No one is immune to change. Not even Massu.
I want to bury myself in your arms, deep enough to count your heartbeat and say "Please don't change." But that is too selfish and too unfair for you. So I just resign into hoping and wishing that you would not drift away from what we are. From what we're supposed to be.
After all these years that I took your 'sameness' for granted, I never knew that I would one day hold on to it desperately because it would be the only thing to keep me grounded.
"Massu..." I sometimes wake up panting and sweating in my sleep. As if I'd been running around a soccer match. Only more exhausted. Afterwards I would stay up thinking of ways to go back to sleep without going back to the nightmare.
Talking about it now, technically it wasn't a nightmare. All that happened was you've had a change of heart and that you want to experience new things. So you left. That's it. But then I remember clearly how I struggled just to wake up from it.
I've come know many things across my time in this industry. However, I had absolutely no idea that you leaving is so frightening. Heck I didn't even consider it could happen. That's how stable and meaningful your existence means to me I guess. Like water on earth or stars in the galaxy. God it sounds so dramatic I know, but I'm not ashamed even though I find it to be true. This is more than just you, me or love now. It is life.
"Tegoshi?"
"..."
"Tegoshi!"
"Huh? What?" Tegoshi blinks in surprise as he gets snapped out of his reverie.
"I've been asking if you would like to go out and eat. Geez. You could just say no if you don't want to. You don't have to ignore me." Massu wanted to pout.
"I'm sorry. Of course I'd go. It's your treat after all." Tegoshi smiles his Yuuko smile, clearly recovering from his deep-thinking not more than a few minutes ago.
"Are you okay? You seem to be thinking of something serious a while ago. Your eyebrows were furrowed and you kept on shaking you head." Massu worried.
"I'm fine. I just remembered something. Don't worry about it." He chirped.
"Are you sure? We can always eat out next time if you've got something to do."
"No no. I'm really alright. C'mon I'm hungry." He assured him then went to drag him out of the room.
After all, I just want to spend as much time with you as possible.