Author's note: Well this is gunna be my first fanfic in the Final Fantasy VIII section. This is actually my first attempt at humor. I usually write romance and drama type stuff, but sometimes I just need a break from that, ya know? ;) Please read and review. Tell me if I'm actually funny or trying too hard. It's much appreciated. This is a three part story (they are all kinda short though) I will post the other 2 parts if anyone is really interested. :) Oh yeh... I was inspired to write this story one day when I was watching Unsolved Mysteries on Lifetime. There was a story about a Russian guy who claimed to be able to heal people of any problem they had. Wether it's true or not, I don't know, but I thought it would be funny to do a kinda parody of him and the FF8 gang! Enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. I don't own Square. You know the deal.
Selphie and the Mad Russian ~ Part 1
Selphie and the FF8 gang were all hanging out in Balamb Garden. It was another typical day, everyone was sitting in the cafeteria eating their lunch while watching TV. Selphie was running around like a psychotic poodle looking for something.
Selphie: Has anyone seen my pixie sticks?!?!?!?!
Zell: Be quiet Selphie! We're trying to watch this new show... What's it called?
Quistis: Unsolved Mysteries. Why don't you sit down and watch with us Selphie??
Selphie: NOT UNTIL I FIND MY PIXIE STICKS!
Selphie continued to run franticly around the cafeteria searching for her beloved pixie sticks. That's when the show started...
TV: Next on Unsolved Mysteries ~ Yefim Maximo, an immigrant from Moscow, Russia, claims to have healed thousands of people who have visited his office in Boston over the past 20 years. Their complaints range from addictions to chronic pain and even phobias. People from all over the country and the world seek out his unusual ability to cure. With a mere wave of his hand, Maximo changes people's lives forever.
Squall: Addictions...?
Just then Selphie found her pixie sticks that were on top of the TV.
Selphie: Whoo-hoo! I found them!!
The FF8 gang all look at each other. They all had the same thought.
Squall: Maybe we should bring Selphie to that guy and get rid of her annoying pixie stick addiction.
Selphie: *while pouring the sugar into her mouth* I dun have an addiction!!!
Quistis: Yes you do Selphie. Look! Your tongue is permanently blue.
Selphie: Noooo!! It's PURPLE!!
Zell: That's disgusting.
Irvine: Tell me about it. Your not the one who has to kiss her.
Selphie: You guys are soooo MEAN! These pixie sticks are really GOOD!!!!!! *eats a few more*
Rinoa: She really does need help.
Selphie: I DO NOT!!
Irvine: Selphie you do. This addiction has gone far enough.
Quistis: Irvine's right. Let's go see that guy. Maybe he can help her.
Rinoa: But we don't know anything about him.
Squall: It doesn't matter. Let's go!
Irvine gets up and grabs Selphie.
Selphie: Noo! I dont want to go. I want my pixie sticks!!!
Irvine pulls her away as she struggles to get her pixie sticks. The others walk ahead of Irvine and out of the cafeteria.
Squall: To Boston!
Selphie: NOOO! I WANT MY PIXIE STICKS!!
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. I don't own Square. You know the deal.
Selphie and the Mad Russian ~ Part 1
Selphie and the FF8 gang were all hanging out in Balamb Garden. It was another typical day, everyone was sitting in the cafeteria eating their lunch while watching TV. Selphie was running around like a psychotic poodle looking for something.
Selphie: Has anyone seen my pixie sticks?!?!?!?!
Zell: Be quiet Selphie! We're trying to watch this new show... What's it called?
Quistis: Unsolved Mysteries. Why don't you sit down and watch with us Selphie??
Selphie: NOT UNTIL I FIND MY PIXIE STICKS!
Selphie continued to run franticly around the cafeteria searching for her beloved pixie sticks. That's when the show started...
TV: Next on Unsolved Mysteries ~ Yefim Maximo, an immigrant from Moscow, Russia, claims to have healed thousands of people who have visited his office in Boston over the past 20 years. Their complaints range from addictions to chronic pain and even phobias. People from all over the country and the world seek out his unusual ability to cure. With a mere wave of his hand, Maximo changes people's lives forever.
Squall: Addictions...?
Just then Selphie found her pixie sticks that were on top of the TV.
Selphie: Whoo-hoo! I found them!!
The FF8 gang all look at each other. They all had the same thought.
Squall: Maybe we should bring Selphie to that guy and get rid of her annoying pixie stick addiction.
Selphie: *while pouring the sugar into her mouth* I dun have an addiction!!!
Quistis: Yes you do Selphie. Look! Your tongue is permanently blue.
Selphie: Noooo!! It's PURPLE!!
Zell: That's disgusting.
Irvine: Tell me about it. Your not the one who has to kiss her.
Selphie: You guys are soooo MEAN! These pixie sticks are really GOOD!!!!!! *eats a few more*
Rinoa: She really does need help.
Selphie: I DO NOT!!
Irvine: Selphie you do. This addiction has gone far enough.
Quistis: Irvine's right. Let's go see that guy. Maybe he can help her.
Rinoa: But we don't know anything about him.
Squall: It doesn't matter. Let's go!
Irvine gets up and grabs Selphie.
Selphie: Noo! I dont want to go. I want my pixie sticks!!!
Irvine pulls her away as she struggles to get her pixie sticks. The others walk ahead of Irvine and out of the cafeteria.
Squall: To Boston!
Selphie: NOOO! I WANT MY PIXIE STICKS!!