The spring was warm against my already heated skin, and I sighed
gratefully as I sunk into the semi hot water, my eyes closing half way. I
heard Orophin and Rumil chattering away somewhere in front of me. They
usually left me out of things, and never told me afterwards, so I just
ignored them. Ever since I was small, just an elfing, I have been apart
from them. They have always been so united, and I have always been so
alone. As I began to slide deeper into my own thoughts, Orophin's voice
came to me.
"Brother, have you ever considered sharing a day with the two of us?"
I looked at him and blinked, coming up with the most obvious answer I could find. "I am now."
Orophin sighed heavily and shook his head, glaring at me rather rudely. I found it inappropriate.
"Orophin, what is the matter with you?"
"Do you EVER do ANYTHING other than WORK, Haldir? Do you? Anything at all?"
"Yes."
I heard Rumil's sigh from behind Orophin and sighed myself. I had come here to find relaxation. I had found stress. Woop dee do. Aren't I lucky?
"You hardly ever relax- " Orophin trailed off when he saw my expression.
I sat up a little now, my eyes growing sharper. I remember once, when I was on duty, a Raider had said I had eyes like knives. I killed him.
"Orophin. I came here to relax, to let my muscles rest for a little while, and you are ruining it. I want you to back off, brother, so I can sit here in peace for once. I choose to work hard out there, and if you two want to slack and let me do everything for you, then go ahead. I happen to ENJOY my duty!"
Orophin's jaw was growing tight, and I knew that I had crossed the line. I pressed my advantage and stood, water cascading down my naked body while my skin gleamed in the sunlight. I could have been a King. I should have been. "While I sit out there in trees, you two are in your beds, reading or fucking each other senseless. I go out there by choice because one day I might not be there when something terrible happens. And I do NOT want that." I arched an eyebrow, seeing the rage in Orophin's eyes and ignoring it. "Do you?"
I saw tears sparkling at the corners of Orophin's eyes. I watched as he turned and ran toward the cover of the forest. It reminded me of myself, reminded me of all those times I had run away without even trying to talk things out. I looked at Rumil briefly before walking from the spring. I went to my clothes, but only pulled on my leggings, in too much of a hurry to put on my tunic, even though it would have taken less than a minute to do. The liquid pouring across my cheeks was hidden from my youngest brother as I slowly walked away, needing time to vent out my frustrations and think.
Walking had always helped me, but running, in my mind, was better. I didn't run, though. Instead, I did one of the stupidest things I have ever done. I punched a tree. Just like that. I slammed my right fist hard into it, then just hoped that the crack was the trunk, and not me. It was me.
Half an hour after I had efficiently messed up my hands, Rumil and Orophin came. I looked up at them, then rose to my feet(after I punched the tree, I cursed and punched it some more, then fell over. Oh yes, I have balance *snort*). They spoke quietly to me, and I went with them, not fighting at all, not like I wanted to. I went into my talan, shutting the door hard behind me so my brothers would know to leave me alone. When they didn't follow me, I slunk over to my bed and settled down on it, not bothering about the covers. My eyes closed, and I just rested there for a while, not really sleeping. I was too upset to sleep. Pictures, visions entered my mind, and I forced my eyes to open. I still saw them, though. I saw the hurt on Orophin's face, the held back pain on Rumil's. I knew I was the cause of it, I always was. In a group of three, one was always left out. In this case, the person left out was me. It had been like that since I can remember, except when Orophin and I were fighting. Then it was anything but pleasant. Call me a bully if you want to, but I thought I was defending myself. I suppose neither of them ever saw it that way.
In the morning, it felt like lava was being poured into my skull, right behind my ears. I let out a moan and rolled over so that I fell right off the edge of my bed. That made my head hurt even worse, as well as other parts of my body that I really couldn't name so early in the morning. To make things even better, there was a pounding on my door. I slowly rose to my feet, then picked up the nearest throwable(Shut up, I don't care if that isn't a word) object, my left boot, and hucked it at the door.
BANG!!!!!
There was silence for about half a second, then more knocking.
"Haldir, don't make me kick down this door!"
I moaned in agony as Orophin's voice filled my ears, and I lifted the other boot, ready to throw it right at him. "Go away, Orophin! I'm busy!"
A short pause and a fierce crash later, and I was missing a door. I threw my boot at Orophin's head. He caught it with ease, then set it down neatly beside him. Rumil entered behind Orophin, and a new wave of pain that I didn't even know existed assaulted my head.
A glare from Rumil sent me on my ass on the bed. He hadn't given me such a look since I screwed up his hair at a grand feast, here in Lorien.
"Haldir, dearest brother, will you not do something with us today? We can go riding in the woods, or fishing. Or we can have races," Orophin suggested.
