Selfish
Madoka x Homura
I do not own Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
Summary: All Madoka can think about is how selfish she is.
Now immortal, Madoka had plenty of time on her hands. She no longer existed within the flow of time and was merely a concept. On Earth, Madoka watched her loved one fight wraiths. It would only be one hundred years before they met again.
One hundred years of waiting for Homura.
Most of this time was spent carelessly; hanging out with Sayaka like old times (but it really, really wasn't like old times,) making new friends like old times (but it really, really, really wasn't like old times,) discovering new thing like in the old times (but it wasn't like old times and she couldn't move on.) Everything was a reminder of the life she forsook, the one where she was normal and happy. Now, Madoka should be happy. Soon (soon we'll see one another again, Homura!) she would be reunited with her love, and they would live together for eternity. She had saved everyone (you don't have to despair anymore) and she was with her best friend in Valhalla. This was a place of hope and not despair.
Still, Madoka couldn't help but feel unhappy. She realized why when talking to Tart, of Jeanne D' Arc.
Their conversation had started off as usual. Madoka preferred the company of the ever-cheerful girl more than the company of, say, Yuri.
"Goddess." Tart had bowed, pausing her duel with a bemused Sayaka Miki, who had crashed into Tart, her swords drawn and ready to strike. Madoka had to giggle at the ungainly heap the two made at her feet.
"Tart!" Madoka had smiled sweetly as the three sat on the ground together. Tart shared her smile, and Sayaka had sighed.
"You two are sooo similar." The three had shared a laugh at that, and Sayaka stood. "Well, see you. I need to find someone to duel with."
"Maybe try Suzune?" suggested Madoka, the silver-haired puella magi coming to mind. "I think she uses swords. Of course, she has firepower as well."
"Nah. Suzune is with Matsuri all the time, and I bet she wouldn't say yes anyway. You really should get to know others more, Madoka." The pink haired girl blushed at the comment. She really should integrate with other magical girls. She desperately wracked her memory for another sword-wielding puella magi when Sayaka grinned.
"I'll ask Zenobia, Madoka. Bye Tart! Bye Madoka!" The blue haired girl walked off, swords in hand, shooting a friendly smile over her shoulder.
"Well, what do you want to do, goddess?" Madoka smiled sadly.
"I've told you not to call me goddess, Tart." The blonde girl nodded uncomfortably, obviously not used to this idea, and Madoka fell silent.
"Why don't I introduce you to some of the puella magi?" asked Tart, obviously unsure of what to do. Grateful for something to do, Madoka enthusiastically nodded.
In any other setting, the two might look weird. Tart wore her pink and white armor, and Madoka wore her original magical girl outfit with puffy sleeves and plenty of lace. However, here, they looked downright normal.
"That's Kirika Kure." Tart pointed out a sullen brunette girl with an eyepatch.
"I know her. We met one another in a timeline."
"Oh. I think she's waiting for her loved one, Oriko." There were unspoken words in the air- Just like you with Homura- but Tart kindly did not point this out. "There's Haruka Kanade. Her wish was made in a fleeting moment, so don't bring it up with her."
"Okay." Madoka made a mental note. She understood about regretted wishes.
"That's Kagari Hinata. She hates Suzune, and her sister is Matsuri Hinata. Kagari is vengeful and cruel, the opposite of her sister." Tart gestures to the girl in question, who was currently out of magical girl costume and in a simple red and white robe. In Madoka's eyes, she seemed innocent, but you never know…
"That's Fleche, one of the magical girls under contract with her." For the first time since they met, Tart's voice took on a spiteful tone, and Madoka quickly tried to think of a way to make her happier.
"Hey, Tart, what was your wish?" The girl stopped dead in her tracks, causing Madoka to crash into her.
"My wish was to have thepower to bring light to France." Tart smiled in a melancholy way. "My wish came true, and I would not change it for the world."
"That's…" Madoka was speechless. Her friend had made such a brave, selfless wish to save everyone, without a thought for herself. Slowly, Madoka began to cry.
"Ah! Goddess, are you alright?" Tart grabbed the girl, and at that moment, for Madoka, Tart was truly a hero. A hero… something that she was not.
"I'm okay, Tart." Madoka lifted her face to Tart's worried one. Sighing, she wiped Tart's memory of the incident.
"Her." Once again, Tart looked spiteful and annoyed.
"What are some wishes of other people?" The words slipped out of Madoka's wish, though she instantly regretted them. She was trying to not think about her wish, damn it!
"Okay. Um, Riz, my friend wished to find a hero. And Melissa wished to save me after- Goddess! Are you okay?" Madoka had stood up, hiding her face from view.
"I'm okay, Tart. I just need a moment to myself." Then the pinkette ran off while Tart shrugged and went to find Riz, or possibly to find Sayaka and continue their sparring match.
'Am I really a hero?'
Now by herself, Madoka lay down on the ground. If only…
If only she could go back and change her wish.
If only she could stay with Homura.
If only she had changed one word she would be on Earth with Homura, Sayaka, Kyoko, and Mami.
