Disclaimer: I don't own The Amazing Race, or any of these characters. This is for entertainment purposes only.
In case you don't recognize the lesser-known kids' shows, there are characters here from Harry the Bunny, the Notekins, and VocabuLarry (from BabyFirstTV); Max and Ruby (Nick Jr); and Team Umizoomi (also Nick Jr).
This... is Dallas, Texas. One of the great business centers of the country, and the ninth-largest city in the U.S. It is also the starting point... in a race around the world. Eleven teams of two, all with different relationships and from different backgrounds, are on their way here on the Trinity River to begin this once-in-a-lifetime competition for a prize... of one million dollars.
(teams coming down the river on motorboats, one by one.)
Diego & Baby Jaguar, animal rescuers from Savannah, Georgia...
DIEGO: Hola amigos! I'm Diego.
BABY JAGUAR: Mrow mrow mrow!
DIEGO: Haha! And this is Baby Jaguar. We travel all over the world as animal rescuers!
(clip of Diego & Baby Jaguar returning a baby alligator to its mommy)
We're really good at solving problems that come across our way, and from all our experience at the Rescue Center, I think a race around the world would be a great way for me and Baby Jaguar to get to see so many cool habitats.
BABY JAGUAR: Mrow mrow mrow mroww!
DIEGO: Haha! Si, the million dollars would be great, too! Alicia could use another stapler.
Tico & Benny, travelers from Morovis, Puerto Rico...
TICO: Estamos muy contentos de estar aquí en el Amazing Race. Benny y me encanta pilotar todo tipo de vehículos, por lo que creo que nos da toda una ventaja!
BENNY: Uhh... yeah! And I can't wait to visit all these cool places!
TICO: Jajajaja!
BENNY: Heheh.
Big Trouble & Little Trouble, self-described "troublemakers" from San Francisco, California...
LITTLE TROUBLE: Oh, no, we're not here to make friends. In fact, we think this race would be an excellent place to stir up... some trouble. (looks slyly at Big Trouble)
BIG TROUBLE: Huhuhuhuh! Yeahhh... lots'a trouble! 'Cause we're the TROUBLEMAKERS!
TOGETHER: (singing) Troubledy, troubledy, troubledy, troubledy, troubledy, troubledy, troubledy, troubledy!
(screaming into camera) Double the trouble for you!
Max & Ruby, brother and sister from Valentine, Nebraska...
RUBY: I can't wait for this trip. I'm a Bunny Scout, so I know how to do lots of neat things.
MAX: Ice cream!
RUBY: No, Max, we're going on a plane and visiting amazing places all over the world. It's like a game.
MAX: Ice cream?
RUBY: And if we win, we can buy you some ice cream with the prize money, okay Max?
MAX: Ice cream!
Milli & Geo, brother-sister community heroes from Umi City, California...
GEO: Hey there! I'm Geo, and this is my sister Milli.
MILLI: We're part of Team Umizoomi! We get to help our friends out of trouble using our mighty math powers!
GEO: We've always wanted to take a trip around the world, and our shapes and patterns knowledge could help a lot.
MILLI: Maybe we'll even win. And even if we don't, it's gonna be sooo much fun! :D
GEO: Milli & Geo, it's time for action!
Pirate Pig & Swiper, plunderers from Boynton Beach, Florida...
PIRATE PIG: Arrgh, I hear there be treasurrre at the end of this race. And I like me a friendly race any day! Arr!
SWIPER: Yeah! I can't wait to swi–I mean, WIN, all that money! Then we can have it all to ourselves!
PIRATE PIG: Nay, matey. Surely we be ready to share some of ourrr winnings if we be victorious! Arr! (admires fake sword)
SWIPER: What? Share?
PIRATE PIG: Aye, of course, matey! Hahahaha!
SWIPER: Oh, maaan.
Do & Re, "notekins" from Lowell, Vermont...
DO: The sun's all shining! Good morning, good mooorning!
RE: And we're so smiling! Good morning, GOOD MORNING!
DO: Everyone! Hooray!
RE: Hooray!
TOGETHER: Have a good DAY!
(glass window shatters in background)
Harry & Larry, early-education students from Bakersfield, California...
HARRY: Hi, everybody! Ooh look, a little blue thing. What is it?
LARRY: (squawk) Uh-oh.
HARRY: Hmm... (examines blue booklet) is it a carrot?
LARRY: (squawk) Passport.
HARRY: (nibbles on booklet) Haha, no.
LARRY: (squawk) Passport.
HARRY: Is it a storybook? (tries reading booklet, looks at camera) I don't know. Mommy reads to me.
LARRY: Passport!
HARRY: Is it a candy bar? Hahahahaha! Noooo.
LARRY: (squawk) Uh-oh.
SpongeBob & Patrick, neighbors from Bikini Bottom, Hawaii...
SPONGEBOB: We're going on this race, and we're gonna (inflates self) WIINNN!
PATRICK: Huhuh, yeah! Wait, what race? (both laugh) No really, what race?
SPONGEBOB: (deflates self) Patrick, don't you remember signing the TV release forms? It's the Amazing Race!
PATRICK: ...
SPONGEBOB: The race around the world where the winner gets a million dollars? Hello? Patrick?
PATRICK: ... oh sorry, I was just thinking about my belly button.
(pause, then both laugh hysterically)
Dora & Boots, explorers from Corozal, Puerto Rico...
DORA: Hola! Soy Dora.
BOOTS: And I'm Boots!
DORA: We love adventure. Will you help us win the Amazing Race?
(cameraman says nothing)
DORA: Fantastico!
BOOTS: I'm so excited, I could just take off right now!
DORA: Hahaha! Boots, we have to wait for the instructions, remember?
BOOTS: Oh yeah.
DORA: Too bad we have to buy our own new map and backpack.
...and Map & Backpack, from Corozal, Puerto Rico.
BACKPACK: Backpack, backpack!
MAP: I'm the map, I'm the map!
BACKPACK: Backpack, backpack!
MAP: I'm the map, I'm the map! I'm the–
TOGETHER: Ymeaaph!
(all teams and host gathered at starting point by a lake in a Dallas park)
You will encounter challenges great and small, and be tested to the limits. Whichever team remains at the last leg, and comes in first place at the finish line... will win the grand prize... of one... million dollars!
(teams go yay)
Now, awaiting you at the other end of the lake are your bags, with your first clue, and the cars you'll take to the airport. Now, is everybody ready?
(teams go yeah)
Okay, then. When I say go, the race begins. Have fun... travel safe... ... ... ... ... ... GO!
(teams go bananas)
Look up the theme song online or something for the effect, 'cause it goes right about here. :)