"I Think We Should Call It"
This story takes place after CeCe's wedding, except Jess and Nick never "uncalled" it. Winston passed out in the ventilation system, and never talked Nick into going after Jess. Nick instead went with Winston to the hospital, and Jess went home alone.
Disclaimer: I own nothing...seriously, try to sue me, see what happens. I promise you will never get back the time or money you wasted in a pointless attempt to take me for everything that I have, which again is nothing.
It had been a little over a month since CeCe's almost wedding and Nick and Jess were still not speaking to one another. Nick wasn't even sure if it was on purpose anymore or if it was just a habit for the two of them to avoid each other now. Nick wasn't even sure of Jess' schedule anymore, all he could do was pick up as many shifts as he could at the bar to help in their unspoken agreement of avoidance. When he was at the loft, he spent as little time as possible in the common areas as he could. Nick assumed Jess was doing the same, because he rarely saw her, and when he did they both pretended to be on their way to doing something else to quickly escape each other's presence. Nick knew that his and Jess' relationship (or lack there of) was taking a toll on Winston and Schmidt. He barely saw either of them anymore since he spent so much time avoiding the loft in general. Nick could feel the rift slowly settling in, and he didn't know how to fix it. He felt like they all blamed him for what was happening, and he privately agreed.
Nick had just finished a double shift at the bar and was beat. He slowly trudged off of the elevator and made his way to the door of 4D. It was the sound of her crying that made him stop as he was reaching for the doorknob. Winston's voice came next, but it was soft and soothing and Nick had to push his ear to the door to make out what he was saying.
"Don't cry, Jess, we will figure this out, together." Winston said reassuringly.
"What's there to figure out Winston? I of course am not the biggest fan of living with a new stranger, but I support Jess' decision. I don't know about you guys, but I am seriously exhausted from swimming through the tension in this loft, it's thicker than jello in here." Schmidt was slightly easier to hear, but Nick still pressed his ear hard against the door, not quite comprehending the conversation that was being had amongst his roommates.
"So you think this will fix everything Schmidt?" Winston asked a little bit louder now. Nick couldn't tell if he had gotten closer or if he had raised his voice, but he guessed by his tone that it was the latter.
"Maybe not at first, but this will at least force Nick to stop avoiding the issue. When he's confronted with this, he won't have a choice but to deal with it." Schmidt was being more serious than Nick had heard him be in a long time, or maybe it had just been a long time since Nick had really talked to Schmidt...Nick wasn't sure.
"Listen, this isn't either of your guys' problem." Nick heard Jess' shaky voice pipe up. "I appreciate both of your support, but I'll deal with Nick. I just hope he understands," her voice trailed off softly.
"He will Jess," Winston comforted her, "I've known Nick my whole life, and even though he's been acting like a complete ass lately, I know he'll be the person he's capable of being here. And in the off chance that he doesn't understand, screw him, he doesn't deserve you anyway. I for one look forward to meeting our new roommate." Winston's voice sounded muffled, and Nick guessed that he had been hugging Jess.
Nick backed away from the door slowly, and as quietly as his heavy feet would allow. He took the stairs to avoid having to wait for the elevator, but instead of the lobby Nick found himself on the roof. As Nick settled into a lawn chair with several broken straps he struggled to comprehend everything he had just heard. His mind reached and grasped at different turns and angles, but everything he had just heard led him back to the same conclusion. His roommates were going to ask him to move out. Had he really made life that difficult lately that it had come to this? Nick hadn't cried since his father's funeral, and as he felt his chest constrict he was reminded of Jess standing next to him in that ridiculous Elvis outfit, holding his hand. Had that really been so long ago, Nick wondered. He leaned back in his chair and looked at the stars as he let his mind try to wrap around his current situation. The more he thought about it he realized that he couldn't really blame them. It was practically like he had already moved out anyway, he was just surprised that his two best friends would find it so easy to replace him. Maybe that's what Schmidt meant by "he won't have a choice but to deal with it", maybe Winston and Schmidt were doing what they thought was best for their crumbling friendships. They were right to kick him out, and even though Nick understood their decision, he could not help but feel betrayed. Winston's words ran through his head on a loop he couldn't stop, "he doesn't deserve you anyway." Despite the truth in them, he resented that it was so obvious to everyone else as well. It was the only reason why Nick had suggested they call it off, why he let her walk out of the hotel that night, and why he had avoided the hell out of her ever since. Nick knew better than anyone that he did not deserve someone like Jess. He knew it in the beginning, but had avoided really dealing with it until her dad had so eloquently shoved it in his face. Nick wanted to be the kind of man that Jess deserved, but he didn't know where to start. So he did what he did best, he ran. He spent the last month running away from her every day. Nick didn't know what to say or do to make things better, but what he did know was that he was not in a position to try and fail; there was just too much at stake. Nick wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, staring at the stars and thinking about Jess. His emotions were mixed, he felt overwhelming surges of anger, fear, sadness, and shame bounce through his chest, and his thumbs absentmindedly rubbed against his fingers in an attempt to calm himself down.
