Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Author's sayings
This is the first chapter of the story. Read and laugh! Hahahahahahahahaha! No seriously, read it.
Dumbledore is walking in the street in Little Whinging sucking light from lamposts so muggles(Non magical folks.) doesn't see him. Then he sees a cat meowing next to him.
Dumbledore Aww. A cute little cat next to me. Aww. So cute!
Cat transforms to an ugly woman
Dumbledore Eww! A disgusting, ugly woman is right next to me! Ugh! Starts running into lamp posts.
McGonagall Slaps Dumbledore in the face. Ugly Woman am I!? Well you're an old man!
Dumbledore Well this may be shocking but unlike the real Dumbledore I am a lot younger than him!
McGonagall You ARE the REAL Dumbledore! How can you be a head master if there's too many stupitidy in your brain!
Dumbledore starts crying. Professor McGonagall ingnores him. Dumbledore stops crying.
Dumbledore Crap! You know fake crying doesn't work anymore! Smacks his head to a car. Car's glass shatters into pieces.
McGonagall Incase you haven't noticed I always knew you were fake crying all these times!
Dumbledore Really!?
McGonagall So, are the rumors true?
Dumbledore I'm afraid they are. I was bitten by my pet dog BoBo.
McGonagall Not that one! The other one!
Dumbledore Hmm? Oh right! Starts laughing. In Hogwarts we will now use ink from China now.
A big fat man comes out of nowhere with a baby in his lap. The baby starts to fly in the air and smacked to the floor with a great scar.
Hagrid Now the baby has 2 scars! 1 is permanent and the other is not!
McGonagall So it is true. The boy's parents has died and the boy lived with a lightning bolt scar from He-Who-Must-Not Be-Named.
Hagrid Afraid it is Professor McGonagall.
Dumbledore takes the baby and puts it down in the door mat with a letter.
Dumbledore Good luck. Hairy Pervert.
McGonagall Wrong name.
Dumbledore Oh! I meant Good luck. Hasel Panther
Hagrid Try again.
Dumbledore Hell Paint?
Mcgonagall Walks to Dumbledore and whispers something to his ears.
Dumbledore WHAT! That's a frickin stupid, name!
McGonagall I'll buy you 25 free beers.(Teasing voice.)
Dumbledore Good Luck. Harry Potter.
Author's Sayings
Well. That's the first chapter! Was it funny? I wanna know so WRITE SOME REVIEWS! Reviews make you happy! No Reviews makes you sad. Thank you for reading the first chapter of this parody!