Outlaws of Love

by mishajaxon

They say love makes us liars, that the worst thing is to not be able to trust the person you love. After all, to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.

So...this is my new story...the title is Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert.

This chap is in Logan's POV.

There are some quotes from The Mortal Instruments series. I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THEM. :)

Summary : They say love makes us liars, that the worst thing is to not be able to trust the person you love. After all, to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.

'No…Stop, Logan. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.' Kendall disentangled himself from the passionate embrace that he and Logan were in.

'What? Kendall, what are you talking about?' Logan whispered, his voice wavering. 'You're scaring me.'

'I'm sorry, Logan, but I can't pretend anymore. The truth is, I never really liked you. I hated your nerdy ways and how you always acted so smart. I can't fucking stand you anymore, Logan.'

Realization hit Logan like a bus. 'What?' he whispered. This couldn't be really happening, couldn't it? Tears poured down his face as he struggled to breathe. 'Y-you can't do this to me, Kendall.'

Kendall's face hardened. 'Well I just did.' He turned to leave the room.

'Kendall! You can't do this to me,' Logan was sobbing terribly now. 'I- I love you.'

Kendall froze, his hand on the doorknob. He turned slightly to face Logan. 'What?'

Logan nodded frantically, knowing that in his heart it was true. 'Yes, Kendall. I love you, I'll love you till the day I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you till then.'

Kendall opened his mouth to respond, but then stopped, and shook his head. 'Then you'll have wasted your entire fucking life.' And with that, he was gone.

…

Half an hour later, Logan dragged himself outside, walking as if in a daze, as if he were caught in some terrible nightmare.

And, as if to make the nightmare worse, there he was, across the street, walking quickly. Logan stood and watched him, his heart aching for him. Kendall continued walking until he stopped by a tall individual, whose stature seemed familiar, but he was too far away for Logan to recognize. Then, the nightmare reached its climax. Kendall fisted his shirt in the taller guy's shirt, and pulled him down for a bruising kiss. Logan stumbled along in the opposite, not wanting to watch, but unable to take his eyes off of the sight.

Logan curled up in a ball on a bus stop bench. I love you, I'll love you till the day I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you till then. Logan cried helplessly, not caring who was watching him, who was pointing and saying, 'Hey, isn't that Logan from BTR?' No, he didn't care. What he cared about was the guy he loved with all his heart, simply left him without proper explanation.

I loved you , Kendall. You know what? Fuck love.

---

(Seven years later)

'Logan, I-' Kendall started, but then black tendrils of smoke began curling out of his mouth and wrapped around his waist. Logan tried to reach out to him, but the smoke began to pull on Kendall, making drift further and further from Logan.

'Kendall!' Logan shouted, but the black smoke was pulling him under as well.

'Logan!' Kendall yelled, his face scrunched with fear. 'Logan, I lo-'

Before he could finish his sentence, however, the blackness consumed him. Then, as Logan struggled against the thick black ropes around him, there came a soft, sickly, mocking voice, a voice that sounded as if it was grated raw against a rough concrete slab. The voice began singing, and Logan began crying when he heard the song.

Young and full of running,
Tell me where is that taking me,
Just a great figure eight,
Or a tiny infinite…

Logan began crying, the music continuing, before the darkness covered him.

Logan sat bolt upright in his bed, breathing heavily. That was not the first time he'd had that nightmare, and each time it was worse. However, as the remnants of the dream washed away, the music continued.

Love is really nothing, But a dream that keeps waking me, For all of our trying, We sill end up dying, How can it be?

Logan groaned and slapped his alarm clock to shut it up. He still didn't know why he didn't change that song. He ran a hand through his hair and dropped back down onto the bed. Ever since Kendall had left him two years prior, Logan had gone into an emotional depression for about half a year, before, with the help of James, Carlos and his sister, Leila, he got a job and was now the manager of a book publishing company. But Logan never forgot Kendall. He even convinced himself that he hated the man's guts. Logan groaned again, then got up and got dressed for work.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR XD

'Mr. Henderson?'

'Mm?' Logan replied, flipping through a book on his desk that one of his clients had brought in as Camille Roberts, his secretary brought in more paperwork.

'You have a client.'

'New?'

'Yep. A Mrs. Katie Lambert.'

'Ok. Send her in. And give Anna this story to re-read. Thanks.'

Logan shuffled through the new set of papers that Camille had brought in.

'Good morning, Mr. Henderson,' a soft voice came through the doorway.

Logan looked up, standing, and giving the woman an overlook immediately. After all, image is everything. Shoes – check. Not too short and not too long skirt –check. Nice shirt- check. Hair- Logan frowned. Blonde hair? I don't think so, chica. Logan raised her head to examine her face, and at once saw that she was beautiful, but- Logan stumbled backwards, gripping the table till his knuckles turned white. Her eyes. They were like something out of an old memory. They were piercing green, with a hint of amusement and defiance in them, just like-

Kendall.

The girl looked momentarily confused. 'Um, no. Kendall's my brother. I'm Katie.' She stuck her hand out.

