I am incredibly bored right now so I will write a "fanfiction"! I put that in quotes because this is, like, a joke… thingy… PARODY! YES that's the word im looking for. Also because I only have 3 fanfictions so far, and one is on an anime that I used to watch, one is on Twilight which I don't like anymore, and one is on the Percy Jackson series which I havent reread since January. All of them are over a year old. So.. Here ya GOOOOOOOO *ah-choo*
Woke up this morning and I got outta bed
Had a big ol cup of coffee to clear my head
Telephone rang and ya wanna chat
Now sit on down and tell me what up with that!
Ooooooooweeeeeeee
What up with that ? what up with that?
The TV was on quietly in the main room of the dorm. Constance was watching SNL with her friend Marina. April came out of the bedroom in her pajamas, which naturally was a belly t-shirt, skimpy thong, and fuzzy bunny slippers, showing more than enough of her pale green skin which I am describing in detail because despite Constance and Marina having seen her countless times before, you readers need to know stuff. "Guys, turn it down! It's 11 at night!" she whispered violently. Her shimmering golden brown hair fell in her face as she said that. "The volume is at 8! That's the lowest we can possibly put it without not being able to hear anything! Constance whispered back. She tucked her short, silky, raven-colored bob back behind her ear, because as Mary-Sues none of them can leave their hair alone. They have hair despite being Irken because I'm cool like that. That's also the reason that Irk has colleges, skimpy bikini bottoms, cable TV, Saturday Night Live, and Earthican names. (futurama references FTW) …Already I'm bored. Can I axe you why? (more futurama references!) BC THIS STOREH AINT GOIN NOWHERE
Welp, somehow all 3 of the bimbo Mary-Sues end up on Earth, wearing different colored variations of the standard Irken invader outfit. With tons of pointless accessories! Like Marina has a necklace with a dolphin on it and a belt that looks like one long fish, (cue the rimshot) (Get it? Marina? MARINE?) and Constance has earrings that are like whats-it-called- stopwatches. April has a big Aries symbol on her boob, which, like the other girls' boobs, is rather large and perfectly sculpted. They all are, for a lack of better words, really really hot, to human or Irken in either human or Irken form. That's why zim and dib fall in love with 'em. But something happened to marina and april cuz I wanna focus the story on Constance. How about.. Marina got arrested for doing the Irken equivalent of becoming a junkie and dealing drugs, and April is a lesbian so therefore went back to Irk to meet other females…? IDK. Anyway, now it's just Constance. She is at Zims house somehow, and now they are battling it out. Constance, with her awesome Mary-Sueness, wins the fight of course. Zim is badly wounded, and she falls in love with him and takes his somehow-6-feet-tall body to her base to heal, which looks exactly like Zim's base except for it is red and not green.
He wakes up. "HUH? IM NOT DEAD?" Of course. He looks up and sees Constance's face and hes all like I thought you hated me and shes all I thought I did too. Then hes all c'mere you and then they make out but shes like NO I cant do this I kinda..sorta…have a boyfriend and hes like kinda..sorta? And shes like sorta..boyfriend…kinda I sorta…have aboyfriend? And then hes all well how bout another accident and then they r gonna kiss but he leaves her on his teams sled and she ends up kissing a pole…. Ok this is going to far. Go back to where she says NO I cant do this . You are my enemy and I cant seduce you like this. Zim-why are you my enemy? Constance- I have to get revenge on you for what you did to me, which is very unclear and changes periodically. *starts fiddling with bracelet that randomly appeared on her now gloveless wrist* And revenge is a dish best served hot! *whips off lingerie that somehow took the place of her invader uniform* Zim is just staring at her naked body, which normally wouldn't be that much of a big deal, except for that somehow Constance now has human anatomy. Incidentally, so does Zim. He gets … excited. She does a little dance for him and then stabs him in the stomach. She;s about to stab him in the heart when he says no matter what you do I will always love you, constance. And because not even ultra super mecha awesome Mary-Sues that win at life can resist cheese, she doesn't kill him.
They grow up living in Zim's base, somehow have 3 smeets even though smeets are made in isolated tubes and not Irken stomachs. Oh, and Dib….?He's 18. Due to awesomeness of zadr mpreg, he had Zim's baby and the process nearly killed him but then Edward Cullen showed up and turned him into a vampire. It was a mere coincidence that he named the hybrid baby Renesmee, and that it grew up super-quickly and had the power to put pictures in peoples minds. Sorry to you movie-only peoples about the Breaking Dawn spoiler. Oh and as a vampire, Bel-OMG DIB… DIB had the power to block elemental attacks with a mental shield. Sorry again for the spoilers.
Back to zim and constance. They had 3 smeets, a teenage girl and 2 young boys. The boys were always building extravagant things. The girl kept trying to prove this to constance but always would fail in doing so. Zim knew they were doing this but didn't really care.
o-o well, um, hope you liked it. xD