For Your Smile's Sake
Summary :
I know, I could only see you from the distance. But it's okay, as long as you're happy, I'd do anything. Even if I had to let you go for her./Hanji's Point of View/Slight Rivetra-LeviHan/Other version of If You're Happy/DIFFERENT FOR IYH/TranslateAnata no Egao no Tame ni/Chara Death
Disclaimer :
Shingeki no Kyojin © Isayama Hajime
For Your Smile's Sake © Aori Rihito
Genre, Rate, Character(s) :
Drama & Angst, Teen Fic, Hanji Z. & [Levi, Petra R.]
A/N :
This is Hanji's PoV version of 'For Your Happiness' and 'If You're Happy (Then I'm Fine with It)', but the plot is different. In FYH/IYH, I use Petra's original death scene, which is completely different from this one. This fic has some similarity though, like death. Yes, Hanji'll die here. Why? Because I can't bear seeing Hanji live with Rivetra shadows, and I can't bear seeing Hanji paired up with other character, including Erwin, Mike, or Moblit. (sorry for their fans!)
There are people who wanted Rivetra version (they told me from review, PM, or even SMS), so I decided to make this. It's really hard for me to make this, because I love LeviHan so much. But making fanfic like this once in a while is fun!
To hime : Here, my promise to make a Rivetra version. Tell me what you think of this or I'll do something you won't like when we're on school :D (innocent smile)
Anyways! Hajimeru yo!
Hajime
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"I know you far longer than her, so it's not fair."
"But I know it means nothing right now, so I'll just leave you two."
"It's fine, everything will work out somehow. 'Cause if you're happy, everything's fine."
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I'm Hanji Zoë, a famous scientist in Survey Corps! Aside from scientist, I was a Squad Leader too and I had an assistant named Moblit Berner! Even though Survey Corps' main task was to annihilate titans, I really loved them! Oh come on, titans were very cute and interesting like my short friend! Hehe..
Aah, about that Shorty.. He was very annoying. And also short, of course. Cold, very cold. Distinct. Discipline. Rude, his chosen words weren't good for children's ears. Strong, very strong. But also VERY, I repeat, VERY loved cleanliness! His hair was dark black and his eyes were sharp grayish blue.
His name was Levi. Second-in-Commandof Survey Corps whom position was right under our Commander, Erwin Smith.
Even though Levi was cold, distinct, discipline, rude, or strong, he was also an insensitive person to other people's feelings. Everyone, including myself. Why I said that? Well.. I really liked that annoying Shorty. He was annoying, that was undeniable, but he was also my best friend since we were just trainees. I don't know since when did my feelings changed.
Ah, correction. Levi was insensitive to everyone but one. His subordinate in his Special Operation Squad, Petra Ral. That sweet girl with chestnut hair and amber eyes really adored Levi. Many people said they looked good together. Including me.
Yes, even though I liked him too, I did realized that Levi and Petra matched each other. Their height, for example. Petra was shorter than Levi. On the other hand.. I was taller than him by 10 cm. Tall-female and short-male couple was weird, as they said. Petra was also a part of Levi's squad. And Petra's attitude that was very.. Girlish was really good for Levi. Petra was more.. 'Sane' and she had wonderful skill.
Compared to me..
This tall me was absolutely out-of-option. And then the way I acted was like a man. Not even the way I acted, my appearance looked like a man. Many people mistake me for a man, including Petra when she first met me. I really liked titans, as if I wasn't sane anymore. But I am sane alright, thank you. I did know Levi far longer than Petra, but it means nothing. Love overcomes everything, was what Mike said when he was drunk months ago.
As a good friend, I always helped Levi on his effort to get closer to Petra. Just like today.
"Levi! Petra is getting away! Why you're so slow, damn it!" I said with annoyed voice as I dragged this Shorty.
"..." Levi didn't reply my words and let me dragged him.
Petra was quite far already. Levi was planning to ask Petra out to a dinner, but he was far too prideful to go to her and ask her straightly. Levi only wanted to talk about his efforts to me only, because his only female friend in Survey Corps was only me. Currently we were on the edge of HQ's training field, and Petra almost went inside the HQ.
"Levi.. Do you want to ask Petra or not..?" I asked, annoyed.
"..We're wasting our time. Let's go back." Levi turned and walked away towards the training field.