Logan's eyes widened when he realized that he'd said 'Kendall' out loud. He shook her hand. 'Good to meet you Katie. Do you remember me?' He certainly hadn't remembered her. Last time he had seen her she was fifteen years, two years younger than her brother.

Katie was muttering to herself. 'Mr. Henderson. Lohan Henderson…no…Logan! Logan! You and my brother were together, right? How are you?' Katie jumped up and ran around the table and gathered Logan in a bear hug.

'I'm fine. Tell me, Katie,' Logan said, unable to resist, 'how is your brother? Is he working?'

To his surprise, Katie's happy mood immediately dropped, and her voice took on a serious tone. 'After you guys broke up, our father died, and Kendall went into a depression so horrible, we even caught him trying to literally cut open his hand. He attempted suicide at least five times, but fortunately, we got to him in time. But mom and I couldn't send him off to a mental facility because he has to take care of Mom. I'm married now, but I don't have a job, so Kendall tried to provide.'

Logan was shocked. 'Really? What does he do?'

Katie nodded. 'He works at the LGBT bar a few blocks down,

'You mean the-'

'Yep. Kendall now works in a gay bar.'

…

Logan stood outside the bar; not knowing what drew him here. He walked inside, and was instantly crushed by a huge crowd of people. He struggled to get out of there, and when he was finally in his own secluded place, bouncing awkwardly on his heels, the lights dimmed, making the place impossibly darker. Logan stuffed his hands in his pocket, and looked around. He watched as the drunken girls and boys around him swayed erotically to the music. A spotlight shone on the stage at the front of the club, and the pop/rock music was replaced by a slower, yet even more sexually appealing song.

Relax don't do it,

When you want to go to it,

Relax don't do it,

When you want to come,

Relax, don't do it…

With that, a man danced out on stage with very tight, very short, short pants. The man had on tall cowboy boots, and there was two black straps crisscrossing his chest. He began to swing on one of the numerous poles there were on the stage. He grinded his pelvis into the hips then crouched, so his ass would be in full view of everyone. Men clamored for a full view in the 'front row'.

Logan was hypnotized by this man's seductive movements. Suddenly, there was a cheer on the other side of the room, and Logan saw with a jolt, that there was another stage, with a female pole dancer, and there were a lot of women clustered around her. Logan rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the guy. The man was strutting down from the stage, giving men quick pecks, or even, if they were lucky, he would dry-hump them and men were sticking money in the straps on his chest.

Logan began moving towards the man as if in a trance. He pushed through to stand in front of the guy. The man turned to him ready to continue his 'dancing', when he froze. He stared Logan straight in the eyes, and Logan saw with a jolt, he had green eyes, very green eyes.

'Logan?' the pole dancer whispered.

The brunette turned and raced through the crowd, bursting out into the open, taking deep breaths of fresh air. He covered his face with his hands as memories of that green-eyed boy came rushing back. Intimate memories, of the boy that held him so tightly and lovingly. It was those same green eyes that haunted Logan every night.

Logan's heart pounded as he couldn't help but remember how sexy he looked. Logan was still a virgin, and he would've anything to get with him, no matter what the cost, if only it meant that Logan got to touch him again, feel him again…kiss him again. And it was at that exact moment that Logan realized that he had to stop lying to himself. He was still absolutely, irrevocably in love with Kendall Knight.

…

When Logan awoke the next morning, his eyes were puffy and red because of lack of sleep, and staying up for almost the entire night, crying. He put on tight pencil jeans, a red jersey, a black jacket and a shades 'cause he didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of him.

He grabbed an apple and drove quickly to work. He walked straight to his office, ignoring the looks his co-workers were giving him. Almost immediately, Camille came running in the office,

'Logan! I mean Mr. Henderson, sorry sir. You have a visitor who wants to see you now.'

Logan sighed. He hated having visitors, who were always either his parents or one of his cousins, maybe sometimes his sister. 'Did they leave a name?'

'No, but they said they have to talk to you urgently.'

'Is it one of my relatives?'

Camille shook her head. Logan sighed again. Who the hell could it be?

'Let them in, then.'

As Camille rushed out, Logan began to organize his desk. He heard the door open and close.

'Logan.'

The mentioned froze. He would recognize that voice anywhere. He looked up and saw the person he had been dreaming so helplessly about for the past seven years.

'K-Kendall?'

This story is only going to be two chaps, so it has one more chapter. I just want to put up the songs I was listening to when I wrote this story, and you'd see that some of them make sense for different parts lol…

Animal (Neon Trees),

Best Thing I Never Had (Beyoncé),

Edge of Desire (John Mayer),

Gives You Hell (All American Rejects),

Halfway Gone (Lifehouse),

If Its Love (Train),

If You're Not The One (Daniel Bedingfield),

Love Like Woe (The Ready Set),

Misery (Maroon 5),

Set Fire To The Rain (Adele),

She Will Be Loved (Maroon 5),

Skyscraper (Demi Lovato),

Someone Like You (Adele),

This Love (Maroon 5),

Tonight Tonight (Hot Chelle Rae),

Unfaithful (Rihanna),

Whataya Want From Me (Adam Lambert)…

PLZ R&R!