1Streets of Heaven
By: Kennedy Leigh Morgan
Disaclaimer: Ya know, this is kind of the pits doing this over, and over again. It gets kind of redundant.However, I am pretty sure the legal dudes still require these dumb things. So . . . I do not own the X-files nor anything pertaining to it. I do not own the song either, that belongs to Sherrie Austin. So now that we all know I own nothing let us continue with the literature.
X X X X X
It had been a long, harrowing, Christmas. Dana Scully decided as she sat in her rental car, parkedher older brother's driveway in San Diego, California. Her daughter had died an hour ago. The only daughter she would ever know or hold that was completely her own.
The lights in Bill's house were on, and Mulder's car was parked next to her own. She knew that both he and her mother were probably up waiting for her, though it was well past midnight. She wasn't ready to go inside yet though. Not ready to talk, or face anyone in the world. She was still stubbornly holding back tears that were pooling in her eyes, and threatening to fall. Tears for a little girl she had barely known, but had loved with all her heart just the same. Her chance to really know her had been cruelly ripped away.
She remembered her daily trips to the Children's Center, where she would spend hours coloring, reading, and even playing dolls with Emily. They'd played doctor, time, and time again. Emily had insisted on being the doctor, leaving Dana to play the patient. The pregnant patient. What an adventure that had been. A tiny smile flirted with her lips at the memory of the small three-year-old instructing her to put the baby doll up her shirt so she looked pregnant. Going against her grown-up inhibitions, Scully had complied. And everyday Emily told her very seriously that it was time for her to have the baby.
The 'delivery' had consisted of the seasoned FBI agent lying down on the floor while Emily first listened to her heartbeat with a fake stethoscope and then pretended to cut her stomach open. She proceeded to pull the doll out from underneath Dana's shirt. Finally as she'd hand the doll to Scully, all wrapped in a pink blanket she'd said: "Congratulations, Mommy."
Tears stained Scully's cheeks as she shoved the happy, but painful, memory to a far corner of her mind. She couldn't think about that now, she'd go crazy if she thought about it now; she'd think about it later.
She turned on the radio to banish all thought and tried to compose herself enough to go inside and face her mother and partner. She focused on the music. It was country, but she'd never heard it before. She'd obviously come in during the middle of the song, but she as she listened to the words they struck a strong chord with her.
Well it must be kind of crowded,
On the streets of Heaven.
So tell me, what do ya need her for?
Why God? Why take Emily now, when she had such a chance at life. So many things to live for?
Don't You know one day she'll be your little girl forever
But right now I need her so much more
It wasn't fair. Emily was her daughter but she'd barely gotten to know her. Wouldn't have even met her if the men who made her had their way.
She's much too young to be on her own
Barely just turned seven
So who will hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven
What kind of world was it where men would condemn a child to death from the second she was created. What kind of God would allow it?
Lord don't you know, she's my angel?
You got, plenty of your own
And I know you hold a place for her
But she's already got a home
Was it selfish to want Emily to remain among the living? Living but sick, in need of shots to keep her alive. Was Scully a selfish person to want Emily to be her daughter?
Well I don't know if you're listenin'
But praying is all that's left to do
So I ask you Lord have mercy, You lost a son once too
Dana's sprout of faith in the church was already taking a serious beating with Emily's death. What kind of loving, merciful God would let a child die. Why would He even let her be born if her only hope was to die?
Then again, He sent His own son to die, but that was for the good of the whole world wasn't it? Maybe Emily had a purpose in death, some calling she couldn't fulfil in life.
And it must be kind of crowded
On the streets of Heaven
So tell me: what do ya need her for?
Why was she needed then? What could she possibly do in death that couldn't in life. Be a guardian angel?
Don't you know one day she'll be your little girl forever
But right now, I need her so much more
Lord I know, once you've made up your mind
There's no use in beggin
So if you take her with you today, will you make sure she looks both ways,
And would you hold her hand when she crosses the streets of Heaven
"Please," Sully begged the Heavens, and the God she still believed in, "Please take care of my little girl."
Streets of Heaven
The song faded into commercials and Scully was left in the tonelessness. She felt considerably more at peace, but no more composed. She checked her face in the mirror, her eyes were puffy and red. Her make-up, or what was left of it, was streaked and her hair was a mess from lying on the hospital pillow with Emily.
After rubbing her make-up away she decided she was fighting a losing battle and that the car was to cold to stay in. It was time to get out. Out of everything for a few brief hours at least. Maybe tomorrow would look brighter. She reached the front porch but before she went inside she stared up to the heavens, sending one last prayer up to the stars and then finally disappeared through the door. Into a home that held people who loved her. That was one consolation. She and Emily were now both in places where they could be surrounded by people who loved them.
Fin
A/N: The first time I heard the song 'Streets of Heaven' I bawled, and I also thought of 'Christmas Carol' and 'Emily.' The song seemed to fit the episodes perfectly, in my mind anyhoo, so for six months I've been thinking about writing a fic with it. Now I finally did, unfortunately I scribbled out the first draft at two in the blessed a.m. So I hope that you enjoyed the result regardless of my sleep deprivation. I'd love to hear what you thought so drop me a line at: , or just review. Thanks for reading!