My evil side was very happy. Levi stopped trying to ask Petra out on a date and I wouldn't have to unite them. But my angel side was screaming at me. Telling me to hold Levi and persuade him to keep trying and not giving up. My angel side won, and I quickly grabbed his shirt.
"Oh, come on, Clean Freak! I've helped you so much and I've order a place for you two in that restaurant you wanted! Don't waste my effort on helping you!" I said dramatically as I held his shirt.
Levi sighed heavily. When he turned to look at me, I was smiling widely, covering what was going on in my heart perfectly. "Go and fetch Petra! Don't you dare come back before you succeeded in asking Petra to go to that weird expensive restaurant!" I grinned wickedly. Oh yes, I used 'fetch' word.
Hearing my words, Levi gave a small smile. Very small and thin. Levi left me and ran towards Petra. At first, my hand got up, like I wanted to stop him, but I didn't. I lower my hand as he went further. As if he was leaving me forever. I smiled ironically. Kinda suffocating, seeing him ran for someone else.
Well, I knew and understood that I could only see Levi from the distance. I was just his best friend in his eyes. Maybe not even more than what Mike was for him, because Levi never treated me as a girl. I knew I was boyish, but well..
Without waiting for Levi, I walked away from the training field to a forest near here. There was a special place for me, a place I always visited at rough times like this.
When I arrived, I sat immediately in my favorite spot. I was sitting under a very big tree. It was said as Survey Corps HQ's oldest tree. They said. I wasn't sure. But this tree is very big, bigger than other trees around here, almost as big as the trees in Giant Tree Forest. It was a little further to the depth of the forest, no one really come in here except for me. Not even Erwin or Moblit. (to find me in Moblit's case)
"You short insensitive Corporal.." I muttered as I took a notebook from my breast pocket. I opened it and started studying it. A notebook with notes about my experiments on titans. Time to become a scientist again!
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Okay, I admitted that I liked titans. I also really liked a certain titan-shifter named Eren who was Levi's responsibility. To me, titans were cute and interesting. Researching about titans were very fun too. But..
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE CHASED BY TITANS LIKE THIS!
I tried to get away from a few of 7 meter class titans that were chasing me with my 3DMG. We were on an expedition and God knows why my horse suddenly got mad or something and left me, so I was running away now. Why didn't I just kill them? Unfortunately my blades were running out. Well.. I did have one pair left.. But Erwin always said to leave a pair for emergencies, and this situation wasn't count as emergency, because other member could kill them, he said. For me, this is emergency. But I just had to be cautious..
"Don't chase me, titan-chan~!" I yelled, frustrated.
I was still trying to run away, shooting my grapplers towards the tree and 'fly' away. When my gas almost ran out, I saw a familiar face, also trying to get away from titans with scared face. When I glanced at that person's 3DMG, there were no blades left!
Without thinking anymore, I used full speed and killed all titans around the place.
"H-Hanji-san?!"
Without really paying attention, I kept trying to slaughter the titans. Until my blades broke, and my gas ran out.
"Ah.."
It was the only sound coming out from my mouth before I fell into a 4 class meter titan's hand. It held me up towards its face and opened its mouth widely.
Hah.. So this is the end of my life. Getting eaten by my favorite creature just like that. I laughed ironically in my thoughts.
But well.. What can I do..
When the titan bit my lower half, I screamed. It was very hurtful. I could feel blood coming out from my mouth. And I could feel the stare of the person I saved. Screaming, maybe. But my hearing was in disarray. I opened my eyes a little, seeing the titan almost eat me again. But before I got eaten, the titan fell and the person I saved caught me.
Slowly, I landed on the grassy ground. My body –at least what left of me– felt so hurt. To open my eyes, it felt very difficult. Even breathing started to become difficult. I gasped for air, it was very uncomfortable.
"Hanji-san! Hanji-san, stay up!"
"Oi, Four-Eyes! Get a hold of yourself!"
Those voices..
"Open your eyes, you Shitty Four-Eyes!"
"Don't give up, Hanji-san!"
I forced my eyes open. It was blurry. After I focused a little more, I saw Levi and Petra. Their eyes were red. Ah, did Levi cry? That was rare. If the situation wasn't like this, I would definitely teased him.
