Warnings; Crude teenage boys, language, some vague slash
Characters; James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew
Shows; Harry Potter
Disclaimer; I can safety say I don't own Harry Potter (Even if I wish really, really hard)
Plot; The Marauders count up there tally charts stuck on the wall...
A/N : I began to not know where I was going with this so decided that it'd be a one shot and end like it does! Let me off it was wrote at like midnight on a IPad!
The dormitory was oddly quiet. James Potter slouched on his bed reading Quidditch Weekly, oogling at the latest broomstick to come out.
Peter Pettigrew sat reading through his transfiguration notebook, a frown chiselled onto his forehead from confusion.
Remus Lupin was reading, his favourite pass time. He was currently rereading his muggle fairy tales. Little Red Riding Hood, scoffing occasionally at the wolf.
And Sirius Black, was no where to be seen. Which was probably why it was so quiet until of course the three marauders heard thuds towards there bedroom, the three boys put down their reading material and looked towards the door awaiting the arrival of Mister Black.
The door flung open and a careless looking Sirius appeared in the door frame,
"NUMBER TEN I GOT NUMBER TEN" he exclaimed loudly and excitedly. Remus rolled his eyes going back to book as Peter looked upon intrigued and James rolled his magazine to use it as a trumpet.
"Who?"
"Ravenclaw" Sirius exclaimed "Amy, Annie - something like that" he said as he shut the door
"You don't even know her name" Remus said, still flicking through his book not wanting to look at Sirius, he could already smell the sex on him. Sirius scoffed slightly and turned to the door murmuring a spell making a chart appear on the door. On the chart was four columns, one for each of them.
They'd decided (after Sirius had accidentally used a permanent sticking charm) that they'd use their nicknames.
Which was why Sirius was putting a little dash across the four sticks under the name of Padfoot.
"Losing are we" Sirius directed to James who'd knelt on his bed reading the chart, he had the most, last time he'd checked.
"I've done it more times than you" James stated whilst still reading the chart, confused on how he was losing.
"With Evans" Sirius stated.
"Is one girl not enough" Remus inputted quietly then chanced a glance up seeing Sirius look at him with a look of amazement,
"One, one how could you just have one, they get so boring after you do the whole sex thing they become clingy and begin calling you their boyfriend and all that shit then they cry, god all the crying" Sirius exclaimed as Remus looked at him, his mouth slightly gaped, his best friend was a idiot.
"Lily's not like that though" Forever Rose tinted James said,
"Was she not sobbing on your shoulder yesterday" Peter said looking at James who waved it off with his hand.
"She's a good shag though - makes me work for it every time" he said nodding suggestively "and she always wears these lacey knickers with a little bow on the front - when she's got them on I know she wants it" he said putting his tongue in his cheek.
Remus shook his head, he gave James a little more credit this year he'd focused solely on Lily, subsiding pervious years where he'd shagged pretty much anything that moved but still admitted his undying love to her.
Sirius however was yet to have any kind of 'serious' relationship. Remus had, had one or two, two pretty, smart Hufflepuff girls they only lasted a month or two but they got pretty serious. Remus just believed with his furry little problem, he couldn't maintain a relationship.
Peter had also had a relationship or two. But didn't brag quite so much as James and Sirius about the matter.
"So that's me in the lead with ten! James' attempt with eight, Peter coming third with three and Remmy sorry attempt with none" Sirius announced then looked sideways at Remus, who'd avoided his gaze.
It wasn't that he'd never had the chance, it was that he didn't want to do it. He hated his scars, he hated what people thought of his body, but that wasn't even the sole reason. The upmost reason why he'd gone seven years without a single shag was simply because the one simple shag he wanted was off with ten other girls!
"No one Moony, really" James said with what was that a sincere tone? Remus must've misheard. Remus shrugged lightly
"Just haven't got around to it" he grumbled back then stood and pushed pass Sirius leaving the dormitory and heading towards the library. The three remaining marauders exchanged a look, Sirius' laced with confusion, James' with concern and Peter's with worry.
"What's got him" Sirius said scoffing lightly signalling with his hand in the direction Remus had gone. James and Peter exchanged a mutual look of exhaustion, how long was it going to take until Sirius Black got a idea. "What?" Sirius said confused as James sighed and stood walking around his bed and towards Sirius, he rested a hand on Sirius shoulder and began to explain slowly and thoroughly.
Sirius ran to the library leaving a trail of destruction and mayhem in his wake. He crashed in seeing a disapproving stare from the librarian then began the search for Remus, finding him in the Magical Creatures section. He had piles of books like a fort built up around him. And was sat reading one in the centre,
"MOONY" Sirius howled and gained several glares from various occupies, Remus' head shot up then scowled lightly shushing Sirius with his forefinger then going back to his book.
Sirius sighed then transformed into the big black shaggy dog running into the piles of books and knocking them all down until Remus was in a sea of books.
"Sirius you idiot" Remus hissed trying to disguise the laugh in his voice, Padfoot looked up at Remus with big puppy eyes whining lightly until Remus lightly tapped his nose. "What do you want?" He queried as Padfoot's whining stopped, then he pushed his paws onto Remus' chest and began licking Remus' face.
Remus spluttered pushing the shaggy dog back and wiping his face whilst Sirius transformed back. Sirius grinned at Remus then waited for him to lower his hands. He waited a second then leant forward connecting their lips.
"Why'd you never tell me, you where waiting for me to shag" he said, Remus blushed slightly and put his head down
"Because I didn't want to be another of your one night stands"
"You'd never be, Moony, I couldn't do that to you" Sirius said running his finger down Remus' thin cheek bones, "You'd never be a one night stand"
The next day, Remus wandered towards the dormitory door, murmured a spell then out a dash under his name, grinning stupidly at it then added a eleventh to Sirius'.