A/N: I'm so sorry I made another one I'm a beautiful fucking disaster.

For impavid fool and Ponderess because ya'll have been dying for this.


Shadis is just about as terrifying today as he is any other day of the week – the anger is set like clockwork into his features, every aged crevice in his face bleeding apathy and nostrils permanently flared because, let's be honest, when was this man ever anything other than a tense ball of murderous rage? Even now, the dark rings defining his eyes shadow the unkempt bitterness he displays towards every trainee in this division… particularly the two soldiers poised on the other side of his office desk.

Especially the two soldiers poised on the other side of his office desk.

"You both understand why you're here, don't you?"

His voice is placid, for the moment, but he's hissing every word through his teeth. The punishments are burning behind the film of his irises. The only thing more horrifying than a Titan was Shadis, and the only thing more dangerous than Shadis was a Shadis you successfully managed to piss the ever loving fuck out of. Eren can safely say that he should have written a last will or testimony. Maybe that way, when /if/ they find his remains, Mikasa and Armin will have something to remember him by…besides, you know, his ashes.

Annie shifts at Eren's side, her shoulder brushing lightly against his flexed upper arm as he struggles to keep the stillest salute he has ever mustered. "We are aware, sir," Annie begins, "that the accusations being held so severely against us are as follows: disruption of a learning environment, inappropriate actions during a learning session, and…"

Eren leans toward her, drawing his voice down to a whisper. "And violating the code of conduct."

"Ah, yes, and violating the code of conduct during an instructor-issued exam. Perhaps I should throw in 'distressing fellow trainees and classmates in their learning environment', while we're at it."

Shadis rises gradually from his seat, and Eren swears the man might actually grow until his shadow is completely cast over them. "Is there something about your predicament you find amusing, Miss Leonhardt?"

This is it, Eren realizes, this is where we die. I have failed you, Mother

Annie's eyes widen slightly and she quickly casts her gaze to the floor. "N-No sir, I was just making… uh, an inquiry."

Shadis scoffs humorlessly, folding his hands behind his back as he paces over to his office window where he has a perfect view of the sparring grounds. His ever judgmental gaze diverts around the trainees scattered along the field. "Now I do not have all the details of what, exactly, you two were doing that landed both your asses in here at the same damn time"—Eren prods Annie's elbow with his own and raises his eyebrows, but she responds with a punch in the arm he nearly bites through his tongue trying not to yelp at—"so if you want a lenient punishment, I suggest you brats start talking."

Eren parts his lips to make up some probably bullshit excuse when Annie's hand clutches his manly assets with expert fingers, firm but not painful, fairly delicate for what she's done to him before. His words jumble and eventually slide out as a strangled gasp.

Shadis whirls to face him but Annie's fist is already clenched behind her back. "What was that, Jaeger? Or is a month's worth of kitchen duty not enough for you?"

"No, no I-" he struggles awkwardly for the right words. "I just–"

"Instructor Shadis!" A voice calls out, and a moment later one of their division's superiors appears in the threshold of the office doorway. "I found these two"—he pulls up Connie and Jean by their collars—"avoiding their session and snooping around the barracks."

"We weren't snooping around anywhere," Jean stresses.

Shadis narrows his glare at Eren and Annie. "Stay put," he coerces with the daggers in his every word before he's stepping outside the office. Eren can only give them a sympathetic glimpse before the door is slammed shut, delving the room in complete and utter silence. A moment later Shadis's muffled screaming at the two of their endless list of punishments reverberates through the thick walls.

Eren wonders what, exactly, Jean and Connie were doing that was so wrong (probably setting up those prank traps on Bertholdt again), but figures he can find out later – assuming the two make it through this in one piece.

Suddenly, Annie grabs him by his waist and throws him back against the desk, the hunk of redwood grinding against the floorboards as it jolts back several inches. "What are you doing?!" he exclaims, but she covers his mouth with her palm. She's already unbuckling his belt and her fingers are wrapped around his zipper. Oh, he knows what she's doing. But here? In Shadis's office with the batshit crazy man himself just ten steps outside the office door?

"You," she whispers, sliding the teeth apart with a graceful tug, "owe me for that embarrassment in class."

"Well you didn't have a problem during the exam the other day, and judging by the way you let my name slip, you certainly didn't have a problem with it during today's lec"—she buries her hand in the front of his shorts, grasping his shaft—"fucking – lecture!"

"You need to work on keeping quiet," she purrs sensually against his cheek, kissing the corner of his lips. "Shadis is right outside… Imagine if he heard you." She pushes down his undershorts, guiding his throbbing erection into the open air. "Or, if Connie heard you…" She curls her fingers around him again (and as far as she's concerned, he's fairly well-endowed) and a small, almost uncharacteristic smirk works at her lips when she feels him twitch in her grasp. "Maybe even Jean, of all people?"

"I get it," he grumbles.

