Doting Madman
By Karen Hart
Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille Zur Macht, or any following episodes. I am merely writing this out of love of the game, and my own interpretation of what the characters might do or have done in a given situation.
Such a simple thing, creating a bit of code. Only little bits of incomprehensible symbols strung together, but they often have such remarkable results. So why am I having so much trouble with this…? Ah, no matter. I shouldn't rush on this—no, on her. I'll move onto something else, work some more on the emotional sublayers.
My eyes hurt. What time is it? 6:24PM. No wonder I'm dragging. Juli will be upset again by the time I get home, though I can't really blame her, given how much time I've spent in this lab. Ah, she will be very upset, and she'll claim that I'm changing, growing more distant. Perhaps I am, but oh, if she knew why! If she could see what I'm making for her, for our Sakura.
I admit it's my fault that Sakura's the way she is now. If I hadn't brought her with me to the main lab, then that U-DO phenomenon wouldn't've—well, it still would've gone out of control, but at least she wouldn't have been there to suffer for it! But I don't regret my work, and I don't regret wanting her there—I was a proud father, wanting to show off my little girl. Who wouldn't be, with a daughter like her, all bright eyed curiosity and fascination? And I still am, because even if she can no longer speak, even if her face shows no emotions, still, there's something in her eyes…
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I wonder if that's true.
But, it's still my fault, and even if Juli has accepted that it was an accident—terrible, but nonetheless, an accident—she's never really forgiven me for taking away our daughter's voice and smile. Not even after, what, eight years? It's been so long… Though, I don't blame her.
Still, I'm trying to fix that, even if I'm sneaking around about it. I've termed this project "MOMO" for now. A little sister for Sakura, of sorts. Somethi—no, closer to someone, really, even if she's completely synthetic. She'll be able to link up with Sakura, so that our daughter can finally communicate with the outside world. It must be terrible for her right now. I'm sure she knows what's going on out here, she just can't say anything about it, can't respond to it.
I know Juli's trying other methods to reach Sakura, over at the Yuriev Institute. Perhaps it will bear more fruit that what I'm doing here, but I can't stop. Not until MOMO is completed. (It occurs to me that once she is complete, I should probably give her a real name, rather than an acronym, but I'll get to that later.) Then Sakura will be able to tell her mother everything she's wanted to over these past several years. But the project's still a little ways away from completion, and I'm honestly not sure that things will hold up. They have to, though. They have to!
Put up with me, with my silence, a bit longer, Juli. Then I can give you what I've wanted to give you for so long. Just a bit more time. You'll hear her soon enough.
I promise you will.
6:37PM. I'd better get moving…