If only…
"Homura." The goddess stood on land again, a mere figment, barely able to possess this physical form, but there. The mentioned brunette girl turned to see the new girl in her class. Only now, this girl was shining with a pink light.
"Madoka?" Homura reached out a hand to touch the girl, who was quickly becoming less and less substantial. The girl was almost the opposite of her love: her name was Aoi, and she had short brown hair in a bowl cut, skinny jeans, and a crop top. Yet Homura could sense Madoka inside, and in a quick movement, they embraced.
"I can't stay long, but I wanted to hear your voice again. Homura…"
"Madoka!" cried Homura as her fingers raked through the now transparent girl.
"I can't possess her much longer, or she'll disappear. Homura, soon we'll see each other again. That's all I want."
"Me too!" cried the brunette, tears rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto the other girl's Nike's. "Please, please don't go!"
"Don't worry, Homura. If you keep fighting, I know we'll meet again. I just have one question…" The girl was only a wisp of smoke now, and Homura persistently kept hugging empty air. "Do you think my wish was selfish?" Then Madoka disappeared from the girl, and there was only a very confused Aoi.
"No," whispered Homura. "Never."
Madoka felt better than she had in a while. She had seen Homura- not just seen her, in fact, but talked to her! That day (was it really a day? when you're immortal there's no sense of time, not really) she had talked to some other magical girls like Fleche and Lame. She suspected that Sayaka would soon be dueling the French girl whose name meant sword- Tart was usually busy, Suzune was rather standoffish, Sayaka and Kirika hated each other, and Zenobia, though friendly with Sayaka, was a bit too powerful for the other girl and used another type of sword. Of course, there were other swords-wielding puella magi- Apiyo, for instance, used any weapon that came her way, and Faye was also a novice with a sword. However, Sayaka already knew Tart, who in turn knew Lame. Madoka thought the two would be a good match.
That day, Oriko ran out of magic, and Madoka brought her up. There was a troubled expression on her face, and Madoka asked her what was wrong.
"Nothing," the girl quickly replied, smiling in the same way Homura had when lying.
Madoka really hated people keeping things from her.
"Okay," she replied, leaving to meet up with Sayaka. If it hadn't been for Sayaka, Madoka would have gone crazy. They were both waiting for someone and were utterly alone. Perhaps Sayaka was more lonely. After all, Madoka had everyone's hope to be with her forever.
"Oriko can see the future, right?" Madoka had just told her friend about the incident with Oriko. "Maybe she saw something unsavory in your future." Madoka hummed in reply and stared off into the distance before realizing something.
There were a few things Oriko could have seen. Maybe Madoka's rule would come to an end, or the Incubators would attack. However, the blonde girl would surely have told her about these things. There was only one prophecy Oriko could tell…
The girl took off, disregarding Sayaka's yelp of surprise. Oriko would probably be with Kirika Kure or Yuma Chitose, so she should look there first.
To Madoka's surprise, Oriko had gone off a few moments before the goddess herself came. The pinkette rushed off in the other direction, asking everyone she met if they had seen Oriko. Everyone said that the blonde girl had just passed. After a while, Madoka slumped down for a while, the wet ground staining her white dress. Grass stains covered her hands, and she almost broke down laughing or crying, it didn't matter which.
Of course. Oriko knew exactly what Madoka was going to do, and could stop her actions from succeeding. It just wasn't fair. Evan after making her wish, she couldn't protect the one she loved.
For it was certain now. Oriko had predicted something about Homura and didn't want Madoka to know lest she turn into a witch. Sadly, the pinkette looked down on Earth to Homura.
The brunette was fighting wraiths. That was normal, as Homura did all she could to serve her goddess. However, there seemed to be a tired lagging in Homura's steps, and at every moment Madoka feared that her lover would be killed.
"Goddess." Madoka heard Oriko behind her. "Calm yourself." The pinkette turned around, eyes flashing wildly and arms pathetically waving.
"How can you say that!" she cried. "Homura is dying down there, and you didn't warn me."
"What could you have done?" returned the other girl. "You couldn't have saved her without dooming the universe."
"Maybe I wanted to do that!" Madoka's yell resounded through Valhalla, and several puella magi rushed over.
"Then you are as foolish as Homura Akemi. You could even say it was your wish that led her here." Oriko's eyes were cold and unfeeling, and Madoka wondered if she had ever cared for anyone in her life. Down below, a wraith was clutching Homura.
"I…" began Madoka, but at the same moment, Homura's head rolled on the ground. Her soul gem grew more corrupted as she regenerated, but another wraith took advantage of her temporary distraction to-
Tears rolled down Madoka's cheeks and onto the ground. There was no way… just no way…
They had to meet each other again. They had to.
Valhalla began to crack. Spiderweb designs lined the sky, and the ground split open. Sayaka ran up, trying to get Madoka back to her senses, but it was too late.
'If I hadn't been so selfish, so set on playing the hero, maybe…' A sense of despair flooded the world. 'Homura and I would be together!'
Thus, for the love of a single girl, a witch was born. The cycle of despair began anew, and the witch grinned. Kriemhild Gretchen was born, the witch who loves while destroying the world's hope. This is her 'punishment' and 'salvation.'
Nothing good can come of a world like this