I was about to speak when a sharp crack split through the air. My breath caught in my throat, and I shot up from the bed. I knew what it was: Thunderstorm. Orophin dragged Rumil and I over into his own talan and closed the door behind him before drawing the curtains. Thunderstorms were liked by all elves except for me. I got lost in a storm once, and no one came to find me until it was all over. Orophin said he had found me inside a hollow log, right in the middle. He had had to coax me out, and he didn't even apologize for letting me go like that. I saw their faces. Rumil and Orophin had just stared at me when I ran. I guess they were used to it. They should be by now.
"Would you like to come snuggle close under the blankets, Haldir?" Rumil asked gently.
I looked at him sternly, then shook my head, cringing when a stroke of lightning lit the room up like an explosion. I moved quietly over to a corner, determined to stay there until the storm was over. I could see it in my brother's eyes that they were bored. I watched them, fear in my own eyes. I could feel adrenaline pumping through me, and I was itching to run out into that storm to conquer my fear. I hated being afraid like this. It made me feel vulnerable and open, so out of control I couldn't even comprehend it.
"Would you like to, brother?"
I looked at Orophin suspiciously, then saw where he was pointing. Rumil was there already, his lithe body spread out over the sheets like a dessert after dinner. The scene made me feel sick. I felt bile rising in my throat, and my heart shattered when I saw Orophin move to Rumil. They kissed, and it was hot and vibrant, writhing with electricity. I couldn't stand it anymore.
I turned, and then I was off and running. I pushed through the door, holding back a great sob as I rushed into the howling storm. I slammed the door behind me and sprinted downward, slipping and nearly falling upon the slick surface under my feet. My breaths were broken now, and Ibreathed heavily, almost panting, my eyes wide. I did fall then, skidding the last few feet to the ground. Then I was up again, bolting headlong for the forest. I wanted to get away from my brothers, just as I have always done. Scared and cold, I kept going, despite the words in my head. Run, Haldir, RUN, my mind taunted me, mocked me, and laughed at me, all for my foolish ways. Yes, run, run, run!!! I crossed through a shallow stream, barely able to keep on my feet as thunder snarled overhead, causing me to cry out in terror. I was in a blind panic. That scene had done it. Orophin and Rumil had found such peace between themselves, such unity...such love. Tears were streaming down my face, and I gasped for breath before collapsing, my clothes sticking to my skin as shivers ran through me, not from the cold. I didn't bother to move, and I ducked my head away as lightning casted the forest in a blinding light. I could feel the wind as it tried to suck the warmth from my body, could feel it pull and tug at my drenched hair. I bowed my head, on my hands and knees, choking on my own sobs. I didn't have the strength, nor the will, to hold them back.
"Brother, have you ever considered sharing a day with the two of us?"
I looked at him and blinked, coming up with the most obvious answer I could find. "I am now."
Orophin sighed heavily and shook his head, glaring at me rather rudely. I found it inappropriate.
"Orophin, what is the matter with you?"
"Do you EVER do ANYTHING other than WORK, Haldir? Do you? Anything at all?"
"Yes."
I heard Rumil's sigh from behind Orophin and sighed myself. I had come here to find relaxation. I had found stress. Woop dee do. Aren't I lucky?
"You hardly ever relax- " Orophin trailed off when he saw my expression.
I sat up a little now, my eyes growing sharper. I remember once, when I was on duty, a Raider had said I had eyes like knives. I killed him.
"Orophin. I came here to relax, to let my muscles rest for a little while, and you are ruining it. I want you to back off, brother, so I can sit here in peace for once. I choose to work hard out there, and if you two want to slack and let me do everything for you, then go ahead. I happen to ENJOY my duty!"
Orophin's jaw was growing tight, and I knew that I had crossed the line. I pressed my advantage and stood, water cascading down my naked body while my skin gleamed in the sunlight. I could have been a King. I should have been. "While I sit out there in trees, you two are in your beds, reading or fucking each other senseless. I go out there by choice because one day I might not be there when something terrible happens. And I do NOT want that." I arched an eyebrow, seeing the rage in Orophin's eyes and ignoring it. "Do you?"
I saw tears sparkling at the corners of Orophin's eyes. I watched as he turned and ran toward the cover of the forest. It reminded me of myself, reminded me of all those times I had run away without even trying to talk things out. I looked at Rumil briefly before walking from the spring. I went to my clothes, but only pulled on my leggings, in too much of a hurry to put on my tunic, even though it would have taken less than a minute to do. The liquid pouring across my cheeks was hidden from my youngest brother as I slowly walked away, needing time to vent out my frustrations and think.
Walking had always helped me, but running, in my mind, was better. I didn't run, though. Instead, I did one of the stupidest things I have ever done. I punched a tree. Just like that. I slammed my right fist hard into it, then just hoped that the crack was the trunk, and not me. It was me.
