Nothing matters anymore.
My mouth barely twitched as I felt myself tear. Warm blood started to trickle down my legs, but he kept pounding into me. Mercilessly. Violently. Selfishly. He suddenly grabbed my hair and yanked my head back. A pained groan escaped my mouth, barely audible above the slapping of skin on skin and the grunts escaping from his mouth.
The thrusting picked up pace and became more sporadic. He abruptly slowed to a stop and gripped my hips with a bruising strength as he spilled his seed in me. He released my hips unceremoniously, leaving them to thump on the bed. I didn't dare move from my position on my stomach. He left the bed and started shifting through the drawers, making it feel as if my heart beat painfully slow. Everything felt heavy, even swallowing felt like gravel sliding down my throat. I could feel the sticky substance start to seep out of my entrance. I felt my hand being lifted and heard the clink of the cuff locking. He repeated the action with my other hand.
'A deal probably didn't go his way today.'
I was a bit puzzled that he locked them with different cuffs, until he moved my right hand to my right leg and cuffed my wrist to my ankle. He repeated this on the left side. This resulted with me on my knees with my ass in the air. It forced me to be completely open and vulnerable before him. Completely restrained and unable to resist. Not that I would have anyway. I lost the will to fight back when he becomes like this a while ago. I kept telling myself that he just had a bad day and that everything will get better.
It didn't.
He became more violent each time he came home like this. At first, he just fucked me a bit harder than usual, but it was still somewhat pleasurable. He still cared to make me cum, to feel ecstasy. It progressed to being restrained in some small way while we did it, but later I did not feel the excitement or adrenaline when he retrieved the cuffs from the drawers anymore. I only felt apprehension and eventually fear. But when I resisted, even a little, then I would be punished. Last time I struggled when he cuffed my hands to the bedpost. As punishment, he introduced my back to a whip. It is not something I want to repeat. To cope, I started to mentally distance myself. I do not cry out, I barely groan or sigh, I don't resist, and I have become completely impotent. I sometimes wonder whether he really is so self-absorbed that he doesn't realise that I haven't become even a little hard once in at least two weeks when we have done this. But I have come to the conclusion that he actually doesn't care. He cares for no-one except Asami Ryuichi. I know this is toxic, but I love him. Everyone gets frustrated, and sometimes they just take out their anger on the ones they love, right? Or am I just a toy to relieve his stress of the day?
I bit my tongue at the sudden whack of the wooden paddle on my ass. Swallowing the blood in my mouth I turned my head to the side, waiting for the night to be over as my body rocked with each powerful hit of the paddle.