She digs her nail into the fleshy base of his head and he gasps. Her hand moves down to stroke him carefully, testing his reaction as the pad of her thumb massages the underside of his length. She's tracing him carefully, drawing out beads of pre-cum from his tortured tip, and when one of his hands subconsciously slides along her shoulder to gently cup her neck, she releases him briefly to spit on her palm.

The applied lubricant eases her strokes so she can jerk him off with newly applied pressure. "Shit," he utters under his breath, eyelids corkscrewed shut so he can focus completely on this, on her, on the pleasure riding through his being.

The first time she tried this with him was a few months back, when they were taking a break from sparring on a shaded plateau in the forest in attempt to escape the brutal heat, but she hadn't thought to ease the friction between their flesh… and he wasn't surprised when his skin burned like a summer fire for the rest of the week. And she had been too hard, at one point forcing a fairly concerned comment from him: "Easy Annie, don't rip my dick off. I need it."

Her second time, when he found her by the riverbed after an extensive day of wilderness survival training, she pushed him back against a tree and asked him to spit on her hand. She perfected the art of – well… not ripping his manhood straight from his pelvis. It was almost like a breakthrough.

(It's not quite fair to say he had gotten the hang of exactly how to pleasure her the first couple of times through, because he did require some instructions and a handful of scolding comments, but he also didn't just wedge his fingers inside of her and expect it to feel good.)

But now she's got the hang of it and strokes him at a steady pace, with the perfect halfway point between too much pressure and not enough. Shit, it's amazing really. Sub-consciously remembering that Shadis is out, he attempts to keep his attention divided between this and the muffled shouting resonating through the walls but his mind is buzzing on the edge of the complete blankness now, too far gone to give a shit anymore.

"Annie."

"Close?" she muses, picking up her tempo.

He nods absently, graciously rocking his hips to meet her on the backstroke. His grasp on her neck tightens, not hard, but he has his nails digging into the arch of her spine to keep him grounded in reality, in the here and now. Shadis's screeching has suddenly died down. Eren parts his lips to make a brisk comment about it when Annie occupies his mouth with hers, swallowing his complaints with a seductive roll of her tongue.

"Don't fight it," she utters entrancingly when she pulls away. She reaches over to the desk and grabs a random document that could probably be important but it didn't really matter right now, crunches it up over the cap of her knee and presses the indentation gently to his swelled tip.

"I'm not but – mm, fuck…"

"But?"

"I think Shadis is coming back."

"Then you'd better hurry, Eren." She says his name in that husky voice of hers, domineering and challenging, almost a sneer if she wasn't being so goddamn affectionate. There's something in her words that reverberates through her fingertips, like sparks that jump and skitter across the plane of his skin, and he can't help but moan in compliance. The muscles in his pelvis are beginning to burn with the promise of a bittersweet finish.

She clamps down without warning, giving him several final, hard strokes.

"Come for me, Eren."

"Ah!"—he tosses his head up, and just like that, he's gone. He releases into the paper, twice, a third time, before he leans both hands onto the desktop to keep himself upright, basking in the relief almost thankfully.

"That a boy," Annie says reassuringly. She bunches the soiled sheet into a ball and tosses it into Shadis's trash can.

"Shit," Eren hisses under his breath as he tucks himself back in, fastening the button on his pants, "did I ever tell you that you might be too good at this?"

"If you liked that, you should try the rest of me."

The door knob twists and they only spare each other a quick glimpse before they jump back into line to assume their previous positions, saluting and gazes straight at the window. Oh shit, the window. The wide open window, where they can see the trainees and the trainees can see them. Judging by the way a handful of familiar faces are either bright red with the acknowledgement that they did indeed just witness what happened or how Reiner instantly raises his fist, Eren realizes that being able to look his comrades in the eyes again would take three trust falls and a swarm of Titans.

Shadis storms into the room, leaving the door wide open as it had been before, and he's grumbling profanities under his breath. He glances at the duo of trainees still poised in their original places before his desk.

His desk looks misplaced.

He doesn't care right now.

"In light of the reprimanding I just gave those other two imbeciles, I've decided that I am now in a very generous mood." Generous he says like he wants to personally skin them alive. "So I can get you the hell out of my office, I'll let you both off with a warning. This time. If I get another report about your disruptive behavior I'll have you both on your knees at the riverfront scrubbing the stains out of every single bed sheet with your bare nails. Do I make myself clear?!"

"Sir!" They recite together, almost robotically.

"Get the fuck out of my sight."

.

.

.

"Did you guys hear?" Reiner remarks at dinner to the general audience of the mess hall, since not many people are chatting tonight anyway. When he's certain he has a majority of their attention, he drones on, undeterred. "Apparently Shadis misplaced the score sheet with our test results on it."

"Does that mean we'll have to take it again?" Marco stresses from several tables away.

"Looks like."

A chorus of agitation, complaints and general, apathetic noises washes through the cafeteria. Connie groans as he slams his forehead into his arms. "But I actually studied for that exam!"

Annie, sitting beside Eren with one hand lazily tracing patterns along the inside of his thigh, merely shrugs. "Oops."

As soon as the realization hits him, Eren chokes on his cider.