I never thought that I would fall in love with anyone then Takahiro. My unreluinted love was stronger that anything. Well so I thought. And then 1 day comes a D-grade idiot that I agreed on to tutore so that he could to the the M-University. Well I did it mostly because Takahiro asked me to. But so this D-grade idiot comes into my house. Sees a book lying with me and Takahiro on the cover and barge into my room telling me that everybody will do the job except his brother. This idiot actually meant that everyone will do both in my BL novels as in my private life and in bed. I was so angry at the boy that I grabbed him, to pleasure him only to make fun of the kid afterwards. It was stupid when I think of it. He could go to Takahiro and tell him everything and then this all would be over. Or friendship that lasted 10 years. Everything.
Yet the kid didn't go to him and when we sat down and I was helping him, he saw right trough me. He knew that I loved Takahiro and asked why I didn't go after him. I answered him and he just said that it was stupid. Slowly I began to change my mind of the kid. And then comes Takahiro's birthday. Takahiro's younger brother happy to show him his good grades and me who bought the gifts as his younger brother forgot this entirely. After I gave Takahiro his gift he introduces me and Misaki to his future wife. It hurt me alot, but I manage to hide it with a smile and I congratulate him. Misaki, Takahiro's younger brother, however is not doing well. We all look at him when he hit his fist against the doorpost. The only thing he says is that we need more champagne. Takahiro tells him he is too young and Misaki only answers with "Usagi san will come with me."
He pulls me out of the house and we walk around the corner until we stop at a lamppost. I hear him cry and I tell him not to act so pityful that he should be happy for his brother. Then he turns around and looks angry at me.
"I am not crying for that. I am crying for you! How can Nii-san be so cruel. I hate him. He didn't has the right to hurt you like that! How can you just take it like that!" He shouts with tears in his eyes.
I then saw that he didn't care about himself, but that he was crying about my love that I lost. I grabbed Misaki and I kissed him. I kissed him for 2 reasons. 1 he would stop crying and 2 he saw through my facade. He saw that I was in pain and he cried for me. I then hold him while I silently cried on his shoulder. I believe it was then that I fell in love with the younger Takahashi.
After that Misaki is living with me and is taking care of me. He makes the food, cleans the house, making sure that I make my deadlines and keeps Aikawa happy. He is also making sure I go to the Award and the celebrations. However that all is only giving me a reason to pleasuring him even when he tries to deny that he wants it. Misaki is a wonderful kid and his way of acting never leaves the idea that he loves me. All I have to admit that to actually hear him saying that would make me extremly happy. I can only hope that one day he will tell me.
"Ano, Usagi-san? Are you okay?" Asked Misaki worried.
"Hai Misaki. Just tired. Need to fill my energy with Misaki." I say while grinning to him. Misaki reacted the same way as ever. He tried to run away and I grab him and throw him softly on the couch. And it happened the exact same way only this time Misaki said something that stopped me.
"Stop seeing me as a subsitute for Nii-san!" Shouted the younger Takahashi with tears in his eyes. Misaki didn't cry that much so I was suprised and reacted on his words. I grabbed him and hold him against me.
"You are not a subsitute for Takahiro." I said to him. Misaki however believed something else.
"Yes I am. You just can't stop loving someone like that. Not the way like you loved Nii-san." Said Misaki with tears over his cheeks.
"It is true that I loved you brother very much, but he is married and I got over him. Remember that night at Takahiro's birthday? When he told us that he was going to marry?" At Misaki's nod I continued. "You got angry for me that night and you cried for me. You saw through my facade and saw the pain I felt. On the moment that you cried for my sake I thought 'ahh, he is the one.' I did think so then and I think so now. I love you Misaki, not Takahiro." After saying this I kissed him and tried to show all my feelings in it. It seemed that Misaki knew what it meant as he didn't moved away or anything.
The way that Misaki was lying on the couch, totally out of breath, a flush on his cheeks. How could I resist that. I made, in my eyes, love to him. I gave him the pleasure and I know that he enjoyed it. Now months after he still didn't told me that he loved me too and slowly I am beginning to think that Misaki doesn't love me at all. Things happened and now I find myself in Sumi's living room to get Misaki. Well that was the plan. Sumi was telling me that Misaki didn't love me and I'm doing everything against his will. The biggest problem is that I am starting to believe Sumi because why else would Misaki never say that he loves me? I see Sumi coming closer to me and that he tries to kiss me and I don't even see the point in moving away. The idea that Misaki hates me hurts me alot. So I sit still and let Sumi do whatever he wants. Maybe it will give Misaki a way to get away from me. Before Sumi kisses me I am pulled up and I look suprised to see that it is Misaki who is holding my arm. Yet I am more suprised by his words.
"Usagi-san is mine and mine alone. Don't ever touch him!" Panted Misaki angry. I try to compose myself and I see the anger disappear from Misaki.
"You heard him Sumi. We will be going now." I say and as we are going I hear Misaki speak.
"Sorry Sempai. See you at school." After that we left. I noticed that Misaki is angry at me for the fact that I let Sumi almost kiss me. I am still worried that he hates me and I needed honesty. I needed to know what Misaki fell for me and so I asked him.
"Misaki, do you love me?"
"Eh... Ano... Usagi-san... Why do you ask? Said Misaki nervous and I thought, well more believed, that Misaki didn't love me. So I asked it again.
"Do you love me Misaki? Please answer me."
"Why... why are you asking that. If it is because of Sumi-Sempai. Usagi-san don't worry about that." Answered Misaki. He tried to comfort me, but couldn't he see that it only made it worse? Was saying that he loved me that difficult?
"I'll be in the study working." After saying that I left Misaki alone in the living room and walked to the study. I got a sigaret and smoked it and tried to work.
After that day I tried not to touch Misaki and to avoid him in the hope that it would make him happier. It all went well until one day Misaki spoke to me after dinner, one of the few moments we saw each other.
"Usagi-san? I don't hate you. You make me happy and more. Just stop avoiding me, please. You told me in Osaka that you would stay next to me forever, but you aren't even close to me. You aren't talking to me. Just stop avoiding me." Said Misaki just hard enough so that I could hear him.
I looked at him and it seemed like he didn't like my passive attitude. He did however tried to take me on. To take the lead. Maybe one day he can do that, but that day isn't now. In the end we slept together. When we were going to sleep I heard Misaki talk softly.
"I love you, Usagi-san." It was very quiet and I had to tease him a little bit.
"What did you say Misaki? I didn't quite hear you." I smiled because I could already guess what he would say.
"You heard me good enough! And Usagi-san? I am happy that you are you again." Said Misaki with a soft smile on his face.
"Oh really and here I thought that you would be happy with me not touching you." I told him this with a grin.
"I was! But you reacted all weird and so I was worried about you!" Said Misaki quickly and I think that he would blush or be a little embarassed. I myself was happy because not only did Misaki love me, he also worried about me. He really is cute, but I better not tell him this.
"Thank you Misaki. I love you too." I told him. After this Misaki moved closer to me and I hugged him more. We both fell asleep like this.
Who would ever thought that I would fall in love with the D-grade, sensitive, nice and younger Takahashi. I for one never thought that it would happen and to think that he did more for me. I can say that I was lucky to meet him. I wouldn't want it any other way, at least not anymore.