This is my first Fanfiction ^^ I have been writing since I could pick up a pencil, so I hope you all enjoy.

I am a HUGE XS fan, and I truly believe that it is the only possible boyxboy paring in KHR. I try to write the characters IN character, and will ALWAYS do so…

Notes: Other than the obvious paring, there may be some differences in the story line from the actual Anime/Manga. This story is rated M for a reason….Swearing, adult situations, and nonconsensual sex.

For the Love of Wrath

For a man to contradict his entire existence for living, takes something powerful. Something that can will a man into a direction he never expected. A direction that may not have been the obvious choice in the past. Some may call it love. But, what of such a weak word? Only fools fell in love. Its power creeps up into your body and through your soul. And, once you realize it's there, it is already too late. It has eaten you alive. Made you lose your focus. Your world spins upside down, leaving you to find the way.

We all have our demons. However, for Superbi Squalo, his demon was all too real.

They had all lost this war. Although, the word "all" had been used lightly in Xanxus' presence. Unless you didn't mind a bottle of scotch or whisky being thrown at your head. In Xanxus' words, the scum that worked for him had lost. But not him. Such a battle had given an unfair advantage to the Vongola brat. Luck. Luck was all it was. Even their backup plans had failed. Inside, all of the Varia were broken. None of which would ever show it. Lussuria had shed a few tears of pain, but quickly subsided his failure with cooking in a small attempt to boost the spirits of the others as well. Bel had retreated to his room feeling somewhat successful. He, at least, won his individual battle. Levi had shammed himself to a dark corner in the Varia castle, where little light shown through. A tear of frustration may have been visible if more moonlight could invade its way in.

As for Squalo, he had never felt so weak in his life. He had to fucking scream at the fucking Bronco to let him leave with the boss even though he knew he was risking his life doing so. Most of his bandages lay loosely now. The blood from some of his stitches had stopped seeping through a few days prior. He removed his coat, so that he stands in his semi-lit room with just his boots and leather pants on. The bandages made it impossible to see his bare chest as he gazed in the mirror. Shame he thought. He slowely raised both his hands to graze them over his chest. He was still sore. Still broken. Still pondering in his head if he should go see the boss. Squalo figured that he'd rather die by his boss' hand than at the hands of some Vongola brat. He ran his right hand through his soft locks of hair. A reminder of the promise he made to Xanxus flashed before him. A promise that was damaged from the very beginning.

So that decided it.

The room was red. Always a tint of red. The king size bed, located in the right corner of the room, always had black sheets on it. Xanxus' chair lay against the middle of the wall to the left of the bed. He sat upon it like a king. His hard gaze could kill anyone that wasn't use to it. When Squalo entered the room, he knew that fire would be on him. Seeing through him as if he wasn't there. Xanxus had his legs crossed, with a glass of whisky in his right hand, elbow placed on the arm rest. He was still bloody. Still heated from the battle lost.

Squalo entered slowly.

"Boss…"

No answer.

"Boss I…"

"Hmm." Xanxus stood from his perch swiftly, leaving his unfinished class of whisky on the arm rest. He walked slowly towards Squalo, eyes never leaving his figure.

"You failed me, scum." Xanxus was now only a few inches away from Squalo's face. Squalo tilted his head down slightly to take a break from the hard gaze he was receiving.

"Voi, I-"

"Don't speak. I am talking." Xanxus kept his voice low, but firm. "You have failed me. Along with the rest of the trash in this god forsaken place." Squalo could smell the Whisky on his breath. "You are no good to me anymore."

Squalo looked up as he heard the safety click off on one of Xanxus' X-guns. "I always knew it." Xanxus voice was starting to raise in volume.

"Knew what boss?" Squalo still held together well. He had been in deep shit with the boss before, but had a feeling this was the icing on the cake.

An evil smirk cracked over Xanxus' face. "scum. I know everything. My intuition is above perfection." Xanxus helped one of his guns to Squalo's forehead.

Squalo starred at him with astonishment. He couldn't be talking about…no…nononononono. This can't be. Squalo thought he had done such a good job of hiding his feelings. Any type of caring feeling was weak. Weakweakweakweak. An illusion created to make people drive themselves crazy over another human being.

Squalo was quickly snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a hand grab a handful of his hair and push him against the door with a loud thud. Xanxus pressed himself against him, and spoke softly and cruely into his ear. His gun still in his other hand against Squalo's jaw, now.

"You pathetic shark. Succumbing to weak emotions? Your nothing more than the scum of the Earth, you know that? You fucking want me. And I've always known it."

All Squalo could do at this point, was close his eyes and unwillingly focus on the hot breath from Xanxus ghosting over his ear and neck. Fuck. Had he made it that obvious?

"Your fucking hair. Your undying loyalty. Tell me Squalo." Xanxus yanked Squalo's head up to finally face him. "Do you think about me at night? Do you think about what would happen if I found out and decided I needed a quick screw? Fantasize about me fucking you in the shower, hm?" Xanxus' voice was slowly getting louder and louder. "I fuck girls. GIRLS. And I get what I want. Does that make you jealous? How I love to be inside of them instead of you?"

Squalo tried his best to hide the blush on his face, and to look away from the intensifying gaze. "VOII! What would you know?! And, so what?! Its not like it affects you!"

Xanxus' grin became even more devious as he yanked the Shark, and made him follow towards the bed. "I'm in need of a good fuck tonight. I guess you'll do. After all, you're no better than those whores I use."

Reality hit Squalo, as he felt his head hit the pillow harshly, and before he could move, the older Italian man was above him, pressing his weight on the shark allowing no escape. Xanxus undid his tie, and bound Squalo's hands to the bedpost. Squalo had never struggled so much in his life. Fear was finally beginning to hit him. He had wanted Xanxus. But, never like this. He was way too angry, and more than likely extremely drunk.

