Reason?
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Note: Contains spoilers through manga chapter 452. I am not actually in favor of Sasuke dying (although any time he wants to stop being an idiot would be fine by me), but as Kakashi himself said: Sasuke IS a missing-nin. Just because Sakura and Naruto don't want to admit it doesn't make it any less true. But Danzo is still incredibly evil but no one can top Madara on craziness. Though to be fair, Sasuke is making an honest effort.
"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Sakura asked as she and Naruto made their way to go speak with the temporary Rokudaime. "Kakashi said-"
"I know what he said," Naruto assured her. "That's why I'm taking precautions. For instance, I'm not really here."
"What?" Sakura was surprised. "Of course you're here. Or are you just planning on denying your presence if Danzo tries to call you on this later?"
"I'm doing one better," Naruto grinned proudly. "I'm actually helping with the rebuilding in front of a large crowd of witnesses and so I just sent a clone with you. Or…real me sent me, I suppose."
"So if anything goes wrong and Danzo tries to have you arrested so he can keep you in Konoha, you can just dispel and not only will there be no proof that you were ever here but a good deal of proof that you weren't," Sakura realized. "Good idea. What about me, though?"
"Danzo can't afford to go off attacking anyone who annoys him right now," Naruto decided. "Not if he wants to be voted Hokage permanently. Which is a VERY scary thought, let me tell you. You should be fine, but if God forbid Danzo tries anything, I'll dispel and real me will come find you. And bring powerful witnesses."
"Thanks," Sakura smiled gratefully.
"May I help you?" Danzo asked, unflinchingly polite.
"We're here to talk about Sasuke," Naruto began.
"Ah yes, I thought you might. The last of the Uchiha and Konohagakure's newest official missing-nin," Danzo remarked.
"You can't just add Sasuke to the Bingo Book like that!" Sakura protested.
Danzo's visible eyebrow disappeared into his bandages. "Oh? I was under the impression that putting missing-nin in the Bingo Book was the prerogative of the Hokage. And though circumstances being what they are prevent a vote from being held to make my new title official, the dire nature of these events more than justifies my actions."
"What are you playing at?" Naruto demanded. "Sasuke doesn't deserve to be hunted down and killed just because you've got some sort of grudge against him!"
"Me? Hold a grudge? Never!" Danzo lied, sounding almost offended. "Like it or not, however, Sasuke IS a missing-nin. He defected from Konohagakure three years ago and if that weren't bad enough, he joined another village. And not just any village; he served as a shinobi for Oto, which was basically founded for the express purpose of destroying Konohagakure."
"That's different," Naruto insisted. "Sasuke only did that because his brother and Orochimaru messed with his head and he thought Orochimaru could help him-"
"I was not aware that Konohagakure was in practice of reviewing a missing-nin's sob story before deciding what to do with them," Danzo cut him off. "Then again, I suppose Tsunade-Hime changed quite a bit during her tenure."
"Tsunade-Sensei was the best Hokage we've ever had," Sakura informed the older man coolly.
"Yes, yes, his entire family was murdered by his brother, he was horribly traumatized, it's all very sad, but he still betrayed us," Danzo pointed out. "And even if we were willing to make an exception for him because he 'only' wanted to go off and kill his brother, who was himself a missing-nin of Konohagakure, not only did he fail to return after Itachi's death, but according to recent reports he went off and joined the Akatsuki! That Akatsuki that just killed half the town and leveled nearly every building. I suppose we're just supposed to overlook that as well?"
"Sasuke wouldn't want to destroy Konoha!" Naruto declared. "There's no way! We've never done anything to him but try and help him!"
"He joined Akatsuki," Danzo repeated, Naruto's statement so completely untrue he didn't even feel the need to respond to it.
"I'm sure he has his reasons," Naruto insisted. "I'll ask him about it the next time I see him."
"You've only seen him once since he defected and from what Sai tells me, he tried to kill you for waking him up and had to be stopped by OROCHIMARU. If the Sandaime's killer cares more for your life than your supposed best friend, I think maybe you should learn to quit when you're ahead," Danzo advised.
"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" Naruto wondered.
"I don't know," Sakura replied. "I hear that a lot, too. I think Shikamaru's starting to take it personally whenever someone mentions Sasuke."
Danzo sighed impatiently. "The point is: you keep defending his actions by saying that you don't know but you'll ask him about it when you see him. And when, exactly, do you plan on doing that? He's proved reasonably adept at keeping himself hidden so far and he's clearly avoiding you. I can't just wait around until he finally deigns to speak with you before making my move. Time is of the essence."
"Why?" Sakura challenged. "Because the Godaime could wake up at any time and you know she'll undo any damage you manage to accomplish?"
