AN: This is my first fanfic, so please review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: i don't own Alex Rider

Chapter 1

The rain was pouring it down as Alex trudged back to K-Units hut, completely soaked to the bone and paying no attention to what was going on around him. The ground was soft and slippery and the way the wind was howling reflected Alex mood.

"You alright there Cub?" Alex jumped slightly as a hand landed on his shoulder startling him out of his thoughts. 'Idiot, you can't let that happen again.' he thought.

"Yeah fine" Cub muttered, "Its not like everyone and their mother is going to know every aspect of my life now is it." Wolf decided it was best not to comment on the obvious sarcasm in Cubs statement and thought that it was best just to shepherd him into the hut before anything else was said. Cub headed straight for his bunk, flopped down and put his head in his hands, not caring about the rest of his unit watching on worriedly from there own beds.

"Come on Cub, it can't be that bad. I mean its your class and some soldiers reading about your missions. Its not like you have to save the world again." Eagle tried to rationalise. Cub Jumped up and started pacing between the five bunks.

"You don't understand. This. Is. My. Life. I don't want people knowing what I think, what I feel… I… I don't.. I don't want people knowing what I have done." Cub collapsed onto his bed, voice trailing out at the end. Snake exchanged looks with Wolf and Fox as he approached Cub.

"Cub.. Its going to be ok yeah. You haven't done anything wrong." Snake said, sitting down and wrapping his arm round cubs shoulders whilst glancing at Fox.

"… You don't understand. I killed people.. I..I.." Cub whispered.

"NO. No Cub. You did what you had to do, you hear me." Fox said forcefully, crouching down in front of him and placing his hands on his shoulders. "You killed, yes, but it was in self defence, yeah. There was nothing else you could do and everyone will see that."

"Yeah Cub, listen to Fox," Eagle joined in, being serious for short time, "We have been in your position, kill or be killed and there is nothing else you can do when that happens." Cub lifted his head, looking at them all briefly and then stared back down at his hands in his lap which he seemed to find extremely interesting.

"I guess.." He muttered. His unit looked at each other over his head, communicating silently about what to do. Wolf got up and sat himself down next to Cub who was now surrounded by his unit.

"Cub listen," Cub didn't respond so Wolf put his hand under Cubs chin, making him look up. "Reading the books are going to be horrid. Its going to be uncomfortable and I know you don't like it but its going to happen so you have to deal with it. I'm here for you. So is Fox and Snake. Even Eagle is here for you in his own special way." Cub smiled as Eagle let out an annoyed and indigent Hey. "See you have us there and no matter what you have do and what we read we will alway be there."

Cub relaxed and the others looked at each other, relieved that there little brother understood that he wasn't alone and had their support. Heck, he was basically the little brother of the whole camp. When he came here again two years ago no one understood that he was training to go into the field. He just seemed to be a spoilt brat who was in trouble with his rich parents. No one had liked him and didn't want to put up with him. That all changed when he came back for two weeks six month ago. He didn't have the same spark in him and he didn't have the same childish innocence any more. Snake had seen some bruises on his harms and neck when he first arrived but Cub refused to answer any question so they let it be until the scars were discovered.

*Flashback*

Cub never showered with his unit, slipping in after they had left so that he could have privacy. He never changed in front of them either, always being dressed when they woke up and in bed when they got back to the hut. They just thought that he was shy. It was the beginning of the second week when that opinion changed. K-unit had already left the showers and as usual Cub slipped in after them to shower in privet but what he didn't know was that D-unit and G-unit had had a joint exercise that overran and hadn't showered yet. Cub had stripped off and was in the shower with his back to the door when it opened and the two units trooped in just to freeze when they saw Cubs back.

"What the hell." Jaguar muttered, staring at Cubs back. No one else responded, they just stood there with there jaws practically on the floor. Everyone knew what the scars meant. Leopard moved forward, being the medic of D-unit he wanted to help but didn't what to scare Cub. Everyone knew that Cub didn't shower at the same time as anyone else. K-unit teased him about it in the mess, trying to embarrass him in front of everyone.

"Cub" Leopard called gently. Cub span around and tensed when he saw everyone staring. He backed himself into the corner scanning the units faces as well as searching for his clothes, forgetting about the bullet scar on his chest. Gasps and hisses echoed about the now silent room. "Cub, its ok, no one is going to hurt you." Leopard said in a calm tone, the same tone that you would use when talking to a frightened animal. Cub ignored what he said and just stood there frozen, ignoring the shampoo in his hair and water dripping down his face.