"L-Levi..? Pe..tra..?" Wow, my voice was hoarse.
"Hanji-san! I'm sorry! I-If only I didn't used up all my blades, you don't have to save me like that!" Petra cried. It seemed like she was angry with herself. Her tears kept falling.
"That's.. What seniors.. Are for.. R-Right..?" I said hardly, before I coughed and turned out it was a bloody cough.
"Don't talk anymore." Levi said slowly. His hand wiped the blood on my face. Levi, the Clean Freak, used his hand to clean my blood? I heard rumors about Levi not caring about cleanliness if it was about someone else's live.. But this was the first time I ever see it.
"T-Turns out.. Getting bitten.. By t-titans.. Is painful.." I forced a laugh. I could feel my soul started to try to leave me. Aah, looks like I would leave this world soon.
"Eh..?" I muttered when I felt teardrop on my cheek. Levi's tear. His face was very.. Upset..? "D-Don't cry.. Shorty Corporal.. Your f-face.. G-Got dirty, y-you know.." I said, my hand got up and wipe his tears.
"If only I was faster.. You won't become like this, Four-Eyes.."
Hearing it, I laughed. There was nothing could undo the time. What have happened couldn't get reversed. I turned my vision toward Petra who was crying uncontrollably.
"P-Petra.."
"Hanji-san..?"
My other hand tried to reach her, and she grabbed my hand immediately. "B-Be happy.. With L-Levi.. Don't e-ends up.. Like m-me.." Only to say that became extremely hard for me now. "Levi.. L-Love you.. You know..?"
"Hanji-san.." Petra's cry became even harder.
"Ne, Levi..?" I turned to Levi again. "T-Thanks.. For e-everything.." I said with a smile.
"Don't say it like you're going to die, stupid.."
"I am.. Going t-to die.. Right..?" I said matter-of-factly.
My consciousness almost left me, and to breathe became almost impossible to me. "L-Levi.. Aishiteimasu.."
I was sure that Levi's eyes were wide. He was insensitive after all.. "D-Don't worry.. Everything will w-work out somehow.. So s-smile, Baka.." I didn't know why I said that, and then my vision became dark and.. Yeah, I left the world, forever.
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The End
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Omake
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"Hanji..?"
"Hanji-san..?"
There was no sound coming from the titan-lover scientist. Silent, without any sounds. Until Levi broke the silence. "How dare you leave this world after all things you said.." He said, upset was obvious in his voice.
Hanji was his best friend. The only one who understood him. Hanji knew about Levi even more than Erwin. And now, the only person who understood him was gone to save the person he loved. But for Levi, the word 'love' became meaningless as Hanji left the world. Because Hanji was the one who helped him to feel what love is all this time.
"Arigatou, Hanji.."
And for the first time, Levi called her name. He bent down and kissed her forehead softly.
Petra was still crying as she held Hanji's hand. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, Hanji-san.."
When the expedition was over, Levi himself brought Hanji towards their cart. Erwin and Moblit were surprised when they saw Levi carried Hanji's half body. When all of the Survey Corps knew, they were surprised as well and fell into grieve.
Their weird scientist who had contributed many things to the humanity, was now gone.
Moblit cried for days after Hanji died. Erwin also grieve for days. Hanji was one of the members who survived Survey Corps for a long time. Now, all of their Squad Leaders were gone.
Usually, military's member's corpse would be burned. But they buried the remaining of Hanji's body. In her tombstone, there were written;
Here lies
Hanji Zoë
Beloved daughter, friend, scientist, hero
May your spirit alive always
Levi himself made the words. After Hanji's death, he never passed the days without feeling bad. He never felt Hanji's feelings towards him. And after years, after the titans were gone from the earth, Levi married Petra.
Their first child was a girl, with Levi's dark hair and Petra's amber eyes. After they talked about it, they agreed to name the child Hanji, to remind them of the person who died in the past for their happiness' sake. Or more likely, for Levi's smile's sake.
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End of Omake
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Author Talk!
Tired.. This fic has more than 2k words, when I originally wanted it to be around 1k! I cried at Hanji's death. It's hard, but I forced myself. It's unfair if I kill other people's favorite character easily and I Mary Sue-d my favorite character. But the ending is very weird! Sorry about that! I ran out of ideas..
Please do tell me of what you think! Ciao!