"No," Danzo said simply. "But unless we want to risk war with Kumogakure, something must be done."
"Risk war…?" Sakura repeated. "Why?"
"Surely you've heard of the last incident we had with them?" Danzo asked. "Thirteen years ago involving Hyuuga Hinata and a Kumogakure ambassador? They were willing to start a war when they were the ones who kidnapped the heiress of our second-most prestigious clan-"
"Who are the most prestigious?" Naruto interrupted.
"Sasuke," Danzo replied. "Although I'm not sure if that really counts anymore since he left…But anyway, if they were willing to start a war over such blatant audacity on their part and have the gall to act the injured party, what do you think they will do now that Sasuke has kidnapped the brother of the Raikage and – given his status as Jinchuriki and Sasuke's involvement with Akatsuki – probably intends to kill him?"
"I…" Naruto opened his mouth and closed it again. "I've got nothing," he admitted.
"Our position is already tenuous enough given my predecessor's refusal to acknowledge Sasuke's status as missing-nin. If he's not in the Book, then as far as Kumogakure is concerned, he is still one ours and if he was our ninja when making a unprovoked attack on the Jinchuriki brother of the Raikage, the other Kages would not hesitate to support him," Danzo said frankly.
"Gaara wouldn't," Naruto said loyally.
"Yes, I suppose the Kazekage is afflicted by the same terminal caring that anyone who spends a prolonged period of time with you seems to pick up," Danzo said dryly. "If only Sasuke weren't naturally immune we might not even be in this situation…"
Naruto shook his head sadly at the reminder of his failure. "Seriously, I've got to find Sasuke soon and beat some sense into him. If I'm not strong enough after taking down Nagato, I don't think I ever will be. And speaking of Nagato, since I finally understand revenge, I should be far more effective this time."
"But he's been hanging out with some very crazy people who are just encouraging Sasuke's own craziness," Sakura pointed out. "So that should be harder, too."
"Maybe I can talk to the Raikage," Naruto mused. "And ask him to let the whole Sasuke issue go."
"Do you really think that will work?" Sakura asked skeptically.
"Honestly, I have no idea," Naruto admitted. "But it can't hurt, right? And it's better than just sitting here doing nothing."
Two ANBU appeared at the door then.
"You summoned us?" the one with the rabbit mask asked.
"Whoops, gotta go," Naruto whispered, taking out a kunai. "Good luck!"
There was a slight poof of smoke as he dispelled himself.
"Yes," Danzo said, sounding pleased now that he'd stalled Naruto long enough for his ANBU forces to arrive. "Uzumaki Naruto here has just spent the past ten minutes questioning my authority and, in such trouble and uncertain times, we simply cannot have that. Kindly escort him to jail."
"…That doesn't look like Naruto," the one with some sort of bird mask noted, eyeing Sakura curiously. "Unless, of course, he henged himself to look like Tsuande-sama's apprentice."
"What?" Danzo snapped. "Of course not, he-" he stopped as he realized Naruto was no longer there. "He was just here!"
"Are you sure?" the rabbit ANBU asked respectfully. "Because we passed him on our way here. He was helping to rebuild Ichiraku's."
"Of COURSE he was…" Sakura muttered.
"We can still arrest him if you want," the bird ANBU offered half-heartedly. "But given that he's not actually here, is helping to rebuild Konoha as we speak, and just not only saved everyone's life but in many cases had them brought back from the dead, I don't think it will go over too well with the Jounins in the upcoming vote."
"No, no," Danzo shook his head. "Let him be. For now. I keep pressing the Sasuke issue, he'll slip up sooner or later…"
Note: Making Danzo seem at all reasonable seeing as how he is absurdly evil was not fun. Ah well, had to be done, Sakura and Naruto are incapable of viewing the Sasuke situation with any degree of objectivity, it seems. Although they're still better at it than Sasuke seems to be at looking at ANYTHING objectively.
Other Note: This story was accused of falling into the trope 'strawman has a point' and I'd like to take the time to explain why that isn't the case. A strawman, of course, is when you misrepresent a viewpoint you disagree with and then demolish that inaccurate argument. Strawman has a point is when the false argument you attempt to take down actually makes a lot more sense than you do. Danzo being absurdly evil is my viewpoint and no amount of 'he just wanted to protect Konoha' wll convince me otherwise. That said, in this story he is SUPPOSED to be right. It's not accidental and thus does not fit that trope. Just because I don't like him doesn't mean he's never right and when Naruto and Sakura were freaking out about Sasuke and his desire to destroy Konoha making the Bingo book they were being irrational and Danzo was right. If Danzo is written as being in the right, if I'm portraying him in character, and if he even wins the argument then how is that 'strawman as a point'?
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