Half an hour after I had efficiently messed up my hands, Rumil and Orophin came. I looked up at them, then rose to my feet(after I punched the tree, I cursed and punched it some more, then fell over. Oh yes, I have balance *snort*). They spoke quietly to me, and I went with them, not fighting at all, not like I wanted to. I went into my talan, shutting the door hard behind me so my brothers would know to leave me alone. When they didn't follow me, I slunk over to my bed and settled down on it, not bothering about the covers. My eyes closed, and I just rested there for a while, not really sleeping. I was too upset to sleep. Pictures, visions entered my mind, and I forced my eyes to open. I still saw them, though. I saw the hurt on Orophin's face, the held back pain on Rumil's. I knew I was the cause of it, I always was. In a group of three, one was always left out. In this case, the person left out was me. It had been like that since I can remember, except when Orophin and I were fighting. Then it was anything but pleasant. Call me a bully if you want to, but I thought I was defending myself. I suppose neither of them ever saw it that way.
In the morning, it felt like lava was being poured into my skull, right behind my ears. I let out a moan and rolled over so that I fell right off the edge of my bed. That made my head hurt even worse, as well as other parts of my body that I really couldn't name so early in the morning. To make things even better, there was a pounding on my door. I slowly rose to my feet, then picked up the nearest throwable(Shut up, I don't care if that isn't a word) object, my left boot, and hucked it at the door.
BANG!!!!!
There was silence for about half a second, then more knocking.
"Haldir, don't make me kick down this door!"
I moaned in agony as Orophin's voice filled my ears, and I lifted the other boot, ready to throw it right at him. "Go away, Orophin! I'm busy!"
A short pause and a fierce crash later, and I was missing a door. I threw my boot at Orophin's head. He caught it with ease, then set it down neatly beside him. Rumil entered behind Orophin, and a new wave of pain that I didn't even know existed assaulted my head.
A glare from Rumil sent me on my ass on the bed. He hadn't given me such a look since I screwed up his hair at a grand feast, here in Lorien.
"Haldir, dearest brother, will you not do something with us today? We can go riding in the woods, or fishing. Or we can have races," Orophin suggested.
I was about to speak when a sharp crack split through the air. My breath caught in my throat, and I shot up from the bed. I knew what it was: Thunderstorm. Orophin dragged Rumil and I over into his own talan and closed the door behind him before drawing the curtains. Thunderstorms were liked by all elves except for me. I got lost in a storm once, and no one came to find me until it was all over. Orophin said he had found me inside a hollow log, right in the middle. He had had to coax me out, and he didn't even apologize for letting me go like that. I saw their faces. Rumil and Orophin had just stared at me when I ran. I guess they were used to it. They should be by now.
"Would you like to come snuggle close under the blankets, Haldir?" Rumil asked gently.
I looked at him sternly, then shook my head, cringing when a stroke of lightning lit the room up like an explosion. I moved quietly over to a corner, determined to stay there until the storm was over. I could see it in my brother's eyes that they were bored. I watched them, fear in my own eyes. I could feel adrenaline pumping through me, and I was itching to run out into that storm to conquer my fear. I hated being afraid like this. It made me feel vulnerable and open, so out of control I couldn't even comprehend it.
"Would you like to, brother?"
I looked at Orophin suspiciously, then saw where he was pointing. Rumil was there already, his lithe body spread out over the sheets like a dessert after dinner. The scene made me feel sick. I felt bile rising in my throat, and my heart shattered when I saw Orophin move to Rumil. They kissed, and it was hot and vibrant, writhing with electricity. I couldn't stand it anymore.
I turned, and then I was off and running. I pushed through the door, holding back a great sob as I rushed into the howling storm. I slammed the door behind me and sprinted downward, slipping and nearly falling upon the slick surface under my feet. My breaths were broken now, and Ibreathed heavily, almost panting, my eyes wide. I did fall then, skidding the last few feet to the ground. Then I was up again, bolting headlong for the forest. I wanted to get away from my brothers, just as I have always done. Scared and cold, I kept going, despite the words in my head. Run, Haldir, RUN, my mind taunted me, mocked me, and laughed at me, all for my foolish ways. Yes, run, run, run!!! I crossed through a shallow stream, barely able to keep on my feet as thunder snarled overhead, causing me to cry out in terror. I was in a blind panic. That scene had done it. Orophin and Rumil had found such peace between themselves, such unity...such love. Tears were streaming down my face, and I gasped for breath before collapsing, my clothes sticking to my skin as shivers ran through me, not from the cold. I didn't bother to move, and I ducked my head away as lightning casted the forest in a blinding light. I could feel the wind as it tried to suck the warmth from my body, could feel it pull and tug at my drenched hair. I bowed my head, on my hands and knees, choking on my own sobs. I didn't have the strength, nor the will, to hold them back.