"Yeah Cub, its ok" Bull said, throwing a towel to Cub to cover himself up. As he covered himself up Bull motioned everyone else out to try and make it easer on Cub. After they left, Bull grabbed Cubs clothes and gave them to him and turned around so he could change.

"Its ok i'm changed," Cub said in a quiet voice. Bull turned and saw that he was still in the corner.

"Cub its ok. We just want to help. Come on lets go back to your hut. I know you wont want to but you have to tell you unit about the scars. I know they don't know." Bull tried to coax Cub out. Cub just sighed and shuffled over staring at the floor. Bull put his hand on Cubs shoulder who flinched and tensed but Bull didn't remove his had. "Come on." Bull muttered.

They passed the rest of D-unit and G-unit, who followed Bull in the direction of K-units hut. They were all concerned about Cub now, wanting to know what happened, and why he has those scars. They were all horrified and shocked by the bullet wound. Who would shoot a child? that was the question going through everyones mind.

Bull knocked on the door to k-units hut, nudging Cub through first when they heard Wolf yell to come in. Confused faces met worried ones as both D-unit and G-unit filed into the hut. Thirteen people in a hut designed for four meant that it was a bit of a squeeze but everyone got settled quickly, Leopard and Bull sitting on either side of Cub on his bed, each member K-unit had someone perched on their beds when everyone was gestured to sit.

"OK whats going on" Wolf questioned, gazing from Cub to Bull and back as they seemed to be the ones who knew most. Cub seemed to find his hands very interesting once he sat down and refused to look up when Bull tried to get him to talk. The silence wore on soldiers looking at each other, not wanting to be the ones explaining the issue.

"…Right, i'll talk." Bull said, bringing everyones attention to himself. "We," he gestured to the units, "Were running late after a joint exercise and had to shower later than usual. We didn't realise Cub was in there until we walked through the door." K-unit looked at each other, intrigued at what they were going to hear. Cub head was still firmly pointing to the floor but a dull red flush could be seen on his cheeks. "Well…" Bull struggled to continue, "It seems that… well you see that Cub has.. he has scars on his back.. and on his chest."

K-unit froze. They stared at Cub in horror, trying to understand what had just been said. Their Cub, their team mate had scars. Snake, ever the medic, pulled himself together and started to ask questions before Wolf could get angry and demand answers.

"Cub," Snake spoke gently, "what happened? Why do you have scars?" Cub didn't move and Leopard could feel him tensing up even more. "Cub, as the medic I need to know whats happened, I will need to see your scars." Cubs face shot up.

"No. No. I don't want anyone else to see." Cub said panicked.

"Im sorry Cub but I really need to know, I need to know if anything happens so I can help." Snake said calmly, making his way to kneel in front of Cub who just stared at him, a horrified look on his usually emotionless face. Cub tried not to hyperventilate, struggling to take deep breaths but not being able to. "Cub, Cub. you need to calm down" snake said realising what was happening. Taking Cubs hand and putting it on his own chest he said, "Cub you feel that, do you feel my breathing," receiving a nod he continued, "Breath at the same time as me ok. Thats it… breath in… and out… breath in… and out. Yeah like that Cub well done ok?"

Cub could feel himself calm down as he followed Snakes instructions and having something to focus on. "Yeah ok." Was Cubs only response. The hut was silent for a minute as Cub collected himself again.

"Ok Cub, we really need to see you scars and know what caused them. I'm sorry Cub, I really am." Snake explained when he was sure that Cub wasn't going to panic again.

"I get it. I do" Cub said in a small voice, "I just don't know what i can say."

"Say what you want Cub," came a response from the door. Everyone jumped, not realising that someone had entered when they were focused on Cub. It was the sergeant "You can tell them anything you want, but you have to explain your injuries. That it all that matters at the moment." He stated. Cub looked at him, then at everyone else. He seemed to be searching for something so no one rushed him.

"Ok" was the only response he gave. He stood slowly and removed his shirt so everyone could see his scars and started to explain them. Not the missions, much to the solderers disappointment. Just the scars.

*End Flashback*

The soldiers had an enormous amount of respect for Cub after that and the next day all the units on base had heard about what happened and about what Cub had been through. Since then there was no bullying, only bit of friendly teasing which Cub accepted and eventually enjoyed.