"VOII! Stop this! Stop!" Squalo continued to struggle.

"I thought this was what you wanted." Xanxus cooed as he ghosted his hands down Squalo's chest and bandages. Once he made it to his leather pants, he all but ripped them off the Shark.

"XANXUS! STOP THIS!"

"You're hard, scum." Xanxus' evil laugh filled the room. He then proceeded to rip Squalo's boxers off as well. He sat back on his haunches to watch the shark thrash about while he slowly unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his impressive and hard length.

"All you deserve is pain." Xanxus laid back on top of Squalo straddling him.

"VOII! STOP! AHH!"

Xanxus grabbed a hold of Squalo's length and stroked it dry, mercilessly. Up and down, at an unbearable pace. "You like this, huh? You sick Shark."

"VOII!" Squalo's voice was becoming hoarse and weak. Tears were beginning to well at the corners of his eyes. "STOP! IT'S TOO MUCH!"

Xanxus latched onto Squalo's neck and and drew the sharks blood. Squalo hear his sick laughter echoing throughout the room. "Trash. This is what you get for failing me. If you think I'm going to let you come, you really are insane." At that, Xanxus squeezed Squalo's member tightly and continuously rubbed his thumb over his tip.

"Ahh….nggnnn…Please stop. Fuck."

Keeping his hand on Squalo's member, Xanxus hoisted one of the sharks legs upward using his other hand and pressed his body forward so that Squalo was practicly helpless. Xanxus grin said it all. Red eyes glaring right at Squalo's silver ones. Squalo's voice became so low, that Xanxus barely heard it.

"No….No…No…Xanxus. I….Don't do this to me."

"What better way to hurt you scum, then to screw your emotions up? I don't give a shit about you. And I'm going to enjoy your screams as I fuck you endlessly."

Squalo used the last of his strength in a futile attempt to free himself. But, Xanxus wasn't going to give in. He aligned himself at Squalo's tight enternce. Time seemed to stand still for the helpless Shark, as he remembered the promise he made to Xanxus. To follow him endlessly to hell and back. To be his right-hand man.

He knew that he was not gay. Squalo had never felt emotions for another man. He had never really fancied a woman either, really. But there was just something about Xanxus. His presence. His existence. His rage and power that drove him to be the 10th he will never become. He liked the thought of being owned by him. Being completely possessed by him and only him. His beautiful dark skin, complemented by even darker scars. His pitch black hair and dark red eyes. He was a masterpiece in Squalo's eyes.

All of his thoughts were completely abandoned, when Xanxus rammed all the way into him. Squalo had never felt so much pain in his life.

"I can't wait to watch your face." Xanxus cooed, as he licked from Squalo's neck up to his cheek, and began to move at an ungodly fast pace, in and out, in and out.

"AAAHAAA! STOP! GOD, FUCKING STOP!" In and out, in and out.

"SCUM. I knew you were good for something." In and out, in and out.

Squalo felt as if he was going to lose consciousness. He felt something welling inside of him. Something he needed to let out. Something had shattered.

"STOOOPPP!" And with that, for the first time in his life, Squalo allowed tears to stream down his face.

In and out, in and out.

The endless fucking did not stop. Squalo's tightness was making Xanxus climb closer to his orgasm.

That was until Xanxus got a good look at his sharks face.

His evil smirk, turned to a line, and he stalled inside of Squalo.

Tears? He had not expected his right hand man to…cry? What sick world had Xanxus entered for this event to occur?

"Please….stop…let me go." Squalo's voice was shaky, but stern. "I hate you…you…shitty fucking boss. All you do is take. And I still stood by you."

In Xanxus' mind, two things happened. He reminded himself that he did not care about the Shark under him. He did not care that he was in unbearable pain. Squalo had become slick inside, and Xanxus knew it was because of the blood now rushing out. He could feel it. The second thing being processed in Xanxus' mind was the fact that he NEVER expected to ever even fuck his commander. What gave him this idea? This all had to be because due to the Whisky.

It was then that Xanxus found himself raising off of Squalo and slowly pulling out and undoing his bound wrists. Xanxus knew in the back of his mind that he did not feel drunk. Yet, he felt as if some of his control was lost. He had acted out of rage before, but this sick idea…this was a new kind of rage. A kind of rage that he found himself wanting Squalo to take part in. But why..?

THUD.

Xanxus snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Squalo fall of the bed. Helplessly attempting to run out of the room. Blood following him where ever he stumbled. Xanxus froze at the sight. His right-hand man…His commander…his…dare he say it. Friend. In a state of pure fear and pain. Trying to run from him.

When Squalo made it to the door, he'd not dare look back. A simple pause said it all, as he slammed the door behind him as he walked out. He never heard the mellow "Squalo" escape his bosses lips just moments before.

Squalo laid motionless on his bed. Not giving a damn about the blood, nor his half naked body. He felt safe under the covers. Door locked. Lights out. Darkness. Where he felt he belonged. This way, no one could see the tears he shed that night. Nor, the helpless "why's" he quietly whispered to himself. His already disheveled body was now broken emotionally. A way of pain Squalo was convinced he would never feel. Had he fallen for the devil himself? Xanxus really didn't care about anything. Nothing. He had hoped that he at least considered him a useful commander. Maybe even a good acquaintance? He liked to think they were friends. But, that may have been asking too much. It really was true that he had no heart. No soul. No feelings. And that made the tears flow more and more.

He had no idea that Xanxus sat outside his bedroom door all night.

Fini :D First fanfaction. Comments/critiques are always welcomed. As far as im concerned ,all fanfictions are a bit out of character xP so I apologize for that! There IS a second part to this coming next week. Thank you for reading!