Nick finally returned to the apartment, he waited at the door for several minutes trying to hear any voices, but the loft was quiet. He tiptoed through the door, and closed it as quietly as he could before sneaking to his room. He didn't sleep. Instead he composed three letters, one for each of his roommates. In the morning he waited for them to all leave, listening carefully for the sound of the door closing a third and final time as the last remaining roommate (he thought it was maybe Winston) left the loft. He then poked his head out of his room, calling to be sure, "hey guys?" Nick yelled. There was no response. He quickly jumped into the shower, the water spraying him back to life and revitalizing his will to follow through with his plan. He dried quickly and threw on some jeans and a black t-shirt. In the next hour Nick managed to race through his room, packing as much as he could into two travel bags and a backpack. Looking around his room one last time Nick swallowed and closed his eyes as he thought about what he was about to do. He walked to the kitchen, his bags slung over his shoulders, and left the three letters sitting on the island. As Nick looked around his apartment one last time he remembered the last time he had thought he was moving out, and about how he had come back. At the time he hadn't really accepted it, but he knew now that he had come back for her. She was after all the kind of girl a guy would come back for. His face scrunched into a frown and his heart ached, knowing that this time he could not come back. It would take everything that he had to stay away, but he knew that this was for the best. Winston's voice rang through his head again, "he doesn't deserve you anyway." Nick walked out of his apartment for the last time, and when he got outside he saw the cab that he had set up online was already waiting for him. He climbed in, refusing to look back, and closed his eyes. It felt like only minutes later that he was opening them again when he heard the cab driver yell back at him, "hey man, we're here." Nick looked around quickly realizing that he was right, they were at the departures drop off at LAX. Nick paid the cab driver quickly and climbed out, bags again slung over his shoulders. He again refused to look back as headed into the airport.
Schmidt was the first to come home that day, it was Friday and while he usually ended up staying late on Friday's trying to finish everything that he had left until the last minute, this week was different, this Friday he had a date. He had made the date earlier in the week with CeCe, and he was nervous since it was the first time he would be out with her alone since telling both her and Elizabeth that he needed time to be by himself. It was the most adult decision he had made in his whole life, and he had congratulated himself by partying like a freaking rockstar every weekend since. He had burned out quickly though, realizing that he was no longer twenty-two. It hadn't taken him long to come to the conclusion that he wanted to be in a grown-up relationship, and that the person he wanted to be with was the same person he wanted to be with two years ago, CeCe.
He walked into the apartment, heading straight for the fridge to grab an apple. He quickly washed it underneath the sink and turned towards the island to begin slicing it; how most people tolerated just biting into an apple, eating it until they hit the core, Schmidt would never understand. Thats when he noticed the three envelopes sprawled across the counter. "Hey! Who left their mail in the kitchen?!" Schmidt called out through the loft, realizing that one of his roommates must have beat him home. "What's the point in having designated mail cubbies if we're just going to leave our correspondence lying around like its a freakin' jail cell?!" Schmidt yelled again through the loft, his head peeking down the hallway to see if any of his roommates would come out of their rooms and claim accountability for their lack of civility. No one responded, so Schmidt, muttering underneath his breath, reached for the envelopes. That's when he realized that it wasn't mail. He saw Nick's untidy scrawl across each envelope, and found the one with his name on it. Schmidt's face turned to a scowl; something was wrong. In the entire ten years that Schmidt had lived with Nick, he could not once ever remember Nick leaving him a note...note even a sticky note. Schmidt's face fell from a scowl to a full on frown as he read through Nick's short letter:
Schmidt,
Sorry buddy, but you know I couldn't stay forever. Don't worry, I'll be okay. I'm gonna go take care of my Ma for awhile, she hasn't been doing so great since Walt's been gone. I'm serious man, don't worry about me, I'll be fine...seriously, stop worrying!
See ya later man,
Nick
Schmidt was re-reading the letter for a third time when Jess and Winston walked through the door together, laughing about something that had happened to Jess earlier in the day. Schmidt did not look up.
"What's wrong Schmidt?" Jess asked, immediately noticing the frustrated look on his face as he stared intently at the piece of paper in front of him.
Schmidt looked up slowly from his letter, there was no other way of saying it, "Nick's gone, you guys."
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