Warning! I do not own Harry Potter (I wish I did) and/or anything related to the franchise!

This is a silly story for me to work on when I feel like it, so chapters won't be updated daily or anything- they'll come out when I want them to come out. This is a story that can only be described as 'fur da lulz' and thus should not be taken seriously! Any bad writing tropes (Mary Sues, OC x Canon and other shit) are used on purpose (fur da lulz!)

Once we arrived to Hogwarts, we made our way into the Great Hall and to our House Tables. I took a seat between two other girls in my year, Dominique and Evanthe. Being a Gryffindor, I sat at the table at the far right, but on the left side of it, so I could lean in and talk to the Ravenclaws if I wanted to.

As the professors set up the stage, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and saw the owner of the hand: it was Rain.

"Hellfire told me her younger brother will be in the Sorting Ceremony this year." He said as he brushed his golden-blond hair out of his eyes, "So, anyone you know being sorted?"

"Nah." I replied and went back to my conversation with Evanthe. Rain sighed and went back to the book he was reading.

After a good 20 minutes, the stage was ready, and Professor Longbottom, Deputy Headmaster, started to read out names from a scroll.

"Alderton, Zoey."

A young girl with coal black hair shuffled in awkwardly and sat on the stool in front of her. The Sorting Hat was placed upon her head. I took out my stopwatch- I liked to time how long it took for a student to be sorted, being a hatstall myself.

Zoey Alderton took 1 minute and 3 seconds to be sorted into Ravenclaw. The residents on the table currently to the left of me stood up to congratulate her.

"Bode, Gertrude."

Gertrude Bode was twice the side of Zoey Alderton, and had short, blond hair. She bounced towards the stool, her puppy-fat jiggling as she did. She say on it, and the Sorting Hat was placed on her head, too.

Gertrude Bode surprised me, lasting almost 5 minutes. Alas, the Hat declared 'Slytherin!" And Gertrude Bode began to cry. With the help of a few professors, she calmed down and took her seat with the rest of the Slytherins.

The night went on. Moonbug Calamity, Taurus Cooper and Livius Hood became Hufflepuffs, Valentine Crocker and Plaskett Dream were sorted into Gryffindor, Demelza Desford, Nina Garcia and Blair Hereward became Slytherins and Jubilee Dream became the second Ravenclaw sorted.

Before he read out the next name, Professor Longbottom tensed up and stared at the first years in horror. He turned back to the scroll to read out the name.

"Malfoy, Scorpius."

A boy with platinum-blond hair walked up to the stool and sat down. Professor Longbottom placed the hat on him with caution. We sat for a very long time, staring at the boy, praying the sorting hat would make the right choice.

"Hufflepuff!" Shouted the sorting hat. The look on Scorpius Malfoy's face was priceless. He shuffled towards the Hufflepuff table, but before sitting down, he stared at the Slytherin table with longing. Moonbug, Taurus and Livius tried to cheer him up.

However, Scorpius Malfoy's moment of fame was brief, as Professer Longbottom had just announced, "Potter, Albus!"

Almost everyone in the Great Hall applauded as the boy sat down on the stool. The hat was placed upon his head, and very soon, it called out "Gryffindor!". His brother, James, jumped out of his seat to congratulate him when he got to our table; he had even saved Albus a seat.

We were all to excited to notice that Porpentina Pratt was sorted into Gryffindor, too. By the time she took a seat next to Albus, the excitement had died out.

Rain tapped on my shoulder again. "Next should be Hellfire's brother." I nodded and looked at the stage.

A skinny yet tall boy, with pastel rose hair, walked towards the stool as Professor Longbottom announced "Serenity, January." The hat was put on his head, and it was there for a good 5 minutes. January Serenity was this year's first hatstall.

But at last, the hat spat out an audible "Slytherin!" As little January smirked. A weak "no!" was heard from the other side of the great hall, but I recognised the voice: it was Hellfire.

Five other students were sorted: Dahlia Summerbee, Loius, Rose and Roxanne Weasley and Rufus Whataley, and then the feast began. After Headmaster Slughorn's speech, I sneaked out of the hall and into one of the vast hallways- Hellfire and I would usually meet up here if we wanted to talk. And sure enough, she was there.

"TwinkleMoon!" She called out to me when she saw my silhouette, "TwinkleMoon, this is horrible!"

We sat down with our backs leaning on the wall. "Spill it out, Hellfire, why's your little brother being on Slytherin such a bad thing?

She opened her mouth, as if she were about to say something, but closed it again. Finally, she answered "I don't know..."

"Exactly."

"But he's not Hufflepuff!"

"You were hoping he would be in the same house as you?"

She nodded.

"There seems to be a mixup with the houses this year, Hellfire, but I'm sure he'll do just fine in Slytherin."

I hadn't realised this before, but Hellfire was crying. She sniffled, and rubbed her eyes. "Maybe you're right..." She still didn't sound convinced.

"It's gonna be okay. I'm gonna go up to Gryffindor Tower, okay? I want to be the first to choose a bed. You should probably do the same thing."

She stood up silently and walked in the other direction. "Bye!" I shouted as she disappeared into the darkness. I, too, had a pleasant walk to the Tower.

"Hmm, you're here early." The Fat Lady said as she saw me approaching.

"I sneaked out so I could choose my bed before the others came up."

"Fair enough. Password?"

"Misisti Verrucas." I answered. The portrait swung open, and I crawled into the Common Room. I climbed up the stairs that led to the girl's dormitories, and picked up my belongings from the massive pile of suitcases and other things of that purpose.

I found a nice bed in the designated room for 5th years, and arranged my stuff around it. I sat on my bed, took out my book- Griffins of Western Europe- and began to read it.

As I did so, the dormitories started to fill up. I could tell, due to the huge ruckus everyone was making as they entered. Most of them were cheering of Albus, others were just chattering in a very loud manner. When things quieted down, and everyone had chosen their bed for the rest of the year, I went to sleep.