THE DENVER PARK OF MADNESS

BY SHADOWGATE

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This is totally random.

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Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman all got tickets to the new fun park in Denver that just opened.

Randy drove them to the park in Denver and he told them to always stay together for safety purposes.

Stan said "let's go on the death race clockwork coaster first" and Kyle agreed to Cartman started bitching he wanted to eat lunch.

Kenny said "we can get free lunches because our tickets say we're entitled to them because we fucking won them. We can eat anytime."

Cartman said "well my mom gave me extra money for food."

Kyle said "oh no shock there tubby."

Cartman yelled "HEY KYLE REMEMBER WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE UPS MAN WAS FUCKING YOUR MOM BUT IKE WAS WRONG AND IT WAS REALLY YOUR DAD IN A FUCKING UPS OUTFIT?"

Kyle said "Goddamn it Cartman why the fuck are you bringing this up?"

Cartman answered "Kyle do you remember when your mouth was surgically sewn to that Jap's asshole."

Kyle said "Jap is a racist term you fucking Nazi and I got a present for you."

Cartman said "a present for me?"

Kyle said "here it is."

Kyle punches Cartman in the face.

Before Cartman could do anything Kenny and Stan jumped in to block them from fighting and then Kenny said "let's go look at the jugglers."

They enter a big tented area with a stage. Little did they know the great talent performers would be juggling machetes!

The announcer yelled through a microphone "THE AMAZING MACHETE JUGGLERS!"

After two minutes of juggling two of the machetes collided and one flew into the audience decapitating Kenny.

Stan yelled "Oh My God They Killed Kenny!"

Kyle called the jugglers "bastards" and after the performance was over the three boys were stunned and didn't know what to do.

Stan said "what the fuck am I going to tell my dad now that Kenny's dead?"

Kyle said "well my dad's a lawyer maybe he can work with Kenny's parents and file a wrongful death lawsuit."

Cartman said "I'll race you to the tilt awhirl."

Kyle and Stan both gave Cartman dirty looks.

A janitor came out and said "I need to clean up and we'll call an ambulance to have your friend taken to the morgue."

The boys spent five minutes of silence remembering Kenny and then went on to the tilt awhirl.

When they got off Stan said "oh I feel dizzy."

Kyle grabbed Stan and said "stand still and take deep breaths. I don't want you puking on me."

They took time needed for Stan to calm down and as Stan breathed deep and regaining his composure Cartman farted.

Kyle said "thank you for farting in my face you fat fuck."

Cartman says "oh I love to fart in your face Ke-all."

Kyle said "my name is not Ke-all and like I said to you in the hall way at school you're nothing but a fat bitch."

Cartman said "fuck you Kyle."

Kyle said "no fuck you because you're a fat bitch ass motherfucker you fat bitch."

Stan said "you guys please both of you let's not do this shit here."

Cartman farted again.

Kyle said "Goddamn it Cartman" and some old lady yelled "you boys need to quit cussing in this family theme park."

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman just walked away completely ignoring her.

When they got on the "Psycho Loop Coaster" Cartman yelled "KYLE BROFLAVSKI LOVES TO SUCK BIG DICKS" right as they were taking off.

Kyle gets mad and as soon as the rollercoaster takes them up he yells "FUCK YOU ERIC CARTMAN!"

Then everyone goes downward screaming.

After they get off the rollercoaster Stan says "the two of you are just going to kill the fun if you keep fighting. Why don't the two of you knock it off already?"

Cartman said "well Stan I remember you were on your period and you had us all pissed off. We stormed out of the theater."

Stan said "well are you dealing with a sudden bout of extreme depression?"

Cartman replied "no I'm just saying you're a little bitch that's all."

Stan said "that's it now I've lost my cool."

Stan slaps Cartman and then Cartman starts crying.

They take 15 minutes to get Cartman to calm down. Then after that Stan says "now Cartman would you like to apologize to Kyle?"

Kyle is tapping his foot and gives a stern look to Cartman.

Stan says "it's easy Cartman you just have to say" and all of the sudden an angry black woman walks through the park with her cell phone yelling "YOU'RE A STUPID NIGGER!"

SHE THEN GOES ON TO YELL "I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT IN BED WITH YOUR STUPID SORRY BLACK ASS YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER! I BET YO MOMMA WAS A FUCKING CRACKHEAD BITCH!"

Cartman turns to Stan and says "okay Kyle you're a stupid nigger and I can't believe I got in bed with your sorry black ass you dumb motherfucker your momma smokes crack rock and fuck you."

Kyle jumps on Cartman and Stan has to pull him off.

Breaking up the fight wore Stan out big time and Kyle was tired to. Cartman was bleeding and crying.

Stan said "Cartman let me walk you to the bathroom and get you cleaned up."

After Stan walked with Cartman to the bathroom they all decided to eat lunch.

Cartman said "gee Stan isn't it funny how you told me to apologize but then it worked out so that I ended up saying something else?"

Kyle said "oh Cartman you've been nothing but an opportunist all your life and you've been a Goddamn racist all your life."

In the mean time Kenny woke up in his bed like nothing even happened. He pulled his ticket to the amusement park out of his pocket and said "GODDAMN IT!"

He didn't have much luck at amusement parks. He recalled the time Cartman bought his own amusement park and he got killed. He woke up in his bed later and he also recalled the time is dad puked after the John Denver Experience Ride then laughed. But then he went back to being sad again since he was going to miss out on all the fun.

When he walked out into the living room he saw his mom whack his dad over the head with a frying pan.

Carol McCormick yelled "THAT'S FOR BEING A WORTHLESS FUCKING HUSBAND!"

Then Kenny went back to being sad again because he was going to miss out on the all the fun.

In the mean time Cartman was eating lunch with Kyle and Stan. Of course Cartman had three chilly dogs with chips, soda, and ice cream. Stan and Kyle had one chilly dog each with chips, soda, and ice cream.

As they walked to the restroom Stan noticed a place to throw darts and win stuffed animals. Stan said "hey Cartman you want to try to win that stuffed bear? It's fat like you."

Cartman replied "well Stan first I have to fart on Kyle."

Cartman lets off a huge fart and both Stan and Kyle puke.

After Stan and Kyle puked they were both still nauseated and disgusted.

Kyle said "that stunk so bad I fucking threw up. Shit Cartman that is unbelievable."

Stan said "hey Cartman we all know damn well it's your mom that smokes crack."

Kyle yelled "YEAH YOU FAT BITCH!"

Cartman said "fuck you Kyle."

Kyle says "you fat ass bastard. Your mom is a Goddamn whore."

As Stan and Kyle catch their breath Cartman says "today has been so awesome."

Stan and Kyle say in unison "HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU SAY IT'S BEEN AWESOME?"

Stan said "Kenny died and we puked and none of us have had much fun today."

Kyle said "Cartman you're nothing but a backstabbing son of a crack smoking whore. As far as I'm concerned this trip to the new Denver Park is over with."

THE END