Hi all... So I'm trying to get back in the swing of things...This little fic just gushed out of me for some reason...(Start small) SO NOT CALLIAN...And all you Zoe haters out there...PLease Just give this a look ...then stop and think...Maybe just Maybe...
Disclaimer as Norm
LOSING HIM.
She was losing him and she knew it.
Losing him to his work, his science, his new life – to Foster.
He didn't know it, not consciously yet, but it was there, just under the surface, bubbling through every time they had another meaningless argument.
All the blaming it on the late nights, her work, his 'seeing too much!' - just excuses.
Sooner or later when he searched her face, looking for answers, he would see that she knew the truth of it and then he would have to accept it too.
XX
But Cal Lightman was stubborn!
His sense of family above all else, born out of the hell of his own, lost and messed up history, would stop him from acting on the truth even if he finally allowed himself to acknowledge it.
So, ultimately, the final action would have to be hers.
She would have to be the destructor of their worlds.
XX
What was it , the words in that song...
"If you love someone then set them free.
"If they came back again – then in the end – it was meant to be" He would not come back. Oh yes he would hover – always around in the shadows, for her at least, in the light for Emily.
He would never come back though, not to what they were.
What they 'were' was long gone anyway, a façade had taken it's place – an ongoing performance where the finale was now hers to construct.
xx
She had been practicing for months now.
Learning to show him less and less of the love she still held - learning how to bury that and only allow him to see the distancing, the contempt, the boredom, the desire to have it all end.
He seemed to be accepting those lies.
He needed to, wanted to.
He HAD to accept and believe in those if he were ever to allow himself to accept the inevitable ending they were so close to now.
xx
So she tried to make it as easy as possible for him - Well after all, all lawyers had to be great actors didn't they?
So she was losing him – No – She had lost him, in all but the physical reality of it.
Time to let go.
Time to set him free.
Time to stop her heart from doing all but the mundane things like pumping blood round her body.
xx
The tears were heavy in the well that she so often used nowadays to keep them from falling.
Don't! DON'T cry – You're a bitch! A bitch you hear me! Don't let it all fall apart now.
God she desperately wanted a drink, but she couldn't allow herself even that at this point.
Nothing that would hinder her resolve, weaken her walls and allow him the merest hint that she was anything but the cold, unfeeling bitch that she was about to be.
xx
The argument this evening had been particularly vicious. She had pushed ALL the right buttons this time not just some of them.
Now he was in their bedroom silently analysing the content of the words no doubt!
She was in their kitchen preparing for the final curtain.
Further words of that stupid song drifted into her mind.
"Be true to yourself my love, that's all I ever wanted you to be, just don't forget to smile when you think of me"
Well maybe…years later when the hatred for her that she still about to instil in him faded slightly.
Maybe if he ever looked deep inside and faced the truth of what she was doing now – for him.
xx
"CAL"
"WOT?"
"I want